Vixenball

by Sabin Stargem

An unknown band of thugs have begun to capture many people throughout the continent, which prompts Jiriya to use it as an opportunity to train Naruto into the ways of the shadow warrior. Unfinished, many gaps present due to writer's block.

Vixenball – Draft 3

by Sabin Stargem

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RURAL OUTSKIRTS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an plain joy for him to do what he was doing. Dodging to the left and then rolling to his right, the thrill of speeding through the woodland was something he usually did on his missions. The heavy fog of the Mist may have obscured his course, but finely toned reflexes born from countless battles and journeys had made it trivial. But not so much as to rob him the pleasures of just cutting loose and ignoring everything except the fact that he was free to do as he wished. The land jutted upwards now, and he charged on. The mist started to clear as he made his ascent, and he slowed down as he approached the edge of an sheer cliff. Not much more than five feet away from the watery abyss, he stood still.

Rain started to fall as his gaze scanned the landscape ahead of him. Below was a town near a lake, and the scene was quite picturesque. He raised his left hand and tapped the side of an device, which caused it to chirp and go into action. Numbers and letters appeared on a black-colored screen that covered his left eye, and he was satisfied. Nothing immediately threatened him, and so he turned away from the edge, seeking the nearest road that would lead to his destination. He had work to do, and subtlety was the word of the day. He needed information and resources that he didn't yet have. That would change soon enough, though.

An hour later, an aged monkey that had been eating from an nearby tree sighed to himself. "No fire or screams...I was hoping for a good show. My so-called cousins don't understand a thing about being dramatic!" He hopped down, and knuckled his way deeper into a forest. He had work to do. Namely, cleaning aunt Redhair of ticks. One would would have to wonder why a lake monkey would think some random stranger would destroy some nameless town.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~5 MONTHS LATER...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Contemplating his charge, an aging man stared at his sleeping pupil. Yet again the boy had exhausted himself completely in the name of training. It was like clockwork, but he noticed the changes that were happening: The kid's lanky form was starting to stretch and grow from the effects of puberty, with the unnecessary baby fat slipping away into muscle and sinew. All in all, the brat was probably going to be quite the lady killer! Jiriya hoped this would be the case, since there was another two years for him to be wandering with Naruto...and he needed more material. Having an teenaged heartbreaker would be an excellent subject material. After all, just how many romance novelusts get an close look at the complexities of teenager love? Chuckling a little, Jiriya turned away from Naruto, resting his head on the ground. He let go of his conciousness so that he would meet the morning beauties all that much more quicker.

Only to be awoken by an Rude Awakener, the one and only Naruto Uzimaki. It was already time to get up, and there was no beauty to be found this morning. The damnable rain of the heavens (which he attributed to an particurly pissed off goddess strikingly similar to Tsunade-sama...) had driven away almost all hope of spying upon delectable woman. Cursing his luck, Jiriya began packing his things quickly since the rain would make short work of his sleeping gear. Naruto had already done his part, and Jiriya was glad and angry at the kid for awakening him. On one hand, he was visted by the women of his dreams...but an prolonged stay would have ended in an a watery disaster.

Master and student ran for the hills, seeking the shelter of the village that they were staying at. Even as they ran, Naruto had already henged into a different person. Jiriya was training the kid to be the best ninja possible, and in one of his misplaced ideas of brilliance he had decided to make the kid infiltrate the village as a newcomer. Jiriya assigned him to discover the secrets of an famed and demanding herbalist. He did it so that Naruto would figure out how to befriend hostile strangers that have deeply hidden secrets - like the recipe of an exotic amazon aphrodesic perfume that expensive ladies of the night used. He held back a giggle at the thought, which was almost like a gagging reaction.

Frowning at ero-sennin's reaction, Naruto rushed into the village past an annoyed gate guard, fleeing with abandon into the inn that he was staying at. Jiriya continued past the inn towards one of the many hostels he tended to haunt. Glad for the seperation from his perverse master, Naruto wiped his feet on the doormat - the duo who ran the inn schooled into him a desire to wipe off his feet, else they would give him an earful and make him clean up his mess. Running into a corridor and entering the small room he had rented, Naruto was faced with a trio of people sitting on or near the bed he used. Takashi and Kakashi (unrelated to Konoha's 'White Fang') were reading an scroll, with the stranger looking down from the bed at it. Naruto pointed at the brothers with a finger, yelling "Jerk! I told you not to find my hidden things!" Takashi cheekily grinned at Naruto, replying "That is an laugh - my granny can figure you out, and she is deaf and blind!"

An cloud suddenly erupted, and an loud "TWHACK!" echoed forth. The cloud disappated, revealing an old lady and Naruto grinning at Takashi's now-bulging forehead. "You were saying...?" asked Makashi, named in the traditional style of family naming procedure. Takashi came to an realisation that the scroll he was holding was gone. "Where is it, obaa-chan?" From one of her voluminous sleeves an scroll slid into her hand. She looked at the rolled up scroll with amusement as she said "Surely you don't think I would let youngsters like you invade the privacy of Daisuke Takogawa?" she offered the scroll to 'Daisuke' as she continued on. "Still...it is odd to have an scroll called the 'Uzimaki Chronicles'." Naruto quickly attempted to cover his mistake, replying quickly "That is because someone close to me wanted to have something to remember him by."

It was convincingly done on his part, and it was also definately the truth no matter which way you sliced it. Grabbing the scroll, he stashed it down the neck of his jacket, and said "I have to go to work today, right Makashi-sama?" She nodded her head sideways, saying "No, no...actually, I sent my grandchildren here to introduce you to someone. That, and to pull a prank on them was quite invigorating for my bones." She smiled, and gestured at the girl sitting on Naruto's bed. "Say hello to Kanashi." The girl was slightly more than 20 years of age, and she wore conservative clothing. She said "Hello, my siblings told me alot about you Daisuke. They say that you are a tireless and hard worker." Naruto grinned and rubbed the back of his head, and replied "Well yeah! I have to be, with baa-chan as my boss." The old lady decided to take it as an compliment, if only because it meant that she was getting the most out of him.

Takashi and Kakashi stared at each other, their eyes darting downwards to look at each other's hands. Kakashi's had four extended, while Takashi had five. They came to an agreement, and Naruto was too busy yakking with their sister at the moment to notice. "...So when I made the kawarmi switch, the merchant and all his things dropped to the ground. They were so wet and muddy, he couldn't sell them at all. I even have pictures of what happened!" The girl softly smiled at the boy, saying "Quite the clever one, you are. Perhaps you can tell me more about you over breakfast?" Naruto was suprised, it was was very rare for people to actually invite him to such, and so he gladly accepted her inivtation. They left together, while the brothers of Kanashi snickered to themselves. Mission accomplished! Their grandmother was long gone already, though one could swear that her chortling was on the wind. The boys left together to watch over their sister and object of interest.

Elsewhere on several rooftops away, an hairy main sighed to himself as he said with disappointment "So much for Naruto - now I have to actually force him into doing his acting right." Folding up his spyglass, he left in pursuit of Naruto and the girl. After all, maybe he would get lucky and his student woul- "BUNK!" Jiriya never saw the ball thrown by a child, and haplessly fell onto a restruant stand's grill. Physical, mental, and financial pain would ensued as Jiriya was beset by an angry cook and an angry mother. Jiriya's only consolation was that her daughter was quite jiggly in a good way, despite her age. He closed his eyes, mumbling to himself "Tsunade-sama...do it again." He closed his eyes, forgetting about the fact that his hair was quite flammable despite being damp, losing himself to the shadows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RESTRUANT AT THE END OF TOWN GILLIGAN'S~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto was busy pigging out at an all-you-can-eat restruant, with girl and boys at his table. His appetite did little to shock the girl, and the boys just got sick from watching Naruto inhale the contents of their table in a way that would make any Akimichi proud. They sickly smiled to themselves, their eyes staring at Naruto. Their cousin, an seemingly shy girl worked at the restruant was the one who helped them with their plan, and they were sure that it would unfold beautifully. Between Naruto's bites and slurps, their elder sister asked Naruto "Daisuke, where do you come from? You don't look to be of this region." Halting his consumption, Naruto said "Eh...I come from Sand Country, but I was with my parents when they got killed during a bandit raid. I got passed around, because people thought I was bad luck, you see?" The boy sounded depressed, and people listening in became unhappy.

Kanashi said "I am sorry. I didn't mean to bri-" Naruto shook his head at her, saying "It's alright, because I would be the man I am today if it didn't happen. Nothing will stop me from reaching my destiny, believe it." The girl smiled at him, saying "What is your destiny?" Smiling with his usual confidence, Naruto said "To be a great leader. I will protect others from what took the lives of my parents." He resumed eating, and the Min Brothers (Min being the family name, deviating from procedure) admired Daisuke. They looked up to him, because in the time they had known him he was an reliable friend and hard worker for their grandmother. That, and he could put together some pretty neat prankster stuff. They knew from personal experience, being on the wrong end on a few.

It was time to return the favor. Raising a hand, Kakashi yelled "Ayashi!" This caught the attention of everyone at the table, and a girl's attention. She walked over with an platter, and dropped it in the center of the table as she said "Mr. Daisuke, we value our customers and present you this gift. Please accept it." Waving an hand at the lid, she smiled encouragingly at Daisuke. Examining the platter carefully, Daisuke finally reached over and lifted the lid. Underneath was an..."What is that?" It was long and pointed, looking like a giant pen. There were six colored nudges at the top of it, and there was some sort of knob at the apex of the pen. He stared curiously at it, and began flipping it around, staring at the nub of metal at the bottom, then pushing one of the notches.

An small crowd looked on as the bottom of the pen turned into a light blue, then red when Naruto pushed the red nudge. From the crowd, an old man placed his hand on Naruto's should and said "You are most fortunate, to be given such an nice chakra pen. Young man, do you know what that is?" Naruto turned his head about, eying the man and said "Ah...no. What is it?" An grin came across the old man, who began an series of exposition.

"Simply put, that is a Chakra Pen. they are used to create seals, make grafitti, create paintings, among other things. This pen consumes the chakra of whoever is holding it to create a color at the glowing end. If you push one or more of these notches at the top at the same time, you can create mixes of color." The old man demonstrated with a flourish with his own chakra pen, and slashed a line across his arm. An trail of pink was left there. He twisted the knob of the pen, then made another slash. "Look carefully at the lines, is there an difference?" The aged man said this to Naruto, who stared at the arm. It took him several seconds to realize that the second pink line was glowing brightly, in contrast to the first which was a normal hue.

Coughing a little, the old man said "You are young, just think of the possibilities." Naruto did so, and the inner prankster was happy. The Yondaime's stone(d) eyes would glow throughout the night in Konoha, the stuffy Hyuuga may very well find blessed orange as their new color of choice. Now Naruto just had to get through the next three years...plenty of time to practice with his new toy. But first..."What else can it do?" Tapping the pen against Naruto's arm, the old man started making many lines of color. "It doesn't need ink, the amount of chakra determines how long your scribbles last, and pushing in the knob would allow you to erase them. Simple enough, how about you give it a try?"

