I.

It was Christmas Eve and the Mayoral Mansion was deeply shrouded in silence, as it had been for almost a year now. Regina remembered when a still baby-faced six year old Henry would beg her to help him make cookies for Santa, running around between the living room and the kitchen, too impatient to simply wait for the cookies to finish baking in the oven.

Her memories of recent Christmas evenings, though, told a completely different story. The holiday had become burdened with all the accusation and guilt between mother and son, Henry's inability to let go of his vision of Regina as the Evil Queen, and Regina's profound anguish over the rejection her lies had brought to their once peaceful and loving home.

This year, Regina could finally hope for something better. Even though Henry would be spending his Christmas Eve evening at the Charming's, with Emma and his grandparents, he had requested that Emma drove him back early the next morning so he could open his present and eat his special Christmas breakfast — hot chocolate with extra chocolate, a special treat, and a stack of pancakes sprinkled with powdered sugar to imitate the snow outside — as tradition dictates in the Mills family.

"Oh sweetheart, you know that you're always welcome to your home." And then smiles had been exchanged between mother and son, and for a moment it was like the past two years didn't happen and Henry was back being the little kid who gazed up at his mommy with wide eyes full of admiration.

The simple, yet powerful, request had brought tears to Regina's eyes and when she glanced up at Emma, who had witnessed the exchange, the blonde smiled at her, pride and happiness shining in the green hue of her eyes. It should've surprised Regina, and if it were a few months ago, she would've even been suspicious of the blonde's intentions, but being stuck in Neverland and working together to get their son back had formed a new, stronger bond between them — it almost felt like trust —, closer to a true friendship as Regina had ever known all her life.

Regina wasn't even going to bother with cooking dinner tonight. She'd just settle on her couch with a glass or two of her cider, watching some of those ridiculous Christmas movies this world seems to be so fond of — she swears the same movies have been on repeat for a few decades now — and waiting for sleep to claim her. There's a slow burning anxiousness creeping inside of her at the prospect of spending the next morning with Henry, just the two of them, all of his undivided attention and love, if for a few hours only.

She flicked through countless TV channels, her restlessness never allowing her to settle for one; they all seemed too cheesy and unnecessary — all she wanted was to be with her son tonight, listening to his unwavering fascination for the holiday season. She set down the remote for the night, and not caring of what was on the TV, she let the sounds and the blurs lull her to a light sleep. She could hear little children playing in the snow, a parents' warning to be careful, followed by a thud and then a laugh. She opened her eyes for a moment and on the screen she could see a mother and her little girl on the floor, laughing together for no other apparent reason than their happiness.

Regina wondered what it was like to let happiness consume one self so easily. Was it ever easy for anyone? She'd been struggling with the effort to simply let go for longer than she can remember, if not for herself, then for her son. The sting of tears was quick to come when she thought, not for the first time, that her cold demeanor, her self-imposed distance might be keeping away new heartbreak for her, but it was also in the way of her happy ending.

Her eyes closed, heavy with the tears that were now falling down her cheeks, and the last thing Regina saw before she fell asleep was Henry's first smile.

Regina was met with silence when she opened her eyes again. At first, still drowsy, the silence was nothing more than her familiar companion. She glanced at the wall clock on the opposite wall of the living room: twenty minutes past midnight.

Her eyes quickly took notice of the man on her TV, not saying anything, just standing there as if he was waiting for something. As soon as she met his eyes though, his mouth curved into a smile.

"Hello, Regina."

It was so unexpected that Regina almost yelped. Shifting uncomfortably in her couch, she grimaced at this strange man, who seemed to be talking directly to her. Was this another one of Rumplestiltskin's tricks? Had her television been turned into a magic mirror?

"I know you're wondering who I am and what am I doing here."

Too dumbstruck to say anything in return, Regina remained uncharacteristically quiet.

"You can say I'm here to give you what you want. You can call it Christmas spirit, if you'd like."

Something in the man's words and warm smile unnerved Regina. "I don't want anything you might offer. Please leave my house."

