Author Notes: This is my first "published" fanfic. I don't remember as much about Voltron as I would like. I hope I am doing justice to the characters and the show.
No flames, please. But, I will accept constructive criticism in order to develop better as a writer.
Disclaimer: I don't own Voltron. I just grew up watching it and wishing for something to happen with some characters that never did.
Summary: Princess Allura takes a midnight stroll and realizes many things along the way.
Midnight Interlude
Princess Allura, leader of Arus and the last aristocrat of a near-dead monarchy wandered the deserted halls of her beloved castle. She remembered as a child the stone walls and organic materials that were used to build the original castle. Then, shortly after Voltron returned to defend Arus by the hands of the space explorers, the remnants of the old castle were crumbled when the secret titanium one beneath the earth rose forth. The secret castle was her father's way of avenging what Zarkon and his Drule forces had done to his planet. Allura still caught herself months later looking for familiar cracks in the stone that were no longer existent.
Faded light clung to the intersections, dispersing just enough illumination through the hallways to keep the castle from being pitch-black. Allura's sapphire eyes glanced at the plain walls. She could remember a time when the halls were filled with portraits and paintings of her ancestors and the depictions of early battles. The bare walls on this newer castle reminded her that the evil forces were still out there planning and conspiring to impose a surrender of her people and that each battle was just another piece in the damn war. Filling the hallway walls with pictures and portraits at this point would just be frivolous and trivial. The important things now were that the castle was still standing strong and her people were, for the time being, free.
One of Allura's hands dropped to her pale pink gown, her fingers passing over the material. She felt awkward in the gown at times, like it was unnecessary. She knew her people would be just as pleased with her presence if she wore a burlap sack. They knew she was defending their planet and helping to restore their freedoms. It was Nanny and Coran who wanted their princess to be in proper attire whenever possible. They held onto the notion that if she looked like a princess, she would continue to be a princess.
The long skirts swept gently along the floor, her shoes stepping lightly so as not to wake any of the servants. The last thing she wanted or needed right now was Nanny racing to her side, forcing her back to bed. Allura brought her hand from her dress, to resume clutching the handkerchief in her other hand. She remembered her mother using the small cloth to the wipe away tears she cried when she was very young, usually after some tomboy stunt she pulled that resulted in a scrapped knee.
Those incidents of her childhood were from a lifetime ago, if not more. Sometimes Allura felt tired and exhausted thinking about the war and how long it had been going on. The war started years ago, but it was only about eight months since they discovered the Lions. The Lions were holding up well, but the stress of the battles was starting to wear on them. Hunk and Pidge, for the most part, had found themselves learning mechanics to vehicles and technology unbeknownst to any of them. Allura accepted that her days of living simply and lavishly were well over, despite how well Coran and Nanny tried to keep to them.
The princess looked to her hands and the small scrap of material within them. She saw tiny scars over her hands and felt the roughness of calluses on what used to be her smooth skin. Battle damage, she mused silently. She had become a battle-damaged princess.
She nearly laughed at the thought. What was she expected to do? Certainly, she could not sit in the confines of a war room, hidden away in secret while others fought and died for her. No, she was not the scared little girl that Nanny and Coran still wanted her to be. She had her fears just like anyone. She feared the harm and death of her people. She feared losing the friends she held dear. She feared being taken from her people where she could not help them. But, she would never fear stepping forth to defend the people she swore to protect and lead.
Allura now returned the handkerchief to its hidden place in her gown. Then she smirked at the miniscule, disfigured marks on her hands. Nanny had chastised her for weeks after seeing the first cut. The servant's gruff voice was full of horrific ideas about how she would never win the love of a prince. She complained that no man would want to hold hands that were rough and worn. She begged Allura to maintain her beauty, her pristine appeal or a rightful husband would never be found. Not long after many of the cuts healed, the row of calluses developed in Allura's palms, and Nanny nearly broke into tears for her.