Naruto took the pen from the geezer's outstretched hand, and an plan of action was coming together. An grin slid onto his face, and he said "Will do." He ran to the front door, stopping there and turning around, he said "Thanks for the pen, thanks for the fish!" Fleeing through the door, the young generation of Mins wondered at what was to come. They went back to their meal, sure that the flamboyant boy would tell them what he did, one way or another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MOTEL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Belly full of food and drink, Naruto patted his stomech as he sat in front of an desk in his room. Staring down at the object given to him, he smiled with an look an happiness. Awash in the glow of goodwill from what was an excellent morning, he couldn't help but play with it like an child given an new toy. Indeed, for an person who lead an difficult life he cherished such things, and would continue to do so until death claimed him. "Now, to get to work on penning the great prank!" Summoning several Shadow Clones, he said "Get to work on the ideas, I will do the drawing in the mean time."

With great concentration, he began working on creating an imitation of an object that sat on his desk. It had a colorful cover, and so Naruto did the same while adding his trademark color to his own creation. He could hear his clones in the background muttering to themselves, and his prankster abilities allowed him to listen in while he worked. After all, he wasn't a great prankster for nothing! Finally done with a part of his drawing, he moved a finished page and took another. Adding far more text to this one, he still added what he perceived to be amusing imagery. Chuckling at one of the ideas brought up during the brainstorm held by the clones, he polished off the picture.

He was somewhat tired, it took him two hours to finish the simple part of his project, not to mention the amount of Chakra he had channelled throughout his attempts at drawing. Picking up sheets of blank paper, he dismissed his clones into puffs of smoke. Unaware of the mental powers of his clones, he didn't know that he could gain the memories of the clones. He still benefited, but not as much as he would when Kakashi made him aware of the Kagebunshin's ability after his journey. Relying on his prankster skills and somewhat decent memory, he wrote down a bunch of keywords and simple pictures on one page for future reference. After all, he needed some way to organize and remember what he was doing.

As an hard and dedicated worker, Naruto had quickly understood the need of recording the things he was going to do. He had many scrolls and books in his apartment in Konoha for just that purpose, more than half of them were actually manuals and the like. Heck, he even had a scroll of anatomy that he made when he created a training dummy in the likeness of Kakashi. After all, he needed to know where to attack people for the best damage. Realizing that his memories of home were distracting him from his mission, Naruto shook his head and got back to work.

Which turned out to be a bit painful. While he loved the ideas he had come up with, he wasn't used to putting together witty sentences. After an hour of this work, he was tired but went on, the payoff promising something well worth the work. As Konoha's most suprising ninja, he was used to doing hard work to catch attention. One of the oddities of life is that people expend an great deal of energy to do things most other people would find pointless, yet they do it because there was no greater calling than to feel vindicated in some way. Naruto was his own biggest fan and detractor, so he was no stranger to this dual complex.

Blushing a little, Naruto chuckled a little to himself so he could supposedly calm down. Anyone watching him at that time would have thought that was an flimsy excuse. He continued to write and plot out the course the project would take, and soon he completed the first portion of his project. The place he chose to end it was for Jiriya's sake, since Naruto couldn't spend his time to completely finish his idea, which disappointed a part of him.

"Daisuke...you are fired." Goggling his eyes, his face fell visibly as he looked defiant and angry at her, but he also had a wounded look. Makashi didn't pull her punches as she said "You are not who you say you are. An ninja, probably a missing-nin or hired to steal my secrets. I don't want you to work for me any longer, unless you tell me the truth, all of it." Naruto stared at her, then he said "Obaa-chan, it is fine to fire me, but don't ask me to lie for you!" It was convincing, she felt almost inclined to accept that she was mistaken. Yet, the experience granted by age told how she would be foolish to be so easily tricked. She toughened up, and said "My decision stands." She turned about and left, leaving behind an seething Naruto.

He was angry, but not much at her or the others. It was a good day after all, and everything that suddenly made it wrong was HIS fault alone. He directed his misgivings at himself, and suddenly he had the resolve, the desire to overcome this challenge. He returned to the room he shared with Jiriya, to report.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MOTEL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jiriya wasn't much more pleasant than Makashi, and Naruto felt doubly inadequete when confronted by the facts. "You told them you were a ninja by mentioning that you used Kawarmi, and your personality isn't evenly tempered. I would think that a born prankster would be bright enough to not flunk training so badly. If you are going to be a hokage, you must master all aspects of being a great ninja." Taking in a breath, and squatting, the Frog Sannin took up a pen and began making shapes on some of his notebook paper. An pair of stick-people formed, one with glasses and the other with pointed, wild hair with a toothy grin. "Kabuto acted like a friend of sorts, so you never expected to fight him once he dropped out of the Genin Exam. He played the part of the insecure yet experienced failure." Another figure was made, wearing heavy robes with a Kage hat. An arrow was drawn pointing from it, to an snake-tongued man. "Orochimaru fooled Sarutobi during that same exam...no, he fooled the Wind and Fire countries. He fooled his own team and village as well long before that test ever happened."

One more figure was made, and Naruto painfully realized who this one was. He muttered to himself, saying "Sasuke..." Jiriya nodded, as he said "The greatest way to hurt or to save others is to know them well, to mask your true intentions, and to act with conviction. Sarutobi hesitated when he discovered the Snake Sannin's activities. He let Orochimaru go." An feeling of anger and shock welled up in Naruto, but he bottled it up. Just a while longer, so that he could learn from Jiriya. Naruto's eyes said this all and more, so Jiriya finished up his speech. "Naruto, I am giving you much more dangerous and difficult assignment. Your identity will be changed, and lives will be at stake. You seem to learn from experience very well, and I hope you will perform well. Because people will be depending on you, in a way that fighting alone can't solve."

Naruto stared at Jiriya, saying "Hey...what do you mean by all of that?" rolling his eyes at the currently pure student of his, Jiriya said "Baka! What I mean is that you can't protect everyone who follows you if you don't understand how and why they need your help. We are going to do an unofficial A-Rank mission." Jiriya regretted saying that, because Naruto promptly forgot all about what Jiriya was trying to tell him as he yelled "GREAT! LET'S GO, ERO-SENNIN!" running towards the nearest exit, Naruto gagged when Jiriya grabbed onto the scruff of his jumpsuit. Stopping his run, Naruto was hung like a kitten in the air, yelling (mewing) indignately. It turned out that he was hopping through the nearest window, and most of the people in the street below looked upwards before Naruto was returned into the depths of his room. The commoners shrugged, there was nothing to see here.

Jiriya sighed to himself, and he knew that part of the reason why Naruto charged off was so that he didn't have to think about Sasuke. While no means a coward, an lost comrade left mental scars on Naruto that would hurt far worse than physical ones. With an serious expression he said "Naruto." At his name, the boy ceased his struggle and listened. "I have to tell you the mission first, and why we are doing it." Releasing his charge, Jiriya walked over to his pack and rifled through it, grabbing onto a pair of items. An notebook, and an map. Laying them down on a nearby bed, he gestured for Naruto to come closer. He said "Look at them, and tell me what you think." Glancing them over, Naruto began to slowly but surely apply his cunning (which Jiriya has been trying to transmute into intelligence) to this task.

The map itself was marked with pen-strokes of many colors, with names marked in green, yellow, and red. There was also symbols of various countries by each name. Recognizing that the ink was chakra based so that it could be removed (which Naruto has started to use for his pranks), he examined the colored names. They were clearly the names of people, and they were almost always near a town. Which wasn't suprising, but the names also had dates as well. There were arrows, pointing from location to location, and these were in the order of when kidnappings happened. He traced back the order of these dates and locations, ending up at some village, where the first name appeared. It was in the Wave Country.

Then he examined where the arrows went. He soon realized that most of the arrows skipped about systematically. If there were three villages in one path, an arrow will skip from the first village to the third, then doubled back to the second village. Then it would lead off to a fourth and very distant village in any given direction. He looked at where each village was, and soon came to realize that the arrows were starting to steal into the Sand and Fire countries, so he tracked it all the more carefully. The arrows finally reached Konoha to his dismay, and he recognized the name which was in green - Hinata Hyuuga, and there was an symbol of the Cloud Country by her name. He looked up sharply at Jiriya saying "What is this?"

Jiriya steadfastly stared at his student, then said "Not telling. Figure it out yourself, Brat." Naruto tried to calm down, the trained portion of himself knowing that was for his own good. Still, it didn't change the fact that he felt very angry at Jiriya for the dismissal of his feelings. It was hard, but eventually he was able to calmly take a look at the notebook which had certain details that was leading to an conclusion. He muttered under his breath, reciting what he had read. "Ink colors dictate whether the kidnapping of an person is successful, while village symbols indicate which forehead protectors are worn by an unknown ninja group. Some members are missing-nin or unknown." Looking at the lower section of the notebook, Naruto saw that there were divided columns, one saying "Unknown Group", and the other reading as "Victims". There were names under both, though the former didn't have nearly as many names. Naruto realized that there was an Bingo Book attached to the notebook, but he didn't read it.

Looking at the second page of the notebook, there was a third column reading as 'kidnapped ninjas', with an note mentioning they could be found in the Bingo Book. It grabbed Naruto as convienent, so he started flipping through the Konoha edition of the book. He wasn't very good at using it though, since his book smarts were questionable. He adapted eventually, finding his way to an entry that matched the list. He started to talk, but Jiriya put an hand on his shoulder and said "Don't talk to yourself. It is a bad habit for a ninja to pick up." Naruto was suprised, it seemed like Jiriya was almost...concerned about him. Feeling an twinge of appreciation, he went back to work.

Izuna Nihon is an girl of 12 years old, living in the village of Fishgut, Wave Country. Snickering slightly at the village's expense, Naruto saw that she was an Genin, of an three-man cell. With above average genjutsu and ninjutsu, she was weak in taijutsu. Reading more, he discovered that she possessed an active bloodline that reinforced her chakra pathways and tenketsu. It seemed that she could use the celestial gates with relative safety, and it occured to Naruto that she could be an good opponent against Hyuuga. Impressed with her bloodline, he moved onto the next ninja that was whisked away. It was actually the girl's grandfather, and he was apparantly an very old and somewhat known ninja. He was Izuna's teacher, and looking at the number of assignments completed by the geezer, Naruto realized that it wouldn't have been easy to capture them.

