Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Final Fantasy, as much as I wish I did, I don't.
I ran through the slums of Midgar. I didn't want him to catch me, if he did, I was done for. We all saw Cloud kill him, yet he's returned? I couldn't believe it.
I looked behind me, I saw him, his single black wing, that long sword called Masamune, all racing towards me. I couldn't run any faster, my legs started to hurt.
I felt his arm wrap around my waist as he had finally caught up to me. There was a sudden pain in my head. I wanted so badly for this to be a dream.
He bent his head down and whispered in my ear "Like I said, Mai, I will never be a memory." As he wrapped his wing around us and the surroundings of Midgar disappeared from my view.
I woke up in my bed, my pillow drenched with sweat from my having been lying on it. I tried to calm my breathing. That nightmare made me think, was it really possible for Sephiroth to return? We had all seen Cloud kill him, right? He was dead, wasn't he?
I was afraid to go back to sleep. Would I have the same dream? Was it just a dream? Or had Sephiroth really returned and he was just letting me know this through my dreams?
I hugged my legs close to my body and closed my eyes hoping, praying I wouldn't have this dream. I slowly covered myself with the blanket and let the peaceful darkness of sleep over take me.
"Hello, Strife delivery service, you name it we deliver it! How can I help you?" I heard Tifa say from the office room as I walked down the stairs of the 7 Heaven bar. I sat down at the bar and waited for Tifa to finish.
"Morning, Mai. How was your ni- what's wrong?" Said Tifa as she walked out of the room and towards the bar where I sat.
"Huh, oh nothing, it's not important." I said trying not to meet her gaze because if I did I know she would know that I was lying to her.
"Mai, you don't look like you've slept at all. What kept you up?"
"It was just… a nightmare, no big deal." I tried hard to make it seem like nothing, but the dream ate at my mind. "Where's Cloud?" I said trying to change the subject.
"A delivery. Now what was your nightmare about?" She said not wanting to leave it alone.
"Nothing. When is he getting back?" I said trying to change the subject again.
"I don't know, after that he's going to see Rufus, and stop trying to change the subject, Mai!" she raised her voice a little, obviously getting frustrated with me.
"It's none of your business, Tifa!" I screamed back, banging my hands on the counter and getting up from my seat. I didn't mean to get so mad at her, but she kept pressing it when I obviously didn't want to talk about it. "I'll be up stairs." I said plainly and walked out.
I lay back on my bed, and closed my eyes. My mind started to slowly wander off until I had unknowingly fallen asleep.
"Mai? Mai, wake up?" I heard a voice say.
"Huh?" I said getting up and slowly opening my eyes to see Cloud. "Cloud? I thought you were on delivery and then going to see Rufus?"
"I was and I did. Tifa called me and told me you were acting strange, that something was bothering you. What's wrong?" he said as he sat next to me on the bed and looked at me with great concern.
"It's nothing, Cloud; I swear I'm fine, okay?"
"Mai, I've known you long enough to know that when you yell at someone, you are not fine."
He was right. He'd been like a brother to me since I was little and my parents died in the destruction of Nibelheim. Cloud's mother was also killed in that destruction. And Sephiroth had been the one to destroy it. Cloud knew me well, I wasn't very short tempered and when I yelled at someone I had a really good reason. But I wasn't sure if I should tell him about the dream or not.
"Mai, please tell me what's wrong." He said forcing me to look at him.
"I had a nightmare about…." My words drifted off.
"About?"
"About Sephiroth."
In a way, I felt bad for Sephiroth. He used to be a hero, The Great Sephiroth. He was one of SOLDIER's finest. It wasn't his fault. Nothing he did was ever really his fault. I blame his father, Professor Hojo. He used his own son as an experiment. He gave him alien cells. Sephiroth just learned the truth and hated everything. It was never really his fault.
Thinking about all this now made me feel extremely bad for him. Cloud shouldn't have killed him; he was just upset to have learned the truth. But he knew what he did was wrong and he still did it; he could have stopped himself, right? I was very confused. I was just defending him, saying he shouldn't have died now I'm saying its good he died? My thoughts were interrupted.
"Mai?"
"Huh?"
"The dream, what about Sephiroth?"
I couldn't back out now, I had to tell him everything about the dream and I did.
"Mai, it was all just a dream, I swear to you that. Sephiroth is dead." He said hugging me as comfort.
"I know, but Cloud, it all felt so real."
"That's how he always makes things feel. He is gone and he isn't coming back, okay?"
"Alright Cloud, if you say so." I said trying so hard to at least make it seem liked I believe him even a little bit.
"Everything will be okay, Mai. I promise." He said letting go and walking out of my room and closing the door behind him.
At this point I wasn't sure if I could believe Cloud or not. Could it really be possible for Sephiroth to return? Cloud had killed him. We all saw it. But then again, Sephiroth had always managed to return before. What would make now any different?
