Self-affliction Fades
Ch 1: Secrets in the Sand

By ani

Author's Note: I don't know how this came to be, but I just sat down one night and it started pouring out of me. This is a random fic that could quite literally go anywhere within the storyline. The Insurance Girls are nowhere to be seen, neither is Wolfwood, Knives, or any other known chara. I just wanted to give Vash a few days of peace and happiness, is that too much to ask? -

If you really want/need a summary, here… Vash hears rumors of another that lives 'outside of time' and goes looking… not realizing he'll find his greatest dream come true.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vash or Sand Planet (or whatever it's called) I'm just barrowing them. Almost everyone else I made up, so they really can't complain, now can they?

The wind caressing her, running through her hair like the fingers of a lover, stroking and mussing at the same time. It was the real reason she'd torn down one of her spare drones to make her own hoverbike. Sure, she told anyone who asked that the drones covered more ground their way. They were faster than any other vehicle and she had plenty of parts to spare. Besides, with the distances she had to cover she needed something to shorten the trips. Just coming out to see her took two days to make the trip. Speed and convenience, they were always her excuses.

But there were plenty of things she didn't tell them. The smiles she kept catching told her some of the townsfolk saw right through her.

Well, not all the way through.

She was about to give into the temptation, the dunes looking too inviting, when her alarm went off. "Who is it now?" she grumbled, slowing down to about 40 iles/hr to check the vid-screen in her right armband. The screen flickered for a few seconds, then a solid black boot half buried in the sand came into view. A red clad elbow could be seen poking out of the background; a blunt round end of what she guessed was a bag about a foot away. She took control of the drone, imputing commands, as the camera zoomed in on the foot, shifting sand telling her the drone at least moved the body.

Commanding it to pull back again, she caught a glimpse of a lanky blonde man face first in the sand before she called up all the medi-scans. Letting the individual drone run its programs, she called up the map and pinpointed their location. "Well, at least I get a nice long ride," she turned to the dunes. "Stick around, I'll be back later."

The wind tickled and toyed with her as she crossed the desert, even playing a quick game of tag through the ghost town. Getting close enough for their programming to pull along the two she'd passed, she got to the man right when the drone finished all scans. She hopped off, checking the results as she approached. "Well, well, look here boys. Vash the Stampede," she smiled slightly as she knelt by his head, brushing sand out of his face, "You know, he's almost what I expected."

… Dark…

…… Cool…

.. Still….

Clean…

'The bleeding finally stopped. My hand doesn't feel bloody anymore… wait a minute,' his mind rambled, making his hands clench tight.

"Where's my left arm?"

The door suddenly slid open, all that light momentarily blinding him as he instantly sat up. A heavy weight suddenly landed between his feet on the bed. "I worked the catch out of the elbow for you. Noticed there's a short in the hand, but considering your life I figured I'd better leave it," a woman's voice said, at least giving a gender to the silhouette in the doorway.

She patiently stood there as he reattached his arm, testing it, "Hey thanks, it's even smoother than when I got it," he paused, closing his fist, "You're right… it is there. I didn't even notice it til now." With that, she turned away. "Hey wait! Tell me why you – AAHHH!!" he gave a yell as he moved to get up, "Where are my clothes?"

She chuckled slightly. "Your bag's on the other side of the bed," she said as she turned on the lights and left, the door closing behind her.

Vash turned to his right, finding his bag where she said but no signs of what he had on. His coat, his gun, his body armor were nowhere in the room. 'She must know about me, but why did she give me my arm back,' he thought checking the chamber. 'Still loaded. I wonder why?'

Pulling on his white tee and grey pants, he absently left the room expecting her to be waiting. Finding nothing but an empty hall, he looked both ways before the aroma suddenly called to his empty stomach. The warm, sticky-sweet smell pulled him to his left, down a staircase and right into the kitchen to an amazing view. "D-Donuts!"

She was standing at the counter, pouring generous amounts of glaze over a piping hot tray of glorious golden rings. Slap! He pulled his hand back; very surprised she'd caught him trying to steal one. "These are still too hot. There's a whole plate over there for you," she said, nodding at the table.

By plate, she meant pile; he'd never seen such a glorious sight. "I've died and gone to heaven!" he declared as he sat at the table, taking two donuts in each hand.

