If there was a reason for walking the halls one last time,
she couldn't remeber then what it was. She couldn't remeber
why she decided she would go there, to see his face, and finally
see the eyes that haunt each dream and every single thought.
"He's in a meeting..", Randi spotted the younger girl, with
short, spiky red hair that looked off, like the look in her
eyes, the thing that made her drag her leg after her, hide
scars with the back of her hand that were on the side of
her face."I'll...tell him you're here"
If there was a reason for the crumbled paper in her pocket,
the warning from her mother that he wouldn't like her, wouldn't
give her the time of day, this man..this man was concerned with
him and only him, he'd hate her wrinkled clothes, the hair dye
that was only at the tips of her hair now, the crumbled paper
in her pocket.He'd hate her imperfections, she told her, holding
the framed baby picture close to her chest.
But it was something she had to do. Even her mother knew it.
****************
****************
"I don't know why I'm here, they said.."
"I was in a meeting. Do I know you?"
"You knew my mother"
"Did she die on my table..hey, come on. I have to ask.
I'm a surgeon.."
"No, she didn't die on your table"
"Right"
"You..were married to her. Actually, she died awhile back, I live
with a foster mother, I call her my mother, because I was small"
"I'm sorry"
"It's alright, I've moved past it now"
"I don't think so, you tracked me down"
"I tracked you down, because you're listed as my father
on my birth certificate"
***********************
***********************
Slow motion, the way he kept walking, small form, a wounded arm held
close to his body. There was a look in his eyes she'd seen before, the
look of the doctor who came down the very same hall, squinted his eyes.
"I'm sorry for your loss, we did what we could"
He kept walking, his voice booming in her ears, yelling at the woman
with a sour expression who followed behind him nonetheless. He stopped
in front of her, this small man with a wounded arm, the look of power
and anger in his eyes, stared her down."You're the one who wanted to see
me?"
She nodded, aware of the spinach and red lipgloss on her teeth. She
kept her hands in her pockets,suddenly aware of the chip in her second
coat of nailpolish, the tranish on her crackerjack ring.
"Do I know you?"
*********************
*********************
"You look just like her, the eyes"
"You remeber her?"
"I do"
"I was hoping you could.."
"I can't yet"
"That's really why I wanted to see you"
"You didn't want a father? Because I can't give it to you, so
I guess that's for the best"
"I wanted to know my mother"
"I'm sorry"
*********************
********************
"Keep walking", he answered, the hand that looked healthy, the one
with pink fingers, he gripped her wrist tight, pulling her along
side him, though they both knew the girl was big enough to pull
him to wherever she wanted him to stay.
"You don't have to do this", she answered quickly, remebering her
mother's words of panic. He made you panic, she couldn't understand
how people wanted him to heal them, he made her panic, made her
sweat and wonder if she was really good enough for him.
"Keep walking" he answered, dropping her arm, slowing his walk,
letting the girl get a good look at him,"Go ahead, ask"
"I don't..."
"Ask me what happened. I'll answer you" his eyes flashed with
resentment suddenly, and the girl tucked her arms behind
her back, turned her eyes to the floor like a little girl told
to watch her language."There was an accident. I lost my arm"
"But..."
"But what?" he snapped back. His eyes raged then, turning red,
the wrinkles on his forehead bunching up to make him look
like this grouchy old man, the ones who sat in the park and poked
at people with healthy feet with their canes, laughing as they
tripped and skinned their knees.
"It's there" she answered quietly.
His whole body seemed to mellow, his shoulders sank back down."They
tried to fix it, tried to fix me"
***********************
**********************
she couldn't remeber then what it was. She couldn't remeber
why she decided she would go there, to see his face, and finally
see the eyes that haunt each dream and every single thought.
"He's in a meeting..", Randi spotted the younger girl, with
short, spiky red hair that looked off, like the look in her
eyes, the thing that made her drag her leg after her, hide
scars with the back of her hand that were on the side of
her face."I'll...tell him you're here"
If there was a reason for the crumbled paper in her pocket,
the warning from her mother that he wouldn't like her, wouldn't
give her the time of day, this man..this man was concerned with
him and only him, he'd hate her wrinkled clothes, the hair dye
that was only at the tips of her hair now, the crumbled paper
in her pocket.He'd hate her imperfections, she told her, holding
the framed baby picture close to her chest.
But it was something she had to do. Even her mother knew it.
****************
****************
"I don't know why I'm here, they said.."
"I was in a meeting. Do I know you?"
"You knew my mother"
"Did she die on my table..hey, come on. I have to ask.
I'm a surgeon.."
"No, she didn't die on your table"
"Right"
"You..were married to her. Actually, she died awhile back, I live
with a foster mother, I call her my mother, because I was small"
"I'm sorry"
"It's alright, I've moved past it now"
"I don't think so, you tracked me down"
"I tracked you down, because you're listed as my father
on my birth certificate"
***********************
***********************
Slow motion, the way he kept walking, small form, a wounded arm held
close to his body. There was a look in his eyes she'd seen before, the
look of the doctor who came down the very same hall, squinted his eyes.
"I'm sorry for your loss, we did what we could"
He kept walking, his voice booming in her ears, yelling at the woman
with a sour expression who followed behind him nonetheless. He stopped
in front of her, this small man with a wounded arm, the look of power
and anger in his eyes, stared her down."You're the one who wanted to see
me?"
She nodded, aware of the spinach and red lipgloss on her teeth. She
kept her hands in her pockets,suddenly aware of the chip in her second
coat of nailpolish, the tranish on her crackerjack ring.
"Do I know you?"
*********************
*********************
"You look just like her, the eyes"
"You remeber her?"
"I do"
"I was hoping you could.."
"I can't yet"
"That's really why I wanted to see you"
"You didn't want a father? Because I can't give it to you, so
I guess that's for the best"
"I wanted to know my mother"
"I'm sorry"
*********************
********************
"Keep walking", he answered, the hand that looked healthy, the one
with pink fingers, he gripped her wrist tight, pulling her along
side him, though they both knew the girl was big enough to pull
him to wherever she wanted him to stay.
"You don't have to do this", she answered quickly, remebering her
mother's words of panic. He made you panic, she couldn't understand
how people wanted him to heal them, he made her panic, made her
sweat and wonder if she was really good enough for him.
"Keep walking" he answered, dropping her arm, slowing his walk,
letting the girl get a good look at him,"Go ahead, ask"
"I don't..."
"Ask me what happened. I'll answer you" his eyes flashed with
resentment suddenly, and the girl tucked her arms behind
her back, turned her eyes to the floor like a little girl told
to watch her language."There was an accident. I lost my arm"
"But..."
"But what?" he snapped back. His eyes raged then, turning red,
the wrinkles on his forehead bunching up to make him look
like this grouchy old man, the ones who sat in the park and poked
at people with healthy feet with their canes, laughing as they
tripped and skinned their knees.
"It's there" she answered quietly.
His whole body seemed to mellow, his shoulders sank back down."They
tried to fix it, tried to fix me"
***********************
**********************