-----
Piccolo floated above his favorite meditation spot; The lake under the waterfall west of West City. He breathed in deeply, feeling very at peace with all around him. He enjoyed the ceaseless sound of running water. Sometimes when he was up at the Lookout, he would turn on the shower if he was too lazy to leave his living area, and meditate on top of the closed toilet in his boxers. This was of course, a very well kept secret. Piccolo remembered when the water line had first been installed, back when Kami was still around. He had to always act innocent when Kami, furious, would question him about the high water bill.
"Uhhh..." Piccolo looked up thoughtfully. "No, I've never let the water run longer than I need to shower..."
Kami growled and shook the papers of the bill furiously, "I didn't have that dang water line installed for you to waste it! Do you know how much it cost alone just for all the piping it took to get water all the way up here? Not to mention the pressurizer to DEFY gravity!"
Piccolo zoned out Kami continued to rant. He of course spoke of the new water line installed up the incredibly tall pillar that magically supported the Lookout far above the rest of the earth.
He persoanlly enjoyed the lake more. It was a natural, running source of peace, as well as fresh water. It was extremely revitalizing. He began to slip into deep mediation, the peace of his surroundings consuming him...
Suddenly a buzz against his thigh, as well as a high pitched ring, jolted him violently from his serenity. He almost fell out of the air, but caught himself just in time, floating uncerimoniously to his feet. He jumped again as the sensaion repeated, and he dug in his pockets to find the source of the noise. He pulled out a small, cellular flip phone.
He stared at it in blunt wonder. "What the...?" He almost dropped it as it rang again, vibrating his hand. He growled softly, a sweat drop running down his temple.
Before it could make the annoying noise again, he crushed it easily in his palm, letting the mechanical and plastic peices fall into the water like rain droplets. Mumbling, Piccolo decided trying to regain the blissful meditation he had attained moments ago was impossible, and heading back to the Lookout would be the most sensible conclusion. He flew off toward the sky, still wondering about the strange device.
---
Vegeta hung up the phone after trying a third time, this time hearing a disconnected number recording from a metalic-sounding woman's voice. He chuckled slightly and sat back in his chair. "Suppose he's heading home. I'll call in a few moments to make sure he gets there, first." Closing his eyes, he smirked wryly.
---
Piccolo pulled the turban from his head, his antennea popping up, as if happy to be free of the pressure. He tossed it onto the floor carelessly, the weight of it crashing loudly onto the ground, and then pulled off his heavier cape, letting it drop beside the turban. He walked through the doorwa leading to his livingquarters, scratching behind his ear, and began to head for his bed. A sharp ring jolted him feircely into shock, and he jumped about 5 feet into the air.
His head slowly turned to the small red device sitting on his usually empty corner table next to his couch. It vibrated as it rang, the reciever nearly falling off the supporting body of the telephone. He twitched slightly in irritation and moved to it, swiftly picking up the reciever to stop the sound immediately. He heard a distant voice come from the device. He held it to his ear.
"Who the hell is this!?" Piccolo growed angrily.
"Nice to talk to you too, Green Bean." The voice replied.
"Vegeta." Piccolo said in instant recognition. "Where the-"
"Both phones were submitted in your vicinity by my wife." Vegeta answered, cutting Piccolo off before he could finish his question. "She put the phone in the pants you set out for the next day last night, and this morning she hooked up the phone you're talking on now."
Piccolo really didn't like the way Vegeta sounded so all-knowing, and growled softly. "Shew had no permission or right to go through, or ENTER, for that matter, my personal living area!"
"This is Bulma, we're talking about, Piccolo." Vegeta said dryly, and Piccolo could hear the sarcasim in his voice, "Do you think she'll wait for permission?"
Piccolo's silence told Vegeta he was right, but didn't want to admit it. "That's besides the point." He mumbled in defeat.
"Anyway you can talk to her later about it..." Vegeta changed the subject. "The reason I called you is I have an invitation for you."
"That's all? Why didn't you just ask me face to face?" Piccolo growled in annoyance.
"Well, there's more to it then that..." Vegeta said, sighing slightly. "Bulma has a few favors to ask you, actually."
"And those would be?" Piccolo felt his eye-ridge twitching.
"Well," Vegeta said almost hesitantly as if sure that he would immmediately refuse the opportunity, "Bulma wants you to er...babysit the brats for a night in a few days."
"And," Vegeta said quickly, blocking Piccolo from being able to protest, "she wants you to babysit again in two weeks, but that time Goku and I will be there to help you."
Piccolo could feel his leg muscle spasming at this perposterous idea. "You want me to babysit those brats?" He asked cooly. "You can't be serious. I'm not good with children. I'd sooner kill them than send them to time out."
"I know," Vegeta said, "But you're the only option. Krillin and his family are off on some sort of vacation, Chi-Chi's dad is out of town, Bulma's parents are hosting a Christmas party the same night, and Kakarot and I are being dragged Christmas shopping with our wives. I even suggested Tien and Yamcha, but Bulma seems to be extra pissed at Yamcha for some reason and refused."
"What about Master Roshi and Oolong?" Piccolo asked desperately.
"If I want my son to get corrupted at an early age I'd rather let a hooker be his mother."
Piccolo almost opened his mouth to say something like "Well too late for that," but decided he'd save it for another opportunity. Right now he was so mad himself he didn't even feel like pissing Vegeta off. He mumbled quietly, "There's no other person in the world who can do it?"
