Disclaimer: I do not own 'Young Justice' or 'Falling for the First time' by the Barenaked Ladies
'Atlas Shrugged...and Slipped on a Banana Peel'
by Songsix
===I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser===
It has been a whole year since he had found out about Garth and Tula's new found love, and he still couldn't shake the hurt in his heart and sickness in his stomach. Today was no exception when he saw them happily holding hands swimming along. He knew such an image was inevitable to avoid if he was to check in with his King once in awhile, but really? Would it kill them to get a coral reef?...or a room?
"Recognized. Aqualad. B02."
It was five in the morning when he returned to Mount Justice. All he wanted to do was enjoy a quiet peaceful breakfast before heading to his room to sleep for the rest of the morning. However, when he walked into the kitchen he was surprised to find his teammates already up and running.
"You are all up so early?" he asked in a yawn. He stretched his arms above his head and moaned contently when he felt a pop in his back.
Robin was the first to look up and answer him. He was also the only one who was actually still dressed in uniform. "Been patrolling all night, Kaldur. Gotham never sleeps, y'know? Thought I'd swing by here for a bite, then sleep since it's the weekend." That explains it.
"I grew up on a farm," Kid Flash stated with a glow emitting from him, "getting up before the crack of dawn is nothing new." He wasn't kidding; he seemed to be the only one out of all of them not struggling to keep their eyes open. In fact, he looked quite refreshed.
"These two woke us up, so I thought I'd spend the morning making everyone a hearty breakfa–" Megan explained before accidentally dropping a couple rolls of bread on the ground, "Whoops!"
Wally swooped in and grabbed them off the ground before devouring them in one bite, "Fife shekent bule!" he exclaimed mouth full and bread crumbs flying. Aqualad resisted the urge to roll his eyes; luckily, Robin did it for him while making gagging noises.
Artemis had been laying her head on the table waiting for breakfast, "Yeah, I slept over last night," she grumbled, before walking over to the coffee pot and pouring herself a mug. Unfortunately, Kid Flash got excited by the smell and rushed over for his own cup, but knocked the one in Artemis' hands right onto Robin! Aqualad prepared himself to dismantle an early morning fight.
Strangely enough, Robin was not freaking out over the temperature of the liquid. Must be some pretty thick kevlar, "Gosh darn it, it'll be a whole weekend before I can send my uniform in to be dry cleaned." He was, however, concerned over the well being of his suit's cleanliness. Artemis knocked Wally over the head, who chose to ignore the action and continue his way. This was all probably for the better. Had Kid Flash gotten his hands on a cup of coffee, who knows what trouble he'd have to deal with this morning?
"Really Rob, you can't go around saying 'gosh darn it'. Only wussies talk that way, just say 'god dammit'. It won't kill you. I promise." The red head told his friend, as he zoomed around him while the younger teen fussed with various napkins, Megan flew over. Did his utility belt not hold some sort of Tide To-go pen or something? He could have sworn bats carried around something like that, or maybe that is why they wore so much black – so no one would see any stains.
"Why is it such a problem?"
"Just trust me on this Dude; being older and wiser, I know what's best for you." Wally? Wiser? Knows what is best? Kaldur had to refrain from openly chuckling. But, soon all amusement was drained from his face when he poured out his usual favorite: Cocoa Puffs, and was found with small crispy flakes instead.
"That is odd." Kaldur commented, scratching his chin. Who messed with his breakfast? Seriously, all he wanted is a simple bowl of cereal and bed rest. It was not like he was asking whatever God is out there to bring him World Peace, a complete Democracy, or something else impossible; then again, a peaceful breakfast is pretty nonexistent for a cave full of hormonal cranky teens,
Kid Flash zoomed over smiling brightly. "What's wrong leader-man?" he questioned, grabbing the box and grabbing handfuls of cereal before stuffing his mouth.
"Yeah Kaldur, what's got you all disconcerted?" Robin wondered as well, grinning at the speedster munching away.
