Temptations and Intentions
A/N So, my friends, while Witness was a good episode to get them back into bed, a lot of this is about how they dance around each other for the months before that. And even then, the actual hook-up went differently than I expected. This feels like a setup story for future installments, and while I feel it's complete as is, it whet my appetite for more. Hopefully it will do the same for you.
Gibbs
Over the next few months, I forced things in my life back into their normal shapes. Once the marks on my back and shoulders from Tim's nails and teeth faded, I took my redhead with the convertible out and we picked up with the same old routine. Good food, good bourbon, good sex. Well... It was okay. She seemed happy, anyway.
Abby talked about Tim a few times, so he stayed on my radar. She said they were seeing each other a little, so I let it be.
When I was shot in the shoulder, I couldn't bear to see my redhead. If Tim had been around... No.
So I filled in the time and the pain and frustration with bourbon and shouting at everyone to find the bastard who'd shot me. Sometimes it takes a bastard to find a bastard. But even though that desire to catch him still kept a cold corner of my mind, other cases came around, and we had to keep doing our jobs.
When a bunch of Agents were out sick, HR pulled some probies from other offices, and I couldn't help but request Tim. I wanted to see him myself, make sure he was doing okay. I kept focused on the cases when we worked together...mostly.
McGee
Being around Gibbs again was...tough. The way he ignored the looks I gave him finally got to me so wound up I was unable to keep myself from poking at him. A 'slip of the tongue' insinuating intimacy with Abby got me a glare that made me half hard, then nothing again. The man was infuriating. And gloriously hot.
That first case together in Washington was the worst; as I was leaving I had to see him with his girlfriend, then he spoke so softly to me... God, it sucked. I pushed the annoying DiNozzo, trying to get him into trouble with Gibbs as I left, but it was petty and I knew it.
When I came to Washington again to help with the investigation of the murder of an agent, I could tell how much Gibbs was hurting. I ached to comfort him, but there was just no way. All I could do was my best at my job, and in spite of the crazy, unorthodox methods DiNozzo used, we did solve the case.
Gibbs
I was shocked by how comforted I felt when we were investigating Pacci's death and McGee showed up to help. I had him TAD'd to work the case with us, telling myself we needed the extra man.
Damn, who was I kidding? Hopefully I was kidding everyone...
Well, we found the murderer, and death by cop was the choice he made. No loss there, because I made sure he knew Chris Pacci's name before he went down. Son of a bitch should have suffered, but if we go down that road, we end up not knowing what's right and wrong anymore. Better one clean shot and move on.
McGee
Shit. I let slip to DiNozzo that I'd slept with Abby. I didn't really want Gibbs knowing that. But he wanted me to get more experience, so maybe I did want him to hear about it... I was so confused. I tried to just focus on the case at hand. At least once we cracked it I had ammunition to use against Tony; he'd tongue-kissed a male to female transsexual and was horrified by it. I'm not sure why, except that she was also a murderess, but he was freaked out, so I was happy to run with it.
The next time I was sent up to Washington was when Agent DiNozzo went missing. I didn't like the man, but it was still horrible to have him vanish, and Gibbs was frantic in his stoic Marine way.
Gibbs
Again having Tim show up amidst a crisis was like a balm on my raw nerves. He and Abby worked together and we found Tony. I was starting to consider something crazy... Agent McGee was an asset. Every time we called him in, he stepped up and made the case easier. But I struggled with my reactions to him, still. Could I see him each day at work and not break down and fuck him senseless?
Only one way to know. I kept him TAD'd to the team a while longer, and he and Abby came up with more ideas for tracking my most wanted: the terrorist who'd invaded our building, held our people hostage in Autopsy, and shot both the assistant M.E. and me.
I slipped when he was working on implementing a new facial recognition search on my computer, though. I forgot where we were and I touched him, ruffling his silky hair and letting myself enjoy the smell of him; the closeness. I passed it off as needling DiNozzo, but I knew I'd better watch it.
McGee
I wanted to ask why I kept getting assigned to work with MCRT, but I couldn't bring myself to question something so great. Not only was I working with the elite team, I was getting to spend time with both Abby, who was a ton of fun, and Gibbs, who made my heart get stuck in an ongoing race with my libido. I understood how important finding that terrorist was to him, so I was constantly working on ways to improve the facial recognition search for him. It was a challenge, and I do love a challenge.