He read a dozen more reports, despite his patience quickly becoming exhausted. He finally dropped the bingo book onto the bed that he was sitting on. The foxy, puzzled look that took him when he was deeply thinking came over him. Frowning and tilting his head, a person would have sworn that gears were rustily turning inside his head. Off to the side was Jiriya, busily working on his other notebook, giggling every so often. His head snapped up when Naruto said "Ero-sennin, know anything about the non-ninja?" Nodding a little and putting aside his tools, the teacher said "Yeah. The most well known of them are politicians and people of power. Getting something out of his sleeve, Jiriya tossed an small notebook at Naruto. Frowning deeply at it, Naruto said "What? Another one?" Smugly grinning, Jiriya said "Just wait until you are Hokage. Your greatest enemy will be paperwork!" Grumbling to himself, Naruto mentioned something about outlawing paper.

Scanning the entries of the book, he read it with annoyance. Thinking out what he had read with commentry, Naruto worked on unravelling an connection. He read the report within his mind. "Hanson O'Brian, hails from the distant east. Owns a business that specializes in the export and import of exotic items...what is exotic? Is that some kind of bug potion?" Shelving his query aside as one of the unknowable mysteries, he got back to it. "Due to an notable success in business, Exotica Pawnshops have been inspected by the Metal Country about questionable practices. No indication of foul play is apparant, except of the possibility of an powerful empathic bloodline that assists in assessing the character of other individuals." Putting aside the booklet, Naruto resumed his foxy form of meditation, and came to an eventual conclusion.

There was an connection. Hyuuga. Nihon. O'Brian. They all shared one thing in common, and it was obvious. Extremely obvious, all the kidnapped ninjas had it. Taking up the booklet and glancing at each entry, he finally said "Bloodlines." Jiriya smiled at his student, and he said "Took you long enough. Not a bad first performance, though. Now tell me what you think about it all." Naruto tried to formulate his answer, but promptly abandoned it in favor of babbling about anything that came to mind.

"They keep trying to steal blood, you see? All the green names are people who somehow weren't captured, yellow is...something, and red definately is caught, right? The kidnappers try to fool everyone by being someone else, first prankster trick in the book! There must be a lot of them, because they took over 140 people in four months, and they have a Shikamaru. Eh...eh...wait, that also means they have a richie, too! They can find alot of people and nab them, so there must be a bunch of people that tell them things if they get money." Naruto's face fell and he said "But why? Maybe they want to take their eyes or something? Who do they work for? Orochimaru?" Snarling that last bit, Naruto imploringly stared at Jiriya, wanting to know.

"Right on most accounts, brat." Smiling at the dummy-turned-prodigy, Jiriya said "The group we are investigating is very powerful and alarming. The fact that they tried to take Hinata and almost succeeded shows just how confident and capable they are. My contacts tell me that the group was created nearly five months ago, by an very powerful warrior. There isn't much more known, except that the group purchases very large amounts of food, and that there is about forty members with an large number of contacts. They call themselves the 'Ape Brigade'. Naruto stares at Jiriya, saying "EHHhhh?...Ap...ape brigade?" Shrugging his shoulders while wearing an amused smile, Jiriya said "The leader probably has an sense of humor." Frowning, Naruto said "So...Orochimaru isn't the only sicko with an animal fetish?" Jiriya took on a stern look and nodded self-importantly. Naruto pointed at Jiriya and said "You too!" Snapping his eyes open, Jiriya grinned at Naruto and said "I AM the super pervert. No one can surpass my perversion!" Naruto was tempted to inch away from his master.

"Uhh...Jiriya, you only like women, right?" Jiriya glared daggers at his pupil, saying "I will do anything to ensure the success of Icha Icha Paradise, brat!" Naruto paled, an expression of fear on his face. Jiriya figured out the problem, and said "I have no interest in you Naruto. Just the women you meet, so grow up and try conquering them." From that moment, Naruto lost his desire to have an girlfriend during his training trip, let alone to 'conquer' a girl. Hence, Naruto's celibacy was ensured by the Super Pervert, ironically.

Returning to the real matter at hand, Jiriya said "Anyways, we are going to try pinpointing where they are keeping the bloodliners. If we find them, we will find the Ape Brigade too." Getting out yet another map, Jiriya grinned as Naruto groaned at the offending piece of paper. Jiriya asked an question of Naruto, saying "How are we going to find them? Think carefully." Naruto replayed the last ten minutes in his head, and he came to an conclusion with suprising ease. It confirmed to Jiriya that once Naruto was involved in something, he quickly caught on. "Supplies. You can't have so many people without needing alot of things." Nodding in agreement, Jiriya said "Good job. We may make an Hokage out of you yet."

Putting his various things away, Jiriya said "We are leaving for an village that has been especially hit hard by the Ape Brigade. They lost twelve of their bloodline members, and are putting together an investigation. They have money and political power over the Mizukage, so we are working with them. They are offering work for missing-nin, so we will go as missing-nin. We will have to change ourselves completely, Naru-Chan." Glancing at Jiriya while pulling on his backpack, Naruto said "huh?"

It wasn't as bad as he had thought, though he wouldn't ever tell ero-sennin that! His transformation was his first original technique revised - Sexy no Jutsu. He was proud that it could be so useful, because now he looked the part of what would have been his female counterpart, if there ever was one. Dressed in a wooly and white jumpsuit 'she' forced Jiriya to allow, he was attracting looks in this town that he was unfamiliar with. For the girls, he simply stuck out like a sore thumb, but the guys also noticed him because he was an 'exotic lamb'...ugh! He now knew how Sasuke and some girls at home felt like. Jiriya walked next to him, in the form of an suprisingly plain boy with brown hair and brown eyes. It was almost like as if he was the brother that TenTen never had.

Naru, the alias of Naruto while in this form led his 'partner' now, because Jiriya insisted on it. While excited at the prospect of being the boss, Naruto couldn't help but wonder why since this was serious business. He knew that he learned best when directly dealing with the subject matter, but he was still nervous. If he messed up, he could lose one of his precious people - though once again, Jiriya didn't need to know that. As ever, Naruto clamped down on his fears and took charge. Fear was his first great enemy, one he had conquered long ago. "Naru-Chan, Naru-Chan...I am hungry. Let's go get some dango." Looking over at 'Hanzo', Naruto said in his now lovely voice "Sure, though you better pay your half. Gama-Chan is getting thin...she needs to be filled up." For some reason, 'Hanzo' blushed to Naruto's puzzled displeasure.

They made their way to the nearest Dango shop, and bought many of them. Even though they were not Naruto's favored food, his stomech certainly didn't hold anything against them. Growling within, Naruto quickly tended to his stomech's need for food, stuffing it full into silence. Walking towards an section of town at the recommendation of the dango shop owner, in search of what would be the nerve center of the operation to seek out and apprehend the Ape Brigade. They found an apartment name that had an sign nailed to the front of the door lopsidedly. It read 'Ape Gamekeeping Embassy', with another poorly nailed sign below it saying 'jobs available - missing-nin inquire within'. Jiriya cocked an eyebrow at it, while Naruto said "Are you sure this is an good idea? I don't think you thought this through, ero-hanzo."

Marking down Naruto as a dim-witted fellow, Jiriya said "Don't worry about it, Naru-Chan. We are covered." Naruto wasn't so sure about this, but accepted what Jiriya said. Jiriya was reliable, when not involved with an woman. At least, he seemed to be. Unless he is already involved with a woman, in which cas-...Naruto's thoughts on the matter halted, with Hanzo marching into the building, pulling Naruto's hand while saying "Come on, we can't just wait around while there are people to be saved!" Totally out of character for Jiriya, but not for Hanzo it seemed. Naruto followed after Hanzo, saying "Okay kiddo, let's see what they got." It was an odd reversal of roles, minus their respective personality flaws. At least, Naruto hoped so. So long as Jiriya didn't ask Naruto to be an perverted teenager, then all would be well.

Crossing the threshold, they found an rag-tag bunch of shinobi, ninja, and authority figures strewn throughout the first room. An pool table was the centerpiece, with maps and papers laying upon it. Of course there were various billboards in the room, one having pictures with what appeared to be confirmed Ape Brigade members. It held over twenty faces, matched with names and having information cards attached to each picture. Naru said "Oh my, it seems we caught their attention Hanzo." When 'she' sensed and saw that more than a few of them were now staring at the pair with questioning and intimidating looks. Naru's 'innocent' counterpart got to work as he said "Ah...ah...well, we are here to join. Can you sirs tell us about the Ape Brigade?" Some portions of the people there were instantly disarmed, mistrusting, or in the case of women, angry.

Scrunching up his face nervously and balling up his hands, Hanzo played his role with ease, looking the part of an clueless child. But then, he was very much like an child when he wanted to be, in Naruto's opinion. It made sense in this context, and Naruto got ready to step in with his own dialogue. "Hanzo, maybe you shouldn't squirm so much." Pushing aside Hanzo, Naruto said "Hey, we got an vendetta against Ape Brigade, so we want a piece of the action. Revenge with a side of payment is an mighty fine deal, so let us join you." An man stepped forth, who was smaller than Naruto with thin features - save for puffy cheeks. He spoke, saying "Sure, child. We will take you, if you are willing to tell us a fine story." Translating the statement into Naruto-speak, it came out as "Tell us who you are, or leave." At least, Naruto was fairly sure of that.

Pressing an hand to one of her cheeks, 'Naru' said while raising his eyes skyward "Well, Hanzo lived on the border in a cottage, not far from our home villages and the fort nearby. You probably know what happened, both villages and the fort were attacked by Konoha ninjas for no apparant reason. As for me, I lost my stay at the fort since everything was messed up. Ruining a good setup is something that I can't allow, not with my comfort at stake!...well, Hanzo had the same idea, so here we are. The two of us are ready to kick those ape's bannas, if you know what I mean." Raising an eyebrow at Naru, the man smirked. "Well, good enough for me." Using the Narutoversal Translator, it came out as "We are watching you!" Once again, Naruto just had to form his own opinion about what others were saying. It was an bad habit he was picking up, and he was pretty sure that he heard some etheral voice snort at his thoughts.

The shinobi gathered around the pool table made room for the two newcomers, and the leader gestured for them to get closer. They obliged, and Naruto tried to listen as the leader got back to where he was before the interruption. It turned out that the Ape Brigade now only operated in Wave Country, which meant they wouldn't be trying to snatch Gaara or Hinata to Naruto's relief. Then the 'why' of the matter came up. "It seems like that the Ape Brigade is moving onto a new stage of their operation, and that they have decided that they can't fool us anymore about themselves being foreign ninja. This is bad for us, because that means they are starting to operate out of sight. They used to do hit and run kidnappings with some thievery and killing mixed in, but with them vanishing we can't track them so easily." The leader moved on.

"We know for sure that they have a home base in Wave Country, but we don't know where. Which is why we are going to be sending teams of ninja throughout Wave Country to search, and we have the Daimyo's blessing...for what that is worth." Someone impolitely snorted at the weak leader of Wave Country, the leader rolled his eyes in response. "An mid-sized staff will stay here to coordinate operations, so send your messages to here if you got information or need something. Make it worth our time. We will be distributing passes and an small amount of money, you will get your salary in two months if you return. Informants and bounty hunters will get bonuses according to what they discover, naturally. Aside from that, we need to have teams of at least four ninja in each group, because Ape Brigade operations tend to field an suprisingly high number of ninjas."

