Disclaimer: If I was Ryan Murphy, Kurt and Blaine would have been together by the second time they saw each other.
"Now, I want you all to pair up for the project that I am about to assign!" the social studies teacher quipped happily. "I want you all to do a project on relationships! Whether it is a parental relationship or a friendship one, I would like to interview the people you are doing your report on and they write a little explanation about it! Remember, have fun and learn a lot!"
The bell rang all the kids practically jumped from their seats. It was the end of the day. The best part of it for most of them.
Finn ended up walking out next to Sam. He knew that he needed a partner and he was pretty sure he was friends with Sam so he said, "Hey, Sam! Want to be partners?"
"Sure! What do you want to do?" Sam asked, excited by the fact the he was pretty much halfway done with the assignment now that he had a partner.
Finn pondered that, obviously wanting to do a football player, but not allowed to. Suddenly, and (take a picture) oddly, Finn had a brilliant idea. "Why don't we do somebody in Glee club?"
Sam grinned. "Awesome. That's awesome, we could be like, the Relationship A-Team, right?" Sam asked, excited now that he was pretty much done with the project because he had a partner AND an idea in the same day. "Who do you want to do?"
"We could do my step brother and his "friend" Blaine. That'd be easy because he's always around," Finn suggested, his mind starting to give out from all the thinking and floating back to football plays and such.
"Okay," Sam said, glad Finn hadn't suggested anything to do with him. "I'll come over tonight."
Finn grinned, hi-fived Sam, and walked off.
*THAT NIGHT*
"Er, why are you guys following me around with a video camera? And why is Sam here? Did you two suddenly turn gay and start going out without telling me?" Kurt asked.
"What? NO!" Sam said from behind the camera.
"We just want to find out what makes you tick!" Finn explained.
"Finn, as many times as I have already said this, I'll say it again. I. Am. Not. A. Clock," Kurt insisted trying to push the two boys out of his room.
Finn frowned. He had begun to think Kurt was like a clock because he always seemed to know exactly when his shows were on (i.e. when it was time to kick Finn off the computer or TV) and he had told Kurt that.
Kurt was entirely annoyed by the whole idea and was still wondering why his dad had allowed two guys down in his room with a camera, without parental supervision.
"He means we have to do a social studies project on relationships and we decided to do someone from Glee and you're the easiest," Sam explained, wondering about that whole Kurt-clock thing.
"Oh, God," Kurt groaned. "Why me?"
"You're close," Finn explained. "So Kurt, how would you describe your relationship with Blaine?"
If looks could kill, Finn and Sam would both be dead a thousand times over from the look Kurt gave them. "Is that what this is about? I'll say it AGAIN. We. Are. Just. Friends," Kurt told them, feeling as if he had to enunciate each word so they would get it through their thick football player skulls.
"Are you sure? That's not what you said last night," Finn shook his head.
"What? Last night? What are you talking about Finn?" Kurt asked.
"You do know that you talk in your sleep, right?" Finn asked. He had heard Kurt say some pretty interesting things some nights.
"Dammit Finn!" Kurt shouted. "What did you hear?"
"You say Blaine's name a lot when you sleep," Finn told him. "And some other things…"
"Ugh. Fine. But we're just friends, despite what I want. Blaine thinks of me as a friend and that's all I can ask for," Kurt frowned; annoyed that Finn wouldn't leave the subject alone.
"That's not what you were saying last night…" Finn prompted.
Kurt thought back to his dreams last and blushed furiously when he remembered what he had been dreaming about. (Something about Blaine and chocolate sauce…)
"That's it. Out!" Kurt said, shoving past them halfway up the stairs and slamming the door behind them.
"Kurt! Does this mean that you're embarrassed about your love for Blaine?" Sam asked, kind of enjoying annoying Kurt.
"WHAT? DON'T MAKE ME STRANGLE YOU!" Kurt yelled through the door.
"You can't strangle us through the door!" Finn said something surprisingly intelligent.
Kurt was about to say something witty and endearing back to Finn when his phone went off. Rather loudly. He grabbed it and looked at the text. He blushed. It was from Blaine.
"Kurt? Was that Blaine?" Sam demanded. "Do you have each other on speed dial?"
"SAM! YOU ARE SO GOING ON MY 'DEATH' LIST!" Kurt yelled.
"Ha!" Finn pointed at Sam tauntingly.
"Don't worry Finn! You were there first!" Kurt assured him.
"Kurt! Remember! Sexting is wrong and unethical!" Finn shouted.
Kurt made an annoyed noise. Blaine had texted, Hey Kurt, what'd you get on the history test? and he'd written back, B. I hate history.
"ETHICAL THIS!" Kurt yelled, accidentally opening the door, planning on giving them the finger but they ran him over to get back inside the room before he could.
"Kurt, just one last question. On a scale of one to ten, how hot would you say Blaine is?" Finn asked.
"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Kurt shrieked, trying to force them back up the stairs.
Unfortunately his phone beeped again and Sam managed to grab it. He looked at it and laughed. "I think this is all the proof we need!" He showed it to Finn who laughed.
Kurt snatched at it, "Give me that!"
As Kurt read it, Sam and Finn were already jogging up the stairs.
Kurt's eyebrows scrunched together. The text said, Oh Kurt, my love, won't you text me a picture of yourself so I can stare at it becuz you KNOW I just LOVE to STARE at you ALL DAY and then go and tell my friends, Wes and David about how BEAUTIFUL your eyes are and how SEXY you looked in your SKIN-TIGHT skinny jeans.
Kurt was utterly bewildered and jumped when the phone beeped again, this time it said, DANG IT WES! Kurt, whatever he said, DISREGARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE!
Kurt was slightly disappointed but rolled his eyes. The phone beeped a third time and the text said, What I MEANT to say was please describe to me in FULL DETAIL what you are wearing and how AWESOME it looks on you so I can tell my poor friends ALL about it!
The phone beeped a final time and it said, Sorry Kurt. Gotta go. SOMEone is being obnoxious! Talk to you later.
Kurt typed as fast he could, hoping that Blaine would get it before he went away, Blaine, if you happen to see a freakishly tall guy (Finn) and a blonde guy with obviously dyed hair carrying a camera, I suggest you run for your life.
Meanwhile, upstairs, Finn and Sam were triumphant and were fully intent on going to get Blaine's opinion of all this.
*SATURDAY* *AT DALTON*
To Finn and Sam's disappointment, they were forced to wait until Saturday try and interview Blaine who was alerted of their arrival, thanks to Kurt and his ominous text.
When he saw them walking toward them, Blaine started to dash the other way when Wes tackled him from the side.
"Dude! Let me go!" Blaine struggled.
"No way, man! We want to SEE this!" Wes announced.
"Yeah! We're in cahoots with the freakishly tall dude and the dyed-hair guy!" David announced.
"David! You gave us away!" Wes groaned. "Not cool, man."
By then Sam (the dyed-hair guy) and Finn (the freakishly tall guy) had reached them.
"So, Blaine, is it? Can we ask you a few questions?" Sam asked from the behind the camera.
"Er, Kurt told me to stay away from you two, but now that you have these two in on it I guess I have no choice," Blaine shrugged unhappily.
"Wait, who are these two?" Finn asked.
"I'm Wes and that's David and we would also like to have some input on this whole thing!" Wes shouted, starting to drag Blaine to a bench where he set him down.
Finn shrugged, not caring. Sam was getting slightly freaked about the lack of girls at the school.
"So, Blaine, we'll ask you the same questions we asked Kurt, and then, if you're good, we might let you see his answers," Sam taunted him.
Wes and David sat on either side of Blaine, squishing him half to death and grinning from ear to ear, eager to start Blaine's embarrassment.
"So, Blaine, how would you describe your relationship with Kurt?" Finn asked, reading off a sheet of paper that he had amazingly remembered.
"Well, I'm really glad I met him and we're…well…we're great friends," Blaine said, deflating a little bit because of the reminder.
"You don't sound very happy about that," Sam commented.
"Yeah, well-" Blaine started.
"He isn't he's just too chicken to make a move," Wes explained.
Blaine glared at him.
"Aha! The truth is revealed," Finn announced. "So, Blaine, you admit that you have feelings for Kurt? More than friend feelings?"
"Um, yeah, I guess," Blaine blushed slightly.
Finn turned to Sam. "Wow, he's WAY easier to get answers out of then Kurt."
Sam nodded happily.
"Why don't you ask Kurt out?" Sam asked.
"That wasn't on the sheet," Finn observed.
"Yeah, but we only really had two questions," Sam pointed.
Finn stared at the paper, silently counting. 1…er…what comes after 1? OH YEAH! 2! He's right… "True."
"Because he needs a mentor and a friend more than a boyfriend," Blaine answered truthfully. (Actually, he just really wanted to see what Kurt had said.)
"It's because he's too CHICKEN!" David announced and he and Wes began making chicken noises.
Finn stared at the list. They weren't expecting Blaine to be this easy to talk to. "Okay. Last question. If you were to rate-"
"Did you say rape?" Wes asked. "Kurt. Totally Kurt."
Blaine shoved him off the bench but Wes pulled him down with him.
"No…" Finn really wanted to join in that tumble. He hadn't worked this hard on a project in a while. "I meant to say, on a scale to ten, how hot would you say Kurt is?"
Blaine choked on nothing. "What?"
"You heard him, lover boy," David nudged him.
"He did, he's probably about to ask if, like, 8 billion is a choice," Wes grinned as Blaine elbowed him.
"No! I was gonna say-" Blaine's phone beeped. He snatched at it. It said, Get ready for a surprise. It was from Kurt.
Sam, as the official phone snatcher grabbed at it. "Ooh, what's this?" he asked.
Blaine shrugged honestly.
Just then, around the corner strutted, followed by a large crowd of girl-deprived guys, Rachel and Quinn. Kurt was sashaying along behind them, a smug grin on his face.
"FINN HUDSON!" Rachel yelled.
Finn swallowed. That was the voice Rachel used when he had accidently left his socks lying around or that one time when he had eaten her secret chocolate stash.
"YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU COULDN'T GO TO THAT PLAY BECAUSE YOU HAD CHICKEN POX!" Rachel shouted, grabbing Finn's arm and beginning to tow him away. "You're coming with me!"
Quinn also looked very mad. "And you told me that you couldn't go out for lunch today because your mom was in the hospital!" she yelled. "Come on!"
And so the two boys were both dragged away by their very unhappy girlfriends.
"Dang it Kurt!" Wes whined. "Why do you have to ruin all the fun?"
"Oh, they'll be back," Kurt waved a hand and looked down at Blaine. "You owe me big time."
"Yeah, thanks," Blaine grinned.
"Blaine and Kurt sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Wes and David started singing, but Blaine threw his shoe at them and they both ran away laughing.
*OTHER INTERVIEWS SAM AND FINN DID*
*BURT*
"So Mr. Hummel, how do you feel about Kurt and Blaine's relationship?" Sam asked.
"What? What relationship? WHY DOES NOBODY TELL ME ANYTHING ANYMORE?" Burt shouted to nobody.
"Well, I mean, they're not-" Finn started to try and clear things up.
"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT BLAINE KID FOR NOT ASKING MY PERMISSION BEFORE GOING OUT WITH MY KID, I'M GONNA-"
At this point Sam, smartly, turned off the camera and so Blaine never found out what Burt was going to do, but made a point to stay away from him.
*CAROLE*
"So, Mrs. Hummel, how do you feel about Kurt and Blaine's relationship?" Finn asked, slightly embarrassed to be talking to his mom about this.
"Oh! Did they finally get together? Oh! I'm SOOOO happy for them!" Carole blurted happily.
"Well, not yet but-" Sam started.
At this point Carole got up and accidently knocked over the camera in her haste to find the 'new couple.'
*WES AND DAVID WHO WOULDN'T LEAVE FINN AND SAM ALONE UNTIL THEY WERE ALLOWED TO TALK ALSO*
"Well, you see, our good friend Blaine is ALWAYS whining to US about how AMAZING Kurt's eyes are and blah blah blah about his shirt and yadda yadda about his hair and all that chiz," Wes said without waiting for anyone to ask him a question.