"You most certainly are not dead Vash the Stampede. But this is probably the closest you'll ever get," she said behind him as he kept shoveling them down. He paused briefly in his assault as she came and sat, placing a tall glass of milk beside his donuts. Before he could even ask, "This wreck is at least a two day ride from any of the cities around here. I don't get many visitors and my security's pretty-" she stopped as some alarm sounded.

Vash was surprised when she turned her right arm over, revealing a computer mechanism within the arm band's underside. Across the screen, a few kids were driving a car across some big dunes. She punched a few keys and the scene started zooming in before the screen cut off. Catching him snooping out of the corner of her eye, she smiled at his blush, "- as I was saying, my security's pretty tight. Alerts me to anything coming into preset range."

He washed down the donuts and said, "So that's how you found me. I was starting to wonder if anyone would," he laughed, "Falling head first into that sand dune wasn't one of my brilliant moves."

"Lucky for you my drones are programmed to report all signs of human life, alive or dead," she saw a slight flinch at that, "All I could see was your right foot and elbow and the bottom of your bag. By the time I got to where you were, the drone had run all the tests and found out who you are."

"Most people would have turned me in."

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not like most people. I have my own reasons for hiding," she stood, taking the plate for a refill. "But sometimes I wonder why you haven't turned yourself in."

Vash instantly got serious, "I thought about it a long time ago… but I've put too many in jail myself, I wouldn't survive a day now," he paused as she returned with the donuts, "Besides, I have my own reasons for moving."

She just nodded as she sat across from him this time, watching him inhale her donuts. He offered her some, getting a polite shake. "So is what the villagers say about you true, Genesis?" the silence was getting to him.

"So you asked about me," she paused, smiling, "All depends on what they told you."

He sat there, watching as she absently gathered her surprisingly silver-white hair over her shoulder, braiding it. Wondering if he should just say… "Some said you live outside of time," he waited, she didn't react, "One said you'd been coming to the town for almost eighty years, and still look the same."

She stood, pulling a green ribbon from her pocket, tying off the braid. "Yes Vash, I'm like you," was all she said, looking into his eyes before walking out the same door he came in. '… like you' sunk in as he stood, racing after her. She was at the end of the hall, waiting in an elevator car for him. He calmly stepped in, waiting as she closed the door and pushed the up button. "We're at least five stories below ground," again before he could ask.

Vash just stood in silence, not sure if he was reading her correctly. The lights suddenly flickered, all but the buttons going out. She must have felt comfortable enough now, "It's true I'm like you. My sister never made it out of the cryo-chamber. Apparently the system noticed some defect in her beforehand and didn't let her…"

She swallowed back the tears just as the elevator stopped. Vash instantly rolled back into the corner as the doors opened, Genesis just walking out. He suddenly grabbed her arm, "What are you thinking? Those things'll kill… you…" he started yelling at her, suddenly confused by her smile.

"It's not even activated," she said, pulling him out of the elevator. He absently let go as she approached the large snail-like machine set in the middle of the room, the legs disconnected and the flexible neck missing its claw-like end. Genesis wheeled a chair over to the table by the front of the 'drone' as she called them, and started assembling the parts scattered across it. He just stood in shock, watching her nimbly assemble a whole new 'head' for it. The camera wasn't much bigger than the sensor, he recognized the laser gun, but he knew it had been programmed to only use it when necessary.

Vash jumped as she stood, the head in two pieces on the table. Getting up on the table, Genesis reached for the neck, testing some connections and adding a few components. He slowly approached, offering the bottom of the head just as she turned for it. She smiled, "Thanks, but you don't have to watch me Vash."

All he could do was watch in amazement as she connected the bottom, absently handing her any other parts or tools, and finally the rest of the head, "So you've made some changes to them?"

"Yeah. Wiped out the whole 'not-registered-so-you-die' command, added some medical programming and communications to connect them with me. They alert me to anything and I tell them what to do, good or bad," Genesis replied, practically climbing onto the drone. As she connected all the wiring, he finally turned away, exploring. That's when he saw it. At first glance, it looked somewhat like a motorcycle; handlebars, the slender body that looked suspiciously like the 'body' of her drones. But instead of wheels, each end just solidly came down until about two inches above ground, suddenly jutting out, sloping down for four inches. Something pulled him to it, his hand running over its full length. "She's a beauty, isn't she?" Genesis asked, making him jump.