"5 to 7 ninjas is what is usually employed by them in any given operation, sometimes accompanied by the leader of the group. From what we can tell, he is an B-Ranked threat." Pointing to an number of pictures that were enlarged on a billboard, he said "These seem to be the higher-level members of the group, and the one is the center is definately the big man. Observe his spiky and thick black hair, the pudgy, bearded face with an expression of nonchalance...he is the ringleader for reasons unknown to me. What is known is that he is definately fast and powerful. He has been reported to not use Ninjutsu, or Genjutsu." Looking carefully at the picture, Naruto couldn't come to any conclusion. He has never seen anyone who was a leader that looked like this man. Heck, it was rare to see anyone in the Ninja countries that had his looks, aside from Kiba or Jiriya. He returned to listening to the leader, due to a note of warning.

"If you see him...tail him. We want to save the people he has captured, if they are still alive. Much of our funding comes from citizens that want their precious people back. Try to capture members of Ape Brigade, and find their headquarters. That is all on that topic. We are now going to divide up our ninjas, according to the routes they will travel over the next two months throughout Wave Country. We will tell each team in secret what route they are taking, so now we will be creating teams by lottery and request. Those who wish to be partnered with certain people should apply to one of the twenty teams." An list of teams was shown, some of them already having names from the last few days of registrations. Looking over the list with critical eyes, Naruto and Jiriya tried to come to an decision. Well, mostly Jiriya because Naruto didn't have a clue who these people were.

By stroke of fate or chance, there was an small exception. Kanashi Min was one of the names that were already on a team with another two slots free. Naruto proceeded to prod Hanzo about it in an manner he wasn't used to. "Hanzo, it seems like Kanashi is an ninja. Maybe we can join her, seeing how we have gotten to know her..." Something tugged at Naruto's prankstertude and he tacked on a last bit to his sentence. "...intimately, Hanzo-kun?" Using the powers of the awesome Sexy-no-Jutsu, Hanzo was rendered into a mallable putty of a boy-man. Having the grace to just blush cutely and not much else, Jiriya said "I also look forward to meeting her privately, nee-chan." It was an reversal, though it didn't put off Naruto much. Other ninja in the room muttered about the pair, and written them off as oversexed academy rejects.

Which worked perfectly towards instantly creating social barriers between the 'experienced' ninja from these supposed newcomers. Without being treated as decent allies or noteworthy threats, the pair were not under scrutiny from most of them. Jiriya applauded at the first major performance between himself and his student, though he knew it was mostly accidental on the kid's part. He would have to point it all out to him later. Signing their names under the prestablished team of their choice, they soon were wandering the room, reading the various factoids that have trickled down to the ninja masses. Naruto couldn't figure out if the guys running the Ape Brigade were geniuses or idiots. Some of their movements were ridiciously obvious, yet the leads that these openings created lead to nothing but trouble.

In one case, an large number of villages were attacked in quick succession with supplies and people being spirited away, with an single village not being bothered in the least, at the coast. Ninjas took notice of it and investigated, only to be attacked and killed. More ninjas arrived, only to find nothing but dead comrades and reports from civilians that the people who boasted about being part of the Ape Brigade were extremely obvious before the slaughter began with an dozen other ninjas attacking the investigators from behind - then afterwards vanished like they never were there. It was something that set off Naruto's prankster sense, though he couldn't quite understand it. Mulling it over, an still Naruto held a glazing stare at one of the random posters, stock still. Coming to no decisive conclusion except for "ask Jiriya", Naruto was soon moved on, making his way towards his teacher and partner. Tugging on a sleeve while spouting off the typical fangirl ravings that he had heard over the years, Naruto left the building with Jiriya.

It wasn't long before they shared a room together, with Jiriya yet again grading his student. "Naru, concerning your homework...I am afraid you failed sensei-san again." Catching onto what Jiriya was doing, Naruto replied with annoyance "So? He never taught us anything, right? Those lessons of his are stupid, especially the ones about subtlety. Who needs it...after all, beauty is power, and I got the beauty!" Jiriya's expression was dismayed, and he replied "But Naru...beauty fades with time, so wouldn't it mean that you would be an old and weak lady?" Crossing his arms across his augmented chest for effect, Naruto said "Then I guess you will be worse off, then. Just look at yourself sometime - before you know it, you will be an wrinkly undersized geezer." Handing his protege a notebook, Jiriya said "Maybe, but teacher says I am stronger than you, so that must be true." Twitching a certain finger near a dog-earred page, Jiriya finished the hand-off.

Taking a look at it, Naruto said "...Nuts. He is harsh, I only got an C+." There were many things that Jiriya had written down about Naruto's performance, and it wasn't good news to Naruto. There were bullet-points that explained where and why Naruto went wrong. On one hand for Naruto he was lucky that Jiriya was telling him, since his teacher usually just left him to his own devices. The other paw however was that this mission was for real, which is why Naruto got answers at all. Choking a little at the third entry, Naruto began scribbling in the margin of the page, creating an reply.

1: Don't use a technique that would reveal your abilities, especially an conspicious one. Being in two places at once can attract unwanted attention. Using the Kage Bunshin to register at the inn while going to AGE HQ at the same time could have tipped off someone.

Naru - Understood

2: Saying you know someone while in a disguise that a person won't recognize is asking for trouble. HINT - There is a way to fix this, bonus points for good answer

Naru - Um...reveal our true identitys to our partners, or meet them in our disguises to create an relationship before they know that we knew them already?

3: Please, in the name of the gods relearn your fangirl techniques. Even teacher can stomach only so much of it. Just who did you learn it from anyways, an crazed stalker?

Naru - Speak for yourself, chibi-pervert!

Tossing it back at Jiriya, Naruto stared at his teacher in anticipation. "Well? I don't think he can say no to that." Jiriya wore an serious expression, then finally said "It seems so. He definately will praise you for your second answer. Your first and third answers are lacking though. C-Rank quality, I think. I wish you didn't abuse your teacher's trust, Naru-Chan. He had higher hopes for you." Groaning in anger, Naruto replied "Shows what you know, teacher's pet. You know how messed up his priorities are!" At this point in the conversation, Jiriya tried to prevent Naruto from taking an leap into an rather obvious pitfall. "Naru, you know he might be listening on us right now..." It sent a clear message to Naruto, who realized that talking about his teacher's traits wasn't a good idea in strange territory. To his teacher however, it served a second purpose - anyone who listened in might think that there might be another ninja watching over them.

You never could be too sure where ninjas are concerned. Basically having Naru(to) leave, Jiriya was left to his own devices...to his discontent. Just WHY did he pick an non-perverted persona? Oh yeah, Naruto. Asking Naruto to be some combination of arrogance, girl, and possibly related to Anko was stupid of him. Never make deals with an blond (s)he-fox, it never helps. No matter how enticing she may look, especially if you know you won't get any action since she is actually an underage boy. Restraining an cry to the heavens with Naruto's name, he was now an lonely boy of an man. Anyone watching would have assumed he was mourning the death of an loving family or village, not the loss of unrestrained sexual adventures within the redlight district.

Elsewhere, Naruto was muttering to himself, restraining his own cry of vengence against his teacher. He loved missions, but being undercover meant he couldn't train much, if at all. Most people couldn't train as hard as him, and showing off his Rasengan or the new version he was making would set off more alarms than Sasuke in a girl's dorm. On the upside, he loved playing pretend. It appealed to his prankster senses, playing an role to fool other people, despite the seriousness of it all. Of course, he would never tell anyone because they would make fun of him. Especially Kiba or Ino. Biting his petite-looking lip, Naruto decided to never let Ino get into his mind, she would die of laughter at his apparant non-manliness when it came to certain things. Like actually enjoying being a girl.

An love of exploring anything and everything around was what compelled him to see the world through different lenses by being someone else. That, and sometimes he could buy ramen at cheap prices by going as an girl to the right food stall. It was one of those perks girls apparantly had, and he appreciated the implications fully. It meant that by changing his identity, be it an old man or an little girl he could change how other people saw him. Especially if he adopted new personalities. He could bewilder or calm others just by having the right looks and personality combined. An tool for a ninja, prankster, or someone who just wanted to meet people. As Naruto, he couldn't make many friends because people couldn't understand him.

He was genuinely hyper-active, cheerful, confident, and stubborn by nature. Yet others wished to distance themselves from him, because they followed their parent's lead - to reject him and forge him into an outcast because he simply didn't seem like them for one reason or another. This wouldn't have changed the fact that he was human, and like any other human he would feel miserable if others rejected him daily. The desire to be someone else, even for a short while was something universal to the lonely. Fitting in, identifying with others would never happen for him since he was an outcast from the beginning. Jiriya was the best thing to happen to him in a long while, because he now had the knowledge and skills needed to become an person who could talk to others. It was wonderful, because he now knew how an person felt if others accepted that person.

This isn't to say that he was going to abandon his true personality. No, that would be giving up. It simply made his desire and will to gain the respect of Konoha even greater than it was before. To do so would be almost an ultimate victory for him. Nothing less than success or death in the attempt would satisfy him. The way it should be - life has bothered him numerous times, but when he won at it's own game he always felt proud of himself. It was an exchange of blood, tears, and lots of undercooked ramen in the search of happiness. Speaking of happiness, he saw two things that made him happy - An ramen stall containing one Kanashi Min. He almost made an jerking start towards her, but stopped. He started thinking about about how to deal with her.

Realizing that standing still in the middle of the road was obnoxious and suspicious, he moved once again towards his friend. Some part of him mused on the situation, almost thinking it to be too good to be true. Ramen and friends combined are a godsend for him. Taking a seat next to Kanashi, Naruto wore an face that he figured would attract her interest. An item in his palm, Naruto offered it to Kanashi as he said "Hey, care to get together again nee-chan?" Glancing at the outstretched hand, Kanashi recognized the item immediately: the gift from her brothers to Daisuke. Being an trained shinobi herself, she deduced what was going on almost instantly. Smiling at her younger and impressively disguised counterpart, she said "Yes, but I have already ordered an meal. Please join me." Her heart was endeared by the sight of loving appreciation Daisuke had of ramen. While strange, it was rare to find someone who could be so happy at the thought of food.

An heavy Gama-chan was soon emptied, to the bittersweet affair Naruto had with his beloved ramen. Oh yes, he loved ramen, but he also liked having stuff. As always, love won out. Ordering up a large meal that DIDN'T consist of solely ramen, an part of Naruto was depressed at the fact that the Bingo Books of several villages identified his love of ramen as an defining trait of his. Along with blessed orange. Obviously, that ruled out five bowls of the stand's offering of Orange Mushroom Ramen. Let alone his jumpsuit. Thankfully, he managed to get Jiriya to accept that by turning inside-out his suit, he could change the color scheme to white, albleit an rather wooly appearance.