The princess rubbed her fingertips over the rough skin, the visible indication of how strongly she fought for her planet. She reminisced how her hands had tightly clutched the controls of her Blue Lion more than once to prevent her own crash or the crash of one of her fellow Lions. Even in the simple rush and chaos of battle, her hands had instinctively grasped the controls, her adrenaline charging through her body.
Closing her eyes and taking a calming breath, Allura tried not to think of the battles right now. It was not the reason she chose to take the nightly walks. The walks started as a means of serenity and quiet calm she could experience only in the silence of night. They became more of a habit in the last couple weeks, however. Her dreams and nightmares had started to blend into a continuous weave during the night. Everything became a jumbled mess, and she could never understand any of it. One moment of her dreams she was flying her Lion, free from the surrogate parents who wanted to ground her. The next, she was running through the halls of her castle fleeing a maniac Lotor. She accepted those dreams and nightmares for the most part. They were reasonable. She loved her Lion. She hated Lotor.
The dream that caused her upheaval was whenever Keith was involved. She had dreams where they were in the Lions, flying beside each other. They were a pair, defending the skies of Arus together. They ran free, flying high, and escaping the entanglements brought on from Coran and Nanny on the planet below. The next moment, she saw Keith crashed, parts of his Lion scattered around him. Allura would run to him, finding his battered body, the helmet rolled aside. She knelt next to him, crying as his life slipped through her tiny, damaged hands. She begged him to stay, to fight, to live…and she always awoke before she could tell him to love.
Allura pushed the dreams aside. She firmed up her resolve and started down the hallways again. She was aware of her shaking hands now. She wasn't sure if she was angry for having a dream so dark and evil for a man she considered a friend, a protector. Or, she wasn't sure if she was terrified because she might actually feel that way about him and just had not been able to bring herself to admit it.
She lowered her eyes knowing that she had affections for all of the members of the Voltron Force. Hunk was the good man with a hearty appetite for not only food, but also the well being of others. Pidge was her younger, dexterous brother, the sibling she would never have. Lance was real in his insight, but twisted in it as well. He hid his experiences through his joking exterior. It was how he concealed what he never spoke about. Allura sensed that he experienced a dark past, and it was his past that brought forth the good man she knew today.
Then, there was Keith. He had a quality about him that she rarely saw in average people. He was protective, but not overbearing. He was a leader, but not a dictator. There was real concern in him for his friends and a spark more for herself that Allura was sure she imagined. Keith even had concern for the well being of Nanny and Coran, despite their negative reactions to him for allowing Allura to fly the Blue Lion.
He guided the team in countless missions and battles, taking the path that wasn't always easy but would bring about the victory for the moment. Even Keith knew the war would be long and dreary. Allura sometimes wondered how he kept himself together. As a leader of a planet, she had to stop occasionally and allow herself a breakdown. On those rare days, she would lock herself in a part of the castle where no one would find her. She would collapse to her knees and just let the tears and pain for everyone she cared about consume her. Sometimes she would cry for unknown hours. Sometimes she would find pieces of debris and just throw them until her arms were sore and her screams of hatred for Zarkon and his forces brought her voice to a numbing hoarseness.
Again, Allura found herself smirking silently. Poor Nanny and Coran. They always thought she was so innocent, so fragile. They have yet to see her as an adult. Their eyes still perceive her as the child she was when her parents died. She was stronger than they ever gave her credit for. She lived through the deaths of her parents, the raids on her planet, and now she was a strong pilot in an armored Lion. Perhaps, that was why she started to find something common in Keith. He saw her strength, and although he was protective of her, he was never patronizing about it. The other Voltron members tried to talk her out of the plans, the schemes, the moment of action. Keith just nodded his head silently to her, and one look to the others settled the concerns.
Not too far down in the distance of the hallway a chime sounded, breaking her thoughts again. Allura looked up. She was nearing the ballroom, where the clock was striking the very late hour. The thought of sleep still wasn't settling in her mind, and she decided to continue to the ballroom.