"This is not the usual cereal I have…"
"Where's my corn flakes?" Superboy demanded to know, storming over glaring at the younger two of the three boys. Kaldur took the box from Conner examining the inside finding the dry chocolate goodness he had been craving all morning. This was strange…
"Someone had switched the bags." He commented, pouring himself a bowl of the good brown stuff. Oddly enough, or maybe not that odd at all, Kid Flash and Robin were in a fit of concealed giggles between their fingers. Conner was about ready to trap them into a couple hard core noogies when Miss Martian flew over to hold the angered clone back.
She smiled sweetly at her boyfriend, whom calmed down. Kid flash and Robin live to see another morning, "Don't fret over the cereal guys! I'm whipping up some pancakes for all of us! I found a recipe for chocolate chip! It sounded so yummy!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together.
"That's ok Beautiful, we're having bananas." Wally told her, before swallowing one whole and tossing the peel to Robin, whom caught it with one hand mid-air; all the while nibbling away at his own piece of fruit. Superboy fisted his hands tightly and glowered: he hated bananas, it reminded him of monkeys; which he also hated.
Robin adjusted his sunglasses as he sniffed the air in dramatic effect, "Um, Megan, if you're here who's standing by the oven making sure they don't burn?"
"Don't you leave them in the pan for ten minutes?" Miss Martian wondered, cocking her head to the side. Kaldur rubbed his temples as he realized what the Boy Wonder was getting at. For a superhero who's weakness is fire, she sure did generate a lot of them.
"Yeah, but halfway through that time, you have to flip the cake so the sides won't burn." Robin explained, still not bothering to do it himself simply watching the flames arise from the pan; because he was a troll like that. Conner stood idly by because he, quite frankly, didn't know how to make pancakes. Wally…
"Really? How?"
"Gorgeous, you're killing us with your cuteness."…was distracted in playing 'Dr. Love'.
Robin snickered to himself jabbing a thumb towards the growing fire, "Yeah, and that's about to take a literal turn." Artemis she…
"Shut up Wally! It's not so cute when there's a fire!" …was too busy fighting Wally. Suddenly, the flames burst and spark sending embers flying their way. Why was no one doing anything?
"Holy Cow!"
"You said it Rob!"
"I wasn't calling Artemis a cow I mean: Holy Cow we're all about to be engulfed in fire!"
"Kaldur do something!" Of course, it was always up to him to do something with common sense…
Sighing deeply for the umpteenth time that morning, Kaldur grabbed behind for his water bearers and shot what was left of his water fuel at the growing flames. The rest of the team whooped and cheered for their leader, giving him congratulatory slaps to the back -and one to his butt, courtesy of Artemis - as if he had accomplished a heroic feat. Seriously, do they not ever get tired of these shenanigans?
At least M'gann stood in the corner shamefully staring at her feet with embarrassment. It was nice having one person understand the ridiculousness of the situation. Their glorious hero walked towards her placing a kind hand on her shoulder letting her know it was all right. She looked up at him with big brown eyes, and in a small voice apologized, "I'm so sorry Kaldur…"
Kaldur put on his best smile hiding his frustrations, "It is ok M'gann, as long as you try harder for this not to happen…again," like every other god forsaken Morning.
"Thank goodness Kaldur here has water abilities, huh?" Robin chimed in, nudging him in the elbow. Somehow, he just knew the kid could tell it bugged him. The little...
"Really Dude, can't you ever just swear like a normal person?" Wally popped in, rolling his eyes munching on a new banana.
"Naw, Batman has this rule about me and swearing." The two trouble makers walked away continuing their ramblings leaving Kaldur to finally enjoy his cocoa puffs in peace with Conner by his side eating corn flakes.
===I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out===
"Last one in the water has to hotwire the bat-mobile!" cackled the resident hacker, as he made a belly flop off a nearby cliff and into the clear blue ocean. Following close behind was the rest of the team, happy to be enjoying a day at the beach together.
"Are you crazy, you midget? Batman would kill us. He already wants to see both me and Flash trapped in Antarctica! Ice plus speedster equals disaster!" Wally called after, yelling at the smaller teen that only smirked in amusement. Maybe Batman wouldn't hold so many vendettas against speedsters if they stopped pulling at his cowl - or attempt to - when he wasn't looking; crack multiple stupid jokes within an hour; continuously try to steal the wheels from the bat-mobile as a prank - thus influencing poor little orphans to think, 'it is ok, Jason' - when he's out on patrol, or simply exist.