Grimacing slightly, Naruto turned his frown upside down as he plunged into eating through a bowl of the forementioned Orange Mushroom Ramen. As he sipped and swallowed the broth of his ramen, he said "I didn't know you were an ninja Kanashi...is that how granny figured out I was one?" It was something that bothered him, he was dying to know the truth of the matter. The girl nodded, replying "Yes. Bunshins and Kawarmi are the foundation of the shinobi art, so is it not suprising that my grandmother would be familiar with our skills?" Shaking his head in agreement, Naruto said "No, not at all." Several seconds passed, and finally Naruto came up with a topic of discussion.

"Um...I noticed you are part of the Ape Brigade operation. Why are you taking missions so far away from home?" It was very true, but Naruto was satisfied by Kanashi's explaination: "I don't live there, because I travel with my partner throughout the elemental countries. We want to pick out a good and permenant employer, but we want to first see what they offer." Interested, Naruto asked "But...what could you want? Doesn't villages like Konoha or Suna have nice stuff?" Filing away the two villages Daisuke mentioned, Kanashi said "There is a lot of important things an missing-nin would have to think about...wages, rights, tools, people, land, and idealogy. Some villages detest ninjas with bloodlines, others specialize in specific jutsu or tools."

She continued on. "As ninjas, I and my partner want to be secure. Most villages don't readily accept missing-nin, or only take certain kinds of ninja. Konoha favors people with bloodlines, while ignoring most other possible ninja, while Suna takes on specialists eagerly." The girl's shinobi teahouse training told her a lot about Daisuke's feelings. The way of how his cheeks would puff up or clench, the rate of breathing, changes in skin tone in fits of blushing or anger, and his hands movement. The kid was annoyed when she said something mean about Konoha, but it was clear that he was interested in how Suna was different from that place. These were minute differences that soon passed as his mind worked through an rational response. "Why not take in everyone?" Curiosity had won out, and Kanashi could emphasize with that.

Grinning at him to help him feel more comfortable, Kanashi said "To start with, not everyone is equal. Each ninja has different abilities, but more importantly have different requirements in order to be content in a village. An village that couldn't support a gluttonous ninja would only strain itself and make that ninja angry, while another village with a strong industry could easily give supplies to a tool-using ninja. All villages have limited resources, so they must choose their ninja and dole out their reserves carefully. If they don't, an smarter village would destroy the weaker village and take what they have. There used to be hundreds of small villages, but now we don't have so many because they have all been gobbled up."

It was an enlightening lesson for Naruto. Not many people of Konoha would have been willing to talk to him without badgering, let alone about how their village fitted into the big picture. Sensing a good chance to learn about how ninja villages exist, Naruto asked "Why do villages fight instead of sharing?" Kanashi felt this was both a smart and stupid question. After all, most people didn't bother to ask the most simple questions that formed everything else. She replied "Fear. People don't trust other people very easily, not even their kin. Because of this lack of trust, how can people expect anyone else to use resources better? It is a vicious circle." She wrapped her tongue around a piece of dango and slurped it up before she expanded upon what she was saying. "Yet...despite this mistrust, people bond and work together. Alone, they are far too weak to succeed. Which is why villages exist - so ninjas don't have to be alone. Can you see why my partner and I want to join a village?"

Nodding away in response, Naruto asked "No one trusts a person who is alone." Kanashi put down her cleansed dango stick, and calmly said "That is the way of things. Speaking of things, why are you here?" Daisuke replied "Training. We are supposed to join the AGE Investigation so me and Hanzo could become better ninja. I noticed you are part of it too." Naruto's eyes and expression as (s)he glanced over at Kanashi told her plenty of things. Hope and a certain comfort was present, and she wasn't the sort of person to rob another of their desires...mostly. "Indeed. Our team has only two members, so we can take on another two if you are willing." Naruto grinned and said "Already on it." Grimacing and sighing a little, Kanashi said "That is rude. Ask before, not after the fact." Naruto couldn't help but feel a bit ashamed, which didn't happen often to him. Only Iruka and a select few other people could do this.

Recovering all too quickly, Naruto picked up his ramen bowl and began sipping the dregs that remained, feeling content. Putting it down with a smile on his face, he said "Ah...nothing like a good bowl of ramen!" Narrowing his female-looking eyes, he said to Kanashi "Hey, I don't know your partner, and you don't know mine. How about we meet up?" Plans were made, and greetings were left, two ninjas went their way. While neither of them wouldn't have minded talking to each other a bit more, they had work to do. So it was that Naruto returned to his motel room.

As for Kanashi...she had shinobi business to do. Collecting information was important for her assignments, and where better than in a city filled with bingo books and ninja of all stripes? She needed to collect her partner first, though. Walking through the streets, she soon reached a part of the village that was under construction. With the construction of an large bridge within the last few years, the villages in Wave Country have gained an economical healthiness that was lacking for a long time. Now exposed to a glut of money, Wave Country's many hamlets and villages were expanding into towns. Maybe even cities. However, this meant that construction workers had to toil in dangerous conditions, seeing how lethal power tools or various hazardous materials were. Perfect for Tokio, Kanashi's partner in crimes.

It was a while before she came upon Tokio, who had several ninja around her. None brandished weapons, rather they were asking her things like "Would you join my group? We could really use someone of your skill." or "Come on, we can pay you a lot." Tokio was expressionless, but her eyes showed that she was ready to dole out her own brand of punishment upon the ninja. She didn't like being crowded like this by trained killers, so it was a relief to see her partner walking towards the ring of idiots surrounding her. Sitting on an uninstalled culvert, Tokio got up and jumped over the crowd and with a light step in front of her friend. "Hey Kanashi, you already picked our group?" Hope was in Tokio's eyes, just asking for a reason why she wasn't available for hire anymore.

Glad to oblige Tokio, Kanashi said "Yes. Our counterparts will meet us at Hikaru Motel." Lightly grabbing Tokio's hand, Kanashi continued. "We don't want to keep the two of them waiting." Many of the ninja disappointed, they just lost a medic-nin to some nobodies in their opinion. They broke up, scattering throughout the streets of the village. After a few minutes of walking and passive surveillence, Kanashi said "We are going to the Nobunga motel, Tokio." Figuring out the reasons why, Tokio smiled as she replied "So why did you pick that team, whoever they are?" Kanashi returned with an answer. "I already met Daisuke several weeks ago. An strong and dedicated ninja, but foolish in matters of higher thought. He should serve as an perfect bodyguard as we tour Wave Country."

Tokio said with a frown "What about his partner? It is possible that person would be smarter than the average nin." Shaking her head in response, Kanashi agreed. "That is true, but better to have at least one person who isn't so bright." It made sense to Tokio, so the matter was settled. Now came the bigger issue - dealing with Daisuke's partner, whoever that was. After all, most ninjas don't trust people easily, even if they have dim-witted partners like Daisuke. Most smart ninjas try to pair up with ninjas that are strong but loyal, and Daisuke seemed to fit the bill. All seemed to be as it should be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NOBUNGA HOTEL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing was as it should be. Tokio grimaced as she stared at little Hanzo, who seemed to be...drooling as he stared in return at her. Gripping onto Kanashi's shoulder tightly, she hissed in her partner's ear "What were you thinking?" before forcing her idiot partner front and center of Hanzo's view. Chuckling a little to herself, Tokio decided to let Kanashi handle the mess she put them in. As for Kanashi, she felt ill at ease while staring at the little brat. He was nothing like Daisuke as an face that was supposed to be innocent and carefree had morphed into something perversely demonic. A fist descended upon Hanzo's head, as the jarringly loud voice of Daisuke echoed. "Ero-baka!"

Gathering his mind together and getting up from his sudden meeting with the floorboards, Jiriya got up as he cutely glared at Naruto, as he spoke in his childish voice. "Eh, I was just looking at them. They are really good. Honest!" The dull expression of all others present quickly sapped away at little Hanzo's demeanor, who quickly took on an sulking slouch. "Geez. What is wrong with wanting those pretty hair clips?" Turning to look at the pair of kunoichi, Daisuke found this to be true. Both girls were wearing a number of hair and bobby pins, which in itself wouldn't have been sufficient to impress Naruto. Yet, there was one thing that did. "Beautiful". The girls looked to him and found Daisuke mesmerised, with magnificently blue eyes shining bright. This would have made most men and women swoon, if it weren't for the the fact that Naru drooled. A lot.

Orange was Naruto's most favorite color in the world, and the hair clips that the girls wore did justice to the ideals that made up the color. Clarity, in that it was bright but wasn't easily done away by the darkest nor lightest members of the spectrum. Honesty, it didn't hide itself from view like blind white light or deafening darkness. Youth, much like the leg and arm warmers that the Green Beasts of Konoha wore. Charity, a jumpsuit given to him by a stranger. Companionship, that the hosts of Ichiraku Ramen had freely given, alongside bowls of Orange Mushroom Ramen.

In this way, Naruto quickly became enmeshed in his great love for orange. This made Hanzo cringe, both as a teacher and as a person associated with a Sexy-No-Jutsu Naruto. In short, Naruto was predictable when exposed to one of three things: Ramen, Orange, and Love. Unfortunately, Naruto wasn't ready to appreciate the world of love that was contained in the sacred pages of Icha Icha Paradise, so the other two motivations that driven Naruto were the tools to work with. Having the two strangers distracted and making himself appear foolishly innocent, Hanzo proceeded to shake Naru with a vengence. "Hey, snap out of it, look away from the light!". Managing to break Naruto's line of sight, Jiriya shrivered as he found the front of his uniform covered in orange drool.

This was going to call for a trip to the hotsprings, though he wasn't going to get to partake in his usual activities. Cursing his mission, Jiriya fully turned his mind towards probing the nature of the ladies before him. Enjoying his mental wordplay, his words were not of leisure, but business. "I am Hanzo, this is Daisuke, you are...?"

Pimbeorn the accountant

Clutched in his fist was a curious device, holding untold answers. As an accountant who organized the affairs of his fellow missing-nin, he didn't care for how his employer's tendency to keep silent. The man never spoke to his subordinates outside of professional work, nor did he have any apparant passion for anything, except for food. People who hired missning-nin often had an agenda of serving one of the Countries, and they were often vocal about their beliefs. They also rarely participated in combat. Let alone possess this sort of technology. Within his hands was the principle tool that every agent among the Ape Brigade was given. Known as an Scouter, it was somehow capable of gauging the properties, strength, and location of individuals.

