Once Jeremy gave up and went home to get ready for a date, Danny hit the streets. He walked for hours, just breathing in the city that had for his whole life given him strength. For a while it did help, washing away some misery and filling in the hurt places with the familiar comforts; hot air and cold at war where vents and doors opened to the street, the smells of car exhaust and grilled onions from food carts, the music of a hundred different languages as the blissfully unaware people around him just lived their lives. As the alcohol wore off though, the pain returned, his whole chest burning with anger, his stomach roiling with the shame of it. He didn't even notice when his feet turned him toward the place where he had always found a measure of comfort, but it made perfect sense for his body to betray him as well and take him to her place. Goddamnit.
It was only hours before that Danny had stuck his head around her door with a hopeful look. "Hey, don't you have a long lunch break today? You wanna grab a bite with me?"
Mindy didn't look up from her paperwork right away, but when she did it felt like he was caught in a sunbeam. She had a the thoughtful little crease in her brow, but she smiled at him and it made him feel warmer, lighter. "I actually have a dentist appointment, I can't. I actually might not be back in the afternoon."
"Oh, okay." He walked into the office casually, trying to hide his disappointment. He felt a bit foolish, a grown man giddy at the thought of a lunch date, but he'd waited a long time for the little stuff like lunch dates. Too long.
"But I'll see you tonight, okay?" She looked back down at her paperwork."Why don't you ask Jeremy?"
"I'm fine. I can just grab a sandwich."
"No, ask Jeremy, Seriously."
"Ask me what?" Hearing his name as he passed the office, Jeremy popped in with an inquisitive look.
"Danny was going to go out for lunch, you guys should go do something together. You two used to hang out sometimes, right?"
Danny looked at Mindy quizzically. "Why are you trying to push me into going to lunch with Jeremy?"
"Hey!" Jeremy looked irritated, but not actually angry.
"Sorry, man. I didn't mean anything by it. She's just acting weird."
She sighed and put down her pen. "I am not. I'm being a good girlfriend. I just don't want to hear you complain ten years down the line that I ruined all your friendships."
Danny's heart skipped a beat. Ten years. He moved closer to her. "I'd never say that."
Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Do you two need me here for this?"
Danny looked back over his shoulder. "Sorry. Jeremy, you wanna go to lunch?"
"Only if I get to choose the place," Jeremy folded his arms.
"Fine. No French food though. And nothing too spicy. And no sushi!"
"Shall we just eat soup in the park?" Jeremy said, drily.
"Yeah, I like soup."
"I was being facetious." Jeremy rolled his eyes again as he walked back out the door. "Meet me by the elevator at 12:45."
Mindy grabbed Danny's hand before he left. "Send me a text before you come over, okay?"
He pulled her hand up and grazed her knuckles with his lips. "I'll see you tonight."
. . . .
"Listen, this place is brand new, but the reviews are fantastic." Jeremy was leading them briskly toward as yet unknown destination.
"You still haven't said where we're going." Danny grumbled.
"It's Italian..."
"Okay. I like that."
"...but they don't serve main courses," Jeremy finished.
"Nope." Danny turned and started walking the other way.
Jeremy caught him by his elbow. "You said I could choose."
"Okay. Fine. What do they serve then?"
"They serve antipasto followed by gelato and coffee."
"What? That doesn't make any sense." Danny waved dismissively.
"It's a nice light meal."
"In New York you couldn't find a normal Italian restaurant?"
"I'm low carb."
"And gelato is okay?" Seeing the sour look on Jeremy's face Danny gave in. "Fine, I'll go to your place."
"Excellent." Jeremy rubbed his hands together, then stopped and pointed across the street. "Is that Mindy?"
If she hadn't been wearing such a distinctive green and gold dress today Danny would have shrugged it off as pretty unlikely since her dentist's office was about 13 blocks west of here, but it was her, it was definitely her. Danny watched Mindy pull Peter out of a cab and run into a building with his hand clasped in her own. "Peter?"