"Golly Wally, don't get your knickers in a knot." Robin laughed, flapping his arms around in the cool water enjoying himself. Up until Kid Flash made a canon ball into the water creating a huge splash, followed by Superboy and Artemis.
"Seriously dude, we need to do something about your language."
Kaldur stayed behind with Miss Martian, being the gentleman he is, to help set up the picnic she had concocted: Hotdogs to slap on the grill, buns, chocolate chip cookies, cheesy casserole, fish sticks, a fresh salad, beans, more bananas -requested by Wally and Robin - cheesecake and so much more. Today was going to be a good day. He flung the towels into the air straightening them out with a snap and carefully laid them out strategically around the umbrella they had brought out. Megan was just about to thank him for his help, until he came out from under the shade and her eyes went wide in shock."Whoa! What's with your skin?"
The other teen shook his head at her naivety scratching his elbow, "M'gann, I thought we have gone over this. The TV shows you have watched in your studies of earth were created during an era in which people with skin of darker tones were not aired. Humans come a variety of races, and-" but the girl shushed him before he could keep going slapping his hand away from itching his skin.
"No silly! I mean, there are bumps all over your arms and legs!" Kaldur finally stopped to look at himself. She was right, how could this happen?
Artemis than chimed in, "She's right, Babe." Babe?
He was just about to scratch his head, when Miss Martian slapped his hand once more. "No no no Kaldur! I read about this! You shouldn't itch! These are mosquito bites." she reprimanded wagging her finger.
"I know what mosquito bites are." he replied, gritting his teeth slightly. The fluster getting to him as he did his best to resist the screaming urge to itch. His skin was prickling and tickling all over.
"Then quit being stubborn and stop itching them. Here, let me rub some aloe on it for you." Artemis offered with a sly smile, holding up the bottle of the soothing goop. He backed away a bit as she inched closer to him, squeezing a huge dollop onto her hands. Suddenly, he felt a blush rising on his neck, since when did this girl make things so awkward?
"Er…I am alright Artemis." he responded, waving his hands in front of him.
But she didn't seem to want to take 'no' for an answer. "How are you going to reach your back than hmmm?" she questioned with half lidded eyes reaching out to him. Just when he was about to topple over onto his back, a pair of strong hands grabbed him from behind slapping on the cool aloe to his back rubbing it in. Artemis frowned in disappointment, but shot their leader a wink before diving back into the water.
With great gratitude, Kaldur thanked the other teen, "Thank you, Conner."
===I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby===
Passing over the fish sticks, for obvious reasons, Kaldur happily picked up his hot dog off the grill with a pair of tongs. He didn't know what it was about this American past time favorite, but he liked it all the same. Even if there were already ongoing jokes about it being Aquaman's favorite food, but hey, it beat eating his deep fried friends.
He held the wiener at his mouth, inching it closer and closer, closing his eyes, and licking his lips at the delectable sight. Just as he was about to place it inside the caverns of his mouth for that satisfying bite, he forgot an important ingredient: ketchup.
"Wal-….Ro-….Arte-…" when he realized all three teens were trouble, he made sure to ask the kinder member of their team; just in case the other ones would try something fishy with him, "M'gann, could you please pass me the bottle of ketchup?"
"Sure thing Kaldur!" Megan chirped, before reaching around the basket and pulling out the familiar red bottle handing it to him. Carefully, he examined the bottle for any holes; checked the looseness of the nozzle; when he was sure no one rigged the bottle he squirted the red topping all over his wiener, and he made sure to cover every inch of it. When he was happy with the amount he squeezed on, he held it to his face, let the end linger on his lips, licked it, than shoved it into his mouth.
But suddenly...
Suddenly...
His cheeks puffed up red; his eyes were burning; there was a strong stinging on his tongue; his throat was on fire, and he started perspiring giant beads of sweat. What kind of ketchup was this?
"Kaldur what's wrong?"
"Oh, Babe, what's going on?"
"Golly, you don't look to good Kaldur."
"Water…I need…"
"Dude!"
"Quick! Someone get him water!"
"Golly? Ugh, how many freakin times do I have to-"
"Wally! Robin! This is NOT the time."
"I need…water! Now."
