A/N: Well, this is our first band dabble that we've ever written. Both of us are extremely huge band nerds when it comes to marching and even concert band. We hope you enjoy what we consider the beginning of our many band dabbles. Please R&R. (Most grammar and spelling mistakes are on purpose, so PLEASE don't tell us…thank you.)
You May be a Marching Band Nerd…
…When you actually threaten to bite peoples fingers off if they touch your instrument.
…When you think about how you will destroy that one person in color guard who keeps dropping their flag.
…If you frighten your family when you tell them about how you just have to get a uniform like your favorite marching band's uniform.
…When you attempt and more frighteningly succeed to explain sex through instruments.
…When you actually enjoy wearing your band uniform. (Like us—there are two authors in these stories/lists)
…When you excessively clean your band shoes. (Its our favorite thing to do when we are not being lazy asses like usual)
…When you roll step as you walk through the halls in school and are proud when your normey friends (friends outside of band) make fun of you for it.
…If you can march in step perfectly…BUT…you still can't chew gum and walk at the same time.
…When you start to look forward to getting sunburn during the inevitable BAND CAMP!!!!!
…If you begin to enjoy the heat and physical stress you endure during THE BAND CAMP!!!!
…When you constantly make fun of yourself for being a band nerdy person.
…If most of your friends are in marching band. (The best people in the world)
…When you become so socially awkward that you tend to rely on all of your band friends to have fun. (This esp. sucks when they don't want to hang out)
…When you entertain your friends during the football game by attempting to climb up the bleachers from the back at the very high part. (P.s. not a good idea…we have tried it….very fun).
… When you argue with the field commander/drum major about wanting a different colored plume/feather. (we enjoy being different. Isn't that the whole reason we join band?)
…When you consistently argue if band is a democracy or a dictatorship and then you realize it was a waste of time because we all know that it's a dictatorship.
…If you pass time by singing and dancing to the songs from your half time show and/or stands music.
…If you actually practice your music.
…Then actually practice it for several days in a row.
…Then not remember the notes when your band director asks you to play the music on the spot. (It's happened to me sssssoooo many different times)
…If you look forward to the days you have band practice even if it means actually doing work.
…When you have random conversations about how much you hate your band director, drum major(s)/field commander(s), and/or section leader. (that is always fun)
…When you admit willingly that you have no life and the little bit of life that you do have completely revolves around marching band.
…If the majority of your thoughts revolve around marching band. (most of our's do)
…If you have stolen a huge cardboard cut out of a famous actress and stashed it in the band room.
…If you have dreamed about having sex/make out session in the band room's uniform/storage room/closet. (that would be sooooo much fun and very interesting)
…When you scream to anyone that will listen "I came out of the closet!" – after of course just jumping out of the uniform or instrument closet
…When you have lengthy conversations about what name you should give your instrument. (my flute's name is Mr. Bubbles)
...If while your taking off your uniform you suddenly shout "I'm stripping!" and then everyone in the band looks and is disappointed when they see your only taking off your uniform and nothing else.
…When you love your instrument more than your family.
…When you consider your band your second family because you see them more than your biological family.
…If the majority of your wardrobe consists of marching band shirts or simply stuff relating to music.
…When you take the time to read retarded lists like this one.
…If you've used a woodwind (preferable a flute, clarinet, or even a trumpet) and a symbol to play swords and shields with your friends.
…When you take the time out to point out how the other bands are frightened of your band.
…If you've screamed "I want your hat" at a fellow band member because they're lucky enough not to have the most plain, uncreative hat that has ever existed.
…When you come home and want to sleep for the rest of your miserable life after having to spend three hours on a bus with not only the older band members, but also the younger was to
…If you give your instruments name such as Mr. Bubbles or something that's actually normal.
…Or it is something normal, but it doesn't make sense why it has that specific name.
…When you would rather be the one on the band bus preventing others from sleeping than being the one screaming at people for not letting you sleep
…If you start singing odd and different songs that tick off your band director because they consider it to be a "bad song".
…Or you try to sing a song that on one likes except for you because you're that super nerdy (that's us in a nut shell).
…When you mark time when you're waiting in line.
…If you have dropped your instrument numerous times and have actually BEATEN yourself up for it (while of course your friends watch---pointing)
…When you would rather be at band practice than at home.
…If you make fun of the football players
…If you tease the football players about what actually happens in the locker room and showers after a big win. (and then are threatened to be killed---and you laugh )
…If you argue with the football players because they don't think band is that important (which is its…evil people).
…And if they don't listen to you, you start making "drop the soap" jokes/comments (we do that when they are jerk offs)
…If you threaten to kill the football player (that you know) because they've been using the band practice field for football practice (it happens here all the time).
…When you volunteer to do push-ups because you think its fun to get down on the ground, have people laugh at you, and feel the lovely PAIN.
…If all of your friends are in Marching Band with you.
…If you cry or simply laugh when the seniors make their speeches.
…And if you don't their parents glare at you for not showing that you will miss them next year.
….Then you do because their parents scare the carp out of you.
…When you actually try and figure out who will replace the seniors in each section next (I actually did that and scare enough most of my friend thought it was pretty creative).
…When you do "stuff" in the band closet with another band member and tease your friends about it because they think you did something naughty and you won't tell when the reality is that you and your fellow band member really only went into the closet and laughed at the things you knew your friends would think you were doing.
…When you have accidentally called you band director mom or dad.
…And then continued to call them that because it annoyed them.
…When you blame the lines on the field for moving and confusing you when you were setting a new drill.
…When you claim that the lines on the field are holding a grudge on you and continue to trip you when you march.
…If you refer to everybody in the band by their instruments and not by name. (that would be too confusing )
…YAY!!!!!!!! BAND CAMP STARTS TOMORROW!!!!!! Your summer won't be wasted after all.
…When you argue with a fellow band person on whether the appropriate name is Band Geek, Band Dork, or Band Nerd.
…If you have randomly screamed "I HAVE TO PEE", "PENIS", or something odd during a competition or game.
…If one of your favorite movies is American Pie: Band Camp.
…If you actually look forward to freezing your ass off every Friday night at the football games. (I know I do! (N); I really don't (K))
…When you continuously talk about stuff in band to your non-band friends just to annoy the hell out of them.