notes: written for marshofsleep because she let me use her verse and was the most helpful and encouraging person throughout this entire thing. i wouldn't have been able to do it without ya! also, a big thanks to my artists RegentShaw (hashpaw on tumblr, where you can view the art) and S-Puff (same name on tumblr) for dealing with my procrastination and bombardment of e-mails. You guys rock!

February

i. the loneliest moment

Tsubaki takes a sip of her hot chocolate, a bit of whipped cream sticking to her upper lip. Black Star feels the urge to lean over and lick it off. He doesn't, of course, because he's not a voyeur and she's not his girlfriend and he doesn't really like whipped cream, but the thought is there and it's enough to make him shift in his seat and misspell "fuck you" to the idiot he's arguing with on the forum. He scowls at his phone, then at Tsubaki while she isn't looking, and then out the window.

He's still pretty pissed that she's not ugly like he assumed. With a voice like the one she has and the way she plays WoW she had to be ugly. Or at least have a mole or something. You can't have a hot voice and be awesome at online and video games and be hot. But, to his immense confusion and annoyance, ShadowStag is a fuckin' babe and here he is, rolling around in a wheelchair (albeit a fucking awesome wheelchair) and babbling on about a game she's already played and won. Dammit.

"Black Star?" She asks, leaning forward and smiling slightly. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," he snorts, picking up his Red Bull and taking a big gulp from it. She smiles at him again with her perfectly straight teeth and Black Star sighs inwardly, wondering what it would take to get a piece of ass like that. Probably two working legs, he thinks bitterly, but then remembers how fucking awesome he is, especially with his prosthesis, and stops feeling sorry for himself like a pansy bitch. "So what'd you wanna do after this?"

She shrugs, pulling the sweater she's wearing tighter around her. She props her arms up on the table and rests her chin in the palm of her hand, the smile on her face softer now. "Doesn't matter to me; wasn't there a movie you were talking about seeing?"

"Yeah," he waves a hand at her, leaning back in his wheelchair, stretching his back out. "But I downloaded it last night and it's pretty good quality so I'll probably watch it later."

"Mm," she hums, brows furrowing. He frowns at that. Had she wanted to go see it with him? Maybe he could invite her back to his place after this? They could watch it together and he could hook the computer up to the television. Of course he'd have to pick some shit up from the corner store like more chips, and then he'd have to pick his boxers up from the floor of the living room, but it could totally work. Would it be like a date, though? Nah, she looked like the kind of girl who had a boyfriend. Though, his mind supplies helpfully, she's never mentioned him if she does.

He's about to ask her when several police cruisers fly down the street, stopping at random intervals, cops exiting their vehicles.

Tsubaki screams when one of the cops knocks a man down and bashes his skull in.

Black Star jumps at her scream, as do others around them, but then there are screams all around him, none of them nice, and he's about to tell the bitch behind him to calm down, because that's definitely something from a movie. It's a dummy; they're filming a movie. There is no fucking way that this is actually—

Another guy, white haired and fanged, comes up behind the cop and takes a nice big chomp out of his neck, pulling away meat and skin and—

Tsubaki vomits and Black Star almost wants to as well, but he's got to keep a straight head because there are zombies. There are fucking zombies and he's always thought it would be cool if this happened but now that it's actually happening it's the farthest fucking thing from cool.

The first thing he does is wait for the traffic of people exiting the Starbucks to pass. There is no damn way he's getting through there with his chair and a vomiting girl beside him, and he wouldn't want to be the first one out anyway. It's awful, but their chances of getting away from here without injury would be better if the zombies were distracted by the raging crowd of other people. Gunshots are flying like crazy outside, and Black Star does roll away from the windows, tugging a sick-looking Tsubaki with him.

After a few seconds of breathing, Tsubaki calms down enough to step behind him and take the handles of his chair in hand. "We have to get out of here," she murmurs, though he's not sure if it's to him or herself. More cop cars have shown up, and there are loud sirens going off like an air raid warning or something. Black Star finds himself grinning at that thought, because from everything he's read about zombies, they're attracted to sound, and there are no huge sirens by his apartment.