Just when Kaldur thought he was going to die, there was a crash of cold and wet at the top of his head. Unfortunately, it was his tongue that was dying...
"I think he wanted to drink the water." Robin explained to Conner, whom shrugged his shoulders sheepishly as their leader crumbled to the ground. Artemis threw her arms in the air at the ridiculousness of the situation, dug through the cooler, pulled out a blue and white carton, and shoved it into Kaldur's face cradling his head in her lap.
"Drink milk, my mom always tells me to drink milk if your tongue is burning." She told him, and he eagerly sipped the liquid slowly feeling the nice refreshing sensation dance on his tongue as relief passed through him. For a moment, he almost grabbed the carton out of her hands and chugged the whole thing.
As the poor boy drank contently, Artemis took the bottle of red and squeezed a small dot on one finger. She stuck it in her mouth and pulled it out with a pop, her eyes wide with an epiphany, "I found the problem, this tastes like srirachi sauce." She explained to the team, most of them cocking their heads in confusion.
Megan scratched her head never once remembering she packed such a condiment in their picnic basket. "What's that?"
Artemis took the bottle squirting a decent amount on her own hot dog and taking a bite with only a positive reaction to the flavor, unlike their fallen comrade, "Asian hot chili sauce." She answered simply, mouth full.
Megan giggled and patted the Atlantean on the head, who gaped like a fish out of water –more literally than anything at this moment – at the surprising find. "Kaldur, if you have a low tolerance for hot sauce why would you put it on your hotdog?" she asked.
"Yeah, doesn't sound too smart Kal, my man," Wally added in not so helpfully at the least bit.
"I did not…nevermind."
===I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me===
They were gathered around in the shadows on a covert mission to spy on Ra's Al Ghul's men in Gotham City. Batman has had his suspicions about the man as of late, and now it was their job to see if there was anything they could dig up. This was going on while Miss Martian and Superboy were on their own in Star City assisting Red Arrow with a couple of thugs that have been suspected to be a part of the light. That meant Aqualad was handling the other remaining teammates on his own. Great.
From an anonymous tip, they were told a couple of his goons would be meeting at a sketchy bar down town. They were going to hide in the alley, pick them off at the door one by one, and interrogate them for some answers. The key to this mission was to not underestimate them and to not be seen or heard. "Alright team, we need to be as swift and as quiet as possible." Aqualad explained in a low voice, icy green eyes darting around for nods of recognition.
"Don't we always have to shut-up and be fast all the time?" Kid Flash wondered with a snarky tone, rolling his eyes. As soon as he heard their instructions, he'd been complaining the whole time knit-picking at anything he could, because he thought this job was too easy.
Before Aqualad could scold him, the Boy Wonder took it upon himself to answer for him, "Yeah, but you never stop talking Kid Mouth."
"Team…" Their leader started, but they ignored him for a glaring contest instead.
"Says Mr. 'Look at me, I'm the Boy Wonder so I can do whatever I want on missions because I can do flips and shit'. You always swoop in and give us away." Kid Flash countered in a harsh whisper, jabbing his finger into Robin's chest.
Slapping the other boy's hand away, he scoffed at him, "Uh, Hello? Wrong. I've been trained by the Batman, so I doubt it's always me who reveals our location."
"Robin, Kid Flash…" Aqualad tried again, but they waved their hands in his face. Bet they would respect their leader more if he were Batman or Black Canary.
"Are you implying it's always my fault?"
"Yes, yes he is." Artemis jumped in.
"The mission?" Better yet, they would probably respect their leader more if he were even Captain Marvel or Captain Planet. Aqualad groaned to himself as he saw where this argument was already going.
"Who asked you?"
"Nobody, but somebody had to step in and tell you how stupid you're being."
"Guys…" Aqualad wondered to himself if it was too late to go with Red Arrow, or maybe a solo career wouldn't be so bad. Actually, he's even heard something about a team of titans, was that like a Greek thing? Was Wonder Girl the head of it or something?
"I'm not stupid; you're stupid!"
"Great comeback Baywatch, got any more clever lines up your sleeve? Or did you waste all of them on Megan?"
"What are you? Jealous?"
"Why the fuck would I be jealous?"
"Guys…" Aqualad raised his voice just a tad louder when he noticed one of the goons making his way to the entrance of the bar. They were going to lose their chance if this bantering kept up!