Vash turned to find her standing on the table, wiping her hands on her jeans. "Made it out of one of them," he mostly stated.

"Yeah. After I shut down the factory-"

His jaw suddenly dropped, "This is one of their factories!"

Genesis could only laugh at his surprise, "Of course, Dumby! Where else would I get all the parts? It's how I kept busy those first few years. I figured out all it would take and started reprogramming. But I realized they got around better and faster than I could, with or without any kind of transport. So I kept busy for a couple of months making her."

She smiled as he stood there, like she had done… would do on days she just couldn't sit still. He was itchin' to try her out, and she could not begrudge him one of the simplest pleasures she had ever found. The jangle of her keys made him turn back to her. "Go ahead, take her out for a spin," tossing them to him.

It was his turn to smile, "Only one little problem…" she was confused, "My boots."

Genesis laughed openly, looking at his very bare feet in her dirty workshop. She actually couldn't stop laughing, causing Vash to follow her to the back of the room, finding a cot and a large freight elevator. She opened a cabinet and pulled out his boots, the socks hanging out of the tops. "Sorry about that. It's not often I find an outlaw in my sand. I do what I have to to protect myself and them."

Vash only sat on the cot as he pulled on his socks and boots. Standing again he found her just staring blankly into space, "Genesis," he barely whispered, placing a caring hand on her shoulder. She suddenly jumped violently; he saw the tears in her eyes.

Smiling through her pain she said, "Go, see what she can do. I've got to finish putting this one together anyway," he was about to say something, "Go. I'll be fine. You just startled me, that's all." She walked with him back to her bike, absently showing him the controls, the homing command. "Hey, even I get lost out here sometimes," she said as she walked away.

He could only watch as she disappeared around the back of the drone, 'Yeah, you just did.'

Turning the key, he watched the hatch open as he revved the hoverbike for all its worth. The acceleration shot him out there like a bullet, the rush and excitement making him laugh out loud. After a few sharp turns and wiped out dunes, Vash finally checked the speedometer and laughed. "85 iles per hour?! How bout we kick it up some," he told the wind, daring it to catch him.

His excited yells and joyous laughter could be heard for iles; carried by the wind in it's own joy to hear him so happy. Genesis could only smile as she sat in the shade of her wreck. It felt good to know she could make him happy, make him forget all the others on that world… that did, could, and would hurt him. She pushed her own pain back as she realized he was coming, trying to wrap herself in his happiness.

She did openly laugh as he pulled up. The wind had more fun in his hair than hers. All she could do was hold her right arm up to him, watch the amusement spread across his face as he caught the reflection, "God, it looks like a bird nest, doesn't it?" still laughing, she could only nod as he joined in, trying to run his fingers through it.

Vash absently followed as she started walking, the hull of her 'home' to their left. It wasn't til then that he realized what time it was; that even tough the hull arched upwards only fifty-some feet, the shadow they were going though seemed to be an ile long. "How long was I out there?"

"Not as long as you think. You didn't wake up until about three," she smiled as he baulked, "I found you at 11:27, so it was only a three and a half hour nap, don't worry," she added as they started uphill, onto the ship itself. He was about to ask what they were doing when she suddenly sat and he realized why. The larger sun was halfway set, painting the horizon everything from a blazing red-orange to an eerie blood red that only intensified the smaller sun. Without realizing it, he sat beside Genesis and they shared the glory of the sunsset in silence.

It wasn't until the blue-black of the night sky was turning the remnants of the smaller's setting horizon into a spell-bindingly deep purple that she turned to find Vash watching her. "It's the same color as your eyes," he innocently observed. She blushed profusely as she moved to get up; he jumped up, helping her.

They started walking back down, neither realizing they were.., "So, do you mind me asking how you got this?" she said, bringing her right hand up, holding his left.

Vash was looking straight ahead, his eyes dropping as he answered, "No… my brother did it. Knives just sees humans differently than I - " she stopped him, placing her fingers across his lips.

"Its all right Vash, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she pulled away, starting down the ship.

"No," he suddenly held her hand again, "If he finds you…" he pulled her back, standing in front of her. "Knives believes that the humans should be killed because we're superior beings and they only survive by leeching off us. He doesn't understand why I keep helping them. But Rem would want me to…"

Genesis took his hand again, leading him back down, "Rem… one that found you…"

"Yeah, she was like a mother to us… me. She died when we crashed here," he answered.

