created as a prompt from tumblr

i had fun with this one, trying to figure out how a drunk nice would act

Whoever thought it was a good idea to allow Nice to get drunk deserves a good smack to the head, preferably multiple times.

'It was probably meant to be a joke…' Murasaki thinks, but with the current situation at hand, it was difficult to accomplish such a feat as of the moment, '…but I'm not laughing.'

Finding the culprit who spiked Nice's drink is second on his priority list. Dealing with Nice, however, is right on top.

Of course, Murasaki can't really take proper care of the brunet considering the fact that the aforementioned male is literally glued to his arm and rubbing his face on it (but at least he doesn't have to worry about Nice getting out of his sight, Murasaki muses).

The duo is currently seated at their usual table in Cafe Nowhere, right across the bar counter and smack in the middle of the room.

As of today, however, Murasaki has come to regret these seating arrangements, for the reason that being situated here, everyone will be able to clearly see all of Nice's humiliating actions (which are all being performed on the unfortunate Murasaki).

'So Nice is an affectionate drunk then,' the lavender-haired man contemplates, stashing the new information to inner depths of his mind, so that he would at least have the decency to be prepared if this were to happen again (which will not, Murasaki seethes).

He snaps out of his musings to focus at the quite annoying, but admittedly adorable, task at hand; making sure Nice doesn't do stupid shit or get hurt (whichever happens first).

However, Murasaki cannot perform this task due to the brunet snuggling the life of his arm.

"Nice, c'mon, you have to let go sometime this decade," Murasaki grits out; the other male is really testing his patience.

"Noooooooo - hic," the mop of auburn hair whines from its new position on Murasaki's lap. The russet proceeds to stretch out his arms and legs before curling back into the warmth and comfort of his boyfriend.

Murasaki groans from frustration. "Why not?"

He hears snickering from the other end of the cafe, specifically coming from a certain eccentric blond.

"Ehh, Murasaki, having trouble with your boyfriend over there?" Birthday snorts.

Murasaki picks up a magazine from a nearby table (trying to stretch over the brunet gripping his legs) and promptly throws it at the blond, squarely on the head.

Birthday is chatting with Ratio when he feels something smack him in the head.

"Ow!" he yelps. "What was that for?!"

Before Murasaki can say anything, Ratio beats him to it, "For being annoying," he states as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why are you helping him?" Birthday squawks. "I thought we had something special Ratio-chan~!"

The doctor frowns at the nickname. "Well, you're being a bother. Murasaki has enough trouble to deal with as it is." He leaves the conversation as that, leaving no room for further argument from the blond.

Birthday pouts, then grins as he settles to bother Ratio again.

Murasaki, on the other hand, isn't having as much ease dealing with Nice.

"Why won't you get off me, Nice?" he questions again, more softer this time in hopes of the brunet actually listening to him this time.

His hopes are thrown out of the window when Nice continues to stir in his lap, refusing to budge.

"C'mon Nice - "

The russet abruptly sits up. "Fine, fine! 'm - hic - up! Will ya - hic - stop your naggin' - hic - now?"

Nice's sudden movement resulted in Murasaki staring right into the brunet's face. Nice's cheeks are covered in a lovely shade of red due to his drunken state and his eyes are glazed over.

Murasaki continues to stare at Nice's very attractive face, focusing mostly on the pink, plump lips displayed before him.

Suddenly, his throat feels very dry.

Murasaki snaps out of his trance and coughs, averting his gaze to look around the cafe instead of the very adorable and vulnerable male occupying his lap.

Birthday is bothering Ratio with his animated gestures as the doctor is trying (but failing) to do his work, Honey is conversing with Three as the latter is reading his manga, Koneko is chatting with Hajime, with the raven-haired girl speaking when she sees fit, and Master is…well, doing whatever he usually does.

Murasaki is immensely grateful that everyone is distracted so that no one can witness the humiliation that is him trying to tame a drunk Nice.

Upset that the attention is off of him, the brunet decides to plant sloppy and wet kisses all over his beloved's face, from his cheek to forehead to chin, purposely missing his mouth, much to Murasaki's chagrin.

The taller man bristles from the sudden contact and rushes to cover Nice's mouth with his hand.

"What do you think you're doing?" he hisses. "In case you have forgotten, we're in public with people around!"

It was futile to instill logic into Nice's hazy and drunk mind; all common sense is practically gone to the brunet now.

Murasaki feels something wet on his hand and pulls away swiftly, horrified by Nice's strange actions.

"Y-You licked my hand!" he blurts out, cheeks flushing.

Nice looks at him blankly. "Duh," he says before swooping in and taking Murasaki's lips with his own.

Murasaki is shocked from his partner's bold actions. Checking the cafe one more time to assure himself that no one is looking, he gives in to Nice and rests his hands firmly on the latter's hips.

Satisfied with the reaction, Nice tilts his head to further press his lips against Murasaki's, using his tongue to coax them open.

Murasaki feels that his face is on fire as he complies to Nice's heated demands, opening his lips to allow the other's tongue to enter.

Never in his wildest dreams did he think that his partner would be sitting on his lap, drunk out of his mind, french kissing the life out of him, right in the middle of the cafe while there are still people around.

'I am never allowing Nice to get drunk again,' Murasaki vows as he rubs his tongue against the brunet's. The auburn-haired male elicits a very loud moan and starts gyrating his hips directly onto Murasaki's crotch.

'Shit,' Murasaki curses as he quickly takes his tongue out of Nice's hot and moist mouth, pushing lightly against the brunet, so that he doesn't fall of his lap, but enough to keep his mouth away.

The lavender-haired man keeps one hand on the curve of Nice's waist as he uses the other to stifle his groans.

"Hey, keep it PG over there ya horny bastards!" Birthday yells.

The taller man completely forgot that they were still in public.

"N-Nic-ce," he gasps out, gripping the brunet's rotating hips tightly.

Nice abruptly stops and encircles Murasaki's neck with his arms and moves his face closer to the other's.

Murasaki, conscious that the other has stopped his motions, stutters at Nice's approaching face, "W-Wait - !"

He feels a thump! on his shoulders and light snoring near his ear.

Murasaki turns his head to the mop of brown hair resting atop his shoulder and huffs angrily. There he sees Nice's angel-like face snoozing innocently, as if nothing promiscuous had just occurred between the two.

He wraps Nice's legs around his waist, gathers the brunet in his arms, and stands up; gaining the attention of others in the cafe.

"I'm leaving," he announces, curtly walking to the door.

"Make sure to take care of him," Hajime mutters over her chewing.

"And make sure to take care of your problem, too~!" Birthday shouts to Murasaki's retreating back.

Murasaki blushes and lets out an annoyed tch before exiting the cafe with a passed out Nice.

Once he's sure that they left, Birthday lets out a cackle.

Ratio stares at his partner suspiciously as the other pockets a device in his pants.

"What did you do this time?" he sighs.

The blond gasps dramatically, placing his hand over his heart, "Why are you giving me that look? You think that I would drug poor Nice-kun? How you wound me so, Ratio-chan."

The doctor sighs again. "Hn, whatever. But you'll have to deal with the consequences so don't come rushing to me for help," and with that, resumes working.

While he's working, he hears Birthday mumbling something suspiciously akin to 'heh, perfect blackmail material.'

.

.

fin.

yeah i added some birthrate in there because they are also my babies

i will burn in murani hell and i will take you guys with me