Disclaimer: Xena, Gabrielle, etc do not belong to me. I'm just playing with them
Spoilers: Well, considering the show ended ten years ago…
a/n: I've messed with everything for the sake of the story. So any sacrifices of canon and timing are laid at the altar of creative license.
The forest is eternity. That's what Gabrielle Lila as she runs between the trees, her dress tangling with the green until she seems one of the nymphs she talks about. Her eyes are green like leaves, set on something just beyond the next tree. But Lila is tired and the world is an unfamiliar place.
'I want to go home.'
Gabrielle touches the bark of a tree; she is a wild thing, on the edge of flight. 'Can't you feel it?'
'What?'All she can feel is the burn of her legs, the emptiness of her stomach. She wonders why she let Gabrielle talk her into this.
'Time.'
Gabrielle is fond of saying strange things; the world she sees is so different to Lila's she might as well be lying.
'Come on,' She says, dragging an unwilling Gabrielle behind her. She clings to her, because there's a silly thought in her head and she can't get it out. She thinks that Gabrielle might just disappear.
When they reach home, Mother fusses over them, asks where they've been. Lila says they were gathering mushrooms and holds up her basket as proof. Gabrielle tells her they were playing with the tree nymphs.
Mother shakes her head, 'You must get your head out of the clouds, daughter. Now help me, your father will be home soon.' The words are thin with use and Gabrielle just rolls her eyes where Mother can't see.
Father comes home with the setting of the sun, there's dirt smeared on his cheeks, and he sits at their table, an aloof god. He calls Lila a good girl, a well behaved girl. He scowls at Gabrielle and tells her she could learn from her sister.
Lila feels the warm flush of pride flutter in her stomach. Her father has her Best Interests at Heart. Thanks to him, one day she'll have her own house to look after, babes to swaddle and a husband who kisses her when he gets home from the fields. She will sing at harvest, and watch her daughters marry.
But Gabrielle climbs trees and calls them mountains.
Their swords are stars when they come, she can't bear to look at them. They're shouting a strange name, the syllables blur into one crescendo of sound. And then Gabrielle's hands are hard on her shoulders and she's pushed up against as tree and her sister is covering her body with her own, a hand is over her mouth.
'Hush, Lila,' She whispers and Lila can't see her face but there's no fear in her voice. Even though Lila is made of terror.
Together they watch the sky getting painted red and black.
Gabrielle is waving around a stick triumphantly. Perdicus is sitting on the ground, rubbing his head, and Lila is confused.
'What are doing?' Lila asks as her sister tells him to yield or suffer the consequences.
'We're having a sword fight,' Perdicus explains.
Lila is mystified, 'With sticks?'
Gabrielle talks slowly, like she's talking to a little child, 'Don't be silly Lila.'
'You're the silly one!'
'I am not!'
'Am too!'
'That,' Gabrielle says loftily, 'Is grammatically incorrect.' And then she stalks off.
Gabrielle looks at Perdicus, 'Why are you sitting on the ground?'
'Gabrielle hit me over the head,' He says cheerfully, like having a fight with sticks is an excellent idea, up there with the wheel. Though, the way Gabrielle talks, it probably seemed that way.
'Are you okay?'
'I'm alright. It was fun.'
Lila decides she will never understand boys.
They call her Xena. Lion of Amphipolis. Warrior Princess. They say her heart is a rock, her eyes are carved of ice, the only heat in her is bloodlust. They say she smiles as she stands over the corpses of her victims.
'They want me to marry Perdicus. Perdicus!' Gabrielle shouts it at the oblivious sky, like one of her tragic, forsaken warriors.
Lila isn't quite sure what's wrong with Perdicus. He is kind and gentle; he looks at Gabrielle like she is his everything. Like he'd do anything for her.
She agrees it's a travesty. Whatever that means.
The first tune they are allowed to join in the singing at harvest, Perdicus says to Gabrielle she sings like an angel. She looks bewildered when he hovers around her, a half-smile n his lips. Lila thinks that she writes of love but can't see it when it's right before her eyes.
He comes to her then, his smile is warm and slow, his words trip over each other in their haste to reach her ears. As they talk he brushes her wrist with callused fingertips and sparks dance down her spine.
She can feel her life clicking into place, firm and sure. She pities her sister then, who is warmed only by paper and ink, who is missing little pieces of herself.
She has no weapons but her hands and a death wish. She wears her darkness almost brightly, she shines with reckless fury. Men lie at her feet like sacrifices to a goddess of slaughter.
Lila's fingernails dig into Gabrielle's arms as she says in a voice like a sword sliding from its sheath, 'Tell Draco Xena says hello.'
She doesn't understand the look into Gabrielle's eyes then, she doesn't realize the world has just shifted from under her feet.
Mother says that Gabrielle will come home. She says she will weary of sleeping on the side of the road, of not knowing when or what she'll eat. She'll realize what kind of woman Xena of Amphipolis is.
Father never says his daughter's name, he turns away whenever they talk of her, but there's a look in his eyes that makes Lila realize that he, like everyone else, does love Gabrielle.
But all that comes is the rumours, calling a murderer a hero, calling a farmgirl a bard. Taking familiarity and polishing it until nothing looks the same.
Sometimes Lila forgets to miss Gabrielle. Sometimes she cannot remember to feel guilty about that either, because her sister is far away and she knows Gabrielle does not miss her.
They ride in on a white horse. The warrior's eyes are softer but there's something