They trudged on in silence, not stopping until they returned to her hoverbike. Reluctantly, she let go, turning the key and setting it at low as she walked it into the workshop. Trying to smile at the look on his face, she took his hand, "Come on, you'd probably like a bath before supper, right? I always feel like I need three after a nice ride like you had."

Vash gave her a little smile for her gesture, "It has been awhile since I had a bath."

"I noticed when I patched up your shoulder. It took a few extra minutes to clean the area," she tried to lighten the mood, "I hope you didn't mess it up with your joyride."

He suddenly grabbed his shoulder, faking a new pain, "Now that you mention it…"

Genesis started laughing, shaking her head, "Yeah right."

"No really, I think it's…" he tried not to laugh.

She just kept shaking her head as she got in the elevator, laughing as he rushed after her. Keeping up the act, he was mildly surprised as she stood in front of him, "Well, what are you waiting for Vash, a written invitation," he jumped as she reached for the bottom of his shirt, "You have to take it off so I can see if you did mess it up."

Dropping the act, he caught her hands, "No, no it's okay, I'm done now."

Genesis could only smile at his reaction, "My, my, I never thought you were so modest. The Vash the Stampede I know is something of a ladies man, he'd have no qualms about taking advantage of the situation."

"Yeah, well I'm not that man. Most of the rumors about me are completely wrong. I'm not like most people," he answered.

She smiled at hearing her own words again. Turning to him, she suddenly got lost in his eyes; all that pain, than cockiness overlying so many other emotions. She couldn't even see the happiness she heard so clearly in his laughter hours ago. She understood, realized why it was there, why he was holding on to it so tightly. He jumped slightly, seeing this in her eyes before she barely nodded. Vash closed the distance, pulling her close. The hug was so intense and so short; the lights came on and almost like a command, they were suddenly standing on opposite sides of the elevator.

As the door finally opened, he absently followed, realizing she stopped at the third door, the fourth being the one he woke up in. They both walked in, Vash just standing inside the doorway as she started the water in the tub and then started pulling things out of a nearby cabinet. Soap, towels, shampoo, a razor, and brush all neatly arranged across the countertop. "I'm not sure what you've got or what you want to do, so here's everything you'll need. Go ahead and use it even if you've got it, I need to go into town tomorrow anyway," she stood, telling him as she walked out.

He caught her hand as she tried to pass, "Thanks Genesis, I mean it."

She turned to him, he had a slight smile on, "You're welcome Vash. You're always welcome." She just stood there as his smile widened and he approached the sink, pulling off his shirt. His physical scars suddenly reminded her of her own and she rushed out, surprising him.

Keeping busy in the kitchen, Genesis checked on everything she'd already cooked, turned on the rice and sat at the table waiting. He came in some time later, towel draped around his neck, reattaching his arm, wearing just his pants. She mentally kicked herself for not putting it away before she'd gotten up to finish dinner. "Wow, this is pretty good… for a start anyway. Why are my eyes only sketched in?" Vash asked, turning the sketch pad to her.

She could only start putting the dishes on the table, not looking at him even as she finished, turning to dish the rice, "Come on Gen, why?"

Gen… no one had called her that since… "I… I can't decide… I don't know if I can get them right. You carry so many emotions in your eyes Vash. I'm not sure how to do them," she answered, turning to him with the last sentence.

She caught the surprise and, was it understanding… in his eyes as he closed it up, placing it in an empty chair as he sat in the one opposite her, his back to the door. They ate in silence, each dipping and picking from the serving dishes, neither wishing to ask the other what was running through their minds. As they finished, Genesis stood to clean up, "No, let me. It's the least I can do. Go on, take your bath, you look like you need it," he finally spoke up, trying to joke as he wiped at the grease smudge on her cheek.

The contact had more of an effect than either realized, suddenly they noticed just how close they were, how little he was wearing, how easily they could… "Gomen," she barely whispered as she slipped by, her shoulder brushing across his scarred, but finely muscled chest. Vash could only stand there in shock, wondering why as he started clearing the table. Once everything was stacked in the sink, he pulled out a chair, stopping when he found the sketch pad again.

Absently picking it up, he flipped through each page. Some girls with their dolls, a potted flower, some boys chasing each other, a black cat sleeping in a windowsill, and finally him. Vash stared at the page, at himself. He looked like he was about to smile, like he wanted to but couldn't. The sketched-in eyes caught his again and he understood what she said, he could see three or four emotions just now.

