I came across this old ass beginning of a JTHM story I wrote like 2 years ago, then forgot about and gave up on. I'm still gonna finish my Zim story, so don't hurt me! But I thought this would be a cool one- shot. I'm a huge JTHM fan and I NEED to post one, but I don't wanna put up a whole story about this and get bored and flamed.
This isn't about Devi, you'll see who it's about...
I was barely 18 and fresh out of high school, very fresh, I mean school had literally been out for 6 hours. I don't usually go to clubs, honestly I like ALONE better than being with someone. I can't stand this town.
But dancing? I LOVE IT.
Even the familiar, bitchy, scowling faces weren't a bother to me. I was leaving after tonight, and all those girls who ignored me, whispered terrible things about me when my back was turned, I'd never see them again, they probably would all get pregnant and married before they turned 20, either that or end up turning tricks. It was so liberating!
Oh not the turning tricks thing, I mean the fact that I'm outta here by next week.
As I went over to the side to sit out this weird, douchey song, I surveyed the room. Pretty much my whole graduating class was here- sheesh don't you have better things to do?- but then from across the room I saw him. The most beautiful boy in school- Ahhh in my opinion anyway.
He's pretty tall, though still shorter than me but being 6' tall at this age everyone is. He's very thin, has hair so black it makes it look blue, and a strange, intriguing complexion. It's as if he has some Latin in him somewhere, but he's so pale it gives him a weird, beige- like quality.
God he's beautiful though.
I remember once in the library, I was sitting in one of the rickety tables during lunch reading The Stand, when he came in and sat across from me reading The Green Mile. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other, and man did he have a nice smile... crooked, but melting... like butter on a hot waffle. We didn't talk but I kept peeking at him through the top of my book the entire time.
Seeing him here was like a kick in the ass and- CRAP I was walking towards him. Why wasn't I dressed better? All I had on was this stupid black spaghetti strapped top and raggedy hole filled muffed up jeans! And also, why the HELL do I think he'll remember me?
CRAP CRAP CRAP. No turning back now though, I tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hi." I said, trying to look casual even though I was shaking, if he didn't remember me I could run home and deal with him thinking I was some freak. Then, to my surprise his face broke into that butter melting smile.
"Hey I remember you!" My jaw dropped.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah! At the library! You had The Stand, I remember because after I finished The Green Mile I read the book you had and it was great." I scoffed.
"Damn, I'm surpised..."
"Why?"
"Oh nothing, it's just a big ass book! After lugging that around for two weeks I swear, my arms were going to fall off." he groaned.
"I KNOW. Every day I tried to read 100 pages to give it back to the library on time, I still see things fuzzy." I laughed. Then... silence.
"Soooooo... what did you come over here for?" he asked.
"Ahhh I dunnoooo... say hi or... ask you to dance.." ABORT. ABORT NOW.
"Sure, why not?"
And then as if on cue, "Everlong" started up on the speakers. My God... whoever the DJ is I think I love you... I grabbed the boy's hand and bolted to the dance floor.
"Here?" he asked, yeah we were kinda squished here.
"It's closest to the speakers!" I yelled " It feels like we're part of the song!"
"Uhhh, I'm a real shit dancer-"
"So? But as I warning, if I smack you in the face I'm sorry." he snorted and we started to dance.
"Hello, I've waited here for you, everlong."
He and I just moved where the music told us to go. Every chilling chord of the mysterious, sad, and yet furious song flowed through us, in and out of one another. He grabbed my hand and pulled me close to himself, so close I could feel his breath on my face and the...
"Come down and waste away with me. Down with me. Slow how you wanted it to be."
He wasn't warm.
"Breathe out so I can breathe you in, hold you in, and now I know you've always been."
His body was actually quite cold, and thin, every inch of him felt as if it were just bones covered by a thin layer of skin, like plastic wrap over a chicken leg- ok that's a weird analogy I'm sorry- but that's all I could think of in comparison. He was much, much thinner than I thought he'd be, disturbing images from Psychology class flew into my head of those poor, sick girls, and their grotesque bodies. Anorexia Nervosa, what a hell of a mental disorder.
Was he so cold because he was so malnourished?
"And out of your head, out of my I sang."
Suddenly he pulled me away and spun me around. My short hair whipped me gently in the face as I turned.
" If anything could ever feel this real forever, if anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you've gotta promise not to stop when I say when, she sang."
I smiled.
