I was walking along the hospital halls; they were as familiar as ever though they felt foreign to me. I had walked this path, or even ran when my pager had gone off hundreds of times before, but I had never walked it from this point of view. They seemed darker, scarier even and the expanse of the corridors appeared so much longer. I was contemplating whether I was going to see Arizona before I went, I knew she wanted me to tell her when I was going in to find the results as she wanted to go with me, but I knew having her there was going to make it all the more difficult. A sympathetic look from my wife could usually set me off into a large amount of tears, and I knew that I didn't want something like that happening in this situation. So I decided not to go by the Paediatric Wing hoping that I might be able to avoid her all together and just go straight to the appointment.

I entered the elevator at the end of the hall, thinking if I took a direct route it will be over quicker. As the elevator doors dinged signally their arrival they slid open to show Arizona standing there with a concerned look on her face, I knew during this situation she would usually have a smug look on her face but she knew I was freaking out, and that woman understood me more than I understood myself sometimes. As I dared to look her into her eyes she gave me a small smile and took my hand, effectively stopping the shaking which I hadn't realised was occurring. We walked along the rest of the hall in silence, passing Mark sneaking a new intern into an on-call room along the way, and eventually got to the oncology department. Each time I saw that word "Oncology" I freaked out. I had been in this hospital for the past 15 years and I would have to refer people here occasionally after finding positive results in patients' bone marrow, but I had never imagined being a patient myself. Arizona was constantly telling me not to worry about something I couldn't control but considering what Dr Hoeper said last week I didn't feel very hopeful. As we went to go to the front desk to alert them to our arrival, Arizona pulled me into a free exam room and sat me down.

As I sat there I could feel her staring at me, waiting for me to do something, so I waited patiently until the silence was too awkward.

"How's your day been?" I said as I leant forward and grabbed her hand.

"Oh you know plenty of tiny humans to fix" she giggled, she was trying to make me laugh and I appreciated it.

"Same with Ortho, plenty of people breaking bones too" I gave her a small smile. I know we were just making small talk avoiding what we should have really been talking about though.

"Callie, you realise that whatever happens today that I will be here for you and with you and we will get through this"

"Yeah I know"

"I love you"

"Yeah I know that too"

She stood up and gave me a quick kiss to my lips, I was very tempted to deepen it as I had a strong surge of passion for my beautiful wife but I knew we couldn't. She grabbed my hand and led me out of the exam room and into the waiting room.

"Dr Calliope Torres?" Dr Hoeper asked with a grim smile.

I looked at Arizona as she squeezed my hand and stood up; we walked into the office and sat down, facing Dr Hoeper. Dr Hoeper was a nice lady, she was the best in her field, and from past appointments I thought she was a friendly person but I couldn't help but feel like we were about to be the receiver of bad news. It didn't help that she had a thick pile of papers on her desk which looked like they included the contacts of experts for treatments and counselling. I found my mind barrelling down into its worst thoughts when I sat there.

What if I couldn't work anymore? No more surgery.

What if it was hereditary? Sofia.

What if I died?

I heard a slight coughing which bought me back from my thinking, I looked around signalling that Dr Hoeper should continue with what she was saying but I had a feeling that she must have already made her announcement. I looked to Arizona who had tears in her eyes and had a trembling bottom lip, and then I looked back to Dr Hoeper who was wearing that grim look again.

"I'm sorry, must have lost focus for a while there, what did you say?"

She looked at me with a concerned look and took a deep breath before giving a slight glance towards Arizona, I realised what she said the first time must have been slightly difficult to say.

"Callie, the tests that you had last week have come back positive for leukaemia."

"Leukaemia?" I spluttered, and then I repeated it again in a whisper.

"Yes, and if we start treatment straight away your chances will increase majorly"

Chances? My chances would increase majorly? Was she saying that I didn't have much chance?

I sat there staring at her in shock, and then turned towards Arizona and just stared at her incredulously.

"What would you recommend that-"Arizona started but I just couldn't handle talking like this at the moment so I interrupted her.

"Okay, well is there a chance that we could reschedule this appointment to later this week and discuss our options then?"

"Uh yes Callie, but it would be better if we could do it now"

"Sorry I've got a hip replacement in half an hour"

Arizona looked at me questioningly after that, she knew that I had cleared my schedule for the rest of the day so I could go home after this appointment and she also knew that I don't even do hip replacements anymore as I don't exactly consider them "bad-ass" enough for me.

"Okay, well book an appointment with Cindy out in the waiting area and I will see-you soon" and as I stood up she put a hand on my shoulder "Callie, keep calm and remain positive". I then saw Dr Hoeper place the papers into Arizona's hands as we left. As Arizona went to book an appointment with Cindy I ran out of the office I began to feel incredibly claustrophobic.

"Callie, wait"

"No Arizona, I'm late for surgery"

"Callie, Wait!"

I ran down the hall and got in the elevator and as soon as the elevator doors began to close I saw her hand slip between the doors.