With the exception of a few lights in the far corners of the room, darkness filled it well. The princess moved about the marble floor, passing her hand over the fireplace mantel as she walked. In the darkness, she could hear the orchestra that used to play and see the couples dancing along the floor. She remembered running among the guests, seeing her parents trying not to laugh at the sight. Nanny usually got a hold of her and threatened the child, but Allura's mother often chided the servant. She said that there is no harm in having Allura present at the affairs, despite her rattling behavior. There were other children present as well, and it would be good for her to socialize, even if some small excitement follows.
Allura turned back to the fireplace. She ran her fingers along the side of it where there was etched stone. It was cool to the touch, the stone smooth under her fingers. Pushing gently on one of the less elaborately designed bricks, she opened a small compartment above the mantle. She pulled out the box that was hidden behind it. Bringing the box to her in the dim light, she opened the lid and touched the small portraits of her mother and father. There were also letters in the box, a violet ring, and an engraved sash pin.
Allura had read the letters hundreds of times. One of the letters was her mother's life story, written in her own handwriting so that Allura would always have a remembrance of who she was. The other letter was her father's, written in his writing, a story of who he was also. The ring was the engagement ring given to her mother from her father. The sash pin had the family crest engraved in it, and it was the pin he wore for all formal ceremonies.
"Rough night for you, too?"
The princess started at the sound of his voice. Although spoken softly, it sounded like a shout to her. She suddenly closed the box and spun with a gasp.
"I didn't mean to scare you," Keith said whispering.
Taking a moment to compose herself, Allura looked to him. She saw that he had not bothered with sleepwear anymore than she did. He wore his casual red attire, as though he never even tried to go to bed. She wondered briefly if the two of them had been wandering opposite sides of the castle for half the night.
"I wasn't expecting anyone else at this hour," she replied quietly.
"I know."
Allura clutched the secret box tightly unable to look away from Keith. In the dim light, there was no mistaking his long, dark hair or his deep brown eyes. He looked at her and she saw something between a commanding officer herding his squad and a friend who knew something was out of place.
"This isn't the first night you couldn't sleep well," he said calmly.
She looked away suddenly, fearing that one of the others told him. "Who all knows?"
"No one."
Allura turned back to Keith, her words gentle. "Sometimes I just want to know I can wander free without someone telling me what to do or why it's dangerous to do what I want to do."
He relaxed somewhat. The commanding officer in his eyes lessened a bit. The friend stayed, however. "They are concerned for you."
"That is the problem," she insisted. "I'm not a child, and I'm not some piece of glass."
"But, you are human." Keith unexpectedly found the words odd this time. He knew she was human, but somehow as soon as he said it, he saw her differently. He was suddenly aware that her long, amber curls fell free tonight with no braids or the ornamental headpiece. Her sapphire blue eyes looked to him with both defiance and softness. She was expecting to have to fight with him, but she also trusted him. He kept his distance, not wanting to think about the thoughts that had been brewing over the last couple weeks. He reminded himself that even though she was the princess, he was also the commanding officer. More importantly, she was as strong a member of the team as any of them. He respected her for going up into the sky time and again to defend her people and her planet.
"I am no more human than you, Keith. That argument will be useless."
The commander knew he had to try something different. "I won't say you're a girl and that's why everyone is protective, because the gods know you do just as well as the rest of us. But, what I will say is that you are the last figure of royalty on this planet, and the people won't know where to go for leadership without you."
Allura sighed heavily. "Sometimes I think that maybe it is time for another family to become the leaders of Arus. Not because I can't handle it, but because it will allow me the freedom to finally defend this planet as I see fit, not as what is best for me. You and I both know that what's best is for the people, even if I'm risking life and limb for them."
Her strength and her wisdom hit him, as she was a leader far beyond her years. She was no child. Damn Nanny for always treating her as such. Princess Allura would willingly give up her power and her heritage if it would allow her to help her people. A child would keep her power, just to have something to hold on to. Keith was starting to see beyond a comrade and a monarch. He was starting to get an idea as to who she really was.
