Ever wondered what hours of being on Berk's Grapevine can do to a person? Well... This might as well be one of the answers. This was inspired by reading comments(A few of which were my own) on the "Worst FanFiction cliches" topic. All of the comments made me think of this little idea which I won't tell yet in order to not ruin the surprise.
I do want to point something out. This is NOT meant to be taken seriously. This entire one-shot is a joke. Looking for a serious HTTYD FanFiction? You won't find it here(You can check my other HTTYD story, "Goodbye, Bud", for that).
With that said, enjoy! Leave a review if you got something to say!
Morning rose in the snowy Isle of Berk. The sun managed to shin a bit of light on the tiny island, highlighting the beauty of the white snow covering the Viking village that resides there. In the skies, dragons were flying all around; cutting through the clouds with blistering speeds and enjoying the breezy but not too cold air surrounding the blue, yet cloudy, skies.
While the dragons populating the area were all up and about already, the Vikings themselves were still sleeping in their beds, still lost in the dreams that entered their minds the previous night.
In one of the houses slept a scrawny and still, somewhat muscular boy with a messy brown hair. One wouldn't think that at first glance, but that same boy was, infect, the chief of the village. The young leader took over his father's place after the later died in battle, saving his son in the process. It was hard to believe there already been 5 months ever since he took over, but the young Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III was starting to adapt into his new rule.
The only thing Hiccup had troubles with, was waking up in the mornings. Being chief meant his entire day was pretty much taken by helping his people, signing peace treaties, making sure every job is being done, attending the daily dragon races and spending time with his friends, betrothed, mother and his best friend, the Alpha dragon Toothless.
Toothless was a Night Fury, a black dragon which is believed to be, for the most part, extinct. The dragon had a red prosthetic tail fin which replaced the one he lost after Hiccup shot him down. It may not look like it now, but Vikings and dragons were once enemies. But after Hiccup met Toothless, the young Viking realized dragons aren't dangerous at all; infect, they were amazing and friendly creatures. After an epic fight with a queen of a dragon nest, Hiccup and Toothless managed to bring peace but at the cost of Hiccup's leg.
Five years later, and the 2 were still inseparable. They went through a lot of adventures, tried to keep the peace between Vikings and dragons going, discovered new dragon species, found Hiccup's long lost mother who was presumed dead and their friendship had managed to pass its ultimate test.
While Hiccup had the job of a chief, he never really woke up early in his life. It was never a problem for him in the past, but as the chief he needs to be the first one awake. Luckily for him, Toothless would always make sure his friend was up and about in time for the day's events. The dragon woke up from its wooden bed and slowly inched its way towards Hiccup's.
The chief's sleep was strong, as evidenced by his loud snoring. Why did humans snore in their sleep was always a mystery to Toothless, but it never seemed like anyone could answer that question. The dragon picked at his master's form, eyes scanning his body, before he moved his head closer until it was inches from Hiccup's face. After a few purrs and sniffing, Toothless started licking Hiccup's face with his large slimy tongue, making Hiccup wake up with a surprised yelp.
"Ahh! What the…?" When Hiccup's senses cleared and his eyes adjusted to the environment around him, the sight of a large black shape with 2 green eyes made everything clear for him. "Oh, I should have guessed." He muttered. "Only one dragon will want to cover me in its saliva as a morning bath." Toothless seemed amused by his friend's tiredness.
Hiccup, with the help of a nudging Toothless, eventually got out of his bed and put on his green tunic and black leather armor. After he made sure his prosthetic leg was well attached, the chief mentioned for his dragon to follow him and start the day.
Hiccup's first order of business as chief was taking Toothless for a flight around Berk, just seeing how the island is holding up and allowing him and his dragon to clear their heads before the day officially starts. Once both were out of the house, they were greeted by the cold air and the white snow covering the village. Hiccup, however, just shrugged it off as it was Berk; where it snows 9 months of the day and hails the other 3.
"Come on, bud. Let's go." Hiccup said before he climbed up to the saddle on his dragon's back, attached the safety wires, and inserted his metallic leg into its place. Without any delays, they both took to the skies.
Berk was looking good overall. The icebergs covering it from the big fight that took place 5 months ago were mostly melted from the few rare sunny days that greeted the island, and most of the houses that were destroyed were already rebuilt and safe to live in again. Hiccup and Toothless did stop their flying in order to gaze at the rock statue made in Hiccup's father's honor. "Not a bad progress; huh, bud?" He asked for Toothless's opinion, who made a noise that sounded like an agreement. "Probably a few minor touch ups, and it's done." He estimated before guiding Toothless to continue the flight.
Eventually, the time has come for the flight to stop and for the day's business to begin. First of all, breakfast at the great hall. Hiccup landed Toothless near the large doors leading into the hall where feasts and meetings were held, dismounted and headed inside. Toothless, instead of going inside with his master, headed to one of the dragons' eating stations for his morning snack.
"Another day of being chief is about to begin…" Hiccup told himself as he opened the doors, expecting another normal day. However, ever since he set foot inside the great hall, the day proved to be anything but normal.
Inside the great hall was Hiccup's girlfriend, Astrid. But she wasn't alone. Locking lips with her, with quite passion, was Hiccup's cousin, Snotlout. Hiccup felt surprised and hurt at the same time because of the scene which played out in front of him. "Astrid?!" He screamed, causing the 2 Vikings in front of him to stop their kiss.
"Oh gods, Hiccup!" Astrid panicked. "I… I can explain!" She exclaimed with much panic in her voice.
"I sure hope you can." A voice that didn't belong to Hiccup was heard in the hall. Hiccup turned around to see the newest addition to the Vikings of Berk, Eret. "What has happened to what we had in the past few months?" He asked Astrid. "Yesterday you told me how much you love me; today you go ahead and cheat on me?"
Hiccup was about to explode on everyone present in the room, if it wasn't for another voice speaking up. "You son of an Eret!" The voice proved to belong to Ruffnut, who was accompanied by her twin brother, Tuffnut. "You said you started to feel something for me! I thought we are meant to be together!" She screamed to the point of crying.
"But, darling," Another voice came into the argument. "You said you liked my dragon notes and statistics." Fishlegs entered the conversation, which then turned into a full-out argument between all of the presents.
Apparently, Hiccup wasn't the only one heartbroken this morning, as it seemed like everyone had a secret to hide. While the argument went on, Hiccup managed to excuse himself and walk out of the great hall without making a sound.
The young chief sighed with deep and loud breath. Why would Astrid do this? It wasn't like her. But before he could dedicate any further thought to the subject, a familiar whistle was heard in Hiccup's ears. It almost sounded like a… Night Fury? Impossible.
Sure enough, though. A dragon resembling Toothless, only purple in color, landed on the snowy island of Berk, just in front of Hiccup. On the dragon sat a rider, who was also in red armor and had a feminine body structure. Once the rider took off the mask covering the face, it was indeed a girl at about Hiccup's age. She had a smooth brown hair that softly graced her shoulders and it seemed like her right leg was missing.
"Are you Chief Hiccup of Berk?" She suddenly asked with no introduction or explanation to how she knows Hiccup, or if the dragon she was riding was indeed a Night Fury.
"Um… Yeah. That would be me." He answered, somehow managing to hide his confusion and anger from before. His confusion however just continued to grow when the girl hugged him to the point she almost crushed his bones.
"I heard so much about you!" The girl exclaimed. "My mother was also kidnapped when I was a kid, I also befriended a Night Fury who lost its tail fin and also lost a leg while proving my village that dragons are good. I also found my mother by accident and lost my father in a war. I heard so much about you and when I was told you broke up with your girlfriend, I decided to come over and ask to be your wife and merge our clans!" The girl talked fast, barely giving Hiccup any time to process her words.
"Okay, hold on a second." He managed to push the girl away from the bone-crashing hug she gave him. "Who are you? How do you know me? What was that abou…" Hiccup's words were cut short when the girl all the sudden forced her lips into his. The young chief's mind was trying to process everything that has happened in the last minute but couldn't. First, Astrid cheated on him, then another dragon rider on a Night Fury and now she kisses him.
When she pulled away, Hiccup had no idea what to think. This was all so wired and out of nowhere. But before Hiccup could have comprehended anything more, a shout was heard. "Ships are now entering the bay!"
"What?!" Hiccup asked mostly himself. He had no visitors planned, what has happened that has caused this? "Um… Listen, girl who claims to be like me and rides a Night Fury…"
"Oh! But I brought other Fury dragons as well!" She claimed excitedly. "There is the Day Fury," A white dragon which resembled Toothless landed near the purple Night Fury. "Water Fury," A blue dragon with teal wings landed near the Day Fury. "And the Fruit Fury!" A green dragon which looked like all the other ones appeared at the scene as well.
Hiccup's mouth just dropped in shock from what he just witnessed. He and Toothless have spent 5 years looking for more Night Furies, and turns out there is one that is female and other dragons who have the fury but not the night. Speaking of which, Hiccup did noticed that since he walked into the great hall, Toothless was nowhere to be found. He would have loved to meet other Furies… Hiccup assumed.
"Could this day get any weirder?" Hiccup thought for himself before a voice called for him.
"Hey, Hiccuuuuuuuuuuup!" The chief winched. He would know this voice anywhere, and not for the right reasons. The voice belonged to another young Viking chief, Dagur the Deranged. "It's been a while, old friend." He said with an evil smile.
"And I've enjoyed that while, so excuse me if I'm not thrilled to see you, Dagur." Hiccup replied.
Dagur let out an evil laugh. "Always with the quips. For some reason… That's what I love about you."
Hiccup and the girl he met a few seconds ago blinked at his words. "Uh… Care to repeat that?" Hiccup asked.
"Ever since that fight with the Screaming Death, I realized that I can never hate you." Dagur started to say before letting out a loud sigh. "That's because, I soon realized, I love you, Hiccup."
Hiccup was fast to react. "But… you are a male!"
"Which is exactly why, I should marry Hiccup!" A girl that was around Hiccup's age with long blonde hair who wore a purple dress, but bare feet, pushed pass Dagur. "Hello, Hiccup. My name is Rapunzel." She introduced herself nervously. "Princess of Corona."
"Wait." Hiccup stopped her before she could talk anymore. "I heard that you cut your hair, how is it so long? And, aren't you already married?"
"Oh, Eugene and I didn't work out. So we divorced and my hair got better." She beamed, while Hiccup was frightened by how close her face was to his and by the large green eyes of hers staring into his own.
"Nat sa fast!" A Scottish accented girl came forward and pushed Rapunzel out of her way. This new girl was familiar to Hiccup as well. She had a large mane of red curly hair that looked impossible to control and she wore a dark green dress. A bow was hung around her shoulder and an arrow quiver was around her waist. "Ah am the ane ye shaled marry, Hiccup." She said.
Hiccup was about to speak, but he couldn't find the words. What was with everyone's fascination with marrying him, with the exception of his own betrothed, who cheated on him?
"And you would be?" Hiccup asked the red-head.
"Ah am Merida. Princess af DunBroch." She introduced herself. "Ah am yer saulmate! We bath are autcasts in aur awn cultures that changed tredditian! Ah maself never wanted ta get married, but ye seem like sameane ah cauld get aloong with." Merida said.
"However!" Another girl, this one a strawberry blonde with pigtails, wearing a black top with a blue dress and a purple cape with a hood, pushed the Scottish princess aside. Once she made eye contact with Hiccup, she became really nervous. "Um, greetings, Chief Hiccup." She began. "I heard about you a lot and… I know this might sound crazy but… I actually think we were made for each other! I even believe we ARE together in some alternate universe!"
Not that the situation wasn't wired enough, but Hiccup thought that this latest girl was the craziest of them all; which was quite an accomplishment.
"Anna!" Another girl arrived at the place. This one was a platinum blonde woman who's hair was in a side braid and she wore an off the shoulder light blue dress which seemed to be made of… ice? "Get away from the chief, please. You already have a boyfriend." She told the girl with the double braids.
"But we didn't marry!" This Anna interjected.
"Doesn't matter, Anna." The woman said as she warped her arm around Hiccup, who was too busy being confused by what was going on to really notice. "He is the chief; and I'm the queen of Arendelle, which means I should marry him!"
"Whoa! Guys, hold on!" Hiccup shouted. "No one is getting married to anyone. I'm sure you are all lovely girls… but I don't know any of you and it's kind of rushed in order to…" Before Hiccup could finish however, another figure appeared on Berk.
It looked like a teenage boy and he was carrying a long wooden staff which was shaped like a hook. He had white hair, wore a blue hoody shirt and a pair of brown pants and he walked with no shoes. On normal days, Hiccup would have asked the man how he does this without freezing; but today wasn't normal, so he dismissed the thought.
"I'm afraid of the answer that's going to come," Hiccup started as the new guy looked at him. "But, who are you?"
"My name is Jack Frost." He answered in a deep voice. "I came here to court you, Chief Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III."
Hiccup was about to lose it at this point. Like if all the girls weren't enough and Dagur wasn't creepy enough, now a new guy seemed to be having feelings for him. "Why did I let Toothless wake me up today?" Hiccup thought to himself when Merida spoke up.
"And whit makes ye think ye are warthy af him?"
Jack turned to face the competition and let out an amused humph. "Can you do this?" He asked before creating a few snowflakes in his hand and playing with them for a few seconds before thawing them.
"You have ice powers too?" The lady in the blue dress asked with wonder.
"Yeah. Why?" Jack asked.
The woman quickly preformed the same trick he did a few seconds ago with her own hand. Jack was left speechless.
"I'm Jack Frost." He told her as he offered his hand for a shake.
"Queen Elsa." She replied while shaking his hand.
Without any explanation, the hand shake turned into a passionate kiss between the 2. Everyone staring in shock and surprise at the event.
Once the 2 of them broke apart, Elsa turned to the rest of the girls. "I found my soul mate. We should be together because we both have ice powers!" She declared.
"Yeah." Jack agreed as he hugged Elsa's shoulder. "Continue to fight over Hiccup without us."
When Jack said this, Dagur seemed to be the most annoyed by the sentence. "If I'm not getting Hiccup, no one will!" He declared while loading his crossbow. Once loaded, Dagur lunched an arrow directly at Hiccup's right leg; injuring him quite badly.
"Ah!" Hiccup screamed as he fell to his knees, holding the arrow with his 2 hands as blood started to ooze down his leg.
While the girl dragon rider, Rapunzel, Merida and Anna attacked Dagur with combined attacks for what he has done to their beloved Hiccup; Jack and Elsa, no longer under the spell of Hiccup's charm, freeze the wound and escorted him to the village healer.
Hiccup woke up in a bed which he recognized wasn't his own. He remembered the events of what happened to him the previous day quite well. Though granted, they were pretty hard to forget.
"Good morning, Chief Hiccup." A young girl, who Hiccup recognized as one of the many healers in trainings, greeted him. "How do you feel?"
"I… think I feel fine." He replied. "I don't feel the arrow in my leg anymore." He said as he rubbed his right leg. As he moved his hands up and down, he unintentionally touched his left leg; only he didn't feel metal there… he felt flesh.
Hiccup quickly pulled the blanket that covered him over his body and noticed that his prosthetic leg was gone, because his left leg seemed to be fully grown back. "My… My leg is back!" He exclaimed, both surprised and happy; but also confused. "How?" Hiccup asked the young healer.
"I tried something new I practiced on for a while, it seems to work." She simply said.
Hiccup was sure that the explanation will be a bit more interesting, but he didn't stick around to ask questions. He had some business to attend to; both as chief and as himself.
Once Hiccup stepped back in the village, his whole fan base was there as well, cheering for seeing that he was alright. Hiccup, on the other hand, wasn't all that happy to see the entire craziness was still going on.
"Okay, guys. Not that you liking me is not flattering, but let's all agree that yesterday went a bit overboard?" He tried to reason with the many girls.
"And that's why we killed Dagur after he shot you." Anna stated.
"What?!" Hiccup asked.
"It was Merida's idea!" Rapunzel shouted in defense.
"The san af a bitch asked fer it!" The red-head argued.
Hiccup was in a loss for words, again. He couldn't take it anymore, he had to find Toothless and fly away for a bit to recollect his thoughts about everything that happened since yesterday morning.
As he walked, Hiccup could hear everyone talking and chattering about him all the time. This was starting to get annoying. Hiccup jogged the way to his home, guessing Toothless will be there, and as he opened the door; another surprise caught his eyes.
"OH… GODS!" Hiccup screamed as at the food table located just in front of the entrance to his home. He found both of his parents; half naked, kissing and robbing each other's bodies with what he assumed was a burning passion. His scream was so loud, that it caused both of them to stop and look at him.
"Oh, Hiccup!" His mother said as she covered herself with her hands.
"Really, mom?!" He screamed in shook and somewhat disgust. "I was only gone for a night and you and dad thought that you could just…" Hiccup stopped his ranting when he realized who he just saw and what he just said. "Dad?" He asked.
The large man with the massive red beard nodded at his son with a big smile.
"But… wait. Didn't you…?"
"I got better." Hiccup's dad quickly dismissed the matter.
"Well, everything just gets a dramatic explanation today." Hiccup muttered, referring to his father being alive and for his leg returning.
Without another second to think, Merida barged into the house. "Hiccup! There ye are!" She said with much glee.
"What do you want?" The young chief asked. He was already tired with all the stuff that kept bugging him for the past 24 hours or so.
"Ah want ye ta meet ma parents!" She exclaimed before 2 people, one was a large man with red curly hair and beard who also had a peg leg and the other was a slim woman with long and smooth brown hair. Both were dressed royally and the man also had a cape made out of bear fur attached to his shoulders.
The 2 royals stopped in their tracks as they saw Hiccup's parents.
"Stoick?" Merida's father asked.
"Valka?" Her mother added a question.
Both of Hiccup's parents looked at the couple in shook. They were indeed familiar with them.
"Fergus! Brother!" Stoick shouted as he ran to hug Fergus.
"Elinor! My sister!" Valka said with much joy as she embraced Elinor.
Hiccup and Merida just looked at the event in shock. "Okay… my apparently cousin from both sides of the family," Hiccup addressed Merida. "Now that there is no chance you are in the lead to marry me, can you tell me if you saw my dragon? Toothless?" He asked.
"Amm… There is na dragan, but ah think there is a guy named "Toothless" aut with the athers." She answered, causing Hiccup to raise an eyebrow at what she said, but after everything that happened he decided not to question anything.
Hiccup came back outside, where all the new fan girls waited for him alongside his childhood friends, and Jack and Elsa, who were too busy making out in the snow to really care about anything.
"Did anyone see Toothless?" He asked.
"I'm here, Hiccup." A voice answered. Hiccup turned in the direction of the voice to discover a young man around his age, dressed in black leather clothes and one red boot on his left leg as oppose to the other leg which was covered by a brown boot.
"Who are you?" Hiccup asked.
"It's me, Toothless." He answered as he got closer. "I turned into a human shortly after our flight yesterday. Now I can tell you how much I love you, Hiccup. Always did."
At that moment, Hiccup just screamed in frustration. His scream was so loud that he probably got the attention of everybody in the village.
Everyone looked at Hiccup with wired faces as he slowly recollected his breath. When it appeared like he relaxed, and was about to speak again, something appeared near where everyone stood. It looked like a magic portal of sorts.
Everyone remained silent as the portal was just there, hanging in the air, and then 2 males and 1 girl came out of it. They all looked very identical to Hiccup when it turned out; they were different versions of Hiccup. One was him from a futuristic world with wired clothes, one was wearing a black cape with some blue trimmings at its ends and the third was a girl version of him who introduced herself as Hica.
Hiccup was ready to give it all up at that moment when out of the portal, came out 3 identical versions of Rapunzel, Merida, Jack, Anna and Elsa. This caused for the entire thing to become even crazier than it already was.
Screams were heard, words were spoken, introductions were made, some friendships between each version and even relationships started to form as Hiccup just stood at the entrance to his home and stared.
"What in going on with my life?" He asked himself. "Why is this shit happening to me? Not anyone else, just god-damn me?"
As if to answer the question, another figure came out of the portal. It was no human, nor a dragon, and it wasn't an alternate anyone.
It was an animal. A rather spiky animal, as spikes made out most of his head. Even though he was an animal, he still stood on 2 legs and he even wore gloves and shoes. He was mostly blue; but his arms, belly and mouth area were with the color of a human flesh. The creature came out of the portal with his eyes closed. Once he opened them, he looked around for a bit and sighed.
"Seems like I'm a bit late for the party." He said, everyone looking at him with wired looks.
Hiccup was the one to get closer to the animal. That thing seemed to know what was going on, so as chief it made sense for him to approach this blue figure that appeared in his village. Plus, after everything he went through, he needed answers. "Who and what are you?" Hiccup slowly asked.
The blue animal looked at him and offered his hand for a shake. "I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog." He answered.
Hiccup hesitantly shook the hedgehog's hand before moving the conversation along. "Okay… Sonic, what is going on here?"
"Something I hoped I could stop, but it's not too late." He answered. "I just need you, along with the 4 princesses and this guy with the staff, to come with me. I know how to stop this." Sonic said as he mentioned to the 6 to follow him.
Hiccup was hesitated at first, but what was there to lose after everything that just happened? Rapunzel, Merida, Jack, Anna and Elsa already walked through the portal when Sonic told them to. Hiccup took a deep breath and walked in as well, Sonic followed right after him.
The 6 humans and the hedgehog arrived at a dark room with very little light in order to see something. All of them heard mumblings which sounded like they were coming from the same room.
After following the little light that was in this wired place, the group arrived at a tall chair standing in front of the light. The mumblings and giggles constantly being heard were coming from behind that chair. "Playtime is over!" Sonic said as he turned the chair around.
In the chair sat a young man, probably in his teens. He had long, messy, black hair that went down his face. He wore big glasses and his face was filled with acne. The white shirt and worn out pants also took away every threatening aspect he could have had.
"OMG!" He suddenly yelled. "THE BIG SIX ARE IN MY HOUSE! THIS IS LIKE… SO AMAZING! I'M HAVING SO MANY FEELS RIGHT NOW!"
Everyone in the group Sonic was leading looked at each other with scared faces.
"I WAS JUST WRITING SOMETHING ABOUT YOU! YOU ALL MEET AND…"
"Yeah, yeah. Listen crazy guy with crazy hair." Sonic interrupted his speech. "What you wrote just caused this guy" He pointed at Hiccup. "To go insane. We came here in order to stop you before you hurt a character you seem to like so much; like you did to me and my friends." The hedgehog finished, crossing his hands.
The guy took a few seconds to think before he nodded. "As you wish…" And then he turned around and the sound of tapping was heard.
Hiccup woke up the same way he woke up every morning, by absorbing Toothless's saliva being all over his face. "Ahh… What the…?"
Hiccup proceeded to pet his dragon's head, in order to stop the wakeup call, and looked around his room. After confirming it didn't have anything strange in it, Hiccup also noticed that he still had his prosthetic leg attached. A sigh of relief followed the discovery.
"You wouldn't believe the dream I had, Toothless." He started to tell the Night Fury. "I would have told you what it was, but I rather forget it as soon as I can." He added before getting up, putting his cloths on, and heading outside to start another day of being chief.
To Hiccup's happiness, he found Astrid to be loyal to him and their relationship, there were no different royals coming over, his mother didn't have a Scottish sister and everything was normal.
That was sure a wired dream, probably one that Hiccup will consider his worst nightmare ever. But deep inside, he knew it wasn't real, and after a while he managed to completely forget about it.
THE END
To those who wonder what the hell they just read, you read sort of a parody on the HTTYD FanFictions. Remember in the beginning when I said this was based on a FanFiction thread on Berk's Grapevine? Well, this was, sort of, a collection of all of these cliches that were mentioned; put together with a small cup of sattire. Sadly, I wasn't able to fit in everything that was mentioned, but I'm happy with how this turned out.
I say again; this is not meant to be taken seriously. Some of the cliches I made fun of here(Like Mericcup, or the Big Six stuff) are ones I DO enjoy(Check my Favorites section if you don't believe me) and I even have stories of my own with those cliches. This is all a complete joke... with its real target being mostly myself for writing such crazy stories for almost 2 years.
Hope you enjoyed this! Leave a review if you have something to say!