Destiny . . . and a side of guacamole
Once upon a time there was this guy, a really short guy, who decided that the fate of the earth was like an earthworm in the rain. It absolutely did not matter. At all.
At.
All.
But then one day, this short guy who, did I mention, was hot, received some fan mail in his mailbox from yet another crazy ugly girl who was head over heels for him. So, naturally, he recycled the stupid letter and went back to watching C-span. But then, later that day, he once again was bombarded by mail from ugly girls. So he burned down the house, with his mother still inside, and ran away to Tokyo, blabbing something about destiny.
Unfortunately, he was hitchhiking along a long and dusty road, when a drunkard with a really ugly face and dark brown hair sabotaged him and tried to pull out his beautiful hair. So he screamed, and the drunkard doubled over in hangover pain, and the short hot guy, whose name is Kamui, ran away and slept in a cardboard box.
On the other side of town, a crazy surgeon, disguised as a buff high school student, tried to sell his sister on EBay, but to no avail. She was too ugly. Depressed, the psycho surgeon decided to take a long contemplative walk across the city.
When the semi-buff deformed high school student as a surgeon in disguise walked past his favorite junkyard, he noticed a small short hot boy, the hero of our story. So, being the surgeon that he was, he decided to abduct the sleeping hobo boy and take him home as a practice kit.
When the surgeon, whose alias name was Fuuma, returned home, his still ugly sister noticed the hot boy and, as all other ugly girls, screamed and tried to wrap her arms around him. But Fuuma forced a sleeping pill down his sister's ugly throat, and she collapsed onto the carpet, snoring.
Meanwhile, Fuuma carried the hobo boy over to a spare bed that happened to be uninhabited at the moment, and placed the boy in it. Then he ran downstairs into the hidden basement and sang a happy song about pickles and Finish pork. What he didn't know, was that Kotori, the ugly sister, had awoken, interestingly enough, and had crept into the hobo boy's new room. She gazed at the hot sleeping hobo runaway beautiful boy and sang a song to herself about being friends with the spiders.
Poor Kamui awoke to find himself face-to-face with an ugly delusional girl. He screamed, and the ugly girl skirted away from him like he was some kind of arachnid that didn't want to be friends. Fuuma literally flew up the stairs and into the bedroom to find his beautiful souvenir cowering in a corner while Kotori had one of her daily spaz attacks on the bed. What a wonderful first impression.
After quite a lot of pills and explanations, Kamui and Fuuma were best friends, and they promised that they would always shun Kotori, no matter what. But what Kamui didn't know was that Fuuma was secretly planning to destroy the earth and kill all the cool people so he and his ugly friends could exterminate mankind. Not that it had anything to do with him though. Or so he thought.
Already an evil plan, the type of plan that could only be hatched in the mind of an evil surgical genius, was beginning to form.