The man chuckled, not unkindly, but as if he'd been expecting that answer from her. "Very well. You might not want anything but what about what you need?"

Regina frowned. She knew exactly what she wanted and what she needed. Her wants and needs, her happiness, were all in the small hands of the baby boy she had adopted eleven years ago. Since then, she had told herself she wouldn't want for nothing else. And she didn't. He was her everything.

"You should really refrain from making such assumptions about myself. I have everything I could possibly ever wish or need for. I have my son."

The man didn't hesitate and in an overconfident tone, he offered, "What if I could give you, let's say… a glimpse?"

"A glimpse?"

The man explained. "Yes, a glimpse of a life that could be yours. If only you let it be."

Regina's patience grew smaller and smaller with the man's nonsense. He reminded her of Rumplestiltskin, speaking in riddles and offering deals that always sounded too good to be true — and they were. Magic always comes with a price, she reminded herself.

Many had promised her a happy ending but soon she had learned to fight for what she wanted, for relying on others only brought her more pain.

"Well, that sounds really interesting but I'm gonna decline the offer. Goodnight."

She made a move for the remote laying on the far end of the couch so she could turn off the television at once.

Before she could press the power off on the remote, the man said, "Just remember, you brought this on yourself."

And that was the last thing Regina heard before she was surrounded by darkness.

Waking up had always been a lazy routine for Regina. She liked to luxuriate for a few moments in the warmth of her bed, the softness of her sheets. Often she'd wake up when the sun was still slowly rising and she liked to relinquish in the hazy orange glow that painted her room. It was the slowest moment of her day and for those first few minutes, Regina allowed herself to simply feel.

Just as she made a move to stretch, she heard a mumbled voice. "Noooo… Regina, it's Christmas… let's sleep… longer…"

It's then that she registered the sound of cartoons resonating through the mansion's walls and the weight of a body pressing down on her left side.

She opened her eyes. "Miss Swan!?"

The woman had either failed to hear Regina or had just completely ignored her because she just cuddled closer, effectively trapping Regina underneath her, an arm and a leg thrown across her body.

She looked down at the mess of blonde hair on top of her chest before she moved her eyes up to take in her surroundings. At least, she was still in her bedroom.

Before Regina was able to push off the blonde woman and get out of bed, there was a thundering sound of footsteps approaching her bedroom and her first instinct was to yell out for Henry to "stop running inside the house!" but the little girl who came bursting inside her room was very much not her 11-year old son.

"Momma! Mommy! It's Christmas! Get up! Get up!"

And then a blur of black hair jumped into her bed, disturbing the sleeping blonde and effectively moving her off of Regina. She took the opportunity to get up and now aware of her scantily clad body (she couldn't remember sleeping in just her underwear for many years, not even when Graham stayed over for the night), she searched for some clothes nearby. There was a pile of them on the chair at the corner of the room and she didn't care that it was some ugly red hoodie and grey sweats — that most probably belonged to Miss Swan, of course — she just needed to get out of there. Quickly.

Ignoring the "You know if you want pancakes you'll have to ask your— Regina?" and "Momma? Where are you going?", she left the room, a headache brewing behind her eyes and a shortness of breath not unfamiliar from that one time she had a panic attack, the night after Daniel died, and she woke up still seeing her mother's hand squeezing his heart into dust.

She hurried downstairs in hopes that maybe, maybe this would all be some remnant of last night's weird dream (an old man offering her a new life — as if it were that simple to just start over for someone like her). She hoped that when she got downstairs, her son would already be there, waiting for her with a hopeful smile in his face meaning he was going to beg for something sugary for breakfast until she had no other choice but to give in, because she once promised him she would do anything to make him happy.

Unfortunately, the only ones to greet her once she reached the foyer were those two idiots, Charming and Snow White, smiling at her behind a pile of presents. That was when she began to wonder if she was not stuck in some sort of nightmare.

Only in her worst nightmares did Snow White offer her a smile and a "Good morning, Regina! Merry Christmas!" in her annoyingly cheerful way that made Regina want to gauge off her eyes.

