A/N: Don't ask, seriously don't ask. It's a crack fic what more explanation do you need?
Takes place between 'Duet' and 'Condemned'
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"We've had to say goodbye to a lot of friends during our time in Atlantis." Elizabeth, dressed in a dark business suit, spoke as she stood next to a small coffin on the North pier. "Today we gather to say goodbye to another friend," a collective case of the sniffles broke out among the assembled mourners. "Maxwell gave many of us the strength and will to go about our lives everyday, with out him I'm sure that many of us would not be here today. I know that I'm not alone when I say that he will be sorely missed, if there is anyone who'd like to say something…" She moved off to the side to stand next to John and Lorne.
With a timid stride Dr. Parrish took Elizabeth's place next to the coffin. "There's not much I can say except that I'm sorry, really, really sorry. I tried everything that I could think of to save Maxwell but it just wasn't enough…just wasn't good enough…." Parrish couldn't hold himself together any longer.
Dr. Biro came up to stand next to Parrish, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, "Hey nobody blames you. We know that you did everything that you could…it was just Maxwell's time to go."
"That doesn't change the fact that I should have tried harder…" Parrish broke off as grief weld inside him. Biro just gave him a comforting squeeze as she led him back to his seat where he dabbed at his eyes with the hankie Miko held out to him.
Solemnly Rodney was the next to stand up. Instantly all eyes were on him, out of everybody Rodney was taking Maxwell's death the hardest. Adjusting his tie Rodney moved over to the coffin where he reverently laid a hand on it and faced the crowed, "Maxwell," he paused as his voice broke. "Maxwell was a good friend he was a driving force to me. He was always there for me through the good and the bad…" again Rodney paused as he choked back bitter tears. Suddenly with out warning he turned on the coffin and started yelling, "WHY DAMNIT? WHY? We still need you! I put over a years worth of sweat and blood into keeping you alive and this is how you repay me!"
Quickly jumping into action John moved placing himself between the grieving scientist and the coffin. "Come on buddy…"
"Get off me I'm not through yet." He tried to shake John off while still yelling in the direction of the coffin. "Do you have any idea what your death is going to do to this city…?" Not being able to shake John, Rodney had no choice but to go along with the man as he bodily dragged Rodney away.
Standing at the back of the crowed, a slight scowl on his face, Ronon leaned over towards Teyla, "Why are they making such a big deal out of this, it's just a dead plant?"
Teyla had to bite back on the annoyed looked that threatend to surface. She had to continually remind herself that Ronon had not been present during that first year of the expedition – more specifically present during those long horrendous four months between the time the coffee supply had run out and the coffee plants brought with them through the gate had matured enough for their beans to be harvested.
"It is not just any plant, Ronon. It is a coffee plant; the last of the coffee plants that where brought through the gate when the earthlings first came here. You know how seriously these people take their coffee and without these coffee plants they will be unable to produce their own for quite some time, not until the newly planted seedlings can grow and mature enough for their beans to be harvested."
"This all still seems like a lot of effort for a stupid plant. It's not like it was an actual living person, besides the Daedalus will be here with a fresh supply in a couple of weeks."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU OVER GROWN APE?"
Teyla winced as Rodney's voice carried over the crowd, "That was not the point." She hissed towards Ronon as Rodney stormed towards them.
"Did you actually just have the nerve to call Maxwell a stupid plant?" Rodney came to a stop in front of Ronon poking the bigger man in the chest. "Let me tell you something pal if it hadn't been for Maxwell and the coffee that he produced you wouldn't even be here, none of us would be here so you'd better haul your sorry excuse of a body over to that coffin and apologize."
"Excuse me?" Ronon folded his arms as he stared Rodney down.
Rodney didn't flinch, "You heard me Caveman I said get over there and apologize to Maxwell!"
Ronon was about to respond but was stopped by John grabbing his arm. "A word of advise big guy the last thing you want to do is piss off every scientist in this city, unless of course you actually like taking ice cold showers everyday for the rest of your life and that'll just be for starters. There's no telling what they'll come up with as punishment when truly pissed."
Looking at all of the pissed glares being sent his way Ronon listened to his self-preservation instincts and started making his way towards the coffin. "I'm sorry that I called you a stupid plant. I didn't realize how valuable you were to this city." Done with his apology he turned to give Rodney a 'satisfied?' look. Watching as Rodney's annoyed scowl turned to a smug little smile Ronon promised agonizing pain for each and every Marine he could hear snickering off towards his right.