But the more time I spend with him, even when he was being nice, even when he touched me and I thought I might faint, I sensed that it wasn't going anywhere. My attention returned to Abby. She was fun, a friend, so I wondered if we could make something more out of our casual relationship. After another sleepless night, one of so many, thinking about Gibbs, I decided to try. Boy, what a mistake! She got all stiff and weird, and it made me realize that she probably sensed that I wasn't into it wholeheartedly either. We talked more during the next case, and I thought we'd be able to return to the casual nature of our earlier interactions.
Gibbs
I took too much pleasure in knowing Abby had shot Tim down. I tried to tell myself that it was because they really weren't right for each other, but really, I still selfishly wanted Tim for myself. I'm sure she was a good experience for him, and they would probably continue seeing each other until it petered out, but I didn't want to consider what I'd feel like if he got serious with anyone. The temptation grew to try getting serious with him myself...
What a wakeup call when we had a case with a gay victim we were investigating. The man had killed himself rather than face up to loving another man, and that was still the sort of prejudice McGee would be facing if we tried to make a go of it. He was sensitive, and still a kid, there was no way I'd put him through that. So back in the lock box deep inside me those feelings went.
McGee
I got to see a different side of Gibbs when he started to go a little crazy looking for the terrorist who'd shot him. I don't know what changed from the week before when I helped them investigate the previous case, but he was terrifying when he became obsessed with his search. And achingly hot.
I got sidetracked at one point working with Abby, and he walked in and yelled at me and I understood for the first time why everyone was afraid of him. I'd never had his anger directed at me before, and while it made my knees turn to jelly, it firmed up other parts of my anatomy... I was nervous to be alone with Abby after that since he'd seemed like he was actually jealous and I didn't want him to think I'd ever choose her over him: for anything.
I loved sitting at his desk, working on his computer, surrounded by all the bits and pieces of his life. He had nothing at all personal on his computer, but his reading glasses, the empty coffee cups in his trash... Just the smell of him in his space; I found it comforting.
The one time Gibbs and I were alone together in the squad room, he got in my face about making assumptions and instead of being aroused, I nearly wet myself. God, he's scary when he's pissed!
I'd barely calmed down when he came back and yelled some more, but he was more intense than angry. His famous gut seemed to indicate we might be closing in on the terrorist. It was fascinating and exhilarating to be involved.
Gibbs
When we discovered that Ari was not going to pay for what he'd done, a black fury engulfed me. Talking with Tobias while I worked on my boat, I was unable to hold it in anymore. Somehow, Tim's big pretty eyes floated into my awareness amidst the storm. The dream of Kate, lying dead on the slab in Autopsy, returned to me but with those eyes of his closed forever. There was no way I was letting Ari walk. It was better to get even than to get revenge. I knew what to do.
Shooting that bastard in the shoulder, just like he had me, was one of the most satisfying shots I had ever taken.
It was after that that I knew I needed Tim closer. I'd get him on my team, somehow. He was mine.
~~~NCIS~~~
Gibbs
I kept figuring that I was going to get used to having him in the office all the time. It was both good and bad; he was an excellent addition to our team. But the distraction, when I let it affect me, was difficult. I wanted him to learn more, to gain confidence and become a better agent. I don't know how to teach that, other than to tell my team to watch and anticipate. He soaked it up, and I could tell he was going to make a fine agent.
Over time, it did start to get a little easier. I didn't think I was ever going to feel parental toward him like I did the others, but those moments when I wanted to bend him over his desk or shove him to his knees in the elevator became less intense. And I mostly convinced myself that the stab I felt when he mentioned whoever he was seeing was indigestion. Mostly.
I found ways to show him more gentleness than I allowed myself with Tony or Kate. We liked our coffee the same way, and as amusing as it was to give him a hard time about the pranks regarding my coffee, I liked how similar we were in that and other ways. I still had to watch myself when DiNozzo gave him a hard time. I knew if I responded it would be too extreme: too telling. So Tim was on his own facing some pretty bad hazing.
McGee
Things cooled with Abby and me once I was on Gibbs' team officially. We were both seeing other people but still hanging out with the occasional night together, but when she threatened to kill me at work, I was done. It was one of those things you just say and don't mean... I think.
I finally started getting used to seeing Gibbs and burying any longing I felt. The hours we worked made it tough to have any kind of life outside of the agency, but I managed to channel my energies into my writing pretty well. If the main character was a blue-eyed silver fox, well... At least I was writing. And after the case with the private investigator, a man I had looked up to, who was found to be crooked; well, Gibbs seemed even better for inspiration.
