A/N: I do not own Facebook... Just saying.
Major Edward Elric stormed down the corridors of the hotel in a silent rage, a distinct fiery aura radiating from his very being. Staff nearby quickly scurried out of his way; stopping their usual cheerful greetings halfway and taking cover lest they face the wrath of the Fullmetal Alchemist. Only last week he'd sent someone running for their lives. No one was really quite sure what happened (the most they'd heard about the cause of Ed's rage was something along the lines of 'bastards', 'ambush' and 'palm trees'. Whatever that meant), but it was a unanimous agreement between all that worked in the establishment that to piss off Fullmetal was a very bad idea.
And nobody really wanted to find themselves in the middle of a messy, slapdash transmutation.
So, set on reaching his hotel room and carrying out his latest order, Edward picked up his pace. Eventually reaching his destination, he flung open the door, slammed it shut behind him and stomped over to the desk where there sat a small, thin, metallic-looking device just waiting for him to open it up and get to work.
He did just that. He plonked himself down in the small, rickety chair and opened up the laptop. Ed grimaced seeing the military's emblem on the corner of the keyboard and again on the screen as the device loaded. He'd have to make a note to change the background as well.
Anyway, having the computer started up, Ed quickly opened up the internet, now intent on getting his task over with quickly. He followed the instructions he'd been given by the Colonel; going onto this strange new site and filling in his details where it told him to. Once finished he huffed in annoyance. Was this it?
Agitated by the lack of importance and beginning to wonder why he'd ever let the others bully him into the idea, he began to type away at the keyboard.
Edward Elric: Alright Colonel Bastard you got your wish, I'm on this facebook thing or whatever. Now what?
Roy Mustang, Alphonse Elric, Ling Yao and 3 others like this.
Comments:
Roy Mustang: Finally Fullmetal!
Alphonse Elric: Wow brother, I didn't expect you to actually create an account.
Edward Elric: Al?! Even you're on here?! And what's that bar? Why does everyone keep liking this?
Alphonse Elric: Of course I'm on here, brother. The Colonel insisted I get a facebook too.
Roy Mustang: Yes I insisted! I figured it would be useful to keep in contact whilst you're away from Central.
Edward Elric: You would bastard.
Roy Mustang: Just spend some time getting used to the site, Fullmetal.
Riza Hawkeye: Sir, I thought I'd find you on here. Have you gotten the chance to start on that paperwork I gave you yet?
Roy Mustang: Crap.
Edward Elric likes this.
It was truly odd, Ed thought.
Honestly, how many people had an account on this thing? He hadn't even heard its name before Mustang mentioned it that morning. Not many people even had internet access in some parts of the country and yet here it was as if he'd just stepped into some virtual universe with all its little 'groups' - communities in which people interacted just as they would in the street. Frankly he found it hard to believe that he'd somehow been able to avoid something so seemingly huge.
"Oi, Al," he spoke up, turning away from the screen to stare at the hunk of metal on the other side of the room.
Alphonse lowered the book in his hands and met the older boy's gaze. "Yes, brother?" he asked, a metallic ring to his soft voice.
"How long has this 'Facebook' crap been around?"
Al hummed in thought, abandoning his book completely and placing it on the table. "I'm not sure…" he began. "Only a couple of years now, brother. The internet is still quite new."
Edward grumbled in response, shifting back to scowl at the laptop screen. Not a second later that blasted notification box came to life once more with a friend request.
Opening the request, his jaw hit the desk. "Winry too?"
Edward Elric: How the hell many people have facebook?! Nobody told me this!
Comments:
Roy Mustang: Well if you'd started sooner…
Edward Elric: You shut the hell up.
Winry Rockbell: You didn't know I had a fb Ed? I spend whole nights on here!
Edward Elric: How should I know what you're doing in that auto-cave of yours?
Winry Rockbell: It's not an auto-cave it's my workshop!
Edward Elric: Yeah whatever you say automail freak.
Winry Rockbell: WHAT was that alchemy freak?
Roy Mustang likes this.
Edward Elric: WHAT DO YOU THINK I SAID AUTOMAIL FREAK?
Winry Rockbell: *grabs wrench*
Roy Mustang likes this.
Edward Elric: ENOUGH WITH THE LIKES COLONEL BASTARD!
Ling Yao likes this.
Edward Elric: WHAT EVEN LING TOO?!
Edward Elric is now friends with Winry Rockbell, Ling Yao, Izumi Curtis, and 5 other people.
"How?" he pointed to the screen in disbelief as he scrolled down through the list of people new to his Facebook account.
You have accepted Winry Rockbell's friend request.