Regina didn't even bother saying anything back; she just huffed and pushed them off her way. She was going to go outside, drive to Granny's to get the biggest dose of caffeine possible and then she was going to pick up her son at Emma's place. Simple. A solid plan that would guarantee that when she got home she would be completely awake and no longer half-dreaming, half-delusional.

Except that plan failed pretty spectacularly when she noticed a pretty big something missing from her driveway. "Where's my Mercedes!?"

She was nearly hysterical by then because in place of her beautiful, sleek Mercedes there was a freaking Prius parked. Well, she was certainly not going back inside to get the keys. So she walked all the way from Mifflin Street to Main, where a Christmas-themed Granny was fully packed, despite it being Christmas morning. Apparently fairytale characters can be coffee addicts too.

When she walked inside, she was immediately greeted by Ruby, who was wearing the shortest Mrs. Claus dress she had ever seen. Not that she had seen that many, anyway.

"Merry Christmas, Regina! Do you want your usual?" Ruby asked.

Regina nodded, ignoring the familiarity seeping through her tone. Miss Lucas and her had never been purposely hostile towards each other but being Snow White's best friend was enough to easily put her on Regina's "to avoid" list. Which seemed to include everyone in Storybrooke at the moment.

The only person who could've possibly improved her mood that morning would've been Henry. It was with him in her mind that she walked over to the counter and she asked Ruby to hurry up with her coffee order.

For some reason, Ruby laughed at that. "In a hurry to get back home to the wife and the kids, huh?"

Regina paled at the mention of a wife. "I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Lucas."

"Oh come on, Regina, everyone knows Emma and the little monsters have you completely whipped," Ruby said, completely nonchalant to Regina's internal panic attack. "I'm surprised you even came out of the house before they opened their presents."

Before she got to say anything — if she could've formed any coherent thoughts at the moment — Dr. Hopper walked in, and after the customary and quite honestly, annoying, "Merry Christmas!" greeting, he too asked Regina about her wife and their children.

Either this was some sort of elaborate prank that all of Storybrooke was in on — and who would dare to prank the Evil Queen? — or she had gotten married overnight. To Emma Swan, of all people.

"Why do I feel the need to tell you I'm Regina Mills, the mayor of Storybrooke, mother of Henry Mills?"

Dr. Hopper's cheery face morphed into one full of innocent confusion, no doubt his mind already trying to work what was wrong with her. From behind her, a laugh echoed.

"I don't know why, Madam Mayor, I think everyone in this town knows who you are. Did you magically turn into someone else overnight?"

That caught Regina's immediate attention. "I knew it. I'm already in on your little scheme, Miss Lucas. You can stop with this ridiculous joke right this moment."

Ruby's playful stance quickly disappeared after that and from the corner of her eye Regina could see her and Dr. Hopper exchange a quick look.

"Regina… what are you talking about?" Ruby asked, confusion evident in her tone.

"Nevermind, Miss Lucas."

She turned around to leave the diner before the conversation went any further, because the last thing Regina Mills likes is feeling confused, and she appreciates even less feeling that there's something that she's clearly missing. That or these people must have been really making fun of her, which she's obviously not a big fan of either.

Ruby and Dr. Hopper both called out for her but that didn't stop her from stepping out of the diner and closing the door right on their faces.

"Y'know, in my defense, I did warn you."

Maybe it was the unexpectedness of hearing someone in an otherwise empty street. Maybe it was the familiarity of a voice she thought belonged to her dreams. But Regina Mills jumped on the spot.

She turned around to find the old man from her dream… inside her Mercedes.

"Excuse me, that's my car!"

"I think your car has been a Prius for approximately… 5 years now?"

This man had the guts to take a teasing tone with her. She had ripped out hearts for less. "I don't appreciate your tone, old man."

The man smiled. "Please come inside the car. It's really cold outside."

Regina conceded, settling uncomfortably on the passenger's side — a first in all of the 28 years she has owned a car — and the man's smile didn't disappear, as if he thought of her harmless, she decided on a different approach. "Alright, how much do you want so you can end this?"

