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Memoirs of a Korean High School Drop-out

Man, I can't believe Jin ain't here. I was supposed to fight him at this tournament. Does he show up? NoooOOOooo! He's the only guy I haven't been able to beat, and when I finally get a chance to fight him at the tournament, he doesn't even show. That son of a... why, I should... hey! That's him!

"You're finally here." I tried to get his attention. He turns around and looks at me like an idiot.

"So, vhat do you vant?" Wait, wait, wait, since when do you get a RUSSIAN accent from living in Australia?

Anyway, I answer, "I never to the chance to fight you at the tournament. I'll take you on right here, right now."

He must still think I'm an idiot. I mean, he just stares at me and replies, "There is no reason to fight." Who does he think he is? Relena Peacecraft? He's always denying being a Mishima! If I were one of them, I'd get one of those diapers-thong things that Heihachi always wears-- whoa, I'm getting off track here!

So, I say, "You ain't got one? Well I DO!"

~

(Deep breathing)

I can't believe it, I won. I actually won! But he's STILL looking at me like I'M AN IDIOT! All of a sudden, my drill sergeant yelled out, "Sergeant!" Where the HELL did he come from? He just has to start running his big mouth... he never does shut up. "Desertion is an offense punishable by court martial. Give yourself up, soldier!" I gulped. What was I gonna do?

Jin just smirked at me, and mouthed, "What a wuss." Then he said, "Oy," but I think it came out like, "Hoy." He then kicked the crap out of four of the soldiers. All I could do was whistle. I beat the rest of them up.

I just stood there with my cheesy little grin... that is, until Jin says, "Idiot, RUN!"

My drill sergeant shouted "FIRE!" and began shooting at us! We ran behind a car, and realized that I really had beaten him, and I wanted to make sure that Jin remembered that too, so I said, "Kazama, remember, I kicked your ass back there!" The bastard, he's igorin' me! "Hey, you listenin'?"

Jin just gave me an evil look. I thought he wanted to kill me! "I'll give you a chance to even the score at the next tournament. You better show up."

Jin just grinned... until he realized who's car they were shooting at. "My car, my car! Oh, wait, it's Heihachi's... Let's get the hell outta here." So we left and his behind a different car.

I heard my drill sergeant yell "Cease fire!", but when he saw that we weren't laying on the ground dead or somesuch, his mouth twitched, which just cracked my ass up! Priceless.

Jin looked at what was left of his car. "Well, at least the hubcap is still there!" To his luck, it suddenly unscrewed itself! AHAHAHA!!!

          ~END~