Danny was inches away from getting swiped by a cab when Jeremy pulled him back. "Danny, Danny, Danny. Running into the street and getting killed won't solve anything."
"What's she doing over here? With him? She's supposed to be at the dentist."
"Relax, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. We can just walk over and meet up with them. Maybe they'll come eat with us."
"Okay." Danny looked at Jeremy uncertainly, but Jeremy took his hand off Danny's arm.
As they walked up the steps to the building they heard Mindy's voice clearly ring through an open window. "Danny can't know about this, Peter. Not until I talk to him first."
Danny and Jeremy both stopped and awaited Peter's reply. "Mindy, relax. I know how sneak around."
"Don't call it that!" Mindy sounded irritated.
"Does Danny know you're with me?" Peter paused. "No? Then we're sneaking around."
"Peter we've gotta make this quick, I told him I was at the dentist."
"Let's take the stairs." As Danny and Jeremy peered through the window they saw Mindy's dress whip around the corner as she and Peter climbed the stairs out of sight.
Jeremy read the name on the buzzer. "P. Prentice. Danny, this is Peter's flat."
Danny's heart was beating so loudly in his ears he could only read Jeremy's lips. How could this be happening to him again? He'd almost expected it of Christina, but Mindy? He thought...he thought a lot of things. He swayed and hit the door with a thud, looking up at Jeremy's concerned face. "Peter?"
Jeremy grabbed his arm again and held him steady. "You're reading too much into this, mate. We'll just ask when we get back to the office."
"I'm not going back to that office." Danny stumbled down the stairs and started walking down the sidewalk in a haze. Jeremy ran up behind him, phone in hand.
"Betsy? Hi, could you please reschedule my afternoon, and Dr Castellano's as well. Something has come up. No, if Peter or Mindy come in just tell them...tell them that something came up. I'll explain later." Jeremy slipped his phone back into his pocket and slapped Danny on the back. "Let's drink."
. . . .
Danny wandered the city so long he was almost sober again by the time he let himself quietly into her apartment. Despite Jeremy's insistence that he was overreacting Danny had sent one last text to cancel his plans with her, then turned his phone off. He wasn't sure what he was hoping to accomplish as he slipped silently toward the bedroom. To catch them? To catch her off guard so she'd have to confess?
As it happened, it didn't matter. The whole place was dark, their bed cold. Her bed, hers. Why did he think that? Brown Bear and Mr Neck stared down at him from her bookshelf. She'd thought it was so funny to put them up there together that afternoon when she'd found Mr Neck in Danny's overnight bag. He'd just shaken his head, but inside he was picturing a future with a lot more stuffed animals and laughter.
All of the fight went out of him as the memory washed over him, triggering a new, deeper pain. He crawled into the bed fully clothed, inhaling deeply the mingled scents of her shampoo and his aftershave on the pillows, and for the first time in a very, very long time Daniel Castellano cried himself to sleep.
. . . .
"Dr Castellano! I didn't think you were coming in today!" Wearing a spare shirt from the tiny space Mindy generously referred to as his part of the closet and the same jeans from the day before, Danny trudged into the office. Betsy was in early too, as always, and she lit up happily when she saw him.
"Yeah, sorry about the unexpected cancellations yesterday. I'm fine."
"I'm glad. Where's Dr Lahiri?" she chirped.
"Uh, she's coming in late. Dentist or something." Danny said feebly. He didn't know and he didn't want to think about where she spent last night.
"Dr Prentice left a key for her, is it okay if I just give it to you?" Betsy reached out with a little key dangling from the end of her finger, the keychain a silver P.
"Do you know what it's for?" Danny's voice cracked.
"He said she'd know." Her nose crinkled and lips turned down in concern as she studied his face."Is everything okay, Dr Castellano?"
"Actually, Betsy, I think I might still be sick. Can you ask Jeremy to take my patients? I've gotta go." Danny ran for the stairs, sure that if he tried the elevator he'd run into her, or even worse a Peter and he didn't want to be responsible for what might happen then.