The man simply frowned back at her. "How much?"

Regina scoffed, her low levels of patience being tested to the limit. "Money. Currency. Dollars. Or do you deal in euros? Because let me tell you I won't—"

She was rudely interrupted by the man's laugh. The old fart was actually laughing at her. He clearly had a death wish. Good. She had been willing to grant it to him approximately 5 minutes ago.

"It doesn't work like that. You need to figure things out," the man explained.

"Figure out what?"

The man reached inside his pocket and out of all the things Regina could imagine, he took out a bell, handing it to her as if it offered the answer to world peace. "Just let it come to you."

She waved the bell in front of his face. "And what is this for? Should I go around, ringing this bell and spreading Christmas cheer? Is this some sort of punishment? I'd rather sit through a 6-course dinner with Snow White."

"Let's take a walk and I'll explain it all to you."

Tired of not getting any reasonable explanations and ready to get this ridiculous situation over with, Regina hurried out of the car. She didn't have much time after she heard the sound of the car's motor working again. She quickly turned around to face the car. All she saw was the tail of her Mercedes speeding off.

Walking the way back to Mifflin Street took twice as long as it would usually take. By the time Regina could see the imposing white mansion, the sun was already high in the sun, unusually warm in the white landscape, full of snow left from what was one of Storybrooke's stormiest winters.

Lost in her thoughts, she was rather rudely pulled back from her (modesty aside) ingenious plan to escape the Charmings if they were still inside the mansion when she returned.

"Hey, Regina!" Miss Lucas. Of course.

"What the hell is it with people and accosting me in the middle of the street today?"

The girl looked disgruntled at Regina's tone, which she refused to apologize for. She was already having a terrible day, being forced to be nice to people was absolutely out of question.

"I'm sorry, Regina. I just wanted to ask if everything was okay, y'know." Ruby said. "You were acting a little weird back at the diner."

There was a long stretch of silence, or so it seemed so to Regina. She couldn't really explain what was happening to her. A glimpse of a life that could be yours, the man had said. And that was it. That was the only explanation the old man had offered her before she woke up married to Emma Swan and with Snow White and Prince Charming as her in laws.

Reason in her made her believe this could only be some sort of magical work. She had been transported to some sort of alternative reality where she was married to the other mother of her son, her no longer enemy, not quite yet friend. But what was the purpose of all of this? Why should she have to endure such an absurd situation? And most importantly, who was that old man and where had he taken her beloved Mercedes?

If she was going to be stuck in a world where she had to walk downstairs, in her own home, and find Snow White beaming at her, she deserved at least to have her Mercedes to run off with.

"You're not cheating on Emma… are you?"

Ruby's voice spilled into her mind like ice. Turning around so she could face the young woman better, Regina practically hissed, "And from where did that nonsensical thought sprout from, Miss Lucas?"

She clearly saw the girl flinch in fear of her tone. "Well… Emma— She's— We talked the other day. She said you've been spending a lot of time away from home. That you've been distant and getting home at some pretty late hours."

The sigh that emerged from Ruby was audible even at the distance Regina was standing from her. Like she was somehow relieved that she got that entire speech out without Regina yelling at her.

Regina let the girl continue. "And today, just right before you came to the diner, Emma called. She was worried sick because you had just ran out on her and your daughter on Christmas morning for no apparent reason."

Ruby's stance had gone from slightly fearful to fiercely protective. Protective of her friend against what she thought was a cheating spouse.

Before Regina got to say anything, reassuring Ruby that she wasn't cheating on anyone, she remembered. This wasn't her life. She couldn't be sure that the other Regina wasn't cheating on Emma and then she felt a pang of guilt. It was such nonsense, because she hadn't even wanted to be married to Emma in the first place, why should she feel any remorse for something she hadn't done to the other woman?

"Look, you don't have to say anything," Ruby offered. "But remember what you once said to me? When I was confused about my feelings for Belle?"

