Title: You'll Be In My Heart.
Author: Glenstorm
Characters: Qui/Obi
Genre: Songfic. Mush-fest. Angst. Hurt/Comfort (In fact, all the things we love.)
Summary: A series of vignettes set throughout the lives of Master and Padawan.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Song belongs to Phil Collins and the film Tarzan.
"Presenting Padawan Xanatos for creche duty, Master Hallan," Qui-Gon announced to the senior Master as he stood behind his ominously silent Padawan.
"Ah, Master Jinn. Good, good. This the boy?" The aging creche Master peered up at the raven haired apprentice, whose expression was nearly a black as his hair. "Hmmm. Well, come along then, young man, there's plenty to do!" Master Hallan turned away, then without even looking back stated: "And take that look off your face, you'll scare the children!"
Qui-Gon laughed as Xanatos' scowl deepened further still.
Paying the suddenly dangerous expression no mind, he clapped his apprentice on the shoulder and gave him a slight push forward. "Listen to Master Hallan, Padawan," he said before dropping his voice low for Xanatos' ears only. "The Council could have assigned you a worse punishment."
The look Xanatos directed at his Master was nothing short of mutinous. Without a word he stalked away after Master Hallan.
Qui-Gon shook his head in silent amusement. It seemed creche duty was as popular as ever. A thorn in the side of every Padawan since the dawn of time. Especially for his haughty charge.
To say he hated it would be a gross understatement. But Xanatos only had himself to blame for this and he would just have to deal with the consequences. Qui-Gon could not rescue him this time--Yoda had warned him with an unusually severe glance, firmly overruling any protest he might have made in his Padawan's frequent defence.
Still, as he'd said, it could have been worse.
Casting one last look at the door through which his Padawan had disappeared, Qui-Gon started for the exit.
And was quite unprepared when the squall of an infant drew him to an abrupt halt.
Jolted from his thoughts, Qui-Gon frowned, confused as to why the sound had stopped him so abruptly in mid stride. Considering the area that he was in, it was not an uncommon occurrence to hear one child or more grousing over some minor grievance or another. So why was he here, suddenly perched tense in a doorway.
It was like a cord had been pulled.
Listening carefully now, he waited until the thready wail reached him again and was surprised when he experienced the same strange tug. That cry… There was something about it. It just compelled him to turn round. Turn round and see.
Curiosity peeked, Qui-Gon moved back into the creche, letting the sound of the throaty squalls lead him to a corridor that branched away from the main creche area. He followed it until he came upon an open doorway. Without the slightest hesitation, the Master strode through.
The room beyond was large, filled with a soothing, golden light that immediately set the senses at ease. Twenty cots lined the walls on either side, each one containing a tiny infant.
Qui-Gon passed by the nearest cot where a white-haired human boy was gripping the bars, struggling to balance on wobbly feet as he peered curiously up at Qui-Gon, throwing the occasional scathing look at the cot next door with icy blue eyes.
Ignoring him, Qui-Gon stepped straight up to the offending crib and looked down.
Lying in the centre was a small golden-haired child. He couldn't have been above seven or eight months old, far too young it seemed to know true grief, but the little body was curled upon itself, heaving with the force of wracking sobs. The Force fairly vibrated with the baby's distress.
Qui-Gon's breath caught at the sight, finally realising why he had been drawn here. What he was seeing was most definitely not a small childish upset.
Frown deepening, the Master cast around for the minder of this infant clan and spotted her walking down the aisle towards him, checking each baby as she went. As she drew near Qui-Gon pulled her aside.
"How come he's crying like that?" he asked, concern overriding any preamble.
"Oh," the clan leader glanced into the cot. A fleeting sorrow touched her heavy features. "Poor little mite. He's not long arrived," she sighed. "He's been having some trouble adjusting to leaving his family behind. His mother most of all. I believe the Master who discovered him had some trouble getting him to let go of her. She used to hold him quite a lot, I'm told, and now he can't understand why she's not here to comfort him." The woman caught Qui-Gon's stricken look and tried quickly to assure him. "Don't worry, Master Jinn," she said, "it's only natural. All of the new initiates go through this in one degree or another. He'll settle." She smiled and squeezed his arm before continuing calmly on her round leaving the Jedi Master in her wake.
