Important
1. I don't own anything, all characters are from Hunger Games.
2. I don't own anything, not even this story :D. The real author is Paradox and I found the original on a Russian fan fiction site: /readfic/957039 . And so I read, cried and asked the author's permission to translate this into English. Which I don't own either (as in English is not my native language).
So, basically, the characters are not mine and the story is not mine. This attempt to translate a beautiful fanfiction belongs to me though :) R&R if you care!
I like sunsets in District 4. The sun comes out of the ocean and slowly moves to meet the sky. At noon it is right above one's head. I have a lot of free time so I could just sit all day long on the shore and look at the ocean, the sky, the people around. I don't do that though, since most of my time I spend around my family. My little Annie and our newborn son. A tiny crying bundle who will never see me.
Finnick Odair was a fallen hero. He became a casualty of Rebellion that brought freedom to the Districts and death to some of its participants. That is what has been announced to the Panem while Katniss Everdeen was kept in prison for killing Coin. I have seen Katniss. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked skinnier than ever. When asked about me, she speaks very quietly, gaze turned down towards the floor. She doesn't know that I am near. We have been friends, but not close enough for her to mourn me for the rest of her life. Especially, considering that she has another person to cry over. Prim.
Annie, on the contrary, knows that I am around. As she wakes up she does not get up off the bed right away, but lays down for awhile and stares at the pillow next to her. That side of the bed should have been mine. Annie carefully touches the pillowcase with her hand, running her fingertips over it. I remember that she used to hold my face in her hands so that our foreheads touched. She would close her eyes and savor those minutes, seconds, moments that we shared.
I did not love Annie right away. She crept up on me. As I watched this fragile kind girl survive the Games while keeping the light in her soul I realized that she is the most real of anyone I had ever met. I never thought that Annie has gone mad. I did not like when others talked like that about her. She simply would get lost in her thoughts remembering her time in arena and all that had happened to her. At first she had nobody to talk about that, but eventually I came into her life. She started to drift away less and began to focus more on good things in reality, to smile and to tell me funny stories. I hoped that would last forever. Beautiful Annie Cresta, pure and better than anything Capitol could have. Capitol could damage her mind, but could never corrupt her soul - neither during her Games nor during the Rebellion when Annie was moved to prison while I left to District 13. She did not like to talk about what had been done to her there, but sometimes when we sat still for awhile just enjoying each other's company, she would remember some things. Things, like being injected with some medicine and left alone in her cell. Being physically abused. Her arms and legs were scarred. I suggested to her to remove the scars so that they would not remind her of Capitol, but she refused. She said that it was important to remember one's life as long as one could.
A few times I visited District 12. I don't know what I expected to see there, I ran into Peeta Mellark though after he had been released from the hospital. I remember him how he used to be before the Rebellion when we fought in the arena. He used to be almost like Annie. Filled with kindness and light. Now he is filled with bitterness and distrust and avoids any eye contact. He does not seem to like to be around people anymore. He senses that something could trigger him and make him attack and kill somebody, so he avoids others and prefers to stay home. Doctor Aurelius helped him a lot, but Mellark has never become the same boy I met before the 75th Hunger Games. Tracker jacker venom has killed a part of him.
Some nights Annie stays up through the night and some nights she sleeps in till eleven in the morning. It all depends on our little son. If I were alive, she wouldn't have to get up every time he cries in his little crib. She is a light sleeper and tosses and turns a lot in her sleep. Perhaps Annie knows that I am around. At night, when our son is asleep, she lets go of her tears and acts as if she is looking for somebody in the room. She often asks me to forgive her for being weak because she believes that she has to be strong.
Sun comes up from the horizon and a new day comes with it. District 4 Victors Village is right on the shore. As the bright light colors the edge of the ocean, I am listening to sounds in the bedroom. The baby is sleeping so Annie can rest today. She gets up around ten and wakes up our boy. Annie is a wonderful mother. All her love - part of which she could have given to me - she gives to our son. She rarely goes into the town. Local representatives appointed by the new Panem president get her groceries. Our son is growing. At first Annie just holds him in her arms as she sits in the sand, the wind moving her hair. Then he picks out pebbles with his tiny hands and shows his mom another pretty pebble brought to the shore by the ocean. Annie teaches him to walk. She talks to him a lot, mostly about me. He is in her arms, reaching out for something as she smiles to him and tells him how much he looks like me. And what a pity it is that he will never see me.
It is strange to know that I have a child. I don't know where my body is or why I only see my wife and my son, but I don't dare to leave them for too long. I only visit other districts when I need to see somebody - Peeta, Johanna. A few times I have run into Gale, but I have not followed him. During the Rebellion we were on the same squad, but we practically don't know anything about each other. I am afraid that if I leave Annie for too long I won't be able to see her anymore.
