The worst day of my life. Yes, it was the victory parade. I got ready by brushing my teeth with chocolate sauce and ordering the food. I ate ravenously and rushed out the door, grabbing my new "Katniss" lunchbox (The newest edition :D). I hopped in my Chevy Volt and I drove to the salon where my prep team was. I love them because they tell me all of the juiciest gossip. "Like, OMG, Peeta's back to life," Already heard that one. "Barney is hitting on Dora," now THAT'S juicy! "Yes, give me more Juicy!" I say. After several more exchanges of gossip, they say something that makes me want to kill myself. "You've gained a lot of weight from your 'healthy' diet, so we need to do some surgery." (O_o)
They knock me out with the serum that I use to save Peeta's life in the original book. I dream about rainbows, unicorns, and butterflies until I wake up from my team shaking me. They say I'm done, and I feel much lighter. I start to jump around, and the prep team is sharing confused glances with each other. After about 10 minutes, one of the people is brave enough to approach me. I hiss like an angered cat. Because I am one. The jump and pinch me. I shake my head back and forth, bringing myself back into reality. "Sorry guys." I say.
After dressing me up, I am ready to go. They put me in the same outfit for the whole parade. HUGE mistake. The first 3 districts were fine. I read comments from the Catopal. "Cat-o was pretty, until he got fried. Savannah sounds like an African name, so why is she American?" Next district. "Bob seemed nice, until he entered the games. Then he became as vicious as... Katniss?" Offensive! "Susan has burly hair. Excuse me, I mean curly." On to district 3. I read my comments. Go to the Justice Building. Have a feast. Same thing every day for the next week. In district 4, I start to walk up to the justice building. I trip and fall on my side. "It's all dirty!" I complain. "How can I ever go on?" Sadly, the rules for victors clearly state that you have to finish the parade. That, or get poked to death. And that would be painful.
Luckily, my stylist has the brilliant idea of turning me into a chocolate bar. I look so delicious that I want to eat myself. Then I remember that the costume is made of cattle waste. Unless I'm starving, that wouldn't be a good idea. After a bunch of random comments, (My personal favorite was about Rue. They said she was a midget.) and some feasts, I finally get to President Snow. A huge yellow font appears on the roof, and it says "Boss Fight!". President Snow shoots the roof, and it bounces back and hits an Avox in the head, and the message disappears.
We have a nice conversation about youtube videos. My personal favorite is the Armadillo song. It's annoying but funny at the same. And it has killing. President Snow likes Branches. That song is just gross. You probably haven't watched either of these, so I just skip paragraphs. No need going into detail.
The rest of the tour is a success. The only people who hate me where the people who had front row seats. Something about "manure". Only the chocolate bar idea might not have been the best idea, mainly because at least 12 people tried to eat me.
After the tour, I got a shocking message from the capital. I was expecting, "Hi, I'm President Snow. President Snow talks in first person. President Snow want to kill you. Thanks!" but I actually got "Hi, I'm President Snow. President Snow talks in first person. President Snow wants you to be a Gamemaker. President Snow thanks you in advance!" By the way, he does talk in first person. I know, it's weird.
Me as a gamemaker would be a great Idea! I would make a good games while killing lots of people. Killing. The perfect way to settle all disputes. Killing. It's the perfect hobby for everyone. Killing. Not to be mistaken for mugging. Killing. One of the best ways to get what you want. Killing, killing, killing.
Man, I should publish that. Make a video. With real special FX, and real killing.