I couldn't really accept the fact that Sephiroth was truly dead, and I seemed like the only one who couldn't. Everyone seemed to believe that Sephiroth was dead. That Sephiroth wouldn't return. They had all seen Cloud kill him, even me.
But somehow, I knew he wasn't gone.
And somewhere inside me, this thought made me…
Happy…?
"Mai!" I heard a little voice scream as footsteps came closer to my door. "Mai! Where are you!"
"I'm right here Marlene, where else would I be, this is my room." I said as I leaned against the door frame and watched the little girl run towards me. "How are you?" I said picking her up and hugging her.
"Great! Daddy wanted to know if I could stay here. He said he had business to do."
"Well of course, how can I say no to you?" I said putting her down and she smiled.
"Marlene, I told you- oh, hi Mai!" I saw Denzel come up the stairs and when he saw me and Marlene he ran towards us.
"Hello, Denzel, will you be staying too?"
"Uh-huh, if that's okay with you?" he looked at me with small eyes of disappointment, thinking I would really say no to him.
"Oh course, Denzel!" I said hugging him.
I lead the kids to the room and played with them, on their request, but also hoping it would help me forget about that…
…dream?
No, nightmare…?
I wasn't sure anymore…
"Mai…"
Who was that? I recognized that voice; I just couldn't put my finger on it.
"Mai…"
Again, who was that voice?
"Mai…"
I heard the voice say my name again, but this time I saw the shadow walk towards me. Would the person let me see their face this time?
"Mai."
This time I heard the voice, and it was closer than before; the person was right behind me, speaking into my ear.
"Mai, you are the only one who knows of my return."
Return?
At that moment I knew.
Sephiroth.
I turned around, ready to face him, but he wasn't there. In the shadows, I heard the echo of his laughter carry.
Did he speak the truth? Had I been the only one to truly know that he had returned? If so, why had he picked me? Was it just to watch me slowly lose my sanity with these dreams? These dreams were starting to get to me.
Was it really the dreams? Or was it the fact that no one believed me?
"Mai, he's dead! I told you it was just a dream."
"But, Cloud-"
"Mai, enough." He said turning around. "It's just a dream. You have to let dreams be dreams. Some dreams come true, but this one won't, okay. He is dead."
"Okay, Cloud."
I walked through the market place in the slums of Midgar. I passed a store that sold just about everything a girl would want. Pins, ribbons and bows; everything.
I remembered the story Aerith had once told me.
When she was still alive.
"This is one of my favorite stores." She said pointing to the small store.
"This one? Why?"
"Because, it reminds me of him." She said raising her hand to play with the pink ribbon in her hair that she always wore.
"Did he buy you that?"
"Uh-huh." She said giggling.
"May I ask his name?"
"Hmmm… Zack."
"Zack, I like that name."
"So did I." she said with another giggle. The giggling stopped and her face became somewhat serious. "You know, Cloud reminds me of him."
"Cloud? How?"
"Well they both have the pretty blue eyes." She said with a smile.
I remembered something, the Mako blue eyes that Cloud had were a signature sign of a SOLDIER member.
"So he was a SOLDIER?"
"Uh-Huh, first class." She said still with her smile.
"Wow, like Cloud."
"Uh-huh!"
I was called away from my train of thought.
"Excuse me, Ma'am, can I help you?" said the man that owned the store.
"No thank you, I was just looking." I said and walked away.
As I was walking away something that was floating caught my eye.
A single Black Feather.
"Mai…"
Sephiroth in my dreams had become a regular thing, somehow. But it wasn't…bad. He hadn't hurt me or even try to hurt me, but he remained serious. But he looked as though something was wrong. Like something was bothering him. He looked… tortured inside. But, somehow, this encounter didn't feel like a dream. It all felt too real.
"Mai…?"
I was called from my thoughts.
"You've been quieter than usual. Speak." Said Sephiroth as he walked towards me with Masamune; this wasn't a request, it was an order.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"I said, speak." He said raising Masamune to my neck.
"I-I… uh…" I stuttered not sure of what he wanted me to say.
"Answer this: How do you manage to stay so calm around me? Are you not terrified of me like everyone else?" he said slightly moving his swords pointed end around my neck, careful not to actually slice it.
"I…well I don't know." I said lowering my head so he couldn't see my face as he had moved his sword away from my neck. "I just don't think you are as cruel as you appear to be."
"I was created during the wasted time of a scientist. I was created to be the perfect weapon; a tool. I am a monster." He said, his green cat like eyes staring into mine intently.
"You're not."
I wanted so bad to just hug him, hug him and tell him everything would be okay. But I couldn't, I wouldn't even dare. As I stared into his eyes, I saw all the pain in them. He was hurting. He really did believe that he was a monster.