But my life had become a roller coaster, and during the very next case, Abby had the interesting evidence so I was excited to get to work with her on it. I think maybe Gibbs misinterpreted my enthusiasm, because when he took me with to translate the geek-speak during the investigation, he overtly started flirting with the office manager, a pretty woman with strawberry blonde hair. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but I was miserably jealous after that. Just when I thought I was getting better...
Gibbs
When we got the call of a questionable witness saying she'd seen a sailor being strangled, I decided it was time to let him fledge. I sent him off, fully expecting this to be useless, but he said roll. Turned out his instincts were better than I'd have given him credit for, although watching him with the pretty little witness, an MIT graduate, was gut twisting. It reminded me of my reaction when he'd run into a Petty Officer he knew at a crime scene in Norfolk. Hopefully this one wouldn't end up being our suspect.
McGee
Gibbs sent me out on my own. I bet he didn't expect me to meet the most amazing woman! She was smart, and alluring, and I struggled to differentiate between my attraction, which bordered on awe, and my investigative instincts. I made the decision to bring the team in, and I was terrified. When we discovered that a UA sailor was the same man who was missing, I was so relieved. I made the mistake of expressing my relief, only to have my head bitten off by Gibbs. I'd forgotten the seriousness of the situation; it was possible a sailor was dead.
We worked the case, but I totally screwed up and the beautiful young woman who was the instigator of the entire investigation, the woman I was supposed to be protecting while we waited for our suspect to return, was killed. I listened to her struggle as I ran, too slow, to help her, and when I got to her apartment, my vision was filled with her, lying still on the floor, and I ran to her without thinking. I didn't follow my training and clear the room before I went to her, and I was knocked out by an unknown assailant, probably the person who had killed her. God, I fucked up!
Kate tried to comfort me afterward, and we did catch the bastard who'd cut both victim's lives short, but it all felt so useless…
I was empty and aching when I went home. I'd written a condolence letter to her parents, but it did nothing to assuage my guilt. I considered drinking myself into a stupor, but my logical mind told me that imbibing a depressant when I was depressed wasn't a good idea. Fucking logic.
Gibbs
It wasn't like I'd never comforted Tony, before, or been comforted by Mike when I was his Probie. It was normal for a team leader to take care of his people. I picked up a bottle of the smoothest bourbon I could find and headed over to Tim's – McGee's – apartment, talking to myself the whole way. When Tony had gotten poison ivy, I'd taken him a remedy for it, and we'd watched a football game together. Mike and I had drunk ourselves stupid more than once. A bad case was worthy of a little extra attention to the affected agent. I was not going there to get all twisted up in mind-blowing sex. I was going to help him through a tough time.
We'd drink. He'd pass out. I'd go home.
That was the plan.
McGee
"Boss?" I stared. He'd never been to my apartment in Washington. I didn't know he even knew where it was. But he stood there, holding a paper bag with a bottle in it. Must've been a full minute of us just standing there looking at each other, then he raised an eyebrow and I shook myself. "Oh, jeez, uh, c-c'mon in," I stuttered. His lips didn't smile, but I was pretty sure his eyes did as he passed me. He went straight into the kitchen and got glasses out, seeming to know exactly where I kept them. He poured us drinks and handed me one, then sipped his own. I sniffed. It smelled like a medicine cabinet to me, but somehow a bit like warm leather, too.
I started to set it down untasted, but those blue eyes made me freeze, then my hand rose and I took a drink without ever making the decision to do it. Ugh, strong!
"Boss...what are you doing...here?" I asked slowly. My brain wasn't letting me think well, but my heart was starting up a running cadence that was echoed somewhere lower in my body.
"You're upset and blaming yourself," he said. His drink was almost gone, and he finished it, then poured himself another. He pointedly looked at mine, and I sipped again without thinking. It was like the fire from the alcohol burned away the polite filters and words started spewing from me.
"Why am I on your team, Gibbs? You aren't teaching me; neither is DiNozzo. I'm taking a lot of shit, getting coffee, so why am I even here? I thought… I thought maybe you wanted me… You said… you said I belong to you. What does that even mean? Why did you even have me on this? Because of me that girl is dead! A brilliant scientific mind is gone, because you trusted me!"
"You didn't strangle her, McGee. Yes, you screwed up, you didn't clear the room. But you are not the reason she's dead. And you are learning. You'll keep learning. You'll learn by watching, you'll learn because you're so damn smart you can't help it. You'll make a great Agent, a real investigator, if you get your head out of your ass, Tim."
God, it was more words than he'd said to me in all the time I'd been on his team. Maybe… Maybe he was right. Maybe I could do this. But with him standing there staring at me, every memory of sleeping with him roared up inside me and my whole body shook with it. I tossed the drink back and set my glass on the counter, stepping toward him on legs that felt like overcooked pasta.