"I dunno, why are you being defensive?"
"Can you two get a room? Really? If it's money you need I can loan you some." Robin commented, digging into his pockets with seriousness.
Kid Flash shoved the other boy in response, "Cram it, Boy Blunder."
Robin shoved him back as hard as he could, causing the speedster to tumble over into a pile of garbage bags, "Real mature, Kid Dimwit."
The speedster stood up with a jolt wiping the trash off of him, Artemis chortled at the sight, "Oh, and you're being mature?"
"GUYS!" Now Aqualad was pretty pissed, and just as he was about to rip each of them a new one for wasting time and for risking the state of the mission…
"I'm thirteen; I can be whatever I want."
"Then don't preach to me about being mature."
"I'll show you mature!" …Kid Flash jumped Robin sending them tumbling out in the open wrestling for dominance as they threw punches, kicks, and pulled hair. Artemis crossed her arms and simply watched with utter amusement. It was like watching two male dogs fight for dominance…same thing, but different ending. They continued to fight up until one of the thugs realized they were, as the goons referred to them as–
"LOOK MARTY! It's those fruity costumed freaks!" –Fruity costumed freaks–
"And a black guy!" –and a black guy.
The Team jumped to their feet ready to fight. But the idiot thugs actually had smart tactics up their sleeves prepared for anything. They pulled out high tech stun guns shooting at Aqualad first leaving him paralyzed on the ground, but his eye was still twitching. Luckily, Robin flicked a batarang at their hands breaking their weapons before they could get another shot in. The other boys then attacked with full force charging at them, but before they had a chance to whoop their asses they released a giant eight foot man with a veiny red neck, tattoos clad all over his body, and a not so disconcerted face to fight them. All Robin could do was jump and dodge his attacks as Kid Flash tried coming at him with full force. Artemis shot arrows from afar at the other men coming at them, but in the end it was no use. Their leader was down, Artemis was running out of arrows, and the large man was too much muscle for Kid Flash and Robin. So they had to use Plan B...
"Kid! Robin! Grab Aqualad and let's get out of here!" Mission: Failed. Had they kept their cover and plucked them off one by one, Ra's Al Ghul's mean wouldn't have gotten the upper hand.
Kid Flash plucked Aqualad up from the ground and carried him bridal style out of there while Robin swung away with Artemis in his arms. When they were sure they were a good and safe distance away, they slumped their bodies down against the brick walls of the building they had found out of breath. Robin took it upon himself to search through his various medicinal fluids concocting a medicine for their leader's state while messaging back and forth with Dr. Thompkins on what to use. When he was finished, he stabbed Aqualad in the chest with a long needle –yes, it was more painful than a flu shot –bringing back his ability to move. The first thing he did was bury his face in his hands in shame. There was an awkward silence among the four of them as they were not too sure what to say. They knew it was their faults, and poor Aqualad was the one to suffer most.
But being the mouth he is, Kid Flash spoke up, "I know we're totally S.O.L. right now guys, but…" Aqualad looked at him waiting for him to saying something encouraging, smart, anything that would help the situation. He was a science guy, he had good things to say…"come on Robs! We were in immediate danger and not even a 'shut the hell up'?" …and really incredibly idiotic ones too.
"KF?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut your trap."
Hours later, the four of them found themselves standing frozen as Batman paced back in forth in front of them with a mighty scary glare, "I am not happy. Tonight you have failed to co-operate as a team and let your petty arguments get in the way of the mission," he shot a look at his ward and his red headed chum before continuing, "I expect a complete and typed report on what went wrong from you. As the leader, you should have been able to dismantle the situation. I trust we are at an understanding." Batman then left without another word, Robin at his side. Miss Martian and Superboy had been watching from afar, sorry for their friends, especially for Kaldur.
Miss Martian placed a tender hand over his giving an apologetic look, "Kaldur?"
But he moved away and stalked off to his room without looking anyone in the eye, "I will be in my quarters. Working."