He didn't want to open up. He held himself back from saying anything more. It was quiet until I spoke.
"Sephiroth, why do you believe that you are a monster?"
"I do not believe that I am; I know that I am. Do you not know all the things I have done…?" he said looking into my eyes. He didn't look mad but sad. "… All the pain I caused…" he said turning away from me.
"Sephiroth, you bring up your 'creation' knowing I do not know of it." I said walking over to him. Hesitantly, I placed my hand on his shoulder. "So tell me, how were you 'created'?"
He turned around slowly and nodded.
He opened his mouth to speak. But then closed it again, thinking where to start. He closed his eyes. He opened them soon after and nodded. Then was when I got to meet Sephiroth.
"Sephiroth, just because you were used as an experiment doesn't mean you're a monster."
"But it does, Mai. I am different from everyone else. I was born to fight; I was born to kill; I was born to be a monster."
"You weren't born to do any of that, Sephiroth! None of that is true!"
"And how would you know? You do not know the intensions those scientists had when they created me."
"You're right, I don't. But that doesn't change the fact that you know that I'm right! You were born to be human, not a monster. And if you would've tried, Sephiroth, to be 'normal', to be human, you would've been the handsomest, sweetest, kindest…" I stopped myself. I hadn't really realized what I was telling him until it was already said. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, my hair covering the deep blush that had covered my face after speaking to Sephiroth the way I had.
I felt Sephiroth's hand cup my chin bringing my face up to eye level with his.
"Open your eyes." He commanded.
I did as he said. In his green cat like eyes I saw a mix of emotions. He still had sadness in his eyes but there were hints of other emotions I didn't believe Sephiroth, of all people, could feel.
As I looked into his eyes I started to hear a ringing sound.
He opened his mouth to talk, but closed it again as he felt my body tense. He closed his mouth, thinking about something then understanding his thoughts. He let go of my chin and leaned forward so his lips were at my ear.
"You are my reason for returning. You gave me the strength to continue living, to return. You, Mai, are my reason for living, for staying here, for fighting, for returning, for being human…"
The word…
Human…
It echoed in my head.
Lingering.
It was only a dream. I cursed myself for waking up. I didn't want this to be a dream. I wish it were real.
My encounters with Sephiroth, although they were all in my dreams, all seemed so real. Was he really somewhere contacting me through my dreams? Or was this all a figment of my imagination? Was I just dreaming him up because deep down I really do wish he were here? Or because I really truly love this One Winged Angel?
"Tifa…" I said quietly as I sat at the bar and watched Tifa work.
"Yes?" she asked not turning around.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Is it about the Sephiroth dreams?" she asked putting the glass she was washing away and turning towards me.
"Tifa, they're so real-"I started but she cut me off.
"Mai, they're not real. Get over it." She said turning back to the dishes.
"Fine." I said getting up from the bar and walking towards the stairs. I stopped at the bottom. "Thanks for being a great friend." I said and walked towards my room.
I slammed my door and threw myself on my bed angrily. Why would no one believe me? I started to cry. I wanted everyone to believe me. I wasn't just crazy for saying that the dead One-Winged Angel had returned. It was true.
I smiled to myself. At the same time, I thought that it was… cute that Sephiroth only wanted ME to know. He only visited ME. I was special. I liked that I was special… to him.
My half lidded eyes slowly closed and I fell into a deep sleep.
"Sephiroth, why can I only see you in my dreams?" I asked slowly, unsure if I should have asked that question. I thought after a moment and lowered my head so he couldn't see my face.
He brought my head up and wiped away the single tear that traveled down my cheek.
"No one wants me back." He said. He lowered his head to whisper in my ear "It's better if it stays our little secret." He said a slight smirk forming on his face.
I laughed halfheartedly. I didn't want it to be a secret. I wanted to be able to touch him and feel him when I wasn't asleep. I wanted him to be real.
"I'm tired of the secret, Sephiroth." I said pushing his hand away from my face and turning my head away from him.
"Mai." He reached his hand over to touch my face, but I hit his hand away. I was angry. Why couldn't he just be real! I thought about my actions. I had hit him. I had rejected him. Would he be mad? Would he hurt me this time? Not just emotionally by leaving me, but physically?
I was scared. I got up and tried to run. I ran as fast as I could, hearing him call out my name behind me. I started crying. Running and crying was all I could do. I didn't want to see Sephiroth again. I couldn't face him.
I kept running. I tripped over my own feet and fell. I didn't want to get up now, I lied there and cried, until, I woke up.
I awoke in my bed. My pillow wet with tears. The hot tears still ran down my face. What had I done? Sephiroth will never want me now.
I cried harder. I lied in my bed, crying into the darkness.
My One- Winged Angel was Gone.
Gone forever.
After that night, Sephiroth didn't visit my dreams again for a while. All I could do was hope and wish that he would come back. And when I didn't dream of him, I cried myself to sleep.