Pretty soon my son runs along the shore feeling a strong yet warm wind on his skin. He comes home from school, drops down his backpack and hurries to the ocean. Annie was right - he does look like. As the sun bleaches his hair and it becomes lighter, I feel as if I am looking into the mirror. At his age I was reaped into the Games, survived other twenty-three kids and came out as a victor. I have given up my life to ensure that my son would never be reaped. As I revisit the moment when I have realized that I could not feel anything, I realize that my death was really stupid. A great beginning and a senseless ending. No surprise that Katniss averts her gaze when she says that I fell a horrible victim to Capitol's cruelty. Katniss and Peeta have children, too now. A little girl and a newborn boy.
Early in the evening I return to my house. Annie puts our son to sleep, cleans up the kitchen and goes to the shore to our place. It is a short distance from home and she can still see our two storey house from there. She never forgets to come here. Sometimes Annie comes to stay for awhile and to watch the sunset. I watch the sunrise and she watches the sun disappearing below the horizon almost every day. When she was pregnant she used to come here every day. Then the baby has arrived and she could not come to our place that often. Once a year they pack all the necessary things and come here together for a picnic. Long time ago Annie and me used to sit just like that at this very place. I would swim and fish and then we would fry my catch and eat it. She does not let our son go too far - she says that he is still too young, so she doesn't allow him to swim where he cannot reach the the sand or rocks on the bottom with his feet.
Annie returns home when it is dark outside. She locks the doors and windows and goes to bed. She does not fall asleep for some time. I carefully lay down next to her and study her face. She is beautiful. Many years have passed, but Annie has not changed. She still looks as gorgeous as she did on our wedding day.
"I knew you were here," Annie lifts her head and looks right into my eyes and I wonder if I am dreaming this. She smiles and studies my face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her, but now I can't even open my mouth. I lay next to Annie and simply stare at her just as I have done these past fourteen years. "I miss you so much. I feel so sad. I remember how you used to embrace me in your arms and everything seemed better," she is trying to keep her eyes open because she is afraid I will disappear. "I want you to hold our son in your arms. He looks so much like you… A couple times I have even called him Finnick. He likes to swim, too."
She smiles happily and raises her hand. She slowly moves it toward my face. There are only a few inches left as she suddenly pulls the palm of her hand back. "I am scared that you'll disappear," echoes in my head. I feel alive and want to ask Annie to touch me, but she interrupts me. "I have always felt you. You were with me all these years. Do you remember our wedding? That was the happiest day in my life. You were with me and could not take your eyes off me." Her smile is fading. Annie looks away and blinks trying to keep her tears inside. That doesn't help though and she turns back to me, tears in her eyes. "I've been missing you so much," she says and I feel her fingers on my cheek. She briefly brushes my skin, afraid to touch me again as if that would cause me to disappear.
The alarm is quietly beeping announcing a new day. Through the half open window one can see a calm surface of the ocean. We are laying like this for some time. Annie doesn't want to go to sleep. She understands that I won't disappear anywhere but still touches me very cautiously. She traces my lips and moves closer so that our foreheads touch. Just like years ago. "If I fall asleep, you'll disappear," Annie says after a few minutes. I shake my head in disagreement. All this time as she has been watching me I haven't said a word.
I know she is wrong. I have been here for fourteen years and have no intention of disappearing. This night is a gift. Or I have been long asleep deep in the ground and have dreamt up all those fourteen years. These few hours is the only time when Annie can see me, the only time I am back in my body. I have died long ago but only now do I get the chance to say a proper goodbye to my wife - to the woman who has changed me and has given me a part of her light.
She believes me so she starts falling asleep in my arms. She presses her body to mine, grasps me in her arms and closes her eyes. "Happy Birthday, Annie. I love you." I carefully touch her forehead with my lips. Half-asleep she opens her eyes, smiles and presses her body to me even more. She falls asleep in my arms.
Sunrise happens very soon. Annie wakes up but sees nobody next to her. I sit on the sand and listen to the sounds of the ocean. In several hours Annie comes outside with a basket in her hands. Our son is running after her. The are headed to our spot not seeing me as I stand a few feet away from them. They set the blankets on the sand and stay there till the evening. The are talking, eating, swimming in the ocean. As our boy falls asleep in his mother's arms, she is looking far into the distance. "We will meet each other very soon, Finnick."
I know. I watch them live a long happy life in a new world without the Games. Our son becomes so much like me and Annie. He has light golden hair and eyes like mine and a soul so much like Annie's. It must have been many years before I notice a beautiful girl on my side of the shore. It is Annie Odair in a white free flowing dress. Annie has lived a long life and died from natural causes. She has seen our grandchildren.
She comes to me and gently touches my face. We stand like that for brief seconds and then I pull her into my arms. And now my arms are holding the biggest treasure in the whole world. We have kept our promises. I don't disappear anywhere. And we have met each other very soon.