I don't remember the last time someone else brought me happiness... I felt like a normal girl, enjoying her first dance with a boy. I never would've thought such a simple, juvenile thing could do this to me. I thought I was beyond that.
Ha... guess not...
"I never asked your name." he suddenly said.
"Jacqueline" I said " Jacqueline Molly. But I've been called Jack since I was little." As the song ended he shook my hand.
"Hello Jack, I'm Johnny, but you can call me Nny." Huh Nny, everyone always goes by John.
We both looked around, everyone was giving us these LOOKS, like now that we've been noticed we're lepers.
"Uhhh Nny you wanna get out of here?-"
"YES." He took my hand and got us the hell outta there, sheesh rip my arm off why don't you?
When we got outside I turned to Johnny, I don't know what I was going to say, maybe crack a joke or something about those snooty bitches inside but that went out the window. Man he looked pissed, more than a normal person would be for such a small thing, his eyes were fixed on the road, his fists were clenched, and in the hot weather I shivered. He looked so evil...
"Ah-" I started.
"Why are they like that?" he asked suddenly.
"They're assholes, simple enough."
"But WHY are they like that? Are they born that way?..." I sighed. A philosophical night lies ahead. Greeeaaat...
"We can't discuss this in a nightclub parking lot, lets go to my place." I turned around and started to walk, Johnny's footsteps behind me caught up a few seconds later.
"Where are we going?" he asked, I shot him a look. I hate it when people ask me questions when I already told them the damn answer, it shows they aren't listening, but he still followed me into my tiny apartment. And when I say tiny I mean TINY, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, ferret-
Nny followed the long furry thing as it streaked across the floor with huge brown eyes, not scared but more of surprised.
"You got a rat." he said.
I ran over and picked up the love of my life.
"Lennon is his name "I said, petting him gently" And he is a ferret, remember that. I named him after John Lennon..."
Nny wandered into my room, mostly empty since pretty much everything that wasn't bolted down was shoved into my duffel bag. He sat down on the bare mattress on my floor, it was the one thing I couldn't take or sell since it smelled like dust and ferret.
"Why'd you name him Lennon?" Nny asked, taking him out of my arms gently, he lifted him up so he could look into his beady little eyes. Nny, meet Lennon, Lennon, meet Nny.
"Because, John Lennon was sublime. Do you know what sublime means?"
"Beautiful right?"
"More than that, so beautiful that it's frightening... John Lennon was so godlike in his music, while so human in his reality. He left his wife Cynthia to raise their child Julian practically on her own, he abused her, and left her for Yoko. Yet at the same time you know, he wrote songs that defined a generation, gave people hope, lightened their spirits , took them away to the clouds of heaven or the rocks of hell, and later because of his hatred for his abusive past he became THE idol for peace. He knew who he was, he knew what he had to change in himself and he did without question, he didn't care what people thought, he'd just say or do whatever he damn well pleased. He was a sublime person."
Silence. Lots of silence.
"... Where are your parents?" Nny asked in a soft voice.
"They don't live here... or at all..."
"I'm sorry" I looked down" My parents are dead too." Him too?
"How did they die?" Once again, that... SOMETHING behind his eyes flickered. Ugh, I didn't like it.
"Murdered."
"Same here." We were quiet once again, listening to the city sounds.
"Who killed them?" I looked at my hands.
"Someone they loved more than anyone else in the world."
"Is everyone like that, Jack?"
"What?"
"Is everyone so ignorant? Those people in the club, whoever killed your parents, whoever killed mine, how is it that people are so oblivious to other's feelings?"
"That's just the way things are."
"BUT WHY? WHY is EVERYONE like that?"
"Ok now YOU'RE being ignorant, how do you know EVERYONE is like that? Have you ever bothered to get out of this city?"
"It doesn't matter where you are, no matter the faces there will always be someone horrible."
"You're contradicting yourself, why are now only SOME people horrible instead of all of them like you said before?"
"Everyone I know is, everyone you know too I'm sure-"
"You're an ok guy." Nny rolled his eyes. Keep 'em coming, I can dish them out as fast as you can throw them.
"You don't know me well enough, I don't count."
"Do I seem like a bad person then?"
"Well... no, but you could be insane for all I know-"
"So could you be, batshit insane."
"Jack for all I know YOU could've killed your parents." I jumped to my feet.
"SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLE!" I screeched "YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME OR MY PARENTS! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!"