===I'm so sane, it's driving me crazy===
Out of the kindness of her heart and the worry for her friend, Miss Martian pulled a big batch of chocolate chip cookies freshly made just for Kaldur. They were gooey, warm, and Wally-Proof because they were baked with small bits of seaweed – Kaldur's favorite. She knocked on the door of his room softly, achieving his attention as he looked away from the stacks of paper on his desk. There was clear frustration on his face and bags under his eyes. He had pretty much been spending the whole day in his room working, and it was not fun when there, for some off reason, were fruit flies swarming about that he had to swat at. "Hey, I have cookies." She offered, and the tenseness in his shoulders relaxed.
"Thank you, M'gann. This was very sweet of you." He thanked, taking one cookie and letting it melt in his mouth. There was a nice blissful expression on his face that brought a smile to her face. However, there was also an unusually terrible smell that brought a wrinkle to her nose. She chose not to acknowledge it knowing very well Aqualad's weakness to identifying smells on land. Maybe he did not clean his room properly?
"Of course, how are you feeling?" She asked, placing a comforting hand on his arm
He sighed deeply, "I am fine, and there is nothing to worry about."
"Are you sure? Because I know it must suck having to-OH MY GOSH! YUCK!" Megan jumped away dropping the plate of cookies letting them scatter about his floor. The plate shattered into multiple pieces. Her finger shook as she pointed in disgust at what was apparently the source of the terrible smell in his room and the fruit flies.
A pile of rotten banana peels. How did he miss that?
It took everything in Aqualad not to barricade himself in the bathtub, which wasn't too hard since Superboy was busy washing down Wolf. Someone had coated the poor thing in banana mush bringing a swarm of fruit flies to Conner's room as well.
The whole team was currently sitting in the living room as they tried to think up solutions for their oldest two boys' living arrangements. Megan placed a warm blanket around each of their shoulders. "I'm so sorry about what happened to your room Conner. Yours too, Kaldur." She apologized, flying around trying to make them comfortable while Artemis looked at them with pity.
"Who knew fruit flies liked bananas?" Robin commented, his legs swung over the head of his chair sitting upside down looking up Wikipedia pages on the insects on his holo-comptuer.
"Yeah! What a finding!" Wally added in, now munching on a banana. The sight caused Kaldur to feel queasy in his stomach as he thought about the state of his room.
"Yeah, this sucks," Superboy commented, glaring the red head down.
Robin flung his body right side up and placed his hands on his hips, "Well, since Supey already lives here I guess he has dibs on the couch, but what about you?" he asked Kaldur.
Aqualad furrowed his eyebrows in thought, "I am not sure actually."
"You can always crash at my place leader-man. I'm sure my Uncle won't mind." Wally suggested, swinging an arm around him grinning widely with a mad look in his eye.
"Yeah! And I'm spending the night so it'll be a fun sleepover." Robin cackled, resting his chin a top Kaldur's head. They exchanged looks at each other before bringing their stares back to their leader's eyes. There was hesitance and fear on his face.
"You could also stay with me Sweet stuff." Artemis threw in, winking very 'chalent-ly'.
Conner rolled his eyes and stood up to cut in with a boom, "Or, you could ask Red Arrow if he has room at his place." He growled at the speedster and the Boy Wonder, not feeling the 'aster' at all.
Kaldur jumped up from his seat away from the young three in an instant, "I will test my chances with Roy."
===I'm so chilled, no wonder its freezing===
Kaldur sighed tugging at the collar of his turtleneck as he stood outside the door of Roy's apartment. Last time he came here, it was to pick him up for a guy's night out just like old times. However, that day Roy woke up late and was in nothing, but a towel and he could have sworn he saw a half naked woman with long black hair climbing out the window. The last visit was extremely awkward to say the least.
He lightly knocked on the door while hoping he would not find himself with the same image as last time. The knob rattled, and the door swung open to a fully clothed Roy Harper to his luck. Strangely enough, the grown boy was fidgeting in his spot."O-Oh, hey Aqualad…what are you…doing…here?" He asked nervously, scratching his head and giving the most uncomfortable smile in the whole world. Kaldur raised an eyebrow confused at his behavior. Maybe he did have a woman here earlier.
"Someone has pranked my room, and now it is swarmed with fruit flies." He replied starting to feel a little odd himself.
"Man, uh…that stinks." Roy babbled, still behaving in a very bizarre matter.
