I'm a naturally dark person. I've known that since I was young enough to understand what the fuck that even meant. Before she died, Mom would tell me stories of how shy I was when I was younger. I'd hide in the closet, because you could lock it from the inside, whenever she had someone outside of our immediate family inside the house. And my dad. I'd hide from him, too, and that was something my mother never understood.
But that was because she worked, and didn't see the shit Ryan and I went through. Dad lost his job soon after I was born and so my mom left my brother and I alone with him while she did some bullshit job that she always told me I was too young to understand. It makes me wonder what she really did, and what she had to go through due to my father's inability to get off his lazy ass and actually work.
What Ryan and I went through, however, I know and remember clearly. My brother left as soon as mom died, but I can't blame him. He's four years older than me so when he turned eighteen, that was actually an option to him. I don't know why he just left me. I was fourteen and clearly not capable of protecting myself. I was still a tiny fucking kid; underweight and still short. My dad didn't feed me, either, so it wasn't like I was growing much. And to try to keep me from eating at school he was always calling me fat. This, I believe, was due to Ryan eventually growing and being able to fight back. He didn't want me to do the same. I actually listened to him, too. That was, until I met Evan.
The first day of high school was hell. Despite looking like the rest of the conformists, they chose me as a target, like I deserved more bruises or something. The second day I didn't even bother going to class. I just sat behind the school and hoped no one would find me. Luckily for me, that was where Evan hung out.
He must have seen my vacant stare and tear streaked face and took pity on me. He sat down and offered me a cigarette, which I tried to refuse but was still forced upon me.
"So how often does he do it?" He asked, blowing out smoke from his own cancer stick. His voice was much deeper than mine and strangely... attractive. But his words made no sense in my mind.
"W-what?" I asked, looking at him. He didn't return the favor, instead just staring out at the nothingness before himself.
"Your dad. How often does he beat you?"
I was too shocked to respond. How could he know? I'd never seen this boy before, and it wasn't like he could see the marks on me. I wore long sleeved shirts and jeans.
"I'm in your gym class. There's bruises all over you and not just from the assholes here." He explained. "I also know the look of a kicked puppy. I once wore that look." He stood and offered his hand to me, and I took it. He pulled me up. "C'mon. Those clothes don't suit you."
I followed him to a store that I hadn't ever seen before. It was dark and had the strangest clothes I had ever seen at the time, but Evan managed to find some interesting outfits in my size. He had me try them on, then bought them for me. I wondered if he really had the money to be doing this, but before I could think any more on the topic, he was dragging me into the store bathroom to dye my hair. While waiting for the dye to set, we talked.
"My dad was like that, too. Only to me; my other five siblings were fine. My mom did nothing, she didn't care. So one night I just left. They never came looking for me. I live with Leo now. A... friend, I guess. As long as I work, he doesn't really seem to care." He rubbed the back of his head and looked back at me. "What about you?"
It took me a minute before I actually started speaking. I told him my story about my mom and Ryan and my father. He nodded sympathetically.
"No one deserves that shit. The dye's done- stick your head under the sink."
When I lifted my head, I loved what I saw. My shocking red hair was replaced with the darkest shade of black I ever saw. I just stared until Evan told me to change my clothes. After leaving the store, he took me to a weird diner with an unfriendly waitress. He practically had to force food down my throat.
"Dad says I'm fat." I grumbled under my breath, poking at the sandwich, wondering what fraction of a pound I'd gain from consuming the thing. "I can't eat."
"You're fucking skinnier than me and I'munderweight. Eat it already or I'm leaving you here with the bill." I looked at the waitress. He must have seen how afraid I was of her when we first walked in. I thought of my options for a moment before taking a bite. "Good boy."
Evan watched me to make sure I ate all of it. All he drank was coffee, insisting that he wasn't hungry. I felt that he was a hypocrite. He told me to take him to my house, and, without questioning, I did so. I doubted my father was home; he liked to hit the bar early. Once in my room he grabbed one of my bookbags and started shoving things in it. "What... what are you doing?" I asked, confusion evident on my face.
"Packing your shit. You're coming to live with me. Now grab another bag or something and help." I took a bookbag that used to belong to Ryan and began putting old clothes in it before Evan told me to pack other things. I kept underwear and socks and then began to put things of importance in the bookbag instead. It wasn't like this when Ryan left. Just a note and some money missing, and that was it. He left everything. I guess things from this house made him think of the things that happened.
I didn't even know Evan's name when I moved in with him, but I didn't care. He saved my life. It wasn't until about a year of living with him and Leo that I realized I loved Evan more than I'd ever loved anything. I had every reason to love him. He was the first person since my mother to treat me decently. He gave my life meaning. So I told him not long after I realized, and that day had been the first time I ever saw Evan smile.
In case you're wondering, I didn't have a happy ending, because my life is far from over. I had one hell of a rocky beginning but that doesn't matter. What matters is now. What matters is Evan and college, and the future. An actual family, not like the fucked up ones Evan and I had. Seeing Ryan again. What matters is that I'm finally happy and I intend to keep it that way.