Hi all! I just revised this a lil', no need to read it
again if ya have ^_^
It's raining where I live. I love the rain but it makes me
want to write depressing angsty fics.... like this one. Also, the lyrics are
the ones I got from my CD jacket thingy, They aren't exactly the same as he
sings them and I might have made a few errors when I typed 'em up, sorry ^_^. I
recommend listening to this song during and/or after you read this, it's a good
song and it kinda sets the mood, it's your choice!
Nikki :-P
Name: When Mermaids Cry
Lyrics by: Eagle-Eye Cherry
Fic by: Nataku's Child or Nikki :-P
Pairings: 2x4, mentioned 2+5
Genre: Drama, Romance
Rating: PG (for the mention of suicide)
Warning:
Shounen-ai (as always), Suicide (yep, it's a deathfic), possible sniffle
alert, fantasy (mermaids),
Disclaimer:
I don't own the song "When Mermaids Cry" it's owned by Eagle-Eye Cherry
(very good singer, highly recommended) and probably some other people. I don't
own Gundam Wing, it's owned by lots more people that I don't remember the names
of. I love the band and the show and don't mean to disrespect them in any way.
//She was drowned in suicide
Faithless lover cast aside//
Duo placed a single white rose at a small gravestone.
Quatre Reberba Winner
AC 180 – 124
"The strongest in heart. We will miss you."
It was simple; they knew he would never want anything elaborate. Duo stared at the stone, guilt twisting his heart.
*It's just a stone, stone and grass. Not even a body.*
It was true, a body had never been found. The only evidence that the young man was gone was one witness.
//This is how she came to be
Lorelei of The Sea//
The cold, bitter wind plucked at Duo's trench coat. His hair whipping his face but he paid no attention. He stared at the empty ground, tears occasionally falling to the grass. The same scene replayed in his mind, haunting him, keeping him awake at night. Guilt, it was his fault Quatre was dead.
//Hopes destroyed, she wanted to find
Certain death peace of mind//
~Two months before~
Quatre stood at the edge of a cliff, looking down to the crashing waves.
"I loved you Duo, did you know that?" he whispered. "Did you think of that when you..." He wanted to cry, but he couldn't, the tears wouldn't come.
Seagulls were crying out above him, the sky was clear but the wind was cold. Quatre shivered and wrapped his arms around himself, more for comfort then warmth.
"Life is a precious thing," he whispered. "It feels almost odd to be in so much control of it. It's only one step..."
He stepped closer to the edge, his bare toes curling over the rock.
"Just one step..."
"Quatre!"
Quatre turned to see Duo running up. He stopped a few feet away, his eyes wide with fear.
"Quatre...What are you doing?" he asked, his voice shaking.
Quatre looked over his shoulder to the sea. He could hear it calling him, the crash of the waves luring him with promises of release.
"Did I disappoint you?" Quatre asked quietly, not turning his gaze from the water.
"Disappoint me?" Duo laughed nervously, but turned serious when he saw the look of longing in Quatre's eyes. "No, never. I love you. I made a mistake, Quatre. Please, just come home, we'll talk about it." He held out his hand.
Quatre turned and looked at the offered hand then up to Duo's face.
"A mistake?" he asked.
Duo nodded quickly. "Yes! I never should have left you, I never should have gone to Wufei, and I never should have doubted my love for you."
"You love me?" Quatre asked quietly.
"With all my soul," Duo answered.
Quatre placed his hand on his heart and closed his eyes. The wind blew his hair across his face but he didn't brush it away. Somewhere in the sky a seagull called again. Quatre opened his eyes, aquamarine orbs burning in to Duo's violet.
"I love you too, Duo," he said.
With one step, Quatre was off the cliff edge.
~End Flashback~
//Now you wonder who is she
Lorelei of The Sea//
Duo drove home from the graveyard. His home, the one he had shared with Quatre was near the sea. Quatre had always loved the ocean. Duo once joked that if they stayed there too long, he would grow fins. Duo pulled into the driveway, got out and walked into the empty house.
Hitting the answering machine button as he walked in, he took of his coat.
"Duo? It's Sally-"
Duo hit the erase button. He hadn't shown up for work for the last couple of days, she'd called everyday since then wondering where he was, if he was 'okay'. Everyone wanted to know if he was 'okay', how could he be okay? He'd watched his ex-lover commit suicide because he'd left him for another man.
"Hey Duo! It's Hilde, you wanna go out? Have some fun? I haven't see-"
Delete. Damn it! Why couldn't they just leave him alone?
"It's Wufei."
Duo hesitated.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened. If...If you need to talk, you can call me. I'm...I'm sorry...Duo..." The line stayed a moment until it was cut.