"Yes, literally as well. I was hoping you had extra room for me to stay here?"
"Can't you go back to Atlantis or whatever the place is called?" As soon as Roy made the suggestion, the image of Tula and Garth holding hands and singing 'Kiss the Girl' came to mind, along with a bucket that he would have used to puke.
"No. I cannot."
Roy groaned as he leaned against the frame of his door. "What about Mount Justice?" He threw out, with hopeful glee in his eyes. Kaldur didn't miss that look; maybe Roy was mad at him for something?
"The same had happened to Superboy. So now he has occupied the only couch." He explained, as Roy picked at his arm sheepishly.
"Alriiiight, I guuuess. But we have to set some ground rules." Roy told him with a stern expression wagging his finger in his face. Kaldur didn't even blink an eyelash.
"I am grateful and willing to follow and respect any rules you have for your home."
Roy nodded affirmatively before continuing. "Kay, rule number one. You cannot go into my room."
"Understandable."
"Rule number two. Do not. I swear to god. Come into the bathroom if I'm in there for any reason."
"Um…alright?"
"Last rule. If any of my boxers go missing, you're dead. I'm watching you," as Roy said this he pointed two fingers at his eyes and pointed them back to Aqualad in the most threatening way he could.
"That is a strange–"
"Follow them. Or leave."
"I will follow them." Roy moved out of the way for him to enter, but as Kaldur walked past the other boy jumped away with his arms up shielding his body.
Suddenly, this visit was a thousand times more awkward than the last visit, and no one was even naked this time.
===I'm so thrilled, to finally be failing===
"Recognized. Aqualad. B02."
After what might possibly be one of the longest nights Kaldur had ever endured in his whole entire life, he returned to Mount Justice. Figuring he would feel a lot more comfortable sleeping on the cold bare ground than dealing with Roy's sudden abnormal behavior, he came back. Every time that man went to the bathroom he made sure to do the two finger point. When they sat on the couch to watch television, Roy made it point that they had to sit on opposite ends of the couch. Then, later in the night when he went to Roy's bedroom to ask if he had any extra blankets the archer gave him a whole speech about how they were too old to be having slumber parties, the inappropriateness of them sleeping in the same bed, and how he was not going to fall for any of Kaldur's 'crap'.
In short, the man was acting like a bigger lunatic than Captain Marvel was.
"Hello? Is anyone here?" He called out, his voice echoing against the walls of the cave. When he heard no response, he continued his way through the halls in search of his friends. There was an eerie creepy feeling in the air, so he kept his guard up watching out for anyone who may jump out at him.
"Hello? M'gann? Conner?"
"I'm here Kaldur."
He almost jumped at the sound of the sultry voice. He looked behind him into his abandoned bedroom to find the team archer lying very provocatively across the bed…"Artemis?"…naked. He didn't what was more unusual: that or the fact his room still had a swarm of flies and she willing to wait there for him.
"Hey sweet stuff. Nice to see you too." She greeted, twirling a strand of blonde hair in her fingers licking her lips suggestively. Kaldur was blushing all over not really quite sure how to handle the situation. He would be prepared for the worst as the leader always, but this time that did not seem to be the case. He wondered how rude it would be for him to make a run for it back to Roy's place, she'd never go there!...right?
"I am sorry, but I am feeling very uncomfortable…What are you doing?" He did his best to keep his cool, but it was a little difficult when he was alone with a girl, who was naked, and rubbing her nude-y parts on him.
"Come on Kaldur, don't tell me you've never seen a girl naked before?" She whispered hotly in his ear. He analyzed the situation carefully deciding what were his options. Icy green eyes darted around the room looking for escape methods. If he knocked the book case with his foot over ever so slightly it could knock her out. Perhaps if he shoved her into the bed…she'd get the wrong idea. He could try Wally's tactics and simply rip a good one, but he had too much class for that.
"I must leave. Artemis, this is sexual harassment."
"You're not going anywhere Big Boy." She than cupped his…'big boy' parts forcing him to take drastic measures.
"Superman?" He yelled, pointing behind her.
"Huh?" taking the bait she looked away and he made his escape dashing down the hallway, "get back here!"
Wally and Robin were walking down the halls coming home from the comic book store having just bought a new deck of Pokémon cards. They were still in a debacle over the younger boy's vocabulary. "Just once, Robin pleeeease?" The speedster pleaded with his hands together. Robin shook his head refusing to give in, neither of them noticing their heroic leader running past them in a flurry.
Robin sighed adjusting his sunglasses, "Wally, you know I…Holy shit, Artemis!"
Wally grinned widely happy beaming down at his friend, "Bro! You finally did it; you final-HOLY MOLY!"
"It doesn't have to be if you want it!" Artemis shouted at him, but no way in heck was he stopping.
"Artemis s-stop it!"
Superboy was making his way towards his bedroom to retrieve his favorite boots when he ran by, "Kaldur?"
"Excuse me, Conner." The clone was unfazed by Artemis's lack of clothing, but his eyes never left his poor friend.
===I'm so done, turn me over===
Conner made his way towards the beach looking for Kaldur. The boy wading in the ocean water looking out at the sky with his head hung low and his hands behind his back. He frowned at the sight not liking when his friends were down. Especially the one that kept them all together and gave them each hope whenever anyone felt there was none left.
"Are you alright?" He asked Kaldur, standing not too far behind him.
Kaldur kept his head down never moving from his spot. He stood there quietly for a moment before sighing and finally replying, "No Conner, I am not."
"Why's that?"
The Atlantean shook his head with his mouth in a firm line as a million thoughts of everything that had been going wrong that week went through his head, "being a leader comes with many responsibilities and many disciplines." He explained with a deflated tone.
Conner merely furrowed his eyebrow, "like what?" This frustrated Kaldur. Did he really need to spell it out for him?
He turned on his heel to finally face the other boy, his body calm but his eyes enraged."As a leader, you cannot always voice how you feel, and you must have a lot of patience with those around you. If even for a second you show weakness it will only-"
"Show that you're just a teenager?"
"Yes, Conner. Exactly."
Kaldur was taken aback when the other boy's lip suddenly curled up into a smile, "uh, you are just a teenager."
"We are superheroes. It is our given duty with these powers to always be held to high expectations and to be responsible."
"I hate to be the one to tell you that's a lame way to live; but, it is," Conner grinned, "just do what you want. Y'know? Be a teenager."
Kaldur begun to go off almost babbling, "we are on a covert team doing missions for the League and-"
"And are we on a mission right now?"
The Atlantean had to pause for a moment, he had a point, "well, no, but a good leader is always acting as a leader."
"But a smart leader knows when to take a break." Conner added in, crossing him arms in triumph. "Being the head of our team doesn't mean you always have to be on edge," Aqualad couldn't help but chuckle when Superboy told him not to be on edge all the time. "Being a leader also doesn't mean you have to be a wussy and take crap from Kid and Robin when they switch your cereal, pour sugar in your bath water, give you hot sauce instead of ketchup, swarm your room with fruit flies, tell Red Arrow you have a crush on him–"
"That explains it."
"–or leave half naked pictures of you in Artemis' room with love letters."
"That explains even more."
They both shared a laugh, all the tension from Aqualad being released. For the first time in a long time he finally felt O.K. "Thought you were smart enough to see what was going on." Conner commented, his grin never leaving his face.
"Conner you…" Kaldur started, pausing for a moment to find the right words "…For a boy who has only walked this earth for one year, you are quite wise."
The other boy only nodded before getting a strange glint in his eye. Normally Kaldur absolutely hated whenever any of his teammates got that look, but he had a feeling he would like this a lot."Now I don't know if you're interested in getting back at Kid and Boy Wonder but…"
"Oh, I am quite interested."
"I have this bottle of Veet from Megan," Aqualad raised a brow and Superboy simply pointed to the label that read: Hair Removal Cream, "and their bath soaps are free game right now…"
"Kid Flash and Robin are-?"
"-Currently running amuck at Red Arrow's place."
"Count me in."
===Cause it feels just like I'm falling for the first time===
Author's Note: Hey there, ho there, hi there. This is an Aqualad oneshot I finished only halfwau through back in August and finally got around to finishing it. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought I'd LOVE to hear any comments you have. I'm excited to know if anyone understood any or all jokes made in here. Thankyou for reading!
Thankyou to TheWickedWizardoOz for beta-ing.