Tap, tap, tap. The well dressed man slumped over his desk seemed to shrink with each tap. Tap, tap, tap. Blue eyes snapped open to view his surroundings through a curtain of long wavy black hair. Tap, tap, tap. He got up, strode across the carpeted floor and wrenched open the door. The portly man behind it had been about to tap again but now looked thouroughly startled to find the door open before him.

"Hullo Cap'n!" he said cheerfully. But captain James Hook was not in a cheerful mood.

"This had better be good Smee," he said through clenched teeth.

"Right," said Smee, licking his lips. "Well, the thing is the men and I, ever vigilant on watch of course—"

"Spit it out!" hissed the captain, and Smee flinched.

"We er, found something, no someone, clinging to a piece of wood halfway submerged in the water."

"What was?"

"What was what, sir?"

"What was halfway submerged in the water!"

"The person o' course."

"Top half or bottom half submerged?"

"Top half, sir."

Hook put a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he did when he was impatient.

"It's probably just one of those blasted merfolk. Don't tell me one of my men got tempted into diving after it."

"No sir. It's an ordinary woman sir."

"A woman?"

"Dressed as a man sir."

"What's that to the point just take me to her!" he stepped out of his cabin and shut the door.

"Very good sir she's up on deck."

The woman was indeed wearing sopping wet men's clothing. Her feet were bare, her hair bedraggled, and her coffee colored skin gleamed with drops of water. She was on the large side, with curves that would draw the eye of any man. Even if that man were Captain James Hook.

His icy blue stare swepped up and down, appraising her. She might have been pretty, except pirates do not think things are pretty.

"Smee!" barked the captain, never taking his eyes of the strange woman. "Find this woman some dry clothes."

"But captain, we've only got men's things—"

"Use your eyes Smee, she's already wearing men's things! It wouldn't matter even if she weren't! Just do it!" he fixed Smee with a reproachful look, then turned back to the woman. Smee scuttled off to do as he was bid.

"Do you have a name?" the captain demanded.

"Zinfandel." Hook raised an eyebrow. "Had that name ever since I started drinking at age eleven. Never had another one."

Woman after my own, er, heart, the captain thought. "Where did you come from then?"

"I was crewed to the pirate ship, infant. Which lately met its end in a storm. I won't say anything about my life before then so don't ask." She fixed him with a stern look, but Hook chuckled, causing Smee, who was returning with clothes to peer at him cautiously. The captain mostly only chucked when he was about to gut someone.

"Well, we all have something to hide don't we? Smee stop standing there like an idiot!" he barked without pause. "Give Zinfandel her clothes and show her to my cabin so she can change."

"Zinfandel? And who might—"

"Smee." Hook looked to the heavens and back at his dim crew member. "Do you see any other women on board this ship?"

"No Cap'n. Good thing too. Its bad luck to have even one on board a ship."

"Luck has nothing to do with it Smee! Though one might say you got unlucky when they were passing out brains."

"What?"

Hook was careful to put iron control back into his voice. "Just, do as I told you Smee."

"Yes sir, cap'n sir." Smee mopped his brow. "Come right this way m'lady."

Hook watched them go, smiling a bit when he heard Zinfandel say,

"There'll be none of this 'my lady' business. I'm a pirate same as you though I'm not part of this crew."