A Surprise in Every Box

A/N: Okay, I'll keep this short and sweet. I got the idea for this after seeing the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer and Jerry drop a Junior Mint in a patient getting surgery. Please R&R! ;D

Chapter 1: Fired

Ren came home from work, flopping on the couch. He sighed in frustration, tears welling up in his eyes. Stimpy heard him come in. "Joy! Ren's home!" He skipped into the living room, unaware, as usual, of Ren's cranky attitude. He took his coat and hat off for him and hung them up. "So, how was work?" He said kindly, sitting next to him, ready to listen. Ren's tears increased. "I-I-" Stimpy gasped. "Did'ja get promoted?"

"N-no-" He could hardly speak. "Did you go see the magic pizza man?"

"Mm-mm." Stimpy jumped up with great enlightenment. "I KNOW! The Candy Bracelet Fairy took you on a voyage on the MYSTICAL MAJESTY TRIP TO MEET MEAN MR. KETCHUP!"

"NO, YOU EEDIOT!" He screamed, immediately going back to his sulking look. "…I got fired." He covered his eyes with his hands and started sobbing. Stimpy thought for a second. "Oh, dear." He put his arm around Ren's back. "Aw. It's okay, Ren! You'll find another job! Don't worry. Now, what's wrong? Could they not afford to keep you? Try talking with your boss!"

"But you don't understand! Me and my four pals got high, and Pim McHaggis dared me to rub my butt on the carpet of our boss's office!"

"Ren! How could'jou drag your butt on your boss's carpet!"

"Deed I say that? I meant that they framed me!" He began crying even louder. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Ren! But won't your friends get fired too?"

"No! Jim Lemon, Pim McHaggis, Jack Hair-in-the-sun, and Bongo Sun all wanted to get fired anyway so they could create a band called the Earwigs!" (Don't be offended! I've got five Beatles posters in my room! How's that for unhealthy worship? XD) "Well, uh… look at it this way, Ren! We get to spend more time together until you get a new job!" Ren looked up for a second but then cried even louder. "Wull… you get to sleep in tomorrow!"

"YES!" He gave Stimpy a big hug. "Thanks, honey!"

"Well, dinner's waiting. C'mon, sweetheart." Ren grinned.

A/N: Sorry if you don't like this chapter, but don't worry, things'll heat up!