"So what is this? I want… I want it. I want you. I just…"
Gibbs
No. This wasn't why I'd come here. He needed to be set straight, he needed to learn to let go of the case when it was over. I hadn't planned… Or had I? Damn. His face was flushed, and he came closer, until I could taste the bourbon on his breath, slightly vanilla, almost tobacco notes, so familiar and yet now completely arousing. I had fed him liquid courage, what had I expected was going to happen?
His big eyes looked China blue in the dim light of the kitchen, his lips pink and way too inviting. Visibly quaking, his hands came up and his fingertips rested on my cheeks. They felt like that first cup of coffee in the morning, invigorating and yet comforting, and I couldn't bear to pull away when he set his lips against mine. I didn't hear the glass drop from my numb fingers; it just seemed to vanish so my hands were free to pull him tight against me, kissing him like he was the only air left in the room.
Oh god, this was a bad idea. As much as I wanted to stop, there was no way. His lips...the way he tasted... Oh, I'd dreamed of him...fantasized about the feel of his body pressed against mine. His skin was so soft under my hands.
"Tim, ah, Tim, baby," I said, kissing down his neck. He was shaking bad, and I pulled him tighter against me.
"Gibbs... I..." He moaned.
"Jethro," I corrected. He made a small sound in his throat and I backed off to look at him.
"Yes, oh, yes," he breathed, staring into my eyes with such a powerful longing that my own feelings that I'd been shoving down all these months surged up and I smashed our mouths together violently. I sucked the air out of him and his knees gave way. I caught him as he dropped and we went to the floor together.
McGee
It was everything I remembered; his strength and power...the smell of him, the feel of his dry lips, god! His hands! The weight of his body on top of me was enough to make he feel faint, and we were breathing into each other, which surely didn't help, but it was more intimate than anything we'd done in all these months and I didn't want to stop, even if I passed out.
But something crunched under us and I sat up abruptly. "Shit! Get up," I ordered. Some part of my mind must have noticed when he dropped his glass, because I knew we were sprawled in a dangerous mess. We both got to our feet and I saw the knee of his pants was wet and sparkling with shards. I reached for his belt.
Gibbs
I was in a fog, refusing to let my practical mind stop what was happening between us, and it barely registered that I felt pain in my leg. Somehow I actually let him take control, which was ridiculously against my nature, but I knew if I started thinking about what was happening, I'd have to leave, and that idea was unbearable.
Before I knew what had happened, we were both naked, our clothes and shoes left behind out in the kitchen, and we were in another room and there was a bed and that was all that mattered. I shoved him down onto it and took command. I licked and sucked every inch of his skin I could reach, and his hands gripped me like he was drowning. Kissing, touching; hands, fingers, ass, legs... There was no plan, nothing calculated, just him; his body, and mine, and months of need and frustration incinerating in the pure beauty of being with him again.
I don't remember how I found the lube, but I rolled him over onto a pillow and his moans drew me into the connection with him that felt as essential as breathing.
McGee
"Ooowww!" I howled. Not a finger like I'd expected, but his cock, feeling like a baseball bat. He pulled out immediately, the mindlessness he'd proceeded with broken.
"Shit! Tim, you okay? I thought..."
"Damnit, Jethro, no one's had my ass since you. I couldn't bear... I haven't dated any men," I confessed miserably. I turned around and my eyes flickered to his, then down and away. He put his hand on my face and made me look at him. Instead of censure, I found a wistful compassion, and my heart felt warmed.
"Only using one barrel of the shotgun?" He asked softly. His brain seemed to be working again, and I tried to smile, hoping I hadn't just given him a reason to leave without finishing what we'd started.
"I can't even consider it. This kind of sex... It's just you. Always has been."
His eyes widened. "I was your first?"
"And only, bottoming."
I had never seen that look on his face before.
Gibbs
Something screamed up from inside me. It was exultant and primal and it encompassed one word, MINE. My whole body started shaking, and I kissed him with passion unleashed from every urge I'd ever had to touch and possess him. He was mine. No one else's. I was the only person who'd ever been inside him, the only one he wanted. I couldn't bear the incredible passion that created, the fierce tenderness. I kissed him like I'd never get another chance.
I carefully laid him down and started over. No rushing this time, just minute examination of each part of his body and how he reacted to me touching it with my fingers or lips or tongue. In moments he was panting and begging, but I wasn't about to rush this. He was mine, and I'd do everything I wanted to do to him.