Qui-Gon watched her go. He supposed he was expected to leave as well. But he could only stand, frozen over the cot, struggling to absorb the clan leader's words as the baby's wails grew more heart rending.
He couldn't do it.
Maybe it was his connection to the Living Force, or maybe it was because he didn't have the clan leader's callous logic over this situation--not having watched infants arrive, scared and confused, for so long that it became a normal, every day occurrence to him. But for whatever the reason Qui-Gon could not just walk away and leave this baby to his grief.
To 'settle' as it was put.
He had to do something.
Carefully he leaned down and stroked a hand over the silken ginger hair. "It's alright, little one," he whispered, reaching out with a tendril of the Force to touch the baby boy's mind.
Straight away raw emotions swamped his senses. Confusion. Fear. Loneliness. The need for a mother was almost overwhelming. But she was gone, her comforting warmth left far behind and now there were only strangers. The love that had been the very centre of this boy's world was gone.
Qui-Gon felt tears prickle the back of his own eyes. He had never considered taking children away from their parents as more wrong than he did in that moment.
He couldn't bear listening to these cries anymore. It might just break him.
Acting on a sudden impulse and ignoring the spike of jealousy from the cot next door, he swept the baby into his arms and held him close, absorbing some of the terrible hurt into himself while sending out soothing waves into the baby's heart and mind in an attempt to calm him.
He would remain here forever if he had to.
Time passed, seconds collecting into long, patient minutes until finally the terrible tension began to ease and Qui-Gon felt the tiny body relax minutely against him.
The Master found himself releasing a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.
Yet despite his progress, the child's eyes remained tight shut, tears continuing to leak heavily from beneath the thick lashes-- shutters that protected him from the sight of his new world and the strange giant now holding him.
Qui-Gon brushed at the downy brow. "Aren't you even going to look at me?" he asked as lightly as he could.
The boy only tightened his lids more firmly and gave another hearty sob.
An obvious 'no'.
Sighing, Qui-Gon continued his patient ministrations until slowly, very slowly, the baby's cries began to fade away.
"That's it, little one, calm now," he murmured as the sobs ebbed to mere hitching breaths. "Everything will be alright."
At long last, watery grey eyes blinked open and took their first wary glance into his face.
Qui-Gon smiled. "That's better. I'm not that bad to look at, really."
The baby made no noise, just continued to watch him curiously and Qui-Gon was surprised to feel a slight 'nudge' somewhere in the back of his mind as those eyes connected with his.
The baby must have felt it too because his wary curiosity turned instantly into a kind of wonder. Reaching out with a pudgy little fist he found one of Qui-Gon's calloused fingers and took hold of it, gripping on as if he never meant to let go.
Warmed beyond measure, the Jedi Master curled the chosen finger around the tiny hand, fully aware in that moment that if a whole army of Togorian warriors were to charge through this room, not one of them would lay so much as a claw on this child while there was still breath left in him. He would do anything.
The little boy smiled, as if sensing the protective thought.
Qui-Gon returned the gesture tenderly. "That's right, young one. I'm here. No more tears."
A wave of trust swept over the Force as the baby relaxed completely into Qui-Gon's warmth. Overtaxed grey eyes grew drowsy. Or were they blue now?
Silently wondering the Jedi Master found a makeshift seat and sat down with his burden. "Rest now, little one," he murmured softly. "Everything will be alright."
The baby did not need any more suggestion than that. He was exhausted beyond measure. Qui-Gon shifted his arms and drew protective energy around them both, rocking gently as the child drifted away.
He kept watch like that for many hours until the tears dried upon the tiny face. And as he brushed at the soft fingers still gripping so tenaciously to his own, he smiled quietly to himself.
Everything would indeed be fine…
Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry