Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story they belong respectfully to Kouji Ouji, Hiroko Utsumi, Kyoto Animation.
Warning: Themes of genderbending, heterosexual couples instead of yaoi for once and whatever, you know all that good stuff, some mild OOC-ness… If any of this bothers you then you have the option of not reading.
Music: "Stay the Night" ft. Hayley Williams by Zedd
A/N: Just experimenting with no direction whatsoever. Like, I've been getting really into SouHaru, like no joke at all so writing this, I was really trying to imagine how differently Sousuke would treat Haruka if he was a girl. I get the sense he'd be less aggressive, more gentler or considerate at the very least but also, I just felt like writing this for the sake of writing.
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Sousuke found Haruka standing by the shore, her sandals discarded in the sand and gaze pointed to the dark yet shimmering moonlit horizon line that made up the sea. She looked lost and incredibly lonely; conflicted with herself despite what was supposed to be a relaxing, fun filled evening at the summer festival.
The joy everyone else was experiencing failed to meet her brilliant blue eyes throughout the duration of time the group spent together going from one stall to another. And then at some point, she broke away from everyone, silent and unnoticed. Her presence had always been subtle, Sousuke supposed and even he hadn't noticed she was gone until Nagisa realized Haruka's absence after a long period of time once they passed a stall serving grilled mackerel. And literally everyone knew that the only other thing the girl was obsessed with besides water was mackerel and when no comment was heard about stopping to partake on the grilled fish being made; it was only a matter of time before their group became worried.
Sousuke couldn't understand why he felt so compelled to find her once the observation was made. Maybe it was because Makoto wasn't the first person to jump on board with the idea, let alone allowing such a thing to occur in the first place. The girl clinging to his arm, Chigusa, Sousuke could only assume, must have been one of the reasons for Makoto's strange actions but he didn't see how the younger girl could hinder Makoto's loyal dedication to Haruka. They were best friends after all, right? And even then, Sousuke had a strong inkling that their friendship border lined something more than that. Lovers perhaps, he wouldn't be surprised. Even Rin was hesitant to sound the alarm for a search party, he too probably thinking the same thing he was, that it was Makoto's area of expertise but in the end, he like Sousuke split to find the missing girl.
As he stood there watching her, Haruka oblivious to his very presence, Sousuke was shocked out of his mind when she began to strip out of her blue yukata. Her movements were less than graceful as if the beautiful clothes were suffocating her and so she yanked at the fabrics, tearing away the sash and throwing it into the sand before ripping herself free of the rest of the carefully prepared ensemble in a mad flurry. When Haruka stood, trembling against the sea breeze, her body bare besides the white bra and panties still covering her most private areas, she ran towards the water, moving deeper and deeper into the chilling waves until it reached well past her shoulders.
Only then did Sousuke react, fear driven and he clumsily tore off his sweatshirt, white tee along with it and kicked off his shoes in a hurry, abandoning them in the sand much the same as the ocean blue, teal and yellow spotted yukata he thought suited Haruka so well. It was an adrenaline rush and when he reached her, stopping her short from submerging herself completely into the darkened water, Sousuke pulled her close to his body, turning her around until he had her cradled in his arms. There was barely any struggle from Haruka, there was barely any fight in her at all to be more precise and Sousuke laid his hand behind her head, pressing her close to his chest, right above where his heart was pounding like a mantra. She was safe, Sousuke thought, she was safe and wasn't alone anymore and that was all his mind seemed to chant, over and over again as he held her close.
With the waves beating softly against them, Sousuke stood as a pillar for them, allowing Haruka to lay herself completely against his form as his body enveloped her. She shook in his embrace but gradually went lax, her energy zapped. Haruka couldn't even bring herself to wrap her arms around him, no matter how comforting the idea seemed in the back of her mind but she managed to look up at him, hopeful at first but when she saw who it was, the person who lacked the forest green eyes she loved so dearly, she couldn't help the way her bottom lip quivered, shock, disappointment and then acceptance clouding her eyes all at once in that order.
Sousuke could only imagine what was going through Haruka's mind when their eyes met. Her eyes so deep in color and mystifying—akin to the sensual movements of water itself. They were like a window into her very soul and when those blue orbs slowly casted downwards, Sousuke realized instantly that he didn't want them to tear away from him so sadly.
Heartbeat spiking, his hand moved to cup her face gently, lifting her gaze up to him once more. As he stared intently at her, it was only a matter of seconds before Sousuke leaned down to press his lips against hers. It was distracting enough right? It'd help her forget the sadness that was on her mind right? Or maybe, it'll make things worse, it was a possibility but Sousuke couldn't bring himself to think clearly now as he kissed the girl in front of him with raw determination.
A long time ago, if you were to ask how Sousuke felt about Nanase Haruka, he'd probably say he didn't like her all that much. Her way of thinking, he felt was a little warped, idealistic and a far cry from reality. It made very little sense to him and he most definitely didn't like how much of a distraction (maybe hindrance was a better term) she proved to be in regards to Rin from time to time in his opinion. And yet he found himself in this situation with her, holding her, kissing her—it was downright absurd and yet he felt like it was the best solution to confront her. Everyone else babied her, danced around her like she was a breakable doll ready to fall apart at the seams but Sousuke wouldn't do that he decided, because what she needed he thought, was a taste of the storm and he was more than willing to become the crashing waves that would sweep her off her feet and submerge her into the water.
When he pulled away, leaving mere centimeters floating between them, Sousuke was awed by the sight of Haruka's tears and the slight hiccup in her voice as she reached up to brush her lips with the tips of her fingers. Even in her disheveled state, she was beautiful. Regardless of his first impressions of her, Sousuke always thought she was beautiful and now, seeing her facade shatter to reveal the human behind the mask, he was even more enamored with her than he ever was. Maybe this was her charm, the reason why everyone eventually became drawn to her. The little glimpses she allowed others to see into her world—it was captivating, Sousuke realized at that moment and slowly he brought her close to him again, this time kissing her forehead as the tremors in her body worsened.
He allowed Haruka to cry, scream painfully when she felt the need to and each time, Sousuke embraced her tightly, hoping the closeness would help ease her sorrow, if only a little. He didn't know what was causing her such turmoil but as far as he was concerned, Sousuke wasn't going to leave her alone to drown in her pain.
Eventually, Haruka became silent and when Sousuke looked down, he was surprised to discover that she'd gone and fell unconscious against him. Shifting her better in his arms, he slowly lifted her up, bridal style and trudged out of the ocean water, the both of them soaked to the bone at this point. He did his best to wrap her back up in her yukata and when he went back for his own clothes, he made sure to call Rin to let him know that he'd found her and that there was no need to worry anymore.
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From Rin:
Where are you guys? Is Haru okay?
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From Sousuke:
She's fine, I found her asleep on the beach.
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From Rin:
I'm on my way, we'll take her back home together.
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Like hell Sousuke was going to do that, he thought glaring slightly at his phone screen. There was a reason Haruka disappeared and if she didn't want to be around the others, then he would continue to respect that and keep her away from them for as long as possible. He'd only been to her house a handful of times but his memory proved itself capable of remembering the way there for once as he made the trudge from the beach to the Nanase residence with the home owner cradled in his arms. His actions proved rebellious unfortunately and although Rin did indeed call him multiple times, Sousuke refused to pick up his persistent calls. He couldn't be bothered and neither could Haruka.
When Sousuke arrived at the house, shocked that the front door had been left unlocked, he entered the home feeling slightly irritated by the girl's idleness. He understood that Haruka was comfortable with leaving her home unlocked, having lived in Iwatobi for so long but anything could happen and he made a mental note to reprimand her later as he approached the sliding door that led him to the living room.
It made sense to wake her, warm her up with a hot bath and some soup, Sousuke thought as he placed her down gently on the tatami floor. Brushing away the long strands of hair from her face, his hand moved to rest against her shoulder, and he shook her slowly.
"Nanase." Sousuke said, waiting for a sure sign of movement.
Nothing.
"Nanase." He tried again, his voice slightly louder. "Oi, Nanase."
Again, nothing and Sousuke sighed, wondering if he should try a different approach. "Ha—", He stopped himself short, her name ringing in his head. Taking a deep breath, he counted to five before opening his mouth once more, cheeks slightly dusted with red as he felt his heart beat steadily against his chest. "Haruka." He said her name softly and surprisingly she responded not long after with a broken whine before finally opening her eyes.
"Yama—zaki…" She said, staring at him before letting her eyes wander to take in the new surroundings. "I'm home?"
Sousuke nodded. "Yeah, I brought you home. I didn't think it was appropriate to take you back to the others unconscious, so I thought this was a better choice. But they might come around though, if they're stubborn enough." He explained; the last part an attempt to joke with her but Haruka looked unamused, humming as she curled up into herself.
She looked so small in his eyes now, a far cry from the aloof character she presented herself as when they first met. Not only that, but his initial dislike for her was all but gone, replaced by something different but it wasn't right to jump to conclusions now of all times so Sousuke pushed those thoughts into the back of his mind.
"You should take a hot bath." He suggested suddenly, breaking the ice and startling her yet seeing the way her eyes widened slightly, he smiled gently. "If you do that, I'll make you some soup." He said. "It'll warm you up, both of us actually since we were in the ocean for quite a while."
All Haruka could do was stare, a little shocked by his kindness but eventually she nodded hesitantly in agreement, getting up slowly from the living room floor. She stumbled here and there on her way to run the much needed bath, and her movements forced Sousuke to follow her until she made it safely to the bathroom. Once he saw the steam rise from the running water that was filling the tub and the yukata begin to loosen from her shoulders, Sousuke closed the bathroom door and made his way towards the kitchen.
Rummaging through the cupboards, Sousuke thought it was a miracle Haruka had a few cans of chicken noodle soup lying around in the cabinets. By the time the girl came down, tired but refreshed and dressed in what looked to be her pajamas (an orange shirt that was literally swallowing her up); Sousuke laid a bowl of the soup out for her on the kotatsu in the living room and she took to it slowly. It made Sousuke somewhat relieved that Haruka was being taken care of now though he couldn't very well say the same for himself since he was still on the sticky side no thanks to the ocean water and sand still clinging to him. He felt bad that he brought it into the house and frowning as a result, it didn't take very long for Haruka to notice this and she got up quickly before returning with a towel and a set of clothes.
"These are my fathers." She said, handing the bundle off to him. "I don't know if they will fit you, but you're welcome to take a bath. In the meantime, I'll do the laundry since it was my fault your clothes had gotten so dirty…" She explained, looking down regretfully. "I—I'm very sorry…"
It was enduring, the way she was concerned about him, Sousuke thought. Was this one of the sides of Haruka that Rin was so attracted to? That Makoto saw every day? Now he really couldn't argue about it, he sighed mentally.
"Thank you." He replied simply, reaching out to lift her face up. Staring, eye to eye, Sousuke felt tempted to close the gap between them again, just like he did on the beach but he stopped himself short of acting on those desires and instead stood up with the intention of taking the offered bath.
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Sousuke left his clothes in the hallway for Haruka after he stripped down. When he sank into the hot water, heaven encased his entire body and he sighed contently as his muscles began to loosen under the liquid heat. It was incredibly out of the ordinary for him to be here. It was also very late, so late in fact that he was more than certain that the trains were done for the night. He could already imagine Rin reprimanding him—first for ignoring his phone calls, and second for not coming back to the dorms with him and leaving him to his lonesome. The only consolation Sousuke had to fall back on was the fact that it was a weekend so he was more or less free from punishment from the dorm managers besides having to deal with Rin's sharp tongue later on.
There was a lot to think about though; such as the state of his once nonexistent relationship with Nanase Haruka, her sudden bout of sadness, and dare he say it, attempt of suicide. He hoped to whatever god there was out there that it wasn't the latter wasn't the case but he couldn't be sure until he asked her directly himself and that's what he planned to do, he concluded.
Eventually, the water became lukewarm, and when he accepted that he was clean enough to some degree after scrubbing shampoo into his hair and washing his body with soap before taking a bucket and rinsing himself off, Sousuke stepped out of the water. The borrowed clothes were a little on the tight side. He didn't feel the need to be too surprised though and when he stepped out, rejuvenated he found Haruka waiting silently for him where he'd left her in the living room.
"Your clothes are in the wash." She said the moment she saw him.
"Thanks." Sousuke replied, rubbing the back of his neck before he went to sit down beside her. Knee to knee, he leaned slightly away from her but looked at Haruka still. He couldn't let it drag out anymore. "So, tell me, why did you leave the group? And what were you doing at the beach? Were you planning to drown yourself?"
Haruka stiffened considerably and it didn't go unnoticed as Sousuke watched her actions closely. "I should be the one asking you why you kissed me…" She mumbled, clearly dodging the question and Sousuke's eyes narrowed at that.
"Don't answer my questions with a question."
"I just did." She deadpanned and annoyance for the girl returned to Sousuke instantly.
"You shouldn't get so cocky, Nanase—from where I stood, anyone would think you were on the verge of committing suicide." He retorted and this time, Haruka glared back at him.
She was thinking of something, calculating her next move it seemed and Sousuke waited for whatever she intended to throw at him.
"So what?"
Slowly he began to arch a brow at her, confused.
"So what if it was, it's not like it will matter." She seemed to spit vehemently, blue eyes casted downwards. "I'd have been free and the water would have taken me away from all the troublesome things…"
"So you were intending to run away after all?" Sousuke stared with disbelief and gradually, rage began to fill him and he took her by the shoulders, shaking her once as he glared down at her heatedly. "Don't be such a coward, Nanase!"
"And how can I not be?!" She countered, finally screaming at him and Sousuke stopped, yet his hands remained, gripping her shoulders tightly anchoring her in place. "I have nothing! No dreams, no future to live for after this summer is over! I'll be left behind while everyone else around me paves their own path! It's painful!"
"Then find it!" He exclaimed. "It doesn't matter if you're by yourself because it's your future, not theirs!"
"I can't!" Haruka cried in reply. "It doesn't mean a thing if they're not there beside me!"
"Yes you can and if I have to I'll make sure you do myself!" Sousuke yelled without thinking, holding her face suddenly and he watched intensely as bright blue eyes widened at their closeness. As both of them panted, feeling all sorts of frustration and anger at not only each other, but the obstacles they both had to face thus far, it seemed as though a force was pushing them forward, faster and faster until their lips crashed together.
There was always tension between them and their kiss made for a perfect example of that as well as they moaned and pressed hard against each other. When Sousuke felt small hands clutch at his forearms, he pulled away slightly only to find Haruka flush yet all the more willing to continue kissing it seemed and he leaned forward to peck her lips several times.
"You… you said you would make sure I find my future?" Haruka murmured in question, looking down slowly at her lap, her voice shaking with each word that fell from her lips. "So-Sousuke…" She whimpered his name, the confusion evident and the fear of being alone as clear as day.
Carding his fingers through her dark hair, Sousuke sighed once before leaning down to brush their noses together in an affectionate gesture. It was uncalled for, even for him but it felt right and he smiled lopsidedly as Haruka's eyes squeezed shut and the dusty pink in her cheeks began to glow even brighter. "That's right, I'll help you find your future, even if it means I have to become a part of it along the way."
Immediately, Haruka's eyes opened and she looked at him in disbelief. "But you hate me…"
Sousuke frowned. "I don't hate you..." He replied, laying several kisses along her hairline. "You just frustrate me more than anything but it doesn't necessarily mean that I hate you..."
"You're not making any sense…" She said, shaking her head.
Sousuke sighed as a result though. "What a hypocrite…" he muttered and Haruka glared at him again but the fierce expression was made void when he kissed her full on the mouth again before pulling away in a teasing manner. "It's not like you ever made any sense yourself either."
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Sousuke didn't know when it happened, but eventually, they found themselves moving upstairs to Haruka's room. As he sat up on the bed next to her, eyes focused solely on her, Haruka's arms stretched out for him, urging him to fall forward into her embrace. With a gentle look in his eyes, Sousuke did just that, wrapping his arms around her as he turned them on their side and pulled her close to him. She needed this, the feel of his presence and he was all too willing to indulge her and spoil her rotten. Bad idea, his mind scream but his heart was saying otherwise.
As he tucked her head beneath his chin, Haru seemed to hum contently before she opened her mouth to speak. "What are we?" She asked quietly, closing her eyes as she snuggled up closer to him and basked in his warmth. "I've always thought you hated me and yet we're doing things that only lovers do... So what are we, Sousuke?" She said his name and her heart felt as if it skipped a beat.
At this he became silent for a moment, his mind pondering on the matter. It was true though, what they were doing was out of their usual norm. Some part of Sousuke even felt a tad bit uncomfortable but it wasn't like he could easily stop himself either, as sad as it was to admit. As much as it pained him, he was still all the more willing to fall into step into whatever was happening between them.
After much debate with himself, Sousuke laid himself down carefully over her, pressing her back into the mattress as he leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. "We can be whatever we want to be." Sousuke finally replied, laying more kisses along the length of her neck. "Even a couple, if that's what you want."
Haruka turned her head slightly, confused and yet captivated by Sousuke's boldness. "A couple?"
"It makes sense doesn't it?" Sousuke asked, not understanding her confusion. "I told you, I'd help you find a future." He said, rolling his eyes. "And if that means I'll have to play a part in it along the way, then its only right that if we're doing these like this…" He kissed the front of her throat, feeling Haruka swallow and shiver beneath him. "Then it's only logical that we become a couple."
"I—" Haruka could do nothing else but stare up at him, blue eyes wide but after a while, after much staring her expression seemed to soften and when she turned away, pouting with Sousuke smiling down at her. "Do whatever you want…" She finally said and for a second, the male above her wavered, annoyed.
"If that's your answer, I'm going to take that as a yes." Sousuke grinned forcefully this time and seeing this, Haruka giggled at him just once. Taking in the sight of something parallel to approval and joy spark in her eyes—it left Sousuke reeling in as he leaned down to press their lips together once more. Nanase Haruka was indeed, a very frustrating piece of work, he thought one last time.
A/N: I enjoy ending things on a loving/funny note most times. I think I hit it but then I don't know, I just went with the flow of things. I might write a part 2, just to tie up loose ends with the Makoto situation I made but that'll be later. Like way later or depends on how motivated I am to do it. Yup!Thanks for taking the time to read!