Yeah, so I just found this document on my computer and I was like "OMG! I forgot to post it!" so I know it's past Christmas and all but enjoy the delayed holiday present xD
"What's your damage, dude." asked Kenny in a sort of annoyed yet relaxed voice. He was sitting on the unsanitary gymnasium floor surrounded by stacks of Christmas cards, candy canes, decorative snowflakes and more miscellaneous holiday stuff.
Kyle looked down at him in disgust, he wanted to barf on all the decorations and due to his current mood he'd probably be willing to flush Hankey the Christmas Poo and shoot Santa, yes that is how unhappy he is. I guess you could say he just wasn't in the Christmas mood considering he is a Jew after all. No one ever lets him forget it, therefore he can't do anything fun.
Kenny stood up and started to fill the box he dropped with all the scattered items, "Well okay, don't respond. Ignore Kenny, that's not considered rude or anything." Kenny looked up at Kyle and gave him a mocking smile but the harsh and piercing stare didn't change, "Seriously, dude, chill. It's Christmas."
"I'm Jewish." Kyle muttered angrily.
Kenny rolled his eyes, "Whatever, it's Hanukah. Same thing, a holiday that gets you out of school."
"Yeah, a stupid holiday."
Kenny quirked a brow, "Is that why your pissy?"
"If you were me, you'd be just as pissed off around the holidays." Kyle crossed his arms and the two began to walk out of the gym and down the empty school halls. The only reason Kenny was staying after school was because he got a detention for drawing a nude women on a desk and his punishment was to help organize the Christmas dance. Kyle was asked to help out with the program as well, he would of refused but his mother had forced him to do all after school volunteer work, no matter what.
"You're complaining about your religion, dude, it's pathetic." Kenny chuckled and nudged the pouting redhead playfully.
"It just gives Cartman more of a reason to pick on me. 'Jew's can't step on Christmas snow!', 'Jew's can't eat Christmas cookies!', 'Jew's killed Jesus! What's next, the murder of Santa?'" Kyle whined and honestly Kenny could care shitless.
"So, who cares if you don't celebrate Christmas, you still get to celebrate Hanukah. Play in Hanukah snow, eat Hanukah cookies and don't kill Santa, simple." Kenny unlocked the storage closet and got more decorations, which he forcefully placed into Kyle's weak limbs.
As they carried the supplies back to the gym Kyle began to whine again, "Hanukah snow sounds retarded, I don't think they make Hanukah cookies and trust me I don't plan on killing Santa, I'm not a killer, asshole."
"I was just making a suggestion." Kenny piled the boxes and began to take out streamers and posters.
"Whatever, while everyone's at home hanging out with their families and opening Christmas gifts I'll be sitting depressed in some corner." Kyle let out a grunt and crossed his arms in frustration.
Kenny started climbing up a ladder and taping sparkly snowflakes to the wall, "Well Mr. Downer, will you be cutting yourself?" Kyle rolled his eyes, "Self infliction is never the answer."
"You're such an ass."
Kenny hopped down and smirked, "I'm well aware." he paused, "You should seriously stop complaining though, you have like eight fucking days of presents!"
"Yeah but all the gifts are like gay dreidels." Kenny scavenged through another box and pulled out a bunch of Christmas lights.
"You still get more than me." Kenny shrugged and trotted over to a pole and began wrapping the flickering lights that were bound to electrocute him.
"Yeah right, you get Christmas trees and cool presents." Kyle huffed again.
Kenny turned and shook his head not in disappointment but in boredom, "I don't get a tree. I wrap broken lights around a stick. I don't get any presents, my holiday's consist of my dad getting drunk off eggnog, my mom trying to suffocate him with a stocking. Usually the stocking is just an old sock-" he plugged in the lights and they sparked which caused him to jump, "Then my brother steals my one candy cane and pokes me repeatedly with it. My sister cries and I have to find her more blankets so she doesn't freeze."
"Dude, that sucks." Kyle rubbed the back of his head but honestly he wasn't all that sincere.
"It does. Though I'm lucky enough to spend the holiday with my family and if I'm lucky, I'm usually not dead"
"What?" asked Kyle confused.
Kenny shrugged and placed a Santa hat on his head, "Cartman may brag about all his gifts but he doesn't really get into the Christmas spirit, he's just a Scrooge. We get to admire the holidays." he held up a dreidel from inside one of the boxes, "No matter what holiday it is."
"I guess that's true…" there was a long silent pause, both just staring at the box of Christmas ornaments and candy canes, "Maybe I can stab Cartman with a candy cane?"
"Now that's the holiday spirit!"