"We'll go to my apartment," he says to Tsubaki, glancing up at her. She looks pale but determined, staring out the windows at the panic and chaos. People are running, tripping, screaming, being eaten. Vans have pulled up along with the cop cars and are directing everyone to the local high school as the evacuation center. Black Star scoffs at the thought; he'd broken into the high school several times before and it was hardly the safest place. At least at his apartment they could lock the door. Hell, you had to be buzzed to get in unless you had a key.

"But they—the school," she says, brows furrow once more, stopping just before the glass door that is broken in several places. Just outside there is a zombie munching on a man's intestines, and Black Star looks away from it sharply, back to Tsubaki. She, of course, had noticed too, and he says her name three times before she looks at him.

"We'll be safer at my place."

She swallows and nods, then wheels him through the door, taking a second to stare the zombie tearing the man apart. It seems pretty distracted by its food so it doesn't notice them. It certainly doesn't notice them when Tsubaki stomps on its head repeatedly, face livid and fists clenched.

By the time they start moving, her running and pushing him, the zombie is motionless.

She tells him a block away from his apartment that she has to make sure her brother is alright.

"Just call him," Black Star says, keeping his eyes peeled for any of the zombies. So far he's only seen one, but it was picking away at a dog so they'd gotten by without incident. The only things rushing down the road are cars packed with families and pets, heading to the evacuation center. Black Star shakes his head, muttering "idiots," under his breath. Above him, Tsubaki moves one hand to the middle of his chair, fingers brushing against his spine as she pulls her phone out of her pocket.

He listens to her speak in rapid Japanese to her brother. He can only pick up on some of it, not used to hearing it so fast and not really used to hearing it at all anymore (his mom used to speak it to him when he was younger, and he had watched a fuckton of anime in his teens). He catches dead people and friend but that's about it. The rest he tunes out, hoping she's not talking too loud that the zombies will hear.

Tsubaki snaps something that he definitely understands and it's really surprising to hear from her. Sure, she sometimes gets a little mean when playing games, but that's different. She hangs up with an aggravated sigh, shoving her phone back into her pocket.

"Damn, Tsubaki," Black Star whistles, peering up at her with a leer. "I didn't know you had it in you."

She looks vaguely apologetic and still very annoyed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

They move quickly and silently, only stopping once when a woman in a van pulls over, demanding they get in her car so she can bring them to the evacuation center. Black Star can see that Tsubaki is tempted, hands tightening around the handles of his chair, and then the woman says, "Those things bite! One got my husband and he's not doing too well." She points to the man sitting beside her in the passenger seat, and Black Star can see his bloodshot eyes and teeth that are sharper than normal.

"Nah, we're good. We just gotta head home and get the dog and then we'll be there, no worries. Thanks though, lady."

Tsubaki swallows audibly, nodding at the woman. "Yes, thank you."

She begins pushing him again, quicker this time. "Those people will die."

Black Star knows. Black Star could see that the poor lady in that van knew too, but she wasn't leaving her husband behind to become one of those things. The city is going to shit around them, and hopefully this is the only place doing so, though with luck the whole fucking world would be taken over by the undead by sundown. Not knowing if she wanted reassurance or not, Black Star nods anyway, beginning to push himself when she stops. "Yeah, they will.

Her brother doesn't answer the phone the next time she calls, which seems like a big deal to her, but Black Star doesn't really give a fuck. He's more focused on getting his shit together and making sure the hunting guns his father had left him are in working condition. He's got a shitton of other things to check too, but the guns are his main priority. And if Tsubaki would stop fretting over her phone and helped gather the shit together, they'd be able to go and hunt her brother down.

"The cell towers are probs' down," Black Star snaps over his shoulder, and then feels bad when Tsubaki shoots a withering look in his direction. He's not trying to be insensitive, but fuck man; priorities.

