Sakura shifted in her bed, no matter what she tried, she just couldn't get
to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she would see him, the one who had
plagued her dreams since the minute she first saw him all those years ago.
Syaoran.
She chucked her covers off frustrated and sat down at her desk. Sighing, she lifted her pen and started to write, it was the only way to let it all out. Here's what she wrote:
Dearest Syaoran,
Not dear, or just Syaoran, no dearest because that's what you are to me, my most dearest thing, most precious. I know when I told you how I felt, it came as a shock to you, and you haven't been able to look me in the eye since. That is why I have chosen to write you this letter, because you can't bare to talk to me. It pains my heart to have it like this; it also makes me a little unsure of how you feel. I know what you think, how can I feel this way for you? Is it really that hard to believe? I'm just a girl who's fallen in love with her best friend, I'm just asking for you to love me in return. I know that's hard for you when you're with someone else but if you could give us a chance you'll see what it's like to have someone love you with their whole heart and maybe you'll feel it too. I hate seeing you with her, it hurts so much, too much sometimes but you don't notice, you never do.
How can I explain what I feel for you? I've never felt anything like it before. It's something so great, sometimes I feel numb, consumed by the love I have for you. When I'm with you, it doesn't matter that you have a girlfriend, each smile is for me. You make me feel special and sometimes it's like I'm the only one you see but I'm not am I? Because you have her. I don't hate her, she's a lovely person, probably the right one for you but then there's always that possibility, a tiny bit of hope that maybe I could be wrong, maybe she's completely wrong for you and maybe, just maybe I could be the right one for you. It's the only thing I have left to hold onto. The way you look at her, your eyes full of love, I long to see you look at me the same way. I've always wondered what it would be like to call you mine, to dream of you whispering in my ear and holding me until the sun rises. Dreams are all I have at the moment, but if you feel the same then both of our dreams can come true.
Do you remember when you first started going out with her? I was upset because you were going to forget all about me but you lifted my chin up with you finger, forcing me to look at you and said "Don't worry Sakura, no one can take the place I hold for you. You're my best friend. I could never forget you" You looked at me straight in the eyes and I think if you hadn't got a firm grip on my shoulders, then I would have collapsed on the floor. That was the moment I realised I was losing you and it was so hard to keep going when all I could hear in my head were the words 'best friends'. That's all you thought of me, nothing more, yet I still told you how I felt. I can't believe I did it, but I know it was right and I don't regret it. I couldn't keep living a lie, hiding behind fake masks. You needed to know. You said we'd always be friends, do you still think that? Is it even possible for us to be friends now you know how I feel about you, knowing that's not how I see you?
Whatever you think, whatever you say it won't change how I feel about you, nothing can. It's not something I can just switch off at a touch of a button, it something that will always be there inside of me, even when I try to forget it. It'll still be there, in the way you look at me, the way you smile, in the way you laugh. I won't ever be able to forget it, because you'll always be there to remind me.
Though I know you'll never be mine I want to thank you for helping me find true love. Without you, I would have never known what it feels like to love someone so much you'd do anything for them, even sacrifice your own happiness so they could be happy.
So I've told you how I feel; now it's your turn. I'm not going anywhere Syaoran; I'll always be here for you as a friend if you ever need me. So take care, good night. It's not long now till I see you again in my dreams and once again I can relive the times where your love is mine.
Love always Sakura
A/N I may write another chapter, like Syaoran's reply. Don't know yet, we'll see how things go
She chucked her covers off frustrated and sat down at her desk. Sighing, she lifted her pen and started to write, it was the only way to let it all out. Here's what she wrote:
Dearest Syaoran,
Not dear, or just Syaoran, no dearest because that's what you are to me, my most dearest thing, most precious. I know when I told you how I felt, it came as a shock to you, and you haven't been able to look me in the eye since. That is why I have chosen to write you this letter, because you can't bare to talk to me. It pains my heart to have it like this; it also makes me a little unsure of how you feel. I know what you think, how can I feel this way for you? Is it really that hard to believe? I'm just a girl who's fallen in love with her best friend, I'm just asking for you to love me in return. I know that's hard for you when you're with someone else but if you could give us a chance you'll see what it's like to have someone love you with their whole heart and maybe you'll feel it too. I hate seeing you with her, it hurts so much, too much sometimes but you don't notice, you never do.
How can I explain what I feel for you? I've never felt anything like it before. It's something so great, sometimes I feel numb, consumed by the love I have for you. When I'm with you, it doesn't matter that you have a girlfriend, each smile is for me. You make me feel special and sometimes it's like I'm the only one you see but I'm not am I? Because you have her. I don't hate her, she's a lovely person, probably the right one for you but then there's always that possibility, a tiny bit of hope that maybe I could be wrong, maybe she's completely wrong for you and maybe, just maybe I could be the right one for you. It's the only thing I have left to hold onto. The way you look at her, your eyes full of love, I long to see you look at me the same way. I've always wondered what it would be like to call you mine, to dream of you whispering in my ear and holding me until the sun rises. Dreams are all I have at the moment, but if you feel the same then both of our dreams can come true.
Do you remember when you first started going out with her? I was upset because you were going to forget all about me but you lifted my chin up with you finger, forcing me to look at you and said "Don't worry Sakura, no one can take the place I hold for you. You're my best friend. I could never forget you" You looked at me straight in the eyes and I think if you hadn't got a firm grip on my shoulders, then I would have collapsed on the floor. That was the moment I realised I was losing you and it was so hard to keep going when all I could hear in my head were the words 'best friends'. That's all you thought of me, nothing more, yet I still told you how I felt. I can't believe I did it, but I know it was right and I don't regret it. I couldn't keep living a lie, hiding behind fake masks. You needed to know. You said we'd always be friends, do you still think that? Is it even possible for us to be friends now you know how I feel about you, knowing that's not how I see you?
Whatever you think, whatever you say it won't change how I feel about you, nothing can. It's not something I can just switch off at a touch of a button, it something that will always be there inside of me, even when I try to forget it. It'll still be there, in the way you look at me, the way you smile, in the way you laugh. I won't ever be able to forget it, because you'll always be there to remind me.
Though I know you'll never be mine I want to thank you for helping me find true love. Without you, I would have never known what it feels like to love someone so much you'd do anything for them, even sacrifice your own happiness so they could be happy.
So I've told you how I feel; now it's your turn. I'm not going anywhere Syaoran; I'll always be here for you as a friend if you ever need me. So take care, good night. It's not long now till I see you again in my dreams and once again I can relive the times where your love is mine.
Love always Sakura
A/N I may write another chapter, like Syaoran's reply. Don't know yet, we'll see how things go