"But, you are exactly the leader Arus needs," he countered. He couldn't stop himself and pointed to the closed box in her hands. "Your parents knew that."
Allura felt her mouth drop and turned away in anger. She never showed anyone the contents of the box. She never showed anyone the secret location.
Keith kept going, realizing his mistake as soon as he said it. "I'm sorry. I used to hide a box back on Earth with my parents' belongings. If I was wrong…"
She closed her eyes. He rarely talked about his parents. He was opening up to her, and she was not against the idea of it. "No, you're right." Slowly, she looked back to him. "Tell me about them. Please."
Keith felt a weight on his chest. He never talked about his mom and dad. It was an unwritten rule among the others in the group to not mention it. Allura did not know that rule, and there were things about her he was sure he knew that no one else did. Above all, he actually wanted to tell her. "They were average citizens who led normal lives. My father was strong in defense techniques and started the foundation for what I know. My mother was kind and gentle. I lost them when I was only about twelve years old."
Allura opened the box in her hands and moved closer to Keith. "These are my parents. The letters are about their childhood, their growing up, how they met. The ring and pin are small mementoes they left for me."
Keith looked inside the box, seeing the pictures of the previous king and queen of Arus. He saw both of them reflected in the woman that stood before him today. Her heart was being laid in front of him, and he had the option to openly accept it.
"You can read the letters if you like," she offered.
He shook his head. "No, they are yours. Hold them sacred. Keep them for yourself. Be selfish with that part of you."
Allura looked into the box one last time, her parents' faces smiling happily at her. Then, she put the lid back on and put the box back into the secret compartment, hiding it again.
"Why do you keep it in the ballroom?" Keith asked, studying the curls that fell down the length of her back as she was turned from him. His eyes caught how her amber locks spilled around her waist and the petite frame of her back.
"My room was tainted by Lotor's presence," she explained turning back around. "He would not think to find parts of my heart in the open areas of the castle."
Sudden anger filled the commander for a moment. He remembered that day all too well. Coran and Nanny in their foolishness had condemned Princess Allura to her room rather than letting her have command of her Blue Lion. Lotor had taken the opportunity to attack the castle personally, targeting Allura's room. He nearly ran off with her, a sinister look of lust in the dark prince's eyes. Keith realized then that she meant more to them all than just a pilot of a Lion or a leader of a planet. She was their friend. And, Keith felt the need to silently protect her.
"I wish sometimes we could get Coran and Nanny to understand," he said unthinkingly.
She shook her head, stepping out of the ballroom. "Until I am married to some prince, they will forever stand in the way."
"That's not what you want, is it?" he asked following closely. Gods above, this was the first time he actually stopped to talk, truly talk, with her. There were no interruptions, no jokes, and no pushy wannabe parents. He could see it was exactly what she needed: a conversation on her level, two adults talking with no outside interference.
Allura kept walking but drew her eyes on Keith every few steps. "I don't believe in marriage to someone just to have it. I've always believed in love, even if I am a princess. I'd rather die old and alone than be married to someone whom I could never love."
"But, what about an heir to the throne?"
"What would it matter if there is no throne to have an heir for?" she countered. "Coran and Nanny want a monarchy that no longer exists. It died out years ago when the first of Zarkon's warships destroyed Arus."
Keith looked to her feeling that odd string of emotions again. So much she said made sense, and she was stuck behind two domineering fossils from a time long past. Allura had a full and complete understanding for the future of her planet. Of course, a monarchy would be a beautiful thing to restore. But the cost of losing it time and again to Zarkon just wasn't worth it, and Allura knew that.
"I've become a battle-damaged princess," she said quietly, looking at her hands again. This time, when she thought about the chiding she received from Nanny, it hurt.
Keith stopped and put a hand on her arm to stop her. "Is that what Nanny said?"
"No, it's what I said. I thought it would help me feel better about risking myself." She brought her eyes up to his brown irises. "Nanny said I was no longer worthy of finding a husband. She said that no man would want my damaged hands on him. She said that the scars are repulsing and an insult to the throne of Arus."