This was the primary means through which they found people to capture, and they could also use it as some sort of communication device to coordinate over vast distances. While there were radios and other electronics throughout the Countries, there were none who could make something this sophisticated, with one exception. The Metal Country, far to the east and beyond the sea, which was an truly industrialized nation, from what he heard. Did this mean that the Metal Country was eying the Shinobi Countries...or their people? This would explain the ship, bloodliners, and strange armor he wore.

Narrowing his eyes, he slipped it onto the left side of his head and clicked a button. He was tired of working for someone so callous, foolish, and mysterious. It sought out and listed a huge number of powers throughout the area, and he quickly realized the neccessity of narrowing the field. He ratcheted a small dial towards the higher spectrum of powers, which quickly soon revealed only one power - the commander's power, of 806. Compared to his own, a paltry 71, it was clear that he didn't stand a chance. Nothing that he didn't already know, but he needed to check himself from doing something foolish.

At heart, he considered himself an idealist, a freedom fighter, and it was obvious to him that Sabin, that unknown, uniformed, clearly sinister man intended nothing good for anyone who didn't serve his agenda. He only had to convince the others of this truth, to show them what had to be done in order to advance the cause of freedom. Looking thoughtfully at himself in a mirror he kept in his room, he saw his reflection. Strong and proud, Pimbeorn admired himself, before moving onto how he could deal with Ape Brigade, after the timely departure of the leader. He will first collect the suppy of scouters that the boss kept in that fancy safe of his, and then he would acquire some proof of what the man has been doing - clumsy and overly fed dogs like the Commander did that. He smiled a bright and clear smile at the mirror, justice would soon be at hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~APE BRIGADE HQ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He inspected the cargo, taking out an collar and placed it around the elderly man's neck. This done, he turned to his laptop and inputted the information about the man. Letters and numbers appeared on a tag that was on the front of the collar, with an picture identification. This done, the inspector said "next." An crony took the man and lead him away to the cages, and the process was repeated on the grandaughter of the man. The inspector said "Put her in the cell across from him." There were no more prisoners to add to what he already collected, so he moved into the jail area so that he could make sure that the goods were still intact. Entering the large corridor, his assistant moved the girl and man into their respective cubicles.

Rows of cages lined the walls, each with a bed and water receptacle. There was an total of 29 individual prisoners, all of them his meal ticket. He looked at each one carefully, making sure none were attempting suicide or were being mistreated. While many would say he was unethical, he didn't tolerate his prisoners being hurt by his subordinates. He was robbing them of their lives, and it would be cruel to hurt them even more, however moot the point may have been. Glancing at the cages of the old man and his grandaughter, he walked over to each cage and pushed a switch. The screens on the cages kept prisoners from seeing outside, but that was disabled now. He spoke to the old man, saying "You are free to talk to your grandaughter and see her." The man had an expression of anger with an tinge of gentle understanding. He was a former ninja, and such cruel mercies were rare. Speaking to his grandaughter and comforting her, the old man payed no attention to his jailer.

Moving on, the jailer came to an cage containing one of the more volatile specimens - an boy nearing adulthood, he was one of the prisoners that had to wear a strait jacket, along with having his head, hands, and legs all tied together by bands of silksteel. No part of his body wasn't uncovered, with good reason. Capable of bleeding through the pores covering his body, he was able to control his blood and use it in a myriad of ways. An hotheaded fellow who had dreams of creating a new clan with his fiancee, his public displays of strength made him an obvious target for harvesting. He checked the cell's monitors twice, and was throughly satisfied that his prisoner wasn't going anywhere. He nodded at the missing-nin(s) that he assigned to guard the boy, and left.

His final inspections of the day were over, to his relief. Despite being calmer and brighter than most of his race, he still couldn't stand the myriad challenges of paperwork and management. He was glad that he had subordinates to handle the various problems of finances, quartermastering, and spying. He still had to do a lot of work himself though, to make sure that some crucial aspect doesn't escape him. Letting his guard down right now would lead to an unceremonious end. Just because he had more sheer strength than everyone else meant nothing, since the people he was capturing had abilities that might negate his own powers. He saw the door to his private chambers, and entered.

He relaxed a little, because he was now in his own room. Small and organized, it was clearly the lair of an man who didn't express himself through possessions. It was almost bare, except for the desk, chair, bed, laptop, and filing cabinet. He chuckled a little to himself, because anyone outside of his circle would have thought that the leader would have the most furnished and largest room. Turning around, he checked the mail-box that was attached to his door. It bore a letter, and he took it with trepidation. A part of him wanted to just put it off for later, but his experience and dediction to success made him check the contents anyway. He found photos, along with many papers. One was blue stationary, and the perfume on it tickled his nose.

His furred tail twitched in response, if only because the perfume brought to mind the woman that sent this letter, and the smell made him feel a slight bit queasy. That was because of his strong sense of smell, even though he should be used to this kind of exposure by now. A part of him was grateful for not meeting the kunioichi in person, because no doubt the smell would be even more intense. At times he disliked his superior senses since they caused him an tingling pain in his head when exposed to sights, sounds, and especially smells that he wasn't used to. Women were especially troublesome, since his senses were geared towards survival and reproduction - the latter being a great deal of trouble for him. Among these people he was clearly the 'alpha', and primitive instincts demanded that he would go to great lengths to ensure this in all ways. His mild-mannered (violent) upbringing ensured that he would be confronted with such pressures all of the time, yet he didn't indulge because they would saddle him with even greater problems.

Especially if it was with an those not of the Saiyan race. An ever-deepening frown carved a deep crevice in his face, an dark anger seemingly reflected within his onyx eyes. Using an technique of forgetting his problems, he absorbed himself into his work. Dimly aware of the problem of an increasing need of workaholicism that was derived from his lack of an mate and ever-tightening financial drain that was Renee, the details of the reports ran through his mind's eye. He came to an stop, and read an paragraph the second time. This person, 'Daisuke' possessed an extreme powerlevel according to the reports that an spy of his made. An powerlevel of 919 was simply monstrous among the humanoids that inhabited this world. There were only four beings who reached half of this level to his knowledge, though he knew there was probably a dozen more who weren't obvious. This was one of those cases. There were only three other potentially threatening people in the region that he knew of.

Gaara of the Wind Country had an powerlevel of 386, though most of his powerlevel could be attributed to the rumored 'Jinchuriki' contained within him, and the extremely potent control he had over sand. Then there was Jiriya, who had an powerlevel of 354. Obviously one of the most skilled and dangerous men, though he wasn't that great of an threat. Unless an number of powerful individuals gathered, the Saiyan wasn't too worried. Yet...an being over 900 PL is someone to consider carefully. While an part of him desired to capture this being for his employer, the person was too dangerous to treat lightly when considering his disability.

While the report wasn't as informative as he would like, in terms of energy usage it was very likely for Daisuke to outdo him in battle. Getting down to work, he quickly formed about six plans and eroded his options until he came down to two different plans. He wasn't like most Saiyans, in that he felt quite threatened by an considerably weaker enemy. Yet, he felt that if he just left Daisuke to his own devices, the kid would be most likely goaded and directed into attacking the Ape Brigade leader. That wasn't good, because if the brat got the initiative, it was likely to end badly. If there was anything that the Saiyan warrior knew well, it was to move quickly in order to end a potentially lethal battle. He could only afford a minor margin for error, unlike his kin.

Left with two options, he weighed them. On one paw, he could just have his agent distract or otherwise keep Daisuke well and faraway from his operations. However, should Daisuke or his partner catch on, it would potentially compromise the Ape Brigade. The alternative was to remove Daisuke from the equation outright, which was within his powerlevel. Topping out at 1,359 - the difference wasn't that great between him and Daisuke, but if he got in the first blow, it should be outright fatal. For all of their techniques, the warriors of Planet Shinobu rarely displayed much in the way of durability, regeneration, or power. Just pure skill. Taking this into consideration, he came to an conclusion:

He wouldn't have to remove Daisuke yet - while Daisuke may be part of the AGE investigation, he knew that he only needed to avoid Daisuke. It would be much more simpler to distract him until the perfect opportunity comes for an ill-intentioned strike to be struck against that dangerous youth. Thoughts and ideas came brimming to the surface of his mindscape, being struck down or expanded upon as he sorted through the mess. Now he would have to talk to his subordinates...after relaxing a bit in the Saiyan tradition.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~APE BRIGADE KITCHEN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hard at work was an man. He thought himself to be a master of his art, an person who made others happy and content through his great works. Nothing made him happier to create his works, to either satisfy himself or others. Especially appreciative of his voracious employer, that man gave him an challenge. One that had layers to it. The employer himself ate great deals of food just by himself, far outdoing the likes of the Akimichi. Then there were the members of the Ape Brigade, who desired tasty food to fill stomechs, be it on the road or at home base. There were also the prisoners, which required nutrious, cheap, and somewhat satisfying food. He was glad for it all, because an master chef like himself could rarely get such a great challenge. Let alone the resources to meet it.

The swick-chop of an knife meeting a cutting board was music to his ears, as was the merry boiling of an pot. Such was how the world was perceived by Chef Ninjardi, Culinary Ninja. Of course, many people mocked him for his calling. Unfortunately for them, there were many techniques and tools that he could use to kill anyone who made unkind comments about his profession. Constructive criticism was acceptable though, as he had made a point of pointing out to the beneficiaries of his cooking.

He delayed bringing out his employer's meal, because he wanted to make extra food and to add a special sauce to his creations - hunger. There was nothing like hunger to make food desirable, and his employer got hungry easily, as his glazed expression of drooling mixed with an stirring stomech would attest to. Of course, like any decent chef Ninjardi knew that waiting too long would ruin his efforts, something he worked hard to not do. Timing, was paramount in his profession. Emerging from the kitchen that he felt was the nerve center of their operation, the portly but heavily muscled chef easily walked towards the me(eating) room that their commander used for his private use, the master of cutlery entered an mid-size room. To the eyes of the chef, an wonderous sight was beheld: the commander in combat dress waiting to partake in beautific gluttony.

There were many ways to describe what was to come - Stomech of holding, olympian feasting, sinful consumer, Lord of the Akimichi, Grindtooth, Munchie-Chomp-Gulp, and for those times when food wasn't at hand, Thunderbelly. The chef, simply put was completely nuts about his master since this master was one of the few beings in the countries who could stomech and appreciate the full extent of his cooking. At one time, Chef Ninjardi was trying to assasinate the man through his cooking, spices and sauces that would have felled lesser men twenty times over with an sip - but this man...no, monster...took it all without a hiccup. As such, Chef Ninjardi would serve the man in all ways he could until he could kill him with one of his recipes. His pride as an culinary chef depended upon it. Taking down his master would be the crowning achievement of his life. Protecting him from outside forces meant that no one could kill the master before he could! The wages and supplies didn't hurt either.

