A/N: While writing this, I listened to the song "The Devil" by Tears for Fears, and I would suggest listening to it while you read it, too. It's very fitting. Also, the sentences in italics are Ritsuka's flashbacks of Seimei talking to him, just too clear that up. Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: Loveless belongs to Yun Kouga, not me. If it did, it'd be quite NC-17 rated, haha!
Ritsuka walked slowly along the street, his frail body swaying with each step he took.
Don't you love your brother, Ritsuka?
Paper white skin, paler than death, stretched over his weak bones. Black rings outlined his bottom lids.
I know you're tired, Ritsuka. Fall asleep in my arms.
His cheekbones showed through the pathetic excuse for skin that wrapped his body. Thin strands of dark hair hung over his sallow, sunken face.
Don't you feel good, Ritsuka? Doesn't it feel nice when brother touches you like this?
The other children stared as he passed by, their eyes assessing the sickly, skeleton-like boy. Ritsuka envied their plump figures, their rosy cheeks, the healthy gleam in their eyes.
Oh, Ritsuka, you're beautiful. You're not like those other children, filthy and disgusting.
"Eww, he's disgusting. I think there's something wrong with him. He's so sick-looking!"
"I bet he's, like, anorexic or something! I don't think I've ever seen him actually eat anything. And check out how skinny he is! It's gross."
"Totally. There's definitely something wrong with him. He's so weird."
Their whispered criticisms echoed through the air.
Ritsuka kept walking, ignoring their comments. He had to get home. To his brother.
To Seimei.
You love me, don't you? Then stay here forever! Never leave me, Ritsuka! Give yourself to me! Give me everything!
He reached his house, stopping at the door.
Oh, ohhh, Ritsuka, just like that! You're doing so well! You're such good boy, Ritsuka!
Ritsuka's frail hand shook as he twisted the key in the doorknob, but he wasn't sure why.
He wasn't...afraid Seimei, was he?
No, of course not! These feeling, these powerful, suffocating feelings that he felt weren't fear, they were love! Of course, he didn't actually know what love explicitly was, but Seimei had told him that this was.
And Seimei was always right.
Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always.
Still, though, the boy trembled as he slowly pushed open the door.
"S-S-Seimei!" he called out softly, his voice so fragile that it sounded like it might just break at any moment. His brother appeared at the top of the stairs. He was so beautiful, so perfect in contrast with Ritsuka's sickly appearance. But still, he smiled at the sight of his small brother's ashen face.
'See,' Ritsuka thought weakly, 'Seimei loves me even though I'm ugly! And I love him, right?' Seimei cradled Ritsuka in his arms, crushing the boy's delicate body against his chest.
Ritsuka, don't say things like that! You're just as beautiful as always!
Somewhere, maybe, Ritsuka knew that this 'love' was causing the sicknesses that made him 'ugly'.
"Oh, Ritsuka, I'm so glad you're home," whispered Seimei, his fingers traveling slowly up his younger brother's shirt. "Your big brother missed you so much."
He slid Ritsuka's top over his head. The boy's pallid skin clung to his ribcage, the bones prominent and visible. "Ritsuka, you're so lovely," Seimei sighed, running his thumb across a soft pink nipple.
Ritsuka smiled wanly at his older brother.
That suffocating feeling was back again.
You're just feeling love for me, Ritsuka.
But...what is love, Seimei?
And why does it hurt like this?