Hello! Hello! So for those of you who've read the original, you know it was horrendous and needed to be edited, right? So I went back through it, and decided to scrap it all and rewrite it completely. I deleted the original off of my profile, just so you know. Anywho, I really hope you enjoy the rewrite! I know I did! PLEASE NOTE: I'm in college and don't always have time to update. But I will try my hardest if people like it!
Honestly, do I have to say I don't own Star Wars? I mean, this website is called fanfiction. I could go all Sherlock and start conversing with myself on how I don't own it, and then go Moriarty and yell randomly about how I want it. Wouldn't that be funny!
Chapter 1
It had been like a black hole had appeared in Oryn Avari's very center, consuming everything until she was numb. But it was better to be numb than in shock in the heat of battle. There was no emotion, but it wasn't a peaceful kind of nothing. It was a callous, cold-blooded feeling. It had happened before, during the search for the Star Maps, when she just didn't have the heart to care at that point. At those times, Oryn had taken Canderous and HK to join her, as they wouldn't think less of her if she was ruthless.
The halls of the Leviathan seemed to ring as she, Bastila, and Carth ran for the hanger bay. Carth was furious with her for some reason that the other two refused to explain, but that didn't faze her right now. Nothing did. Not when she felt like this. Her heart having disappeared in the emptiness that was her currently. She could stomach the most gruesome sights, kill a pleading enemy, and make the most logic decisions when this happened. And though it should frighten her how little she felt, she couldn't feel fear.
At that moment Darth Malak appeared.
Then it all made sense. All the confusion, and the 'visions', the connection with Bastila, the sudden drops in personality, and why Carth was suddenly harsh. Oryn Avari wasn't real. The council had fabricated her to be loyal and angelically good. It made sense why Master Vrook was so unforgiving, and why the Dantooine Jedi Council had sent her – a 'padawan' – on a search for something so valuable. It was like something clicked in her mind; something that had been out of her reach for a time.
It wasn't like she recalled memories of ever learning anything, but the skills and Force abilities that had at one time been under her command had been restored. Malak spoke of "becoming the Master", and Oryn-Revan rolled her eyes.
"You were always too violent, Malak." Her voice was cold and emotionless, making Malak's and Bastila's eyes widen in fear. Carth had his blaster ready, but he – a simple soldier – didn't have the power to put her down. "Why do you think I was the Master? I followed the Jedi's first rule: 'there is not emotion'." And with that, she thrust out her hand and Malak was thrown back against the wall with a loud crack. He struggled up, Oryn-Revan merely standing there, not even having drawn her lightsabers, and waited. With the Force giving a boost, Malak launched himself at Oryn-Revan with an angry roar, only to be frozen right before her could strike her.
"Get to the Ebon Hawk." Oryn-Revan commanded, already striding down the hall.
"Oryn, do you- do you remember?" Bastila asked quietly, scurrying to keep up with the suddenly confident strides of their leader.
"In what way? Do I remember events? No. Do I remember lessons? Not really." She drawled.
"But- but you-" Bastila couldn't seem to form the sentence.
With a sigh, Oryn-Revan swirled around to face the nervous Jedi princess and frustrating Republic soldier. "This happens every once and a while. During these… episodes I'll call them, I can't feel. It's physically impossible to feel anger, hurt, joy, fear, or sorrow. None of it exists currently, and I can't explain why. Often when I become like this, I have Canderous and HK follow me, because they can be similar. It's not ruthless, it's not evil; I'm emotionless. That's all there is to it."
"So back on Kashyyyk, when you answered that machine's questions, were you like this then?" Carth demanded.
"Yes." Oryn-Revan looked around the halls as if something were in the air. "We ought to get moving. The Leviathan is breaking apart and will not be functioning for some time." It was almost dramatic the way she seemed to own the halls around her. Give her a cape and it would be flying behind her in an intimidating sort of way.
They were close to the Hanger bay when Oryn-Revan halted in her strides. "Oryn?" Bastila asked cautiously.
"Get to the Ebon Hawk." She demanded as she stormed passed her tow comrades.
"Where are you going?" Carth practically growled.
Looking over her shoulder, Oryn-Revan answered coldly, "Malak has broken free of my hold. He's stronger than he was before, making him a higher threat than I believed a moment ago. Get to the Ebon Hawk, and take off. Go to Korriban and wait in the hanger bay. Do not leave, not even to get supplies. Not until I arrive." And she was gone. Down the hall before they could argue. Bastila lurched to take off after her, but Carth grabbed her upper arm with a tight hold to keep her there.
"She's sacrificing herself so we can escape. Maybe if we're lucky they'll destroy each other. Now come on, let's go!" Carth dragged a furious Jedi Princess down the rest of the corridor, as she screamed at him words that he didn't think Jedi even knew. He rushed both of them onto the Hawk and made a beeline for the cockpit after locking the ramp.
"Where's Oryn?" Canderous demanded, his blaster at the ready.
Bastila was frozen in place with the amount of anger that could make a Sith cower. "Carth abandoned her!" Bastila screeched, rage shredding through her words like razors.
"He what?" Mission panicked, "He- he just-?" But there was nothing that the team could do for Oryn, as ship had taken off as fast as Carth could make it go, barely clearing out of the Leviathan before sending the Hawk into lightpeed. The rest of the crew went flying off their feet, Canderous managing to land under both women with a hard thud. Not that he minded, Oryn had specifically asked him to look out for the others before they had even been caught by the Leviathan.