In her surprise, Regina barely contained her gasp. Apparently it wasn't just her relationships that this magical trip had affected. She couldn't remember Miss Lucas demonstrating any kind of feelings for Belle back at home. And did Rumplestiltskin know about this? She couldn't imagine him being much pleased about this little development.

Her musings were quickly interrupted. "Okay, so maybe you don't remember."

Ruby chuckled nervously, her gaze unfocused as if she was reliving something in her mind. "I still remember the exact same words. They meant a lot to me. Still do, actually."

"You said, 'Don't screw up the best thing in your life just because you're afraid of who you are.'"

The entire ordeal left Regina discombobulated. In less than 5 minutes she was confronted with the possibility that her other self might be cheating on a wife she now found herself married to, that Ruby Lucas might have more than friendly intentions toward Belle, and worse, not only she was now apparently friends with the werewolf, but they shared advice about their love lives. This was all positively disturbing.

She stopped a few minutes in the driveway of the mansion, simply staring at the white covering the otherwise lush greens of her carefully kept garden. The outside of her house looked exactly the same as she remembered but she knew what she was about to meet inside was completely different.

For the first time in her life, she wondered if she should knock on her own front door. Ultimately she decided that it would be best if she just went inside undetected.

Discreetly and as silently as possible, Regina opened the door to the mansion only to find it devoid of life. She was expecting grandiose Christmas' celebrations, the sound of children's cartoons resonating from the living room, just as it had been before she ran out. It was then that Regina took notice of the time, ticking away in a gallery clock hung just outside the entrance to the kitchen.

Twenty minutes past noon. She'd been away all morning.

Regina entered the kitchen, in the hopes of getting something to drink, to alleviate the dryness inside her mouth. All thoughts of fresh water ceased the moment she was met with a nearly hysterical Emma Swan. She couldn't recall a time where she had seen the woman this bedraggled since she had confronted Regina at the hospital, in the wake of Henry's accidental poisoning. In fact, she couldn't forget the desperation in the woman's voice, the pain echoing deep in the green irises. That was the first moment Regina saw Emma as Henry's other mother.

To feel that same worry coming from Emma but this time, directed entirely towards her, almost left Regina breathless.

"Oh my god— Regina's back." Emma nodded even though the person on the other side of the phone call couldn't possibly see her, hurriedly wiping away the tears on her face. "Yes, mom, I'll call you later. Thank you."

It was only after Emma ended the call that Regina began to feel the guilt building up inside her. For a moment Regina thought she was going to get yelled at but she's left to her immense surprise when all she felt was Emma's warmth surrounding her.

She was getting hugged. By Emma Swan.

Regina was in the middle of berating herself for enjoying the hug when Emma pulled back. "Do you have any idea what kind of worry you just put all of us through!?"

So she was getting yelled at after all. The urge to snap back and let Emma know that she still had no idea what was going and who even "all of us" included, however overwhelming it was, was quickly pushed down by a sob sounding from the blonde.

"What kind of person leaves her family on Christmas morning!?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about!" Regina protested. "I wasn't even meant to be here!"

Emma just stared at Regina, her mouth wide open, as if suddenly Regina had grown another head. "I can't believe this, Regina! I can't believe you're trying to make excuses even now."

Regina, in all of her hot-headedness tried to refute, to fight back but Emma just put a hand up, effectively halting all of her attempts.

"Don't even try. I'm really mad," Emma muttered, sounding more defeated than Regina had ever heard coming from such a strong woman.

"You missed the whole thing, the pancakes, the presents, your daughter's smile as she finally got the dollhouse she's been asking you for months now… You missed Christmas, Regina."

End of Part I.

Author's Notes: A huge thank you to Carole-Anne for supporting me while I wrote this and cheering me up immensely when I was feeling insecure about it.

I hope this was a good enough tease for what's to come, I'm planning on splitting this story into 3 parts with an epilogue but experience tells me the story always ends up getting out of control. Part 2 should be ready to post this Friday, the 27th.

Merry Christmas to everyone!