"Calm down, brother!" Al stood to the side, waving his hands as if the motion would somehow calm Ed down, but to no avail.
Ed's eyes darted between his brother and his Facebook. "Does Resembool even have internet?"
You have accepted Ling Yao's friend request.
The alchemist paused upon seeing the new name in his friend request box. He blinked once or twice before uttering,
"Isn't he in Xing?"
You have accepted Izumi Curtis's friend request.
A bead of sweat formed on his brow.
T-Teacher..?"
Al regarded his brother with caution. "Ed-"
"How come I never heard of this site?"
Alphonse Elric is at – Lior with Edward Elric.
Edward Elric posted on Alphonse Elric's timeline: Oi, Al I think we've gotta get outta here. I don't like the looks these people are giving us.
Comments:
Alphonse Elric: Be nice, brother.
Edward Elric: I'm serious Al! I think they remember us from last time…
Alphonse Elric: But we made their lives better in the end, right?
Edward Elric: …We abolished their entire religion Al.
Alphonse Elric: B-But they were free from that Father Cornello afterwards and rebuilt their town!
Edward Elric: No Al. Just No.
Edward Elric: Oh come on let's just leave Al.
Alphonse Elric: *sigh* I guess you win, brother.
Roy Mustang: Don't forget to bring me your report.
Edward Elric: DAMMIT MUSTANG.
"You know, brother," Al began, watching as Ed awkwardly leaned against a nearby wall and shook the sand from his boots; "maybe the Colonel was right this time. I think it might be best to head back to Central so you can get that report done."
Edward scoffed at the mention of Colonel Mustang and roughly shoved his foot back into the warm, now comfortable and non-sandy boots he'd left to the side. He straightened up, tugged on the collar of his trademark red coat and faced his brother, motioning for them to start walking again to which Alphonse complied.
"You've gotta be kidding me, bro." Ed said almost wearily. "We've just left that hell-hole and now you wanna turn straight back?"
"We came to see Lior again, brother, and I don't think it requires us to stay more than a couple nights-"
"Do you realise what a drag scribbling out all those papers is?"
"It has to be handed in on time!" Al pushed. "The Colonel can't give you any more warnings! It's not just your problem you know, brother. Mustang has his fair share of grief over this too."
Begrudgingly, Ed sighed. Although the thought of Colonel Bastard getting grilled – so to speak – brought him nothing but pleasure and a sense of euphoria that could only some from such sadism, Al's pleading voice and concern for his older brother ultimately won the battle.
"Alright, fine… But we may as well take the long way round this time."
Edward Elric is at - Dublith with Alphonse Elric.
Izumi Curtis posted on Edward Elric's timeline: Hey brats you coming here and not stopping by?
Sig Curtis likes this.
Comments:
Alphonse Elric: O-Of course we're stopping by, Teacher!
Edward Elric likes this
Edward Elric: Of course! We'll be there in a few!
Izumi Curtis likes this.
Izumi Curtis: You'd better be, brats. It's been too long.
Alphonse Elric: S-Sorry about that ^^;
Needless to say, their Teacher truly struck fear into the hearts of the two brothers.
Though this was the woman who had trained them and cared for them and practically treated them as if they were her own, it really had to be said that for all that was worth, Izumi Curtis was still terrifying as fuck.
Terrifying. As. Fuck.
So although the two boys were for once willing to be as pleasant as humanely possible (for Ed at least) – because she was keeping them from an early journey back to the city – the competitive glint in her eyes when she had opened the door to them made them want to turn and run as fast as hell. That and they had a feeling she was annoyed over their lack of visits over the past few months. And a good few long months they had been judging by the look on her face.
"AH!"
Alphonse would've jumped out of his skin. If he had any at least.
"It's about time!" Izumi opened the door as far as it could go, but made no move to step aside and let them in.
"A-Ah," Ed almost stammered; "Teacher, how've you-"
The sound of cracking knuckles cut him right off.
"So how about some training?" Izumi stepped forward and the brothers had to resist the urge to scramble away like frightened mice. "Show me how you've improved!"
Messages:
Alphonse Elric: Hey brother, do you think we should hide the meat cleaver from her yet?
Edward Elric: I don't know Al… She seems pretty calm tonigh so we'dhadlkcoahcavjajlkaggajik
Alphonse Elric: ? Edward?
Alphonse Elric: Brother?
Alphonse Elric: …
Alphonse Elric: BROTHER!
Edward Elric: Sorry bout that bro, but yes. Yes I do think it's time to hide the meat cleaver from her.
Edward Elric: GAH! She's at the door again! Gotta go!
Edward Elric has left the conversation.
Alphonse Elric: Ah do I have to go save him now?