After The Sunset
Author's note: Hello everybody! Jackie here to bring to you another fanfic because I very recently rediscovered my love for Dasey. My last fic (The Right Wrong Thing- check it out!) is fluff, in my opinion, so now I attempt to do a sad future fic. If it's OOC, well suck it. Time changes people, you know? (Still short.) ;D
Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek, but I do own this angsty fic. That's something, right? Of course it is. ;)
He was never good with timing. It was always in extremities, either to early or way too late. It was a bad trait, but he never did anything to stop it, now he was facing the consequences of it.
Fate wasn't his friend. Never in his life had it been.
He never made good decisions. Always liked the thrill of the wrong thing done. The adrenaline of getting away with things he knows is bad.
He liked the darkness. Shadows that concealed him, protected him. That's how he loved her, always from a distance, shadowing her every movement because he was too much of a coward to say it. To say the three words that would bind him to her, would make her see all his flaws, his fears. He liked the darkness because it made him less flawed to people. Darkness protected him from judgments
Are you the one for me?
She liked certainty. So the love for him scared her. He was unpredictable, not sure whether he'll stay or not. He could leave, that's what scared her the most. Actually, it wasn't just that. It was also because that somewhere deep within her heart, there was always a space that was his. She doesn't know how to control her feelings, or how to show it. He didn't either. The only difference was that he never bothered. Sure it took him a long time, three years to be exact, to admit it, but once he did, he never tried to stop it.
He loved her that completely.
I don't know.
She was genuinely hurt when he said that, even though she knows that he didn't mean it the way it sounded. Her brain was reasoning with her, but all she hears is, he's going to leave.
Did you ever love me?
It was the wrong thing to say at a wedding and he knew it. But he just couldn't help it. He had to know.
Please say you don't.
It was a small whisper. A plead. Release my heart, let me move on.
It's as if she could read his mind.
No.
It was the answer he wanted to hear, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt.
He sends her a letter. It was a selfish one, but a letter nonetheless.
To my dear Casey,
I know it's been a long time. You're probably so happy that you've forgotten what, or who, you left behind. Me, your step-brother, but also the guy who is completely in love with you.
Maybe it's just my selfishness, or my desire to make anyone as miserable as I am, but I just wanted you to know that I'm still here. Still not over you.
Does that stir up your feelings? Well, too bad.
I know you're coming here to visit Nora and George and the rest of the fam, except me of course because you've been avoiding me for years, but too bad Spacey, when you come here, I'll be waiting.
Good luck trying to avoid me now.
(I still love you.)
Derek