Unable to stop himself, Keith took her hands into his. He looked at them in the dim light, tracing some of the scars with a fingertip. He turned them over and ran his own callused hands over hers. He found the warmth of her skin distracting. Her fragile fingers felt tiny compared his military-trained hands. He fought against the thoughts that started to filter in his mind. He pushed the pleasantries of feeling her hands in his to the back of his brain. Again, he tried to think like a battle-ready commander. Allura had battle experience. That gave her life experience. She wasn't just sitting on her thrown looking down at them all. She was among them, a part of them. He was grateful she was there in the thick of battle, the risk of the team. He felt her fingers tremble beneath his hands suddenly, and he realized then his own fingers were shaking.
"Nanny is a fool," he whispered, with more emotion that he wanted to show. "Your hands are strong, full of character and defiance. Only a real leader would get her hands dirty and harmed helping her people."
Allura lost her ability to breathe for a moment. No one ever held her hands so gently. Keith actually took the time to study them. She saw he was looking at her scars, not just brushing them aside as disfigurements. He touched her calluses, not from curiosity but accepted every one of them as part of who she was. He started to pull his hands from hers, and she wanted to tell him not to stop holding them, but the words would not move past her lips. Instead, her fingers laced into his.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
Keith looked upon her in the dim hallway. She had no idea how much he wanted to give in to the torture he felt of seeing her and keeping behind an invisible wall. He wished there was no wall, but he could not allow himself to cross that line. Taking a silent breath, he slowly began to unravel his fingers from hers. Again, he forced his mind back to just talking. He had no idea the pain Allura had been dealing with from Nanny. He only remembered the time the servant took Allura over her knee. He thought it was a joke at first, but Nanny was firm on punishing the princess for a reason that was now insulting and ridiculous. Allura never spoke of the conversations and insults the domineering Nanny repeatedly had with her. She never spoke of the anger she felt for Zarkon and her hatred for Lotor. Yet, he could see so very clearly every one of those things in her sapphire eyes. Keith saw her compassion for every one of the team and something stronger for himself. And, he thought of that invisible wall again.
"Does it help?" he asked.
Allura looked to him confused. Of course, his hands holding hers helped. He didn't make her feel like the monster that Nanny did. Then, she was even more confused. Keith wasn't holding her hands any more. "I don't understand."
"Your secret place where you let your guards down," he answered. "Does it help?"
Again, Allura took a step back from him. Why was it every time he did something sweet he brought up a secret she didn't want revealed? Was she that obvious? If he knew, did everyone else know?
"I saw you one day," he explained. "I was going to the cavern under the castle to blow off some steam, but then I heard you. I thought about trying to calm you, but when I realized that you were constructively lashing out, I knew you needed the space."
The princess watched this commanding officer. He actually took the time to see her from a distance and give her the space she needed. He didn't crowd her with concern or directives. He never told anyone else what he knew about her. It was why he stayed up late tonight to find her roaming the halls, as he knew she would. He understood her on a level past courtly pleasantries. He took time to see her as a person.
Allura's eyes looked deep to Keith's dark irises. She found comfort in them, safety, and trust like nothing she had ever known. "The cavern is my place of solitude, where I can fall apart or let my rage run free. If Nanny or Coran know I have the emotions unfit of a princess, they would pull me from the Voltron team."
Keith could not stop himself now. Her sapphire eyes had enveloped him in some strange and sacred trust. His hand brushed her cheek, his rough palm holding her soft and warm face. His fingers disappeared under her long curls, twisted in the soft, amber tresses. "They cannot stop you from feeling the emotions of being alive. Sometimes it's all you have."
Allura was lost in his eyes. He had once in his past experienced exactly the advice he just gave her. There was a time for him that all he owned was his emotions. She took a deep breath, grateful that he was opening himself to her again. "How do you keep it together, Keith?"
"The same as you do," he answered. "Solitude and friends."
