What would happen if Two-Bit had a hang-over and was in a bad mood? Writen for my friend, Morgan, who wanted to know what would happen if Two-Bit has a hang-over and wasn't acting gay like in the other storys she's read. A little humor in here about Oprah and Tom Cruise.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Outsiders, they are owned by S.E. Hinton
"Today on the ten o'clock news, a break-in..."
CLICK
"Is your hair line receding..."
CLICK
"When we return to Oprah, we speak to Tom Cruise..."
CLICK
"Nothing's on..." Darry whispered to himself.
"What's Oprah?" came a familiar voice. Darry jumped and put a hand on his chest, breathing hard. He let out one big breath, slid his hand down and turned to look behind his lazy chair. There was a hand, balled into a fist with two googly eyes and red marker, making the space between the first finger and thumb look like a mouth with eyes.
"What the...?" He craned his neck to look what body the hand was connected to. The person quickly moved to the other side of the chair to avoid Darry's eyes. Darry looked to where the body went, but it just moved again. They kept that up until Darry reached around and grabbed him by the back of his shirt. Two-Bit was grinning like the Chessy cat. He shoved his hand in Darry's face.
"HIYA DARRY-BOY!"
"Hello, Two-Bit."
"Whatcha watchin'?" his hand asked him in a drunk voice. Darry pinched the end of his nose as Two-bit sat himself on the arm of Darry's chair.
"Are you drunk?" Two-Bit wavered a bit.
"Neva hearda dat show..."
"No, it was a question." Darry sighed, then looked up at Two-Bit, "Are you drunk?"
"I hada... few..." he stammered.
"You do know what time it is, right?"
"Yea... ten somefin, iight?"Two-Bit answered, twisting around then laying down on Darry's lap. Darry stared down at him.
"What are you doing?"
"Layin'."
"On me?" Two-Bit grinned then wiggled a little. Darry stared down at him.
"Why not...?" Two-Bit yawned out, closing his eyes.
"Because..." but a soft snore come from Two-Bit, stopping Darry's reason. "Two-Bit, you cant sleep here!" Darry yelled at him, slapping his cheek. Two-Bit was KO'd and didn't budge. "Two-Bit! You're heavy and you NEED to get up!" Two-Bit just snored away. Darry tried to pick him up, but failed. He was tired from work and didn't have the strength to pick up an eighteen-year-old drunk kid. "Two-Bit..." Darry almost whined. Darry leaned his head back, defeated. Before he knew it, he was asleep too, with a Two-Bit on his lap.
–x-X-x–
Darry was woken up in the morning at the sound of yelling, a pillow fight, and what sounded like someone cooking. He cracked his eyes open and looked down at his lap. Two-Bit was still passed out on his lap. Darry sighed and looked up. Soda and Steve were jumping on the couch with pillows, attacking each other. Pony had just staggered out of the bedroom, rubbing his exposed stomach. Darry craned his neck to look into the kitchen.
"Who's cooking?" he asked. Soda and Steve froze and looked over.
"G'mornin, Darrel!" Steve yelled.
"Dally's cooking, Dar." Soda said, taking the opportunity to wack Steve upside the head with the pillow. Steve responded by jumping on Soda, wailing like an Indian as he did. Darry shook his head, laughing to himself, then froze. Dallas Winston? Cooking? Well, he'll deal with it later. First he needs to get Two-Bit off of him. He slid his arms under the dead weight, one under his knees, and one under his back. Darry stood, bringing Two-Bit with him. He turned, laid the sleeping greaser in his chair, and arched his back. Sleeping in that chair wasn't good for him. He turned back to the fighting duo, making Soda wasn't killing Steve, or the other way around. Neither one were dead yet, so he made his way to the kitchen. Pony was sitting at the table, Johnny was across from Pony, and Dally had a white apron on and was facing the stove. Darry wasn't surprised to see Johnny or Dally in his house, just surprised that Dally was cooking without being asked to. Darry squeezed between Johnny and Dally to get to the coffee pot. Dally twisted his head around to look at Darry, who was now helping himself to a cup of coffee.
"Morning, Sleepin' Beauty." Dally said to Darry. Darry shot him a look.