Sephiroth stood there. His back turned to me. Did he even know I was there? I approached him being as quiet as I could be.
Hesitantly I placed my hand on his shoulder.
"Sephiroth?" I said his name quietly, questioningly.
He turned his head slightly, though not all the way, to look back. His hair covered his face as he did.
"Sephiroth I-"I started but in an instant he had me pinned against the wall, Masamune's blade at my neck.
He spoke quietly. "Do you know how many times I've thought about hurting you?" he looked at me questioningly, his expression unreadable.
I swallowed hard. I knew he hated me. He had only come back to finish what he had started. What the destruction of Nibelheim couldn't do; what Cloud wouldn't let him do: kill me.
I hated him now.
Even more, I hated myself. I hated myself for falling for someone like him.
He slightly moved the sword across my neck I think he saw the fear in my eyes, it was written all over my face, for he smirked and pressed Masamune to my neck a little more.
"I had an epiphany, Mai…"
He lowered his sword and turned away from me.
In a sigh of relief I stumbled back and grabbed my neck. I backed into a corner and I realized, for the first time in a long while I was honestly, truly frightened by the presence of Sephiroth.
"I've figured out why I really came back, Mai…" he said walking around the room. "I came back because I realized, Mai, that…" he came up and stood in front of me. "I hate you, Mai."
As soon as those words left his lips I fell to the floor and cried.
"Humans. They let emotions get to them so easily. Crying is a sign of weakness, Mai."
He was being so cold. It hurt more than if he would've just killed me.
I spoke. "I'd prefer you would just kill me, over this torture."
"You see, Mai, the problem is, I can't." he said not looking at me.
I sat there somewhat shocked as he stood there continuing on with his epiphany.
"No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to stand to see you hurt. So imagine, me trying to hurt you? It just isn't possible." He stood there and we stared at each other for a minute then he turned away again. "Then the other day when you ran away from me; when you left me, it hurt. I never thought any kind of pain could hurt as much as that did."
He was making me feel so terrible. But he had just said he hated me so why couldn't he just kill me? I spoke up. "Sephiroth-" I started.
He raised his sword to point at me. "No one told you to speak." He said plainly and lowered the sword again.
"You see, Mai, what you have failed to realize is what you do to me by just being near me. That feeling, the feeling you give me by just standing there, Mai, is why I hate you." He said with a slight laugh. "It's a feeling I never thought I of all people could feel." He said just walking around, a puzzling look on his face, like he was trying to figure something out. "I didn't understand it at first so I decided to try to rid of the horrible feeling; I decided to try to rid of you. But no matter how close I came to my goal, I always failed in the end. Can you, Mai, explain to me this feeling?" he said coming to stand in front of me now looking into my eyes. "Help me understand." Was all he said as he reached up and placed his hand on my cheek.
I didn't know what to tell him. In a weird way I think he had just confessed his love for me. But now I was confused. How could Sephiroth love me, of all people? I didn't say anything. I just stood there staring into his green cat-like eyes.
"I think I understand now." He said lowering his hand. "I think I know this feeling. Could it be, Mai, that the feeling I have is love?"
Tears formed in my eyes threatening to fall over.
He continued to speak. "I think that it just might be possible."
I was in a battle with my eyes, trying so hard from keeping the tears that bordered the edge, from falling endlessly as he continued to speak.
"Yes, Mai. I love you."
As those three words left his lips, I cried. Not tears of sadness, but of joy. I looked at his confused and slightly hurt expression through my blurry vision and laughed lightly.
Before either of us had noticed, my body had formed a mind of its own and I was standing there hugging him. But to my surprise he hugged back. I stood there crying into his chest, his hands rubbing lightly up and down my back.
I stepped back to look at his face. For the first time, I had seen Sephiroth with a truly genuine smile.
"Sephiroth, I-"I started but then I hear a ringing sound. My perfect dream world was going to collapse. I didn't want to wake up; I wanted to sleep forever if it meant I could be with Sephiroth. I stopped talking and hugged Sephiroth tighter than before. I wasn't going to let go of this dream.
"You have to wake up, Mai. You cannot sleep forever." He said prying my arms from around him.
"But when I wake up you won't be there…" I said as I hung my head and started to cry.
He brought his hand up to cup my chin and brought my head up. He wiped the tears away with his hand.
After the tears had settled he did the unexpected, he kissed me. But in the middle of this kiss, I woke up.
I awoke from this dream wishing I were still asleep. I sighed lightly know that Sephiroth would stay in my dreams.
I got up from my bed and walked over to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and realized that my face had been red and puffy from crying. I was too tired to care about anything. I walked back to my room to get more sleep.
I reached the door of the bathroom and what I saw in my room, laying on my bed, was a big surprise.
"Hello, my love."
The End
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