Her eyes closed for a split moment, relishing the touch of his hand on her. She never imagined this confusion, sweet and intense. She knew that she was not supposed to want this emotion from anyone but a prince. It was the branding she had to endure as a princess. She opened her eyes looking to him again. His dark irises were deep, full, and close to hers.
Suddenly realizing just how close he was to her, Keith took a slow breath. His eyes were drinking hers. Her warm breath caressed over his lips. He couldn't stop the intensity of the pull he had towards her. For eight months, he relied on that invisible wall. He could not imagine why it was so weak tonight. If he moved closer he would break that wall, and there would be no way to repair it. He had only heard of pilots and princesses in stories, useless fables to ease the fears of children at bedtime. Had their conversations all night led them to this moment? Had eight months of distance forced them to be pushed together? She admitted as much that she didn't want a prince. She didn't believe in loveless marriages. But, if he stepped across the invisible boundary between them, would it bring about more danger? Lotor lusted for her, and the evil prince wasn't fond of Keith and the team interfering. If Lotor ever discovered there was something deeper between Allura and someone, how much more unforgiving would he be?
"Don't allow this, Allura," Keith pleaded. "Please tell me to stop."
Her sapphire eyes comprehended the dangers he feared. Her heart thudded loudly. Her very being fought against leaning toward him for the sake of their safety. It was not just Lotor who they feared. If Coran or Nanny ever knew there was a connection, a passionate desire between them, the elders would interfere to the point of insanity. Yet, she hesitated to walk away because this was real. She had never witnessed the genuine compassion that Keith had for her. He was not just overly concerned with her safety because it was right. He was concerned because he cared.
Her lips trembled out her response, realizing for the first time he merely said her name and used no title. "Don't stop."
Gods above, he was going to kill them both. He leaned to her, his lips touching upon hers. She tilted into him. Warmth flushed them; trust engulfed them. The barrier shattered, invisible shards falling to the floor in silence.
Allura's hands rested on his shirt and Keith's free hand found her waist. He pulled her tighter, his lips gently crushing to hers. She did not resist. Her fingers clasped the material of his clothing, losing herself to the moment.
Time passed quickly, and Keith gradually eased back from her, trying to deliberately force time to slow, if only for an instant. Allura opened her eyes. She took a few breaths watching him inhale sharply. His fingers traced the outline of her face. "Coran and Nanny won't take to this," he said imagining the two guardians imprisoning Allura and himself until they came to their senses.
"I don't care," she answered softly. "Sometimes our emotions are all we have."
Keith saw the firm resolve in her eyes. She would not give him up without a fight. She was condemning anyone to get between them to a hell only she could devise. It only intensified his feelings for her. For eight months, he wanted to tell her. Now there was nothing stopping him. "I love you."
Before she could reply, he pulled her against him. He kissed her strongly, deeply, letting her know that losing her would kill him. Allura fell into him, accepting and returning. Only when she felt her lungs grow tight again, did Keith pull back.
"I love you," she answered in a breathless plea over his lips as they released hers.
"We must be careful," he said taking her hands in his. He knew they had started down a path that could lead to grave danger if the wrong friends or enemies ever found out.
Allura brought her eyes to his. "The cavern will be our safe haven."
He nodded, unable to let her hands slip free just yet. It could be weeks before he could touch her again. It might be a long time before he could enjoy looking at her with no need to hide the joy in his heart.
Allura sensed his hesitation for walking away. She could not yet bear to just wear her façade. She knew there was something more about this man from the moment she met him. It was an attraction she tried to fight because of the lashing she knew she would receive from Nanny and Coran. But, in fighting it, she found she was left at its mercy.
"Tomorrow, after dinner," she whispered.
Keith touched his lips gently over hers one last time. Then, his fingers fell from hers. He turned in the dim light and disappeared in the dark hallway.
Allura closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She would remember this night forever. She would never allow this memory to fade. Finally opening her eyes, any sign of a love struck girl was erased. Allura stood regally and took a slow pace back to her room. That night, she slept restful and deep for the first time in weeks. Her dreams of Keith were no longer of a love not realized but of a future that was possible.