Hopeful expression on his face, the cook fingered his beard, snapping it back and forth as he said "Is it satisfactory, Lord?" Disappointment welled up in him as the monster inhaled food with abandon, with content on it's face. That was all he had needed to know. Unless the man eventually gave into months of exposure to the most potent poisons and acids known to ninkind, it seemed that he was invincible with an stomech of triple-layered titanium to match. He was hoping that his revolutionary concept* would render the superman helpess and dying. No dice, not even an reduced appetite. Still, at least the idea might work on lesser beings.

*An kind of bean that expands upon being somewhat digested, which grows up to a hundred time's it's size. If enough are eaten in one sitting, the beans would force the belly to explode due to the sheer space they take up. Ironically, the bean was based upon an legend of an mystical bean that would keep the belly full for 10 days while healing the consumer. An legend Chef Ninjardi loved, but apparantly not true...so he would MAKE it fatally true!*

Continually dishing out yet another mountain of food, Ninjardi thoughts were disturbed when his employer started talking about the future. "As you know, we are nearing our final deadline and shipment. I trust that you will be ready to disband in four weeks?" The Chef felt a pang of disappointment, but still replied. "Indeed, I have already arranged for our food shipments to the villages to end and have settled our accounts. They shouldn't be able to follow our trail for a week or two...but there are some concerns, sir." Putting down his utensils, the boss of the Ape Brigade looked harrowed, and then waved for Ninjardi to continue.

"Most of our missing-nin are worried about your loyalties to them. There has been talk at the dinner table that you do not come from any of the Countries, and that you don't appear to have shinobi training. You have proven to be an extremely powerful warrior, but it really bothers the missing-nin that you don't exist in any records they could find. Some even took the privelege of checking your quarters, which has revealed very little. That was rather rude, I must say." Not that he was sincere in that, since he was also curious. "There is almost no such thing as an employer who has no history, not even among shadow warriors." Chewing on this for thought, Sabin's beady eyes gave an dull reflection. From what Ninjardi could tell, there was little in the way of intelligence, nor did it feel like that the man cared for the missing-nin or his comrades. This didn't bode well, in his opinion. Still, it might be best to hear him out. "I am not worried. The plan was always for us to go our seperate ways when the time came. However, I still require the services of yourself and the others. Raid my room again while I am away tomorrow. You will find something interesting."

The Saiyan returned to his meal, considering the possible outcomes of his deception. Perhaps the chef would assist him, or maybe he would reveal the truth of things. Whatever may come, he wasn't worried - he already met the quota for his contract, and only had to ship more specimens to get a bonus. Should the missing-nin prove disloyal, they would die at his hands, and some others be added to the final shipment. Things would work out...or so he told himself. When he was filled with food, his thoughts often became clouded.

'Gribbit, Geheet, Splish!' That was the sound of three warrior toads being squashed, smashed, and punched in half by an single man under ten seconds. It was nightmarish to Jiriya's ears and eyes, and he knew that if he survived this, he will get an serious talking to from Gambunta. Still, at least the perverse master of the martial arts Happo...er, Jiriya made good use of the time preparing dozens of traps and seals. It was exhausting, but it was obvious that if his enemy got to him, it would all be over. Despite being a few notches tougher than his frogs, Jiriya still was only human. Then again, the frogkiller looked human, but that wasn't stopping him from taking on dozens of ninja and wiping out the demon frogs that Jiriya had summoned.

It was time to throw caution to the wind. An flame courtesy of the Katon no Jutsu fled forth from Jiriya's maw towards the man. Catching the man's attention for a brief time, he jumped out of harm's way into an alley. Jiriya knew that chasing after the man would be an bad idea. However, what an Jiriya-sama can't, an Kage can! three puffs of smoke appeared around Jiriya and left his side in pursuit of the foe. The others he had made to create his traps also made themselves absent. The intent of all these Kage was to herd the Ape Brigade leader into a trap. By themselves they wouldn't succeed, but cooperating with Naruto and allied ninja, taking down the enemy was possible.

Elsewhere, Jiriya's student was trying to hold his own against what he considered an perverse freak of nature: murderous, living tendrils of ramen that was entangling his body. An so-called 'noodle noose' created by an warrior dressed in white while wearing an odd cap, Naruto swore holy vengence upon this horrible being for perpetrating this atrocity. But first, he had to get out of his bindings. Stretching his held arms, he pulled off the creation of an dozen kage bunshins. Two of them went to work on the noodles (one of which took an nibble and subsequently vanished), while the rest began an all-out assault on the chef. Taking in the fact that the noodles were not just alive, but also deadly to the extreme, Naruto knew that he would have to end this battle quickly. Stretching out an arm, the two remaining clones at his side began to assist him with the formulation of an Rasengan. Smirking at his foe, the two Naruto's charged towards the chef in sync.

Chef Ninjardi himself wasn't feeling too pressured by the other clones that were scrambling around him. After all, he was called an master chef for an reason. Wielding an pair of cleavers, he swung them to and fro at an rate that quickly created puffs of smoke. His vision beginning to be blocked but not completely, he noted how some of the smoke was being moved away by an glowing ball palmed by two Orange Kids. It looked like an excellent method for grinding meat or mixing dough, and Chef Ninjardi took action to prevent the kid from starting on the road towards Chefdom. Aiming the head of the cleaver's shaft towards the ground in front of him, he summoned up his chakra and an paste squirted out. Unlike most of his cooking pastes, he used this for direct battles, not assasinations. The best way to defend or to create an opening was to immobilize an enemy.

Orange kid definately was held tight. The sticky and appetizing paste instantly grabbed onto him like Krazy Glue, his eyes going wide as his momentum and balance was nearly destroyed. Quickly thinking on his feet, the kid showed his potential as an ninja and culinary master by having his false counterpart take the glowing blue ball to continue the kid's work. Recognizing the incoming threat, Ninjardi defended in the only way he readily could. Shifting the positions of his two cleavers so that their sharpened and shining edges faced each other, he allowed the magneticism that the two had to act upon each other. Clanging together, he now had an impromptu shield that the ball of energy smashed into. Constructed of heavy and dense titanium, the blades shook under the assault but seemed to hold.

Unfortunately, there would have been an easy way for the enemy to counter his shield if it wasn't for the Chef's foresight. Hinging the blades outward, they clamped onto the clone's fist and ball. While not likely to contain the ball, the fact was that it no longer wasn't under the enemy's control. Which is much safer than just leaving it to work on his cleavers. The ball tore into the hand of the clone and cleavers, leaving sliced circles into the incredibly strong blades. The energy that battered the magneticized pieces of metal faded away and tearing the blades away from each other, Ninjardi gave them a brief inspection. Jagged and circular grooves carved deeply into the blades. Frowning and clicking his tongue in response, Ninjardi returned to the matter at hand. Speaking of which, Orange Kid was probably busy with setting up an finishing combo. Looking around himself calmly, he allowed his senses and intuition guide him into action.

Despite being suprisingly fast and nimble for his girth, the chef favored methodical action over reaction. He took four steps to the right, allowing his left arm to allow an unbalanced cleaver slice into an incoming Naruto clone. Leaving his other arm idle in case something unexpected happened, the chef began injecting chakra into his legs. An random kunoichi made her appearance, carrying on a battle with one of his retreating allies, and yet another Orange was falling towards him from the sky. He did the simple thing: Switching places with the enemy ninja, and hopefully Orange kid would finish off the hapless woman with an misplaced kunai to the head.

Round two - Naruto & Jiriya VS Sabin (Naruto transforms into the Kyuubi, and the powerful chakra kills the itching fungus Sabin used against them. Faced with an oversized enemy, Sabin at first fights it and then flees. He gets hit, dropping him into an watery lake.

Digging into a pouch with a gloved hand, he drew out some dark orange powder. He had to time this right, and for good reason. If his next attack backfired, things would get much worse for him. With this in mind, he used his supreme speed to appear in front of them, standing with an clenched fist. Waving his hand in a tossing motion, grains of the powder spread out and came to rest on the two ninjas. As quickly as he had appeared, he disappeared from sight. He needed to rest, and the powder will give him time to take care of his enemies. Laying down on the crest of an hill, he used his scouter to zoom in on his enemies. Grinning to himself, he saw the beginning of the powder's effects.

The white-haired one took a part of his shirt's collar and put it over his mouth and nose, while the orange kid stared dumbly at where Sabin disappeared from. Then the kid scratched his hand, the older man looked uncomfortable. All too quickly, they started to scratch their skin like as if it was an unbearable pressence. Mouthing some words, the old man used a water jutsu while restraining his instinct to scratch his twitching nose, dousing himself and his charge in water. It was a smart move, but it didn't go to plan for them. The powder wasn't some grounded mineral, it was actually a type of fungus that the Saiyan mercenary often used against his more annoying enemies. When watered or stimulated, the fungus grew, inevitably covering the victim. An rather itchy and suffocating death usually claimed the life of the unfortunate soul.

Chuckling slightly to himself, the Saiyan decided that it was time to take care of those two. While it was a given that he could deal with most enemies easily, the same couldn't be said of the missing-nin in his employ. Undoubtedly an helping hand would be much appreciated, so he had to make haste. Getting up, he jumped towards the two bewildered ninja with an intent to kill. Kicking up dust with his sudden appearance, he punched Daisuke and followed up with a kick to Hanzo, he watched in satisfaction as they two crashed through the thin plastered walls of an building. Closing his right eye, he jumped onto the rubble in the hole as crushed plaster bounced off his scouter. Able to see the thermal images of the two ninja from his scouter, he chuckled a little as he prepared his finishing move.

Crossing his arms, he then let them fly into the walls he stood between. An thundering crash and cracks in the two walls resulted. Jumping backwards, he dodged the collapsing ceiling as the walls gave away. Unless those two ninja somehow pulled off a good trick, they would be dead within a few seconds. The hallway they were in fell upon them, and their thermal images disappeared. Grunting in satisfaction, he turned away from the building when a thought occured to him: Dead bodies don't just lose their heat instantly, they stay warm...let alone disappear. Halting his movement, he turned about. This wasn't over yet!

To Jiriya and his student, that was close one. Having crashed into a hallway and barely escaping through clones and switching into the end of the hall, the reaper's scythe just missed them by a thread. Yet, that wasn't any comfort because his skin was crawling and reddening to his itchy dismay. Naruto was in a equally uncomfortable position, staring at Jiriya with a look that clearly said "Help!" before he got distracted by his newly found skin problem. Jiriya, being older and more disciplined managed to get on his knees as he looked around the now-messy hall. It was some sort of office building by his guess, judging by the walls and the receptionist desk. An see-through cabinet with red trimming that read as "Fire Extinguisher" drew his eyes. He stared at it, and came to an desperate idea.

Slamming open the plastic door, he grabbed a red canister and pointed the nozzle at Naruto with an irritable hand as he said "Close your eyes!". He waited for Naruto to do so, as the poor kid spastically scratched at his arms and neck which just kept having newly formed wounds to close up between scratchings. An clock in the room ticked. Then tocked. Jiriya frowned and yelled again "CLOSE YOUR EYES, BRAT!" The kid finally managed it, and Jiriya unleashed shivering hell upon his pupil. The cold spray hit the kid, and almost instantly the fungus became inert. No longer moving and becoming an light shade of purple, the fungus eventually started to fall off as Naruto shivered in response to the foam.