"And then he'll go off about how he can't ask Kurt out and then he'll feel sorry for himself for a while and we'll have to be 'supportive.' Do you realize how many times we've heard Firework in the last few weeks? It's a good song, but jeezum already," David continued.
"And being around them is just so ANNOYING because it's so OBVIOUS that they're in LOVE or whatever and they won't MAKE A MOVE ALREADY and no matter how hard we try we just CAN'T get them to get together and stop all our suffering!" Wes griped.
"Pretty much EVERYONE at LEAST in the junior and senior classes wishes that they would just GET TOGETHER ALREADY and stop WHINING about it US," David grumbled.
"And the problem is, once Blaine annoys us enough, and we have to go hang with Kurt, it's the SAME THING only switched!" Wes sighed.
"I pretty much think it's as big of a problem as GLOBAL WARMING right now, because people won't SHUT UP about it and it's just causing us all SUFFERING," David finished.
Sam and Finn looked at each other. Finn nodded slowly. (Even he knew that this WASN'T normal.) Sam turned off the camera.
*MERCEDES, WHO WHACKED BOTH SAM AND FINN INTO NEXT WEEK WHEN SHE FOUND OUT THEY WERE DOING THIS PROJECT WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE (FINN HAS THE SCARS TO PROVE IT.)*
Finn swallowed now, rightfully, frightened of Mercedes. "So, Mercedes, erm…do you have anything to say on the topic of Kurt and Blaine…aka, Klaine, as we've found out they're being called?" Finn asked warily. (Well, as wary as Finn can be.) (Which isn't very much because his brain usually loses track of what he was thinking about after a few minutes.)
"Yes. I would like to say that Mr. Anderson, or whatever his last name is, needs to be the polite, chivalrous one and just make the first move already. Obviously, my boy Kurt shouldn't have all this pressure on him, especially with all the extra school work he's been doing," Mercedes suggested strongly.
"And when Mr. Andrews, or whatever, finally does make a move, he better treat my boy right, or I's gonna slap him into next week, cuz hell to the no is gonna get away with that on my watch!" Mercedes said to the camera. "That's all."
*KURT AND BLAINE TOGETHER ALONG WITH WES AND DAVID WHO SEEM TO KEEP POPPING UP EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE NEVER REALLY INVITED TO COME ALONG*
"So, guys, any final words before we turn this in?" Sam asked, ready to be done and to go play football, or basketball, or a sport…
"Turn what in?" Blaine asked, confused.
"It's their social studies project," Kurt explained.
"You don't think we'd just bug you to bug you, do you?" Finn asked.
Kurt shot him a looked and he revised, "Well, or that we'd make that much of a ...er…effort! to bug you?"
Blaine shrugged and Wes and David popped out of nowhere (as they do) and shouted to the camera, "Look on our face book pages for any other incriminating photographs!"
"WHAT?" Kurt and Blaine demanded.
"Er…crap," Wes muttered.
Blaine began to run for the nearest computer and Wes tried to stop him, or at least slow him down, until he was tackled by Kurt who had somehow also managed to trip David at the same time.
Sam turned the camera on him and Sam and said, "Well, there you have it. Will they ever get together?" Sam shrugged.
"I guess this either proves that young love is confusing, or that you can get a lot of injuries thanks to a social studies project," Finn announced. "This is the relationship A-Team, signing off."
At this point, the camera was knocked out of their hands by Blaine who was trying to murder Wes while Kurt tried desperately to get on David's page in the background.
Finn and Sam both shrugged, grabbed the camera and walked off. They ended up getting a C on the project because it was supposed to be either between parents and children, or friends, and also because the subjects were unwilling and a lot of the content wasn't exactly appropriate, as the teacher said, for school.
Finn reminded himself, as much fun as he had messing with his stepbrother, this is what happens when one works on a school project too hard.
A/N: I know….that was probably a really sad fail, but I hope I made you laugh, at least once? Maybe? Yeah, well, I tried. =D
Reviews aren't love (Love is Klaine and…chocolate) but they're pretty darn close! =3 (BTW, anybody want Sam and Finn to mess with anyone else? Hmmm?)