As he bolted out the front door he was almost in a run, away from the building, away from everything that reminded him of her. The faster he went the more he realized that there wasn't anywhere that didn't remind him of her any more. She loved the city in a very different way from the way he loved it and everywhere they went she had forced him to see it her way. There wasn't anywhere to hide from that. So he just went home.
. . . .
"Danny?" Mindy called his name softly as he swung his door open. She was sitting at the kitchen table wearing jeans and his sweatshirt, concern written all over her face. "Where have you been all night?"
"Does it matter?" He was surprised to see her here, but with his hands in his pockets he could feel the strange angles of the keychain gripped tight in his palm and her reasons for being here felt unimportant.
Mindy's eyebrows furrowed with frustration. "Yes it matters! I waited for you. I know you said you couldn't see me, but I wanted to see you. Where were you?"
"Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?" He sat down heavily across from her and rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"I'm not going in until lunchtime. Peter's covering my patients."
"Peter. Of course." He swallowed hard, but the lump that had lodged itself in his throat wouldn't budge.
"Danny, what's going on?"
"Do you mind if we don't do this here? I don't want to look at my kitchen table and always think of this." He gestured between them.
"Danny, you're scaring me."
"Fine we'll do it here." He fished around in his pocket and drew out the key, dropping it in front of her. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
She looked down, confused and back up at him. "What's this?"
"The key to Peter's place. He left it for you." He swallowed again but his voice betrayed him. "You don't have to sneak around anymore."
She tipped her head to one side. "He told you? I'll kill him. He was supposed to let me do this."
"No, you just told me," he whispered.
"I haven't told you anything. What do you think is happening here?"
He just stared at his hands. He couldn't look up if he wanted to. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. "I know about you and Peter. I saw you sneak into his place yesterday when you told me you were at the dentist."
She looked off into the distance, as though things were finally clicking into place. "That's why you cancelled last night?"
"I'm sorry I didn't want to hear about your new office romance."
"That's what you think?" Mindy's eyes widened, then narrowed as her lips set in a grimace. She stood abruptly. "You stay right where you are."
Danny interrupted. "I HEARD you two." He started to stand.
"I said stay where you are." Her voice was shaking. She turned and ran to the bedroom, returning in less than a minute hopping as she shoved her feet into a pair of his sneakers. She scooped the key off the table and shoved it into her pocket. "Let's go."
. . . .
When they reached the building he just followed her up. She knew where she was going.
She looked a lot calmer than she had in the cab, but what he saw in her eyes made him even more afraid than he'd been when she'd sat there shaking in the seat next to him, not even looking at him. He was hurting, but he wanted so badly to reach out and take her hand. He took Christina back once, maybe he should just say something, give Mindy a chance to choose him. Maybe he could get over this. His hand lifted and reached for her of its own accord, but he pulled it back before he touched her.
She slipped the key into the lock and turned it, but before she opened the door she turned back to face him. "Danny, do you really want this?"
"Mindy..."
"I mean it, Dan. I thought we were okay. I thought you knew how I felt about you." A tear slipped down her cheek.
"You thought I wanted to be casual?"
"Casual? How have we ever been casual? Everything we've ever done has been building to this. You said it yourself, we went on hundreds of dates before you even kissed me. This is not casual. Why would you think that?"
"Because you and Peter..."
"Peter and I nothing. How can you think I would ever, EVER do that to you?" She took his face in her hands. "To us?"
"Us?"
"Us."
"You didn't.. you're not leaving me for Peter?"
"Daniel Castellano, if I get my way I'm not leaving you ever." Tears streamed down her face now and she made no move to wipe them. "I don't know what makes you run, but you've got to trust me. I am not Christina. And we don't always have to go to this dramatic place. There's only enough room in this relationship for one drama queen and I have dibs."
Danny felt something break loose in his chest and his sigh of relief was almost a sob. "I'm sorry." As he kissed her cheeks he whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
The salt from her tears on his lips mingled with the sweetness of her lips as she kissed him softly. "Are you ready for this?"
He pulled away, confused. "Ready for what?"
She smiled and pushed the door behind her open. Peter's entire front room was lined with naked pictures...of Danny.
