I hate you: the length of your flanks and the crooked snip of your teeth and I want to hit you. And I do, I strike you and I curse you. How dare you look up at me with the sea swelling in your eyes. You break my heart and the ache makes me take you in my arms and coddle you. If only I could whisper…
But the rage starts welling in my throat. I dig fingers into you. I hurt you and I hurl you away. And when you are on your hands and knees I pummel you with my boots and insults.
Get out. I can no longer stand the spectacle of you. I cannot tolerate the hitch of your breath that echoes in my ears. And you tear from the room, you tear away from me and I am abandoned - exhilarated and broken. I scream not to come crawling back to me. You repulse me.
You love this. You must or else you would not return again and again and I hate you for this dependence. Oh please come back to me, never ever leave me. I swear I will make it hurt, I promise.