//Many tales I've been told of sailors having died
After seeing a mermaid known
As Lorelei//
Duo erased the last message and sighed. He'd have to do something sooner or later. Quatre had left him most of his money, it's not like he needed to work, but to be in this house, to sleep in the same bed...
Duo turned on the TV, mostly for background noise to fill up the eerie silence that filled the beach house. He wasn't really paying attention to what he was watching until the newscaster mentioned where he lived.
"...Reports of missing people, young men to be exact, have been popping up all over the southern coast. Fishermen and recreational sailors between the ages of twenty to twenty-five were reported missing..."
Duo turned off the TV and left, unable to stay in the house for too long.
//Faithless lover that is me
And she the siren of the sea//
Duo walked downtown, flashing dazzling fake smiles to passersby. It was a habit he could never get rid of, smile if it hurts, if you're unhappy it doesn't mean others should be as well. Quatre would always smile sadly when he saw the pained grins, he would hold Duo until he dropped the smile and tell him what was wrong.
*Why? Why did I ever leave him? He was too good for me...*
//So next time that the seagulls fly
Don't you cry sweet Lorelei//
Duo's smile fell and tears started to flow down his face. He ignored the odd looks he got and ran away. It didn't matter where he went, everywhere reminded him of Quatre.
// Seagulls fly
When mermaids cry
Those tears won't dry
For Lorelei//
Duo found himself on the same cliff Quatre had fallen from. He'd been there many times before Quatre's death. They would watch the sea together for hours, in an awe filled silence at the beauty of the ocean. It's where Duo had first told Quatre that he loved him, Quatre had jumped into his arms and kissed him, telling him over and over how much he loved him as well.
Duo sat on the edge, looking over the water as the gulls cried above him.
"I'm sorry Quatre," He called out to the waves. "I love you."
//The guilt is mine I was untrue//
~Three days before Quatre's death~
"I have to take this chance," Duo said, not looking at the pale man he was talking to. "I'd always dreamed of...I love you Quatre, I always will, but I love Wufei, and now that I know...I'm leaving Quatre, I'm sorry."
Duo looked at Quatre, he was watching him blankly, listening to his words without any note of emotion. He never cried, never begged him to stay, and never spoke through the whole speech.
Duo and Quatre had been living together for almost four years; they had even talked about a ceremony not very long before. Wufei had come back from a mission with the Preventers and had asked to talk to Duo. Along with countless apologies for 'being a coward' he finally spit out that he was in love with Duo.
"I understand," Quatre said.
~
//The question is what am I to do//
~The day before Quatre's death~
Duo had moved out the next day, and it took him one day to realize he'd made a mistake.
They were lying on Wufei's couch. Wufei looked down at Duo, brushing away a stray strand of hair from his face.
"You don't know how long I've been waiting for this," Wufei said.
"Took you long enough to tell me," Duo replied with a smile.
Wufei leaned down to nibbled at Duo's ear.
"Unn, that feels good-" He'd almost said Cat, Quatre's nickname.
Duo's mind flashed with visions of blond hair and blue-green eyes, sweet smiles and soft laughter. Nights spent in each other's arms, soft kisses and whispered encouragements.
Duo pulled back. Wufei looked concerned.
"What's wrong?" Wufei asked. "Did I hurt you?"
Duo shook his head, eyes downcast.
"What have I done?" he whispered.
~End Flashback~
//All I know is I got to try
Try to find sweet Lorelei//
"I wish I could tell you how sorry I am Cat," Duo whispered. "I wish I could hold you again, tell you that I love you. I do love you...So why did you do it? You all ways told me that life was important, not to be taken like the joke I always made it out to be. But you took your own...Is that really any better?"
Duo looked to the water's edge, dark waves crashing against the rocks.
//Make amends for what's been done
'Cause I believe that she's the one//
~The day of Quatre's death~
Duo knocked on the door of the beach house, he'd tried calling but no one picked up. He had this sickening felling...but he was never as good at that kind of stuff as Quatre was.
"Quatre? Are you in there?" Duo called through the door. "I need to talk to you. Please open the door?"
No answer.
*Maybe he's out,* Duo thought.
He walked to one of the potted plants that littered the porch, lifting it to find the key hidden underneath. He smiled as he picked it up.
It was quiet inside, no TV or music playing, the latter being more likely since Quatre didn't approve of watching a lot of TV. Duo looked around and called out but no one was home.
Duo frowned, the uneasy feeling was getting worse.
*He's probably going for a walk.*
//And I will go where seagulls fly
Try to find sweet Lorelei//
~That same day~
Duo walked down a familiar path, they'd walked it together all the time, it lead to their favorite spot, a cliff that overlooked the ocean.
Duo sighed in relief as Quatre's golden head peaked above a rise in the land, the rest of the man coming in to view shortly afterward. His stomach clenched when he noticed that he was at the edge, staring down. Quatre had always been mildly afraid of heights, never going too close to the edge and keeping Duo from going either. Duo ran the rest of the way.