"What the hell?" He shook his head in disbelief.
"We got them all. At least we think so." Mindy smiled proudly, tears drying on her cheeks
"What?"
"Danny, I know how hard it was for you to even pose for pictures like these. And how much it hurt you to have them shared without your permission. I didn't like Christina already, but I hated her for doing this to you. I hate her."
"How'd you get her to sell them to you? She didn't like you very much either."
"I didn't. That's why I needed Peter. He bought one at the show. I convinced him to go back and ask for the whole collection. And make offers to the other buyers. And buy the negatives."
"What?"
"Christina didn't know him and the dealer arranged most of it anyway. I'm pretty sure they just think he's some huge perv who's obsessed with you, but that didn't stop them from selling him everything. Which makes me even madder, by the way" She took his hands in hers. "But I think I got them all. Peter picked up the negatives yesterday. That's why you saw me here."
"How long have you been doing this?"
"Since Weiner Night. We've been all over the city."
"Don't call it that," he croaked. It was overwhelming. How could she have been doing this so long? Why would she do this?
"Sorry," apologized with a soft smile.
"You've been buying these since then? And Peter's been storing them here?"
"Yep!"
"I don't like that."
"Peter didn't either at first, but apparently there's a certain kind of girl he likes to date who is INTO the kind of guy who keeps a huge collection of nudes."
"Jesus." Danny grimaced at the mental picture.
"Yeah. There's more to that story, but I'm not interested in repeating it. I wish I could unhear it." She crinkled her nose.
"Mindy... we weren't even..."
"Yes, we were. Hundreds of dates, Danny. Maybe we weren't 'us' yet, but I knew then that I would do anything to stop her hurting you again."
He looked around the room again."This must have cost a fortune. Let me pay you back."
"Absolutely not." She shook her head.
"Mindy..."
"This is my gift to you. I hope that somehow it helps you understand how not-casual this is. I meant what I said. This is it for me. I'm not looking for anything else."
Danny pulled her to him and kissed her. He was so deeply touched, even with Peter's involvement. "I'm so sorry I jumped to conclusions. I'm so sorry. No one has ever done anything like this for me."
"And you're going to talk to me in the future, rather than drink yourself into a stupor and walk around the city all night?"
"How did you know I did that?"
"I know you, Daniel Castellano. And if you'd stopped for even a minute you'd know what I did last night."
He grinned and looked at her thoughtfully. "You put on MY pajamas, crawled into the bed on my side and watched Scandal on Netflix. And when you spilled chocolate ice cream on my side of the bed you just got on your side and went to sleep."
"It was butter pecan ice cream, but close enough."
"I've never seen you eat butter pecan ice cream. You called 'Grandpa' Pecan."
"What can I say? I missed you."
Memories of his night alone in her bed, their bed, washed over him. "I missed you too. I stayed at your place."
"You did?"
"Yeah. I don't know why I did it."
"Did you need Mr Neck?"
"No. I needed you." He drew in a big breath. "Mindy I think we should move in together."
"Really? Like an hour ago you were trying to break up with me."
"Biggest mistake of my life."
"Bigger than this?" Mindy gestured at the stacks of huge prints, Danny's bare flesh on display everywhere.
"So much worse than this. I just lost a little dignity that night. I survived it because I had you. I thought I couldn't face it and you made me face it. You defended me when Christina told all of Manhattan I was a monster. I don't know what I did to deserve your friendship, but if you don't know how much that meant to me... Running from you was the biggest mistake of my life. I'll never do it again."
Mindy grinned up at him with shining eyes. "That was quite a little speech for you, Castellano."
"Sorry."
"No, I like it." She kissed him. "Let's do it."
"You wanna move in with me?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "To be clear, I'm not moving to Jersey for this. We'll find a place in the city."
"I never expected anything else." He looked around. "What are we gonna do about these?"
"I'm sure we can find a new place big enough to hang most of them."
"Mindy."
"Some of them?"
"Min!"
"One of them?"
"Okay."
"Really?"
"No!"