Grinning to himself, the sannin turned the nozzle upon himself, and was relieved with an cold shower. His brief and rather intimate relationship with the fungus has finally ended. Tempted to kiss the extinguisher, Jiriya opened his eyes as he said "Get up Naruto, our enemy must have done a lot by now." His student sluggishly opened his eyes and crawled onto his feet. Eyes suddenly dilating and darting at something, Naruto began to mouth some words. Whatever he was trying to do didn't help Jiriya any, because the inelegant sannin found himself embracing a wall at mach speed from the hands of an equally brutish...someone. Groaning a little at his misfortune, Jiriya fell onto the floor and froze with apprehension born from exhaustion.

Whoever or whatever the boss of the monkey brigade was, it wasn't human. Jiriya had met great taijutsu masters like Maito Gai who just didn't match up to this freak in speed or strength. He had come to a painful conclusion that fighting him just wasn't going to work out. Raising himself from the ground with his hands, he had all the intention to order an retreat. *Ding, clink, thunk!* Three kunai from an helpful ninja outside the building struck his enemy, bouncing off to little effect... except for making the fellow turning around and jumping into the great outdoors. Grabbing an barely functional Naruto, Jiriya followed his enemy's path.

He exited, only to hear an unfortunate kunoichi scream before her neck crunched under the ruthless murderer's hand. A part of Jiriya became very angry, and he recklessly threw an explosive-tagged kunai into the body of the woman. After all, she was dead and the man was practically immune to kunais! Running like the wind, Jiriya followed the exterior of the building and turned a corner into a alley. A resounding boom followed him, and he hoped that the tag had nailed the enigma. Dropping his charge like a bag of concrete, Jiriya jumped upwards and onto the building he formerly occupied. A gaping maw that had resulted from his tag was there.

He scanned the ground and his surroundings. Aside from the building and the shattered remains of the kunoichi, it seemed his handiwork had no effect. "Hold it." Turning around quickly, Jiriya stared at the visage of the Ape Brigade leader. No burns, no scars, just an exhausted Naruto being held by the back of his neck with a single hand. The stare turned into a glare as Jiriya said "Drop the brat, you must be above this." The man stared at Jiriya evenly, and after a few seconds passed he responded. A snapping sound echoed, then the man tossed aside Naruto, with a crimson hand as evidence of his deed. Jiriya felt cold fury at the man, and took a taijutsu stance.

He couldn't afford to think about Naruto anymore. Placing a special tag in his hand, Jiriya layered it with chakra, straightening it into an extremely sharp piece of paper as he let it fly towards the brigand. Being thin, it seemed to slice into the man, portruding from his chest like some sort of odd arrow. The tag's fuinjutsu took effect, and the man stiffened even as Jiriya prepped the next and final assault. Smoke issued forth from the tag, and the unfortunate man was obscured from while an blue orb cohesed into being in one of Jiriya's hands. "RASENGAN!" was Jiriya's warcry as he felt the mighty orb crash into a solid shape at the end of his charge, the billowing smoke of the fuinjutsu being shoved away with the force of the passing orb.

A loud clang was the result as his enemy crashed through a metal door that lead into a rooftop stairwell, proving beyond doubt that the mighty foe took the blow. Dust of concrete and winds exited the stairwell, further providing fuel to flame Jiriya's confidence. Even so, he didn't let his guard down - just because the man didn't show any jutsus or any obvious powers, didn't mean much in the world of ninja: the greatest powers are often more subtle. Not that suddenly getting hit by a brick at extreme speeds was subtle.

Feeling a severe headache coming on, Jiriya resisted the urge to fall unconcious as a familiar figure hopped into view. There was a huge hole in the man's chest armor, but the exposed skin was wrinkled while having a black and blue hue. There was no way that should have been possible - Rasengan would have sliced through a titanium girder! Mumbling "Unbelievable", Jiriya fell to one knee as he stared with an strained expression at the Ape Brigade leader. His voice a little cracked, Jiriya smiled a little as he said "Hey, I never got your name." Hefting a brick in one of his hands, the man said "I am Sabin Stargem of House Irontail." Tossing the brick two times in the air, he repeated the action one more time, and cocked his fist back to punch the brick during descent.

Jiriya recognized it as a way some Taijutsu warriors would make a ranged attack, making a 'shotgun' assault by shattering a object. Having been on the wrong end of such attacks a few times, Jiriya knew it was deadly and painful...and he still had plenty of options. Just not good ones, to his dismay. Summon Gamabunta and get crushed underfoot? Throw a copy of his latest Icha-Icha Paradise novel at the brick? Perhaps beg for his life? He continually shot down the many stupid ideas that came to mind, even as the brick came ever closer to shatterdom. Instinct took over from there. A 'boof' sound and a sudden change in view was the result of his switching with Sabin.

With this transaction, Jiriya had the brief satisfaction of witnessing the Saiyan get hit with the brick shards - and suprisingly, caused small trickles of blood to start seeping down his back. Despair within Jiriya became stronger, because his enemy was so strong that only his own attacks had any real effect on him. It was damning evidence of Jiriya's weakness. Yet...STRIKE! Wielding one last kunai, Jiriya put on a burst of speed and slammed it into one of the man's opened wounds. Not much of the blade entered the man, but it was enough. There was plenty of poison on that particular weapon.

Jiriya felt a flash of pain and his vision began to tilt - he had been smashed aside when the leader turned around! Rolling across the the roof, Jiriya's body slammed into the rail that encircled it. The world slowed down to him, becoming tinted red as he saw it sideways from the ground. The man faced Jiriya and held the poisoned kunai in one of his hands. It became clear that not only was he unaffected by the poison, but that he intended to end Jiriya's life. Almost lazily, he threw it at Jiriya - and so it ended.

The cold and unforgiving waters of Wave Country enveloped him, adding yet more pain to the wounds that pitted and marked his body. Feelings of resisting the embrace of Death were fading from him. Through sheer force of mental will and Saiyan tenacity, he turned about his body. Now facing the sky, he watched as the vision above him was fading. Two bright orbs shined through the darkness, even as he sinked ever deeper into the depths. Twitching and starting to lose his breath, it was all over for him. He felt his spirit slipping away, despite the fact that his body was shuddering and that he now felt angry. An small part of him laughed at this foolish response, because it was pointless to be angry about it. Death is inevitable. This was his last concious thought, losing himself to a red darkness.

Jiriya was at an loss at what to do about Naruto. The boy was too far gone for him to reinforce the seal, and he doubted he had the energy needed to defeat the boy-turned-monster. There was only one thing to do, and that was to talk. It may have seemed quaint, but the boy needed support from his precious people to reign in the fox. Naruto was many things, and being considerate of his friends in a time of need was one of them. So Jiriya unleashed an deluge of heartfelt feelings, ones he would normally refuse to tell anyone. After all, he was a pervert, not a counselor! Unfortunately for the aging ninja, his words came out as an jumble and if one were to piece together his attempt at conversation, it truly instilled shock and awe.

"...Isn't she so very bouncy? It is most fortunate that you have her for an mother figure, I wish I was in your place - she never lets me touch her, you know? Well, except that time years ago in that bar..." Achieving an new step on the path of stupidity, Jiriya soon lost himself in an self-oriented discussion of how he was planning to *ahem* conquer Tsunade. Clearly, his obsession with a certain girl was getting to him. Unfortunately, Naruto's mind was far too gone to learn the dangers that an special woman would pose to a man's mind.

Slashing and chopping his way through the Orange Horde, Sabin was impressed by this particular technique that the young ninja employed. Not that it would help him, when Sabin had his scouter. It kept track of the real Daisuke, and so he made his way towards the boy, jumping and dodging his way.

He was in Naruto's face, and he threw an palm toward his face, aiming for the nose. The bridge of Naruto's nose sunk in, and so Sabin was satisfied that his enemy would be dead. Unfortunately, the body of the ninja turned to smoke, and he came to an realization of what had happened. It was the oldest trick in the bingo book, and he was faced with an problem. His ears and scouter revealed the true location of Naruto, from behind at an side-angle. Pivoting his torso around, he back-handed Naruto, who flew away into a tree with a mighty crash!

POSTBATTLE

Seaweed Hamlet

He was bored. He had woken up an hour ago, to find himself alone and throughly bandaged. He didn't feel unnaturally tired or odd, aside from what usually happened when he got into a fight. Thinking back on the events of the previous night, an answer came to him. Oozaru, the giant and powerful form he couldn't control. He genuinely tried to master it by himself for years, but he never succeeded. It was obviously why he was here. Wherever here was, though it didn't seem like anyone kept an eye on him. His stomech grumbled, reinforcing the fact that no one seemed to particularly care about him. There was no fruit basket or riceballs in sight, or even flowers. He chuckled painfully at himself for expecting special treatment from unknowns, and settled down a little.

In a way, he was glad no one bothered him. He felt like curling into the bed and taking a snooze. So he did, though his stomech made a point of protest over the matter by grumbling. It was actually a few hours later that someone bothered to wake him up. Or rather, bothered him into waking up. After all, few people like being woken up by having cold water poured on them. Twitching with annoyance, he narrowed his eyes at an young woman. Her eyes were hard with anger, though not because of him. He recognized it as the look of someone who was perpetually miserable, lashing out at others. It happened a lot in his line of work, and he detested her already. He returned a glare. The girl held out her hand and said "You owe me for housing and bandaging you. Work for me, so you can pay off your debt." It was straight to the point, and he thought it over. She seemed honest despite her foul disposition. Nodding a little, he got off the bed and took a good look at his surroundings.

It was an comfortable looking room, filled with nick-nacks and dark-brown wooden furniture. It seemed like someone lived here at one point, but he didn't find much evidence of recent use. No clothing or dishes were in sight, and in his experience most people were especially lazy with keeping their rooms clean. Examining the girl, he thought that she looked healthy. His eyes and nose told him so, and he trusted his senses. The girl wore simple buckle shoes, orange socks, an pale and plain dress that had a smock and brooch. A pair of leather gloves and an teal hairband over a shock of bright yellow hair completed the ensemble. With bright green eyes, that became increasingly angry at his brief scan of her features, the girl looked ready to insult him. He spoke first, if only to spare himself the trouble. "Where am I?" The glare continued for a second more.

She harshly spoke, saying "Seaweed Hamlet, my house. Everyone else thought that because I had spare rooms for renting out was an good excuse to put you here." She looked displeased at this, as if it was an mortal crime. She was similar to the Houselord he resided with, which made him somewhat annoyed at her. Repressing his Saiyan tendency of flaunting his innate superiority,