"Quatre!" he yelled when he was close enough for Quatre to hear.
Duo shivered as Quatre turned; his face was blank, exactly like when he'd left.
"Quatre...What are you doing?" Duo asked, fearing the answer.
Quatre looked away, his eyes changed from the blank glaze to a look of a tired longing, as though he wished to go home but couldn't get there yet.
"Did I disappoint you?" he asked quietly. Duo wasn't sure if he was talking to him or the ocean.
"Disappoint me?" Duo laughed, his old habit coming back in a time of crises. He made him self let go. The look in Quatre's eyes was scary, he needed Duo to be truthful. "No, never," he said. "I love you. I made a mistake, Quatre. Please, just come home, we'll talk about it." He held out his hand.
Quatre turned and looked at his hand as if it were something completely new to him. His gaze slowly lifted to Duo's face.
"A mistake?" he asked.
"Yes!" Duo answered quickly. "I never should have left you, I never should have gone to Wufei, and I never should have doubted my love for you."
"You love me?" Quatre asked, he didn't sound like he believed him.
"With all my soul," Duo answered wholeheartedly.
Quatre's hand went to his heart, as though he were trying to feel the truth in his words. Duo wanted to reach for him, to tell him he was sorry and that everything was going to be okay now, but he was afraid that he might frighten him, to push him over the edge instead of coaxing him off. Quatre opened his eyes, staring deep in to Duo's.
"I love you too, Duo," he said.
Duo knew what he was going to do a split second before he did it, his brain told his body to move right as Quatre's foot slipped back, with a small push off, Quatre was off of the cliff.
Duo acted, he ran, jumped and slid to the edge, hand out to grab the falling man, but he was too late. Quatre fell, a stream of tears following his decent. He'd let go of the tears he had been holding back. Duo watched as Quatre's body hit the water, splashing up and obscuring the view of Quatre's body sinking in to the water.
Duo closed his eyes. Tears fell off of the cliff, hitting the water Quatre had just fallen in to. He sobbed along with the cries of a seagull, guilt and pain wrenching his heart in two.
~
//Seagulls fly
When mermaids cry//
Duo sat at the edge of the cliff, his knees pulled under his chin. He listened to the waves crash, the gulls' call, and smelled the ocean air. Quatre had loved it here, had loved the sea. Old jokes about Quatre growing fins came back to him.
//Those tears won't dry
For Lorelei//
Duo remembered the news report. Young men around his age were disappearing from around here. He stood up and wiped away his tears. He looked out to the ocean. It was impossible, fairy tales and horror stories never came true, everyone knew that.
//There she is I hear her cry
She's asking me if I will die//
A light sweet sound floated from the sea, a slow, luring melody. The seagulls cried out, and the waves crashed against the rocks adding to the strange song. Duo's breath caught.
A flash of blond hair...
*It's just my mind playing tricks on me.*
...Soft laughter carried in the wind...
Duo stifled a sob. The laughter was so much like Quatre's, so joyful and full of life. Duo stepped closer to the edge. He looked out across the water, searching for any sign...
*There!*
Out across the water, -so far away he wasn't sure if he even saw it- was a pale shape, stark against the dark waters. The shape moved closer, the sunlight flashed over something, flex of light glinting off of the shape.
The music grew louder. Duo looked around quickly, reluctant to tare his gaze away from the shape for too long. There were people on the beach near him, but they were oblivious to the music.
He looked back to the shape. It was closer now, blond hair and pale skin visible from the distance. It dipped under the water, showing off the pale blue tail, covered in shining scales.
"Quatre?" Duo whispered, afraid that if he were too loud the vision would vanish, leaving him alone again.
The song and figure stopped, Duo held his breath.
//There ain't nothing I won't do
For you Lorelei//
The music started again, quieter this time. Duo let his breath out, he understood now. He was waiting for him. His Quatre was waiting for him. Duo slipped off his jacket and shoes, as a second thought he scribbled a note to the others, telling them that he loved them all, and that he was going to be with Quatre now.
//Seagulls fly//
Duo took a deep breath...
//When mermaids cry//
"I love you Quatre," he whispered to the figure.
A seagull called out in return, swooping down to the figure in the water before pulling back up.
//Those tears won't dry//
Duo held his breath, closed his eyes...
//For Lorelei//
...And jumped.
~The End~
Well…It's not too bad, I only wrote it in a couple of hours and it's my first shot at a songfic, well technically second but I'm rewriting that one 'cause ::shivers:: it was bad. Please let me know what you think ^_^ I like to hear what people think! Reviews are squeezed in to little pieces 'cause I love 'em so much! Your review will be read and read and...Well you get the picture...