"JACK!" He sprung up after me, I could tell by his movements he was going to hold me down and explain himself, and sure enough he got a hold on my arms to pin them down to my sides. I struggled, but why was this guy so strong? HE WEIGHS LIKE 2 POUNDS! Finally I kneed him in the stomach and got a good punch to his face-
"OW!" We both screamed and doubled over in pain. I think I broke my hand I think I broke my hand I think I broke-
"I think you broke my jaw." Nny said.
"If you can talk coherently you didn't." I said through my teeth. PAIN...
After what was probably hours of just sitting with our backs to each other, not talking like 5 year olds, Nny spoke up.
"I'm sorry... that was out of line." I snorted, FINALLY you apologize...
"About 3 years late."
"Hey you're right, ok? We shouldn't make assumptions about each other."
"No, we should not." I flexed my hand, well, it hurt like a bitch but I don't think it was broken.
"Hey... Are you going to move out now that school's over?" I looked over my shoulder to see that Nny was now turned around, so I did to look him in the face.
"Eh, I dunno, whatever I guess. I like to write songs... I got a melodica." He frowned.
"What's that?"
"It's like a piano only it's tiny and handheld, and you blow into it to play it." Nny cracked a smile.
"So... instead of say, standing on a corner with a guitar or violin, you're going to be playing a keyboard- flute thingy?" I blinked.
"... YES." That was it. We both lost it.
"What about you Nny?" I asked when we calmed down and got the giggles out" What're you going to do?" For the first time tonight, he honestly looked confused. As if you spun him around, blindfolded him and dropped him off in Mexico.
"I... don't..."
"What? What's wrong?"
"Something's sort of... happening to me, as cliche as it sounds. I used to be able to deal with things much better, like those people at the club, I could've handled them. Lately... I just can't deal with the world."
"Why?"
"I don't know, it's ever since I moved into that damn house with the voices-"
"Voices?" Shit...
"Yeah... it's weird. I hear heavy things moving and thudding in the walls, it sounds like moose- which is retarded I know- but it's the only thing I can compare it to. And the voices are so damn annoying... They aren't loud, and they're fuzzy like bad reception on the radio, but ohhhh man they're there. They argue... I can never hear what they're arguing ABOUT but they're angry about something."
"Get out." I said blankly.
"I would but I just can't remember things anymore, I mean where I used to live, or my last name... my car keys- oh wait no I've always been forgetting them."
Psych class once again in my head, Paranoid Schizophrenia, delusions... voices... or worse. Maybe even a tumor...
"Are you doing well Jack?"
"Yeah, I'm good health wise... But can you hear me out one more time?" he nodded" I'm... scared for you Johnny, I have always had very strong intuition, and I feel like you're heading for a terrible fall. Not everyone is bad, not everyone makes fun of everyone else for their own sick pleasures, if everyone was then the Earth would've self destructed millions of years ago. It hasn't, which means that there is a good to the bad, a light at the end of the tunnel, a cream filling to an Oreo. The world seems like shit, but it's spinning, it sucks but it's spinning, as long as you and I can look up and see the stars it means we're still alive, because we're spinning, because of the good in life... Without it, things would be pretty much pointless dontcha think?"
Nny stared at the bright dots in the sky, picking pieces of fluff out of Lennon's fur.
"Jack."
"Yeah?"
He leaned over and kissed me.
My stomach did a weird backflip, and suddenly I was falling down a dark hole- oh no wait I'd closed my eyes. Just kidding. He smelled lovely, a mix of his own scent with the smell of ash, it surprised me a bit. He looked clean but I never imagined he would smell so intoxicating...
Intoxicating.
His arms wrapped themselves around me like vines, tight, secure, safe... my own fingers twisted in his hair as his body was suddenly glued to mine. His hands were freezing going up my sides and spine, but the heat between us kept it balanced, it was a cold fire. His tongue explored my mouth, my neck, my breasts, with every kiss and bite an electric blue flashed behind my eyes. I dragged my nails up and down so that he would arch his back and hiss in pain like an animal, I would climb on top of him and abuse that lightly tanned skin till it was black and blue. He had a hell of a nice body, thin yes, but lean, lithe...
We intertwined ourselves in between the thin blanket and mattress, a messy, awkward heap of heavy breathing and INCREDIBLE pleasure, toe clenching, heart attack causing, lip biting pleasure. The kind that just makes you wanna curl up and DIE.
