Notes. What, what is this? Actual family-love between the Hitachiin twins? Unheard of! Yeah. So, this is one of those that ends on a kind of more-bitter-than-sweet note because there's no real conclusion and their problem doesn't get solved. That's just how my mind rolls. Enjoy plz.
Bodies had never been so close, but they would never be any closer.
That was fine, though, because the doors were closed and the act was over. They were twins, brothers, hearts beating in time, the same blood running through their veins.
They were brothers.
Kaoru rested comfortably in his brother's arms and cried.
Hikaru gently caught Kaoru's tears on his fingers, but there were so, so many of them, it started to get too hard to keep up. "We promised we would always cry together," he whispered. "We would take our tears and split them in two."
Kaoru mumbled a unintelligible response---
or, rather, it would have unintelligible to untrained ears, but Hikaru could understand every word, every last syllable of it:
"I know, Hikaru, but you have no reason to cry."
"You have no reason to cry, either, so you're just hogging all of our tears. We have to share those. Tell me what's bothering you so we can clear this whole mess up."
Kaoru was crying all of their tears, so he tried to stop. He bit his lower lip and he tried to explain that he couldn't quite place what the problem was, but he knew that there was one. He went on to say, "… I thought you were going to be the one who had problems letting go, but I guess it's me." That was the problem, he'd known the whole time. Placing it had never been the issue; admitting it had.
A puzzled look swept across Hikaru's face.
"I'm the one who's not adjusting well,"
Their comfortable narcissism, their exclusive world, their lists of people they didn't need---
Kaoru said, "We're losing everything we had. And now if you made a list of people that you needed, I wouldn't be at the very top anymore."
Hikaru was silent.
"Because you've found Haruhi."
Still.
"And you'll find other girls. You'll fall in love and they'll beat me out. But you'll still be at the top of my list. How are you doing that? How are you doing so much better than me?"
"I lie," Hikaru explained simply. "But one day, I'm going to have to stop lying. We both are."
Kaoru clutched the sheets in his hands and he asked, "Can we be children again, for just one more night?"
The children made a list of who they needed and then they threw it away, because tonight they didn't need anyone. They ignored all the calls they received.
They crawled under the covers, pressed their identical hands together, and then divided up all their tears so they could cry. Bodies had never been so close, and they were right where they needed to be.
Sadness made time pass by slower, they knew, so they made that night last for an eternity.