A new sound snapped him out of his scrutiny. It was barely discernable over the hum of the refrigerator, but he could tell it was coming from another room. He found himself following it, heading up the stairs and down the hall until he recognized it. He stopped in front of the room she'd put him in, realizing she had the bathroom door open and was humming some song he'd never heard. Getting lost in the song, he stood there, transfixed by the melody until she finally stepped out.

He was dumbfounded by the sight of her. The baggy jumpsuit was gone; she wore a simple pale blue cotton nightie that hugged every curve, hanging just barely below her, as he was now able to see, well defined rear. The straps were lost in the silver silky curtain her hair formed around her, loose it hung about waist length. She absently turned to him, causing an unfamiliar panic to rise in him, until he saw her. Vash almost sighed in relief, realizing her eyes were closed as she touched the controls, the bathroom door closing as she took four steps, crossing the hallway and entered that door.

He couldn't understand it. Normally, he would have been able to. Hell, he had in places a lot worse than this. It's not like he didn't want to, not like he hadn't tried, but he just couldn't. No matter what he did, he just could not sleep. He couldn't stay in bed, or even the room. Vash stepped out, surprising himself as he approached her door, "She's sleeping, I shouldn't wake her. I'm sure if I just looked around, I could find something to do. I really shouldn't." he stopped; realizing he'd opened her door.

The same pale blue glow that had encompassed his room followed along the floor, casting just enough light for him to see her clearly. Genesis was curled on her left, her back to the only chair, her hair fanned out across the pillow, taking blue highlights. The cover was clutched loosely in her left hand, pulled across her waist, a hint a skin peeking between it and that nightie.

Vash absently walked in; sitting in the chair as the door automatically closed. An unexplainable rage came to him as he turned to her now; the nightie was pooled under her, crossing just under her shoulder blades. The blanket stayed across her waist, but the anger came from her back, the jagged scars. Each started at her shoulders, hiding under her clothes, appearing again across her back and going on under the blanket. He couldn't tell what compelled him to move; wanting to know how much farther they went or his need to just cover them as he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand going for the blanket.

"No, don't," she suddenly mumbled, making him freeze, "No… no, I'll be good… please don't. Don't hurt me please," she suddenly rolled to him, still asleep, the pain so clear on her face. "No don't… stop please… NO!"

"Genesis, it's okay! You're safe Gen. Gen, come on; wake up! Gen it's okay, no one's gonna hurt you Gen! Gen!" Vash almost yelled, trying to shake her awake.

She instantly snapped awake, a little dazed and very scared until she recognized him, turning away and crying. "Just leave me alone Vash. I'll be okay," she said through her tears, adding in a mumble, "It's been so long, why is it still…"

"I can't leave you like this Genesis. What's wrong? What happened so long ago?" he said, tentatively putting his hand on her shoulder.

She shook her head into the pillow, "No Vash! I don't want to…" she jumped as he tried to turn her to him again. "Were they ever mean to you Vash? The ones that found you and your brother... did they ever hurt you?"

The realization hit him as he let go, gently rubbing her arm in reassurance. "Yeah, sometimes. They didn't like us; we were strange to them. Rem said it was because they didn't understand us, they were jealous of our technical skills." He paused, not sure if he should, "What did they do… this?" his hand hovered over her back.

"And worse…" she swallowed back the tears. "I was just a tool to them. If it wasn't fixed fast enough they… if… if I ever ran away… played with the other kids, they'd… force…"

She shook with the pain, the tears; he shook with astonishment, "You mean they… raped you."

Nodding, "Be happy you were boys… you had your Rem, Vash. For twelve years… I was…"

"What stopped it, how'd you get away?"

She tried to chuckle, "One of the drones. It wondered into town, killing whoever got in the way. It heard my screams… Evan trying to stop them… said I was registered… killed the four wh-who… I-I stopped it from shooting Evan," she got out as the tears started flowing.

"So that ghost town…" he started, she nodded, "You came out here." He could only stare.

Her sobbing got harder, snapping him back to the present. He stood and got into the bed, slipping up behind her, holding her close. "It's okay Gen, they can't hurt you anymore," he whispered in her ear as he tried to get her to relax.

She could only nod, feeling a few tears fall into her hair.