Lesson Number Ten

Sam pressed his right thumb into his left palm, feeling the scar that had been left there, trying to see if what was happening right now was just another hallucination. It just didn't seem real at all. He looked at his brother Dean who was sitting in a chair staring at the door of the room that had been barred to them for the last couple of hours. Sam could tell that this was very real but he just didn't want to believe it. After everything they had been through and this had to happen.

It had started out with a typical hunt, well if you count an Oni uprising a typical hunt. The village that the three of them had paid a visit to several years before had suffered strange deaths of its people. As the named 'ruler' of that group of Oni demons, she was obliged to return to the village and discover what was going on.

Sam was not sure when they started venturing into shades of grey with the things they hunted. She said it was because of him and his pointing out the power of choice. Then again it was pretty much grey area when she joined them. She joined up with them and they just became a team… more than a team. They were family and to him she was more than that.

They investigated and examined the bodies. The situation was precarious since there was evidence the attacks were from a rival clan and war was on the horizon. She wanted to avoid it at all costs since they already had their plates full with Leviathans. The other leaders were blaming each other and she kept insisting this was what the guilty party wanted.

She always was trying to fix things. When Dean was going to hell, she tried to fix it by finding ways to get him out of it. When he was pumped up with demon blood, she tried to fix that as well. Granted he wasn't listening at the time but she kept at it in her own way and through Dean. When he started the Apocalypse she said it was okay and they could fix it.

Someone was coming and Sam looked up from his thoughts aware that his brother was doing the same thing. It was a servant girl who went right past them bringing… bandages? Sam reached for his palm again and pressed on the scar. His brother's tension didn't subside but that panicked calm was just as unnerving. Sam went back to his pacing as he rubbed his palm again and again.

Dean watched his brother pace and rub his palm. This was hard for him but it seemed doubly worse for Sam and he didn't blame him. Out of all the crap they faced together, this had to happen and to her. He wanted to shout at the heavens and say that it wasn't fair because hell it wasn't. All she did was try to fix a situation like she always did. Now he was here doing the one thing he hated when it came to things like this and his brother was pacing as if trying to convince himself that this wasn't happening.

Dean never said much in terms of affection when it came to her. Yet she always seemed to know and she even took pleasure in making him suffer in order to drag it out of him. He said she made things seem not so bad no matter how things were and that was true. Yet her ability to fix broken things was a gift. Hell she was the driving force in fixing his and Sam's relationship after they split up over the whole starting the Apocalypse. She fixed his faith in himself even after he admitted that he couldn't let Sam down when he almost said yes and that was when she was nearly broken completely.

Sam fixed that. That was the truth in Dean's eyes. He could have said things and she would have valued them but it was Sam that fixed her after their stint in heaven. It drove her to keep on going again to fix the game plan they came up with to end the Apocalypse. Of course that meant the pit and the cage. She even tried to fix Cas and set him straight right up to the end. Then she helped to fix Sam when the wall came down. Dean knew that Sam made him block number one but she was the stuff that held the block together and everything else. Hell if she went, they all went but that wasn't going to happen.

Dean turned to look at Sam who finally stopped pacing and sat in the other empty chair. They had never gotten used to the way people sat on their heels so this was an accommodation and one gladly given. Sam looked ridiculous the first time he tried to fold his long legs like she showed them the first time. At least Sam stopped pacing but he was still rubbing his hand. "It'll be all right Sammy."

Sam looked at his brother and paused in his rubbing. Dean always tried to reassure him. Hell he had learned a bit from her in trying to fix things. He still bumbled in it a few times but he tried. That was another thing that she fixed though she would say it was a work in progress. He replied, "You think so? They got us bad Dean. Real bad and…"

"Hey, she'll be okay. We've had worse," Dean replied. It sounded better than what he was feeling but Sam needed that reassurance. "She'll be up and about and back to fixing things." He paused for a moment. He wasn't sure if it was right in him saying it but a look at his brother and he realized that Sam needed to hear it. He took a breath and then added, "She keeps going because of you. Yeah she likes me but it's you Sam. It's always been you since she hooked up with us."

Sam didn't say anything but felt his throat convulse with the emotions thick in it. Dean was right in that she was a fighter but Dean was wrong. It was because of both of them that she was still standing and still sane as she would put it. "Dean…"

Finally the door opened and the old busybody they met the last time came out. Her no nonsense face was held in a grim line as she came out. Sam stood up immediately. He held his breath as she called him by the nickname only she and Dean were allowed to use, "Sammy-san…"

Sam felt his heart drop but that was nothing compared to what he started seeing. Lucifer was standing right next to the old busybody and he was giving that sly smirk. He said, "I told her she couldn't save them all just like you can't save her. Not this time."

Sam peeked past and saw nothing but the long table. There was a body and the sheet covering it. He could see a large bloodstain. He desperately put his thumb to his palm. It couldn't be but Lucifer was there smirking at him.

~0~0~

Sam's eyes shot open as he gasped for air. For a moment he was disoriented at where he was until he noticed the stupid lamp from the crummy motel room they checked into for the night sitting on the nightstand. It was then he remembered. They were on their way south back to the village but not because of an uprising but a council to unite against the Leviathans.

He sat up slowly trying not to make too much noise and leaned against the headboard. He rubbed his eyes and then his head trying to figure out if it was just Lucifer messing with him again or if it was something else that was on his mind. He held his head with one hand and stared at nothing in particular. Lucifer's voice was still taunting him.

"Sam?"

Great. He hadn't wanted to wake her. She had enough on her plate with where they were going and the trouble they ran into on the way there. He probably woke her the minute he started seeing Lucifer. It wouldn't surprise him. He mumbled, "Sorry for waking you."