When the sun came up I didn't want to let him go. Like Juliet after Romeo snuck into her room after killing... whatshisname. I don't know, I read that play like 4 years ago man.
"Don't forget me, alright?" I asked him.
"I promise I wont Jack."
"And we'll meet up again someday?"
"I promise that too." I smiled. I could see my future in his eyes, a future that while right now was impossible, could become reality when we take care of ourselves.
I pushed the one thing onto him that I knew he'd have to remember me by, my little Bub's Burger Boy. Because seriously, who gives someone a Bub's Burger Boy as a memento?
"Catch ya on the dark side of the moon Nny."
"Hey, hey Nny, I got something interesting here."
I looked up, thoroughly annoyed now how long my hair has gotten. I needed scissors stat.
"What? Your hamburger?" Reverend Meat gave me a look... well as much of a look that a plastic toy can give.
"NO, if you would get up and look at what I'm standing on, maybe you'd understand."
I got up out of the diner area of the mobile home I was living in, and moved Meat aside to see what was so damn important to distract me from my Die-Ary.
A newspaper, a fucking newspaper.
"Ever heard of READING?"
It was the obituaries section, but most of the page was written about this one person, some girl. Her face was even in COLOR, she was that important...
"Hmm." I sat down.
She sort of reminded me of Devi, black hair, green eyes, very very thin, only this girl was somewhat more attractive, she didn't have Devi's characteristic scowl, her hair was short but fell into her face, and her eyes were much bigger, too big, like an insect. Still, the way she looked in that picture was so soulful, so stoic.
Intense.
Her eyes made me uncomfortable, it was like she could see right through me. Like she knew me.
"What about her?" I asked. Meat scoffed.
"The pretty girl Nny... the one who gave me to you, remember yet?"
The pretty girl...
"She took you to her house, into her room, do you remember what you did together?"
Her name was Jacqueline, it said on the paper.
"You didn't keep your proooomiiiiiiseee..."
Her blazing green eyes, the way her hot lips felt on mine, her husky voice in a low murmur-
"Jack." I muttered.
"BINGOOOOOO! What do we have as a prize for the young boy? A trip down memory laaaaane!"
I began to read the article.
'Last night, 27 year old Jacqueline Anna Molly was found dead in the house of her twin sister Victoria, cause of death being extreme internal injuries and blood loss due to multiple stab wounds in the torso and chest. Victoria was found alive at the scene, though died later at the hospital from the same cause as well as stab wounds. It was obvious upon arrival that the two sisters had had a fight, resulting in each of their deaths, police had been called to the scene due to complaints from neighbors about a screaming and crashing from next door, suggesting domestic disturbance.
What they had stumbled upon was quite unexpected.
"It's very rare to see this kind of thing involving biological sisters, much less twins." one policeman said.
Before Victoria died, she was conscious enough to explain the reason behind the fight. She confessed to police that 11 years ago she was responsible for the gruesome murders of her own parents, had falsely pleaded insanity, and after spending only 5 years in a mental institution was released with a clean bill of health.
She says she should have known that 'Jack', as she calls her sister, would have taken matters into her own hands once she'd been released, saying that she 'knew the truth all along, but wanted to take care of me herself'.
Victoria Molly is also being investigated in connection to the string of mass murders that occurred in this town 7 years ago.
Neither Jacqueline or Victoria are succeeded by anyone.
Tears spilled down my cheeks, down my neck, onto my shirt... and I let them.
"Wanna know something else Nny? She was the one who was meant for you, not Devi. See their similarities? JACK reminded you of DEVI, that's why you liked Devi so much Johnny boy. Jack would've been the one who kept you SANE, taken care of you, maybe even marry you. IF YOU HAD JUST KEPT HER PROMISE-"
I chucked Meat out the window as far as I fucking could, yet I could still hear the last thing he said...
"You always will be a slave to something, even you can't escape your emotions, or your past. Things will always come full circle, no matter how hard you try... you can count on that."
... SPOOKEHHHH.
Well I don't own anyone but Jack. Read and review and all that crap. I got the idea from I Feel Sick when Devi found out that she killed basically her soulmate by accident as a child, so she no longer could live for social goals. I thought "Well... then Nny really WASN'T the one for her, nor she him." And with Meat talking about the "Pretty girl" who gave him to him, and what they did being in her room, I couldn't help but create a character.
And I like the name Jack for a girl.