"I know I'm just…he's a police officer so…" She shakes her head, stuffing her phone in her pocket. He can still see that she's worried, it's all over her face, but she also has a determined look in her eyes that makes Black Star hot. "Sorry, Black Star. What do you need me to do?"

She's got her arms crossed over her chest, just under her massive tits, and Black Star waves in the general direction of the closet. "Leg?"

"Um…"

Her eyes dart down to his legs and he flushes, pulling himself back together. Priorities, he repeats in his mind over and over. Goddammit.

"My prosthesis."

"Oh," Tsubaki nods, already at the closet, pulling the doors open. He watches her for a moment to gauge her reaction, grinning when her mouth falls open.

"Are these…do they work?"

"Eh, a few glitches," he says. The guns are piled on the desk along with the rest of his arsenal; a few homemade bombs, a baseball bat, the katana he'd ordered offline years ago, his dad's hunting guns, and a few knives. Tsubaki looks at them, at him, and back at his prosthesis', then frowns.

"You're awfully prepared for this…"

"Are you kidding?" He laughs, wheeling toward her. She's still frowning prettily, but he lips do quirk up a bit at the sound of his laugh. "This is a nerd's wet dream. Zombies?" He reaches for his baby, the prosthesis with a cooler, and a Taser, and wheels himself back around, rolling his pant leg up. "Who doesn't love zombies?"

Tsubaki is quiet when she comes around, kneeling down in front of him to roll up the pant leg easier. Her fingers brush against his knee as she does so, and he barely suppresses a shiver. So fucking lame, he berates himself, attaching the prosthesis himself and allowing her to do up the buckles for him.

He tests it out for a moment, moving his foot, extending his leg. Tsubaki stands at his side, hands clasped tightly in front of her. "You can…move well with that on?"

"Sure fuckin' can." He grins, pushing himself out of his chair and to his feet. The first few moments find him a bit wobbly, but he regains his bearings and makes his way to the desk, Tsubaki close behind. "Alright, ShadowStag, let's get this shit in some duffel bags and go look for your brother." He checks the mini-fridge under his desk, then, "Also, we'll have to stop somewhere, I'm out of Monsters."

Beside him, Tsubaki sighs.

"That is…a lot of zombies…"

Black Star finishes his third Monster, feeling jittery and awake and so fucking pumped. There is nothing better than a good workout after putting his foot on. He grins and tightens his fist around the handle of his baseball bat.

Tsubaki shifts next to him, back pressing against the brick wall, looking faintly sick. The katana in her hand is unsheathed and steady in her grip.

"It sure is," Black Star whispers, stepping out from behind the dumpster they'd hidden behind, carefully picking his way through the alley. Directly across from them is Tsubaki's small house she shares with her brother, and while he doesn't think it's the best idea to go running in there half-cocked, he doesn't think it's a bad idea either. They had to get their feet wet sometime, right?

"Let me go first." He stops abruptly, partially because one of the freaks in the mouth of the alley has begun to move and the other because he wanted to feel her—

He swings his bat into the side of the zombie's head, careful not to let it hit the wall. The last thing he needs would be a fucking clang to alert every dead thing on the street that he is there.

Tsubaki groans quietly behind him but doesn't toss her cookies again. The zombie on the ground twitches a bit, head only partially caved in, and Tsubaki steps on it as hard and quietly as she can, caving the rest of it in. Blood and gore rise up around her foot, staining the boot darker. Black Star grins.

They'd gone over the game plan on the way over. Black Star figured sneaking the fuck around would waste too much time, and it'd be easier to just run straight across. He would hold them off and she would unlock the door, and when it came time to get the fuck outta there, the houses beside it were close enough to jump to if the back door was blocked.

He just hoped her brother was in there and not fucked up like the rest of these poor guys. He hopes this isn't a goose chase.

"Ready, ShadowStag?"

She makes an affirmative noise in the back of her throat, and Black Star doesn't waste any time, darting out of the alley as fast as he can, ducking under any wandering hands, ignoring his own pounding heart and the slight ache as his leg adjusts to the prosthesis again.