"Did someone ask you to cook, Dallas?"
"Nope." Dally turned back to the eggs. "How do you like your eggs? I forgot."
"Why are you, then?"
"Because I saw you and Two-Bit in the chair, still sleeping, and when I went to check to see if Soda or Pony were awake, neither of them were. No one else was in the house and I know your rule." he explained.
"Hm?"
"First one awake must cook breakfast."
"What's with the apron?"
"I like these jeans," Dally turned again to face Darry, "How do you like your eggs, Darrel?"
"Oh. Uh, in a bacon-and-tomato sandwich."
"Can do. What about Pone?"
"Hard. Soda likes his with grape jelly."
"Grape jelly? What type of stomach does he have? Sheesh..." Johnny looked up. He looked over at Darry and mouthed the words 'Is it poisoned?' to him. Darry chuckled. Dally turned around to face him. Darry just grinned a rare grin.
"You know that apron really suits you, Dallas." he said. Dally swapped Darry's arm with the spatula. He turned back to the stove.
"Darry, get me a plate." he commanded. Darry made a face at the back of the blonde greasers head and went to the cabinet. He took out a plate and handed it to Dallas. Just then, Two-Bit made his way into the kitchen, holding his head and mouthing a few words too dirty to say.
"Hang-over, Two-Bit?" Johnny asked. Two-Bit glanced at Johnny, glared, and continued his route to the medicine cabinet. He sourly reached up and jerked the door open.
"Where's the damn Advil?!" he yelled, filing through the medicine. "Pony's med... Darry's sleeping pills..." He got madder and madder with each bottle that wasn't Advil. Darry walked over to Two-Bit and reached up to grab a white bottle. Two-Bit was staring at him.
"Here, Two-Bit."
"Did I fall asleep on you?" he asked, seriously.
"Yeah, don't worry." Darry grabbed a glass through the cabinet next to the medicine. He walked to the sink and filled the glass up with water. Two-Bit took it and the two Advil Darry offered.
"Sorry, Dar."
"Forget it..."
"Why didn't you kick me off?"
"You were drunk and heavy." Two-Bit popped in the two Advil and swallowed them with out taking a gulp of water. Then, he chugged the water. Dallas was walking around, grabbing plates and forks, setting them down on the table and putting the food down. Two-Bit looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow.
"Is there something wrong with you, Dally-boy?"
"I think he was hit in the head a bit too hard..." Steve said, looping in. His cheek was turning a bright purple. Darry looked at him for a moment.
"Steve, how did you...?" Then Soda came in, also with his cheek turning purple. "Soda!"
"What'd I do this time?"
"Did you and Steve get into a fight?"
"Kinda."
"Hang-over, Two-Bit?" Steve asked when he noticed the Two-Bit had slammed his head into the counter. Two-Bit growled in response. Steve went over to Two-Bit and poked him rapidly.
POKE
"Stop."
POKE
"Stop."
POKE
"Stop."
POKE
"Stop."
POKE POKE
"STOP IT, STEVE!"
POKE. Two-Bit angrily seized Steve's finger. He shot the greaser a warning look. Steve just grinned and poked him with the other hand.
POKE
"Stop."
POKE
"Stop."
POKE. Two-Bit grabbed the other hand. Steve quickly laced his fingers with Two-Bits and pushed against his strength. Two-Bit pushed back. Now, they were in a 'Who's Stronger?' competition. Two-Bit, having a hang-over and a short temper, beat Steve by driving him into a kneeling position and making him go "Ow, ow, ow, ow." Dally was getting a kick out of all of this. Only he had gotten Steve to yell uncle before. Now Two-Bit was making him yell 'ow' over and over. He guessed the Strongest greaser is still Darry, then Dally, then Two-Bit with a hang-over. Two-Bit looked over at Dally.
"You cooked?"
"Gotta problem?"
"Is it poisoned?"
"What?"
"Poisoned?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Two-Bit, are you okay?" Ponyboy asked. Two-Bit walked into the living room and draped him self over the back of the couch. Darry looked out at Two-Bit. He glanced at Dallas.
"Is it poisoned?"
–x-X-x--
And that was weird. I was bored and out of ideas. REVIEW