"Bulma doesn't want to hire a stranger babysitter."
"Since when did she trust me?"
"Eh, I doubt she ever did."
"Then why is she asking me?!"
"She's desperate."
Piccolo groaned slightly. "Ugh..."
"So, will you do it then?"
Piccolo clenched his fist angrily. "Fine. But if I kill one of them you can't try and sue me, because I warned you."
Vegeta merely chuckled. "Can't gaurentee that."
"Me either." Piccolo said and slammed the phone down in frustration. He moved to the couch next to the table which the phone sat upon and collapsed on it, leaning back, closing his eyes and covering them with his hand. "Kami, Why me...?"
"Guess you're lucky." An elderly voice replied.
Piccolo opened one eye peeking through his fingers to see the dignified old earth-gaurdian standing before him. "Aren't you supposed to be...in me?"
"You're having another epic reaction to stress." Kami sighed, as if annoyed by the entire ordeal.
"Hey Piccolo!" A much younger voice called from the kitchen, "I'm grabbing a beer, all right?"
"Dammit, Nail!" Piccolo sat up and growled. "I told you to leave my beer alone!"
"Aww, come on, just one...I've got this killer headache."
"That won't help it any, you imbecile."
"Oh yeah. I meant to say I'm feeling really depressed and just got dumped by my girlfriend and need to drown my sorrows. Is that better?"
Piccolo didn't answer, growling slightly. "I hate when this happens."
Kami walked to the recliner and slowly sat himself down in it. "Me too. The emotional stress always inhabits you so much that we are forced from your being, like being kicked out of some bar by a bouncer into the alley when the bar gets too crowded, even if you were there fist." He mumbled in his frustration.
"Freakin' freeloader." Piccolo mumbled as Nail entered the room, popping his can of cold beer open and sitting with them.
"Hey, you never mind if I drink while I'm in you."
"Yeah because then I'M being effected, and that's all in one beer. Now it's like three and I'm out before I know it." He said, griping.
"Ah well, who cares?"
"I CARE!"
"Geez! Sooooorr-eee!" Nail said raising his brows.
Piccolo only mumbled.
"Piccolo, I really don't want to be around when the kids are hear, so go to the bar, get wasted, or go on vacation, because I want to be back in there and safe from the wrath of those little devils. Alright?" Kami said, never having been fond or tolerant with children. Plus, he feared their devious ways. "And if not, don't expect me to stick around here that night."
"That's messed up!" Piccolo raged, "I thought that when you brought me into this deal that you agreed that we'd always go through every frustration, happy time, and drunken moment together, through thick or thin!"
"Well, I don't know if that's EXACTLY how I worded it, but--"
"SO!? That's what you meant!"
Kami crosses his arms pouting, looking to the side in a stubborn way. "Hmph. I dont remember that."
Piccolo growled and gripped his hands into fists angrily. "Yeah, whatever." He huffed in anger and stood and turned away, much like a child would who didn't win an argument.
Kami sighed softly, as if this situation was all too familiar. "Piccolo, come on, I didn't mean it like that."
"Did too!"
"Did not." Nail interjected.
"You, shut up!" Kami growled. "You aren't part of this!"
Piccolo stuck his tongue out triumphantly at Nail, "Ha! Yeah you aren't part of this!"
"Shut up, Piccolo!"
"Don't tell me to shut up!"
---
About an hour later, everything had cooled down finally in Piccolo's living quarters. Of course, Kami had been forced to seperate the two, before they killed each other. Piccolo sat on his bed arms crossed and layed down and stretched some. He opened the beer he had snuck from the kitchen on the way to his room, and took a long drink. He slowly felt himself growing warm with a content, relaxing feeling. He sighed softly and closed his eyes.
When he woke up again, he suddenly realized he felt whole again. Well, whole in the way he had become accustomed to. The other two souls had seemed to merge into his own, and without them, he felt somewhat incomplete. He finished his beer which sat upon the bedside table.
He looked forward, out the window, crushing the can in his hand easily. He tossed it into the trash can. He didn't want to baby-sit. He didn't like children. He was not patient with children. He did not find them "cute," "adorable," or "innocent" in the slightest. He knew that they all really had evil intensions within their little pranks, and little jokes, and little supposed-to-be-cute-but-are-really-annoying-as-hell-antics.
He sighed. "Why me?" He looked up, as if asking a higher force the question.
---
-Three days later-
"Vegeta! VEGETA! ARE YOU READY YET!"
"Hold on a dang minute, WOMAN!"
"And you say that WE take a long time to get ready!"
Trunks and Goten listened to the chorus of yelling from Trunks' room. Goten looked to Trunks innocently. "Are they mad at each other?"
"No, they do this all the time." Trunks answered.
"Don't you ever get a headache?"
"Nah, I kinda block it out after a while."
"Oh." He twitched as Bulma shrieked especially loud, "I don't see how you can."
Trunks didn't even flinch at the scream, "Yeah, well after a few hours straight you get used to it."
"Well, sometimes my mom can sound like that too." Goten admitted, "But my dad doesn't shout back."
"Yeah, I've heard her." Trunks shuddered.
"Boys!" Vegeta slammed the door open, making both of them jump. "Time to go. Downstairs, NOW!"
"Here it goes." Trunks sighed some, rushing down the stairs with Goten.
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Well, that's it folks! Hope you guys enjoy, please review, more to come soon!