His silky soft skin was perfection. His nipples were in every way ideal as they hardened under my ministrations. The taste of his precome was ambrosia; the heat inside him on my gentle fingers was nirvana. His voice calling out to me was all the host of heaven singing. Nothing: no other experience in my life had felt this good and right.
McGee
This time when he pushed into me, the ache was good and right, and it only lasted a minute before everything felt exactly as sex should: a union of bodies and minds and hearts. I arched my back and writhed, needing every inch of him.
"Please... Jethro, oh! Need you. Please!"
And he answered without words and slowly sank in, balls deep, my ass so full, our bodies joined so completely, I choked on sobs of pleasure, suppressing them and instead crying out wordlessly.
This was making love. I felt him honoring me in a way I'd never known, and I didn't want it to ever, ever end. His strong hand stroked me as he filled me up and I screamed mindlessly when I came, then he just kept going...
Gibbs
I don't know how long we spent coupled together in ecstasy, but by the time I finally climaxed, I'd brought him to two more orgasms and we were like one being as we curled up on our sides, my softening member still inside him, his body pressed back against me, both of us drenched in sweat and semen.
McGee
Being with him like that was something beyond normal life. It wasn't able to be encompassed in words. It was outside of our existence as co-workers or friends, and it healed the gaping hole I felt from all our time together in those mundane interactions, and from the hurt and pain of the death of the young woman I'd tried to protect.
I could face anything, now. I'd been renewed, or maybe reborn, and I hoped he felt the same. I had honestly been ready to quit; to ask for a transfer to a computer job where I wouldn't have to see him every day, and want him, and know I could never have him. But this night had shown me that I was stronger than I knew, and he needed me as much as I needed him. This might never happen again, or it might happen whenever we needed each other, but either way, I'd found peace. I fell asleep utterly content.
Gibbs
We should have cleaned up after all that. When I woke, my skin felt tight, and our bodies were practically cemented together. I groaned when I rolled away from him and stretched, which woke him. His groan echoed mine as he moved. He looked over at me and raised one eyebrow.
"Shower?"
I nodded and we went into his narrow little bathroom. His shower curtain was monkeys, and I chuckled. He was still such a mixture of man and boy; he fit better that he thought with me and Tony.
He climbed in and I took a piss and then joined him. He moved over so I could stand under the spray, and we traded back and forth to get clean like we'd done it a thousand times. When we were through, he reached for the handles and I stopped him. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him, feeling him sigh in what I hoped was contentment.
"You doin' okay?" I asked, my lips against his ear. He nodded and squeezed me closer. I knew I needed to confess. "Babe, I didn't use a condom last night. I'm clean, I swear, but I want you to know."
He turned his head from resting his cheek on my shoulder to his chin. "You'd never endanger me. I trust you, Jethro," he replied quietly. The answer gave me an unexpected lump in my throat, but I just nodded and stroked up and down his back. After another moment, he kissed my cheek and drew away, shutting off the water and climbing out. He passed me a towel and I nodded my thanks.
McGee
We were so subdued as I gave him a pair of sweats with a drawstring waist and my slippers while I put sneakers on so we could clean up the glass in the kitchen.
Again he seemed to have an innate knowledge of where I kept things in my kitchen as he pulled a plastic bag out and stuffed his pants and socks into it, setting it by the door. I put my clothes into the laundry and we quickly swept the glass up. He got a damp paper towel and did a final wipe down to catch any remaining fragments, then we washed our hands. He put his shoes on and neatly tucked my slippers back in my closet.
"Breakfast?" I asked. His eyes met mine and I nodded understanding. We stood there having a silent conversation flow between us. He asked if I was okay; feeling better, and I gave a slight nod. I tilted my head and checked in with him, and his mouth quirked. Of course he was fine. I breathed deep and let my gratitude suffuse the space between us. I watched him swallow hard, then he roughly pulled me into his arms. I could tell that he was actually struggling with wanting to stay, and it meant everything to me. I ran my hand up and touched his hair and neck and I felt him relax.
When he finally moved to the door, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and caressed my cheek with his thumb, giving me a final, long look before he turned and headed out.
I watched him go with a smile.
~~~NCIS~~~
A/N Firstly, thank you everyone who has taken the time to review, favorite, follow, and read this McGibbs 'verse. There has been a wonderful response to this experimental style with the alternating first person perspective, but there are too many contradicting suggestions about the length and content of each section for me to appease everyone, so I've just continued to write this however feels right to me. I hope you like it, because I plan to write many more stories in this 'verse!