Angela sat up wide awake even though she had been in deep slumber just minutes before. She peered at Sam as he stared downwards knowing that he really wasn't seeing anything. She knew he was trying and he did well during the day. It was the nighttime that was the current bumpy road he was on. He had good nights and bad nights just as she did when they cropped up. She heard his apology and with a soft smile she reached out with her left hand and ran her fingers through his locks. His reaction caught her by surprise when he grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace coupled by a kiss that was more forceful than he probably meant it to be. Whatever it was had him shaken badly. As soon as her lips were free and she was pulled into a second embrace which put a little too much pressure on the bruised ribs she managed to get out, "That bad?"

When the realization hit that she was still there and alive and well by her touch, Sam reacted in the best way that reflected his relief. He did realize that he was squeezing a little too tight and released her. "I'm sorry."

It was bad. Angela took a breath to stretch her ribs and replied, "Hey it's okay." She ran her fingers through his locks again. "You want to talk about it?"

Sam inwardly cursed. He didn't want to bother her but he knew that it was more like an order than a request even though she would respect his answer if he said no. He was left with little choice when she tugged and put his head in her lap and she started that head stroking thing she did whenever he or Dean had a head problem or, in Dean's case, when he had a broken leg. He started describing his dream/nightmare becoming soothed by the stroking.

She didn't even pause when he mentioned the last part that woke him up. She didn't say anything until he finished. She asked her usual question, "Why did you see what you saw?"

That was part of the routine set of questions she would go through whenever he was completely not sure of what was real or not. He didn't fail to realize that it was the same set of questions he used to ask her before the wall came down. He couldn't see her face but he could tell that she was waiting patiently. He replied, "Well… we are going back to the village and I was remembering our last time there. Then there was that thing we just finished… that werewolf. You got hit pretty bad."

"What else?"

Sam had always been comfortable telling her his feelings even when he took nearly forever to tell her how he felt about her. This though, he probably was laboring under the delusion that if he said it, that it would come true, and it had him scared. "I probably was thinking about being in the cage again. That and coupled with the fear of losing you…" He then remembered something he heard a long time ago and it came from the least likely source.

It was the time Gabriel the Archangel paid him a visit and badgered him into admitting his feelings. The angel had him admit that he was afraid that if he got too close he would lose her but the angel said that was highly unlikely. That combined what dream Dean said about why she kept going. Was it really that simple?

"Well I think you know that the risk of death is high in this job. Dwelling on it can break a person until there is nothing left unless someone fixes it." Angela continued to stroke Sam's head. She couldn't fix what was going on inside. That was something he had to do but she could help him figure it out. He had several things going for him. All she could do was to show him what was there. He had to reach out and take it.

It clicked for Sam what she had been teaching him and Dean for a long time. She probably didn't see it like he was seeing it but he could see and understand why that witch made her regress into a four year old. She fixed things but there was one thing that drove her to do it. Well she did admit it as much when she confessed her feelings for him but this… He replied, "It's not someone but something."

"What is that?" Angela wasn't quite sure which direction Sam was going with this but she was going to follow. She just had to ask questions and let him figure it out.

Sam turned his body so that he could look up into Angela's face. He tried not to grimace at the bruise on her cheek along with the cut right in the middle of it. It would be gone by the time they got to the village. Instead he focused on what he wanted to say. "Love."

Sam watched as she gave a slight frown. She probably didn't see it or she was thinking he went off his rocker. He explained, "It took me a while but I think that was the point of the dream or nightmare. I know you've done a lot for us Angie… way more than even really close friends and Dean said it best when he said we were family. You once said that the things you did was because of love; love for me, for Dean and Bobby and everyone else but you were also teaching something. Maybe you didn't know it at the time but you did."

Angela was starting to piece together what he was trying to get at. Sam said she taught him something? She was curious and if it helped to assuage any fears he had she would take it. She would do anything because her love ran that deep. "What did I just teach you?"

"Been teaching," Sam corrected. "Love can fix even the most wrecked of things. You've been showing me and Dean that ever since you joined up with us. You tried to fix the thing with Dean's deal, the demon blood thing, the Apocalypse, everything. Even when Cas brought the wall down, you tried fixing it. Your care for others… it puts everyone to shame because even when they push you away, you still do it because you love." He gave a wry smile as he put a hand up to grasp one of her hands. Instinctively his first finger and thumb rubbed her right ring finger. "I'm not making much sense am I? Maybe the Denver scramble is even more scrambled."

Angela just smiled. She never thought of it that way before. Sam knew she would move mountains if she could for him and Dean because she loved them but with the little things like repairing their relationship and trying to preserve it by promoting honesty… she could see why he would think she was teaching them that. Maybe she did teach one of the most important lessons ever to cross a lifetime. The funny thing was that she wasn't even aware of it and it had to take a bad dream and a 'Sam talk' to tell it to her. She replied, "No. You're right. I think some of the most important lessons in life come from things we aren't even aware of until we really think about it."

Sam replied, "Finally I got you to admit that you didn't know something." He gave a tired and teasing smile. The talk eased his mind and he was getting tired and he was sure she was too. "And you helped to fix this broken grapefruit."

Angela replied softly with a slight smile, "Shut up Sam. Get some sleep." Then to mean what she said, she continued stroking his head with her free hand and started humming one of her songs that she knew would put him to sleep even though he hadn't heard it since he was a baby.

Sam recognized the tune and knew that she meant it. He gave a soft smile at her and took the hand he had been holding and kissed the underside of her wrist where her tattoo was. He closed his eyes and when she finished the tune, he added his own words making her chuckle before falling asleep.

A/N: And here we come to the last of the "Lessons" family though Sam, Dean and Angie would agree that the lessons never really end. A special thanks to SPNMum for suggesting the theme to this lesson. I know the Winchesters and Angie thank you as well.