It wasn't long before the rest of the crew was enquiring what had happened and where their leader was. Carth grudgingly came out of the cockpit to a rampaging Mission. Before he could register it, he was on his butt and Mission was shaking out a now throbbing hand.
"Impressive punch, kid." Canderous praised. Jolee pulled the angry twi'lek away from Carth and over to the side so he could ice and bandage her hand.
Should I even ask what that was for?" Carth growled, getting up and rubbing the left side of his face in pain.
"You slimy, double-crossing, half-witted bantha!" Mission shrieked angrily. Jolee gripped her wrist to keep her still, but said nothing. "You deserted Oryn, and you don't know why I hit you?" Her head-tails were twitching uncontrollably at this point with her frenzy.
" Why would you do that? It's not like you, Carth." Zaalbar questioned, keeping his temper with quite the amount of effort.
"Because she's a liar!" Carth shouted.
"She never lied about this!" Bastila defended, "she had no idea what we had done to her. I didn't for a moment think that any part of her old self had surfaced until she faced off Malak."
"'Old self'?" Juhani repeated.
"Oryn was Darth Revan in disguise, listening to our plans!" Carth raved.
"She's the one who made the plans most the time." Jolee muttered, rolling his eyes at Carth's ridiculous state.
"She wasn't in disguise! Her mind was beyond repair until the Jedi Council helped create a new identity for her! So she could keep living!" Bastila cried, her arms flailing like Oryn's sometimes would when she was passionate about something.
"You should have let her die!" Carth stated angrily without thinking.
"You know how dark that is, Republic? Aren't you the one preaching peace with the Jedi Princess?" Canderous couldn't pass up the opportunity to harass the back-stabbing soldier. "You're no better than all the Republic Soldiers who fell to the Sith."
That did it. Comparing him to Saul was the thing to slap Carth so hard that he nearly lost all strength in his legs. The revelation that he acted in anyway similarly to the man he had spent so long hating and chasing down, knocked the fight right out of him.
"Oryn was… Revan?" Juhani questioned, not comely comprehending it.
"Yep. The Lass just had a lot more care than before." Jolee shrugged, slowly bandaging Mission's fingers.
"You- you knew?" Mission blinked up at the old Jedi.
"Sure I knew. It just wasn't my place to say anything about it. I figured the Lass has a heart more often than not now-a-days, so I stayed out of it." Jolee finished wrapping Mission's hand and went to sit in one of the seats around the table.
"You also knew of her… 'Episodes'." Bastila questioned, wondering just how much the old Jedi knew about all of them.
"She asked me about her 'episodes', once. Asked if I could make them stop. But it's not something that can be healed. When the Council 'healed' her, they just put up a wall against anything she might remember. Now as powerful as the Jedi Council is, trauma like what the Lass has been through won't just go away. It made a crack in the wall and leaked out. Probably most of it to her subconscious, but just enough that she sometimes reverts to the personality of Revan."
"Her nightmares." Carth breathed, flashing back to the first night on Taris when he had carried the unconscious woman to an abandoned apartment as she murmured fearfully, her eyes darting under her eyelids. He woke her only to have her scream, calm down, and pass out from the pain of her injuries. It hadn't been just that night, it had been every night, and she never remembered anything from them.
"You got it, sonny. But the past is the past. We can't go back and get her now." Jolee sorrowed just a bit.
"So what? We just go on and get the next Star Map without her?" Mission asked, almost pleading that they DO, in fact, go back and get Oryn.
"I have a life debt to her. I either protect her or avenge her. And since I couldn't protect her, Malak will die or I will die trying." Big Z howled.
"She's not dead yet. Through our connection I can tell that much. But yes, we much go to Korriban and wait there. She said she would meet us there." Bastila conveyed.
"How can she meet us there? What do we do if she does not get there?" Juhani questioned.
"She was the Master at one time, and she's one hell of a fighter. She'll be there, Cat." Canderous growled. "Better set a course for Korriban, Republic. If you betray her again, I won't be lenient." And with that, he left to the starboard bunks. That signaled the end of the conversation and everyone just wondered off to do their own thing.
Carth slumped into his chair behind the controls of the Ebon Hawk, and sighed. The course to Korriban had already been set, so he had nothing but time. And unfortunately, that's where She lingered. He leaned forward with his face in his hands, as he thought about how hard she tried when she found out his son had been on Korriban. She left the ship with only HK in tow, and somehow managed to find Dustil while he was in the cantina and talked to him. She wouldn't go into detail on what had been said, but she sent HK to retrieve a nervous Carth, only to be apologized to by his son, who had apparently had blamed him for the death of his mother, and leaving them. He thanked Oryn for helping him through his thoughtless anger, and hugged her. He only shook Carth's hand, but that was a lot compared to when Oryn had explained just how much Dustil had hated him.
Dustil was waiting on Telos V for him. Dustil had said he looked forward to seeing Oryn again when they had parted ways. What would he tell his son when they were reunited again? It was just too much for Carth right now, and he just could stand it. He let the emotions fall from his eyes in drops of pure hurt. He hadn't cried since his wife died in his arms. But this seemed to hurt worse. And he didn't know why.
Well, wha'd you think? I think it's much better than before! If you wouldn't mind, a review or two help let me know this story is worth writing. I mean, Favorites and Follows do that too, but a review works much faster!