Behind him he can hear the sound of the katana slicing through air. He finds it really sexy that she knows how to use the thing, though he shouldn't have been surprised. She told him her family descended from samurai once when they were trying to show off in a forum. Using that thing must have been ingrained in her goddamn blood.

He swings his bat wildly when the zombies begin to come closer. The two of them are making enough of a scene to draw them from halfway down the block, and Black Star wonders if they should have just gone along with Tsubaki's plan to come in the back way. He doesn't say this out loud, of course, because his idea is still good. Hers just might have been...

"How ya doin'?" He calls back, cackling as he slams his bat into a zombie's stomach, pushing him back into two others. He doesn't take his eyes off his path. A few more—yes, he snaps the head off the zombie's body that blocks the gate to Tsubaki's front yard and feels a surge of adrenaline when he does so. He is so fucking boss.

He hops over the gate, grinning when he watches the other zombies trying to get over—shitshitshit one of them—"ShadowStag, let's go!"

Tsubaki hops over the fence a few seconds later, breathless and not all that graceful, but Black Star focuses more on the zombie's intent on climbing over the fence. "Get that door unlocked!"

"Shut—" she gasps for breath, fingers fumbling with the key, "—up. Please."

Black Star kicks a zombie in the knee, wincing at the crack that he hears. Several of them are already in the yard, and he runs backward toward the door, intent on just breaking the fucking thing down—

"There," she breathes behind him, a hand grasping his collar and pulling him backward. He chokes a bit, growls something about pushy women and then finds himself ass-up in the foyer of her house, the door slamming behind him. The lock clicks into place.

The only sounds are the pounding on the door and their harsh breathing. Black Star presses his warm forehead against the hardwood floor, smelling whatever cleaner Tsubaki or her brother had recently used.

She moves before he does, stepping tentatively around him, katana held loosely in her grip. "Masamune?" She calls softly into the house, but if there is any reply it is drowned out by the shrieks outside, the pounding on the door and windows. "Masamune, are you here?"

The thought suddenly occurs to Black Star. Her brother is a cop.

"He's at the fucking evacuation center," Black Star groans, pushing to his feet, knee cracking. "He's at the fucking evacuation center because he's a fucking cop—"

"No," she shakes her head, brows furrowed, mouth set in a line. "He was ill this weekend and couldn't make it to work, so he took the day off. I almost didn't come to meet up with you today because I wanted to take care of him, but he told me just to go…"

"So he's here?"

"He should be."

Black Star comes up beside her, eyes peeled for anything suspicious. Her house is clean, which is no surprise, but it also smells a little. Like…like cleaner. "What's that smell?"

Tsubaki lets out a rattling breath, gripping her weapon more tightly. "Pinesol, but I don't know why it would—unless he vomited and cleaned it up? I can't think of any other reason—"

"Ts…Tsubaki…?" The voice is faint, watery. The voice is obviously her brother's, and Black Star watches it all happen in slow motion.

She darts forward, opening a door a few feet away, only to fall back as another body falls overtop her, hair quickly turning white, skin a grey pallor, and teeth near her neck.

Black Star kicks him off without thinking, grabbing Tsubaki under the armpits and dragging her back toward him. She's breathing harshly, but a quick look at her neck shows that she hadn't been bitten.

Her brother spasms on the floor, vomiting black blood, eyes red and dangerous; Black Star hopes that the Taser fucking hurt.

"Go," he snaps harshly, snapping his teeth at the both of them. "Go."

I've gotta kill him, Black Star realizes. Tsubaki is frozen in front of him, and he wouldn't make her do it anyway. He might be a god, but he isn't a cruel one. Usually.

Well, not to his most loyal follower. And ShadowStag is his most loyal follower.

He starts forward, pulling the bat up and resting it on his shoulder. "Tsubaki, you should go get some clothes or something that you want to bring with you. I'll—"

"Let me, please."

Black Star stops a foot away from her brother, eyebrows furrowed. He doesn't take his eyes off Masamune, but he wants to. Is she serious? She wants to be the one to kill her brother? He knows that she's strong, but is she strong enough to do this?

"ShadowStag—"

"Black Star."

Swallowing, he steps back, watches her step forward, katana held high. "Would you…" her voice is quiet but doesn't waver for a second. Her face is empty, eyes hard and Black Star gives her mad props for this. "The door behind me, on the left- it's my room. Would you wait in there for me?"

Any other time Black Star would be all over that. Waiting in a girl's room? Sure. Waiting alone and having the chance to check through her underwear drawer? Even better. But this is different. She isn't coming in there to—they aren't—

He nods tightly, casting one last glance at the still man on the ground. Masamune's eyes are lifted, resting on ShadowStag. The last thing he sees before he enters her room is his mouth open, muttering, Tsubaki.

Twenty minutes later Tsubaki is changed into something more appropriate to run around in, and a small backpack is filled with essentials. Black Star doesn't peek on her when she asks him to turn around, no matter how much he wants to. It's almost like he's letting himself down, he thinks later, and if this is his last chance to see some nice tits, then he really has let himself down, but he respects Tsubaki and all that shit and she'd trusted him not to look, yada, yada, yada.

"Where to now?" She asks as she wipes the blood off her blade with a shirt. Black Star stares out the window, noting that while many of the zombies that congregated at the doors and windows in front of the house had left, quite a few of them had stayed. He twirls his phone around in his hand, agitated. This was such a waste of time. He feels bad for thinking it, yeah, but he should have known. The towers wouldn't have gone down so fast. Hell, the news was still on, they'd watched it five minutes earlier.

Slumping back against the pillows, Black Star sighs. "Fuck if I know."

"Maybe we should go to the evacuation center, like they said on the news. The whole state is on red alert—"

"It's not just here," Black Star presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, scowling at nothing. "It's fucking everywhere. There probably isn't a safe place left. Going to the evacuation center is stupid too. There'll be so much noise that every single one of those freaks'll be there in a day, if they aren't on their way now."

"Well," Tsubaki says icily. He stares at her as she turns away, shoulders taut, "When you decide to give an idea instead of shooting mine down, feel free. Until then, we'll stay here."

"Well," Black Star mimics back, "If we didn't have to fucking come here then we'd be safe at my fucking apartment."

Tsubaki slumps, dropping the katana to the floor and putting her face in her hands. He doesn't think she's crying, but he doesn't think she's too far from it. "I know. I'm sorry. I thought he'd be okay, but I should have known and now he's dead and now we don't have anywhere to go or a way out of here and it's all messed up. I mean, I don't even—we're only—how are we going to survive out there?"

Black Star freezes when he hears the hitch in her voice. This is so not his thing, not even a little bit. Gods aren't supposed to comfort their followers; they're supposed to put the fear of god into them. That way they never cry and for fuck's sake, he wouldn't have said anything if he knew it'd make her feel that bad. He doesn't try to be a bastard, it just comes naturally!

Scooting forward, her brings his left leg up under him and lets his right leg hang off the bed. Nearly sitting on top of her, Black Star rests a hand on her shoulder, massaging it lightly. "Uh, Shadow—Tsubaki, I was just dickin' around. I'm not really…it's good we came here to uh, make sure and shit. Wouldn't it suck if he were actually okay and stuck here and shit and we didn't show up? Heh…"

She lets out a weird noise that has him cringing and massaging harder. "Not that—I mean. Fuck me, okay, what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry, it was a stupid thing for me to say, and I need you to not hate me or pull some goddamn damsel shit and run off on your own and get yourself killed because I need my right hand uh, woman. And we can just pretend this is like Sword Art Online or some shit. Okay? So let's pull ourselves together and get the fuck outta here okay? Okay."

She's silent and still for a few moments, and then she lets out a long breath, running her hands through her hair, pulling out the tie and re-doing it. "Okay."

"Awesome." He grins, sliding off the bed and grabbing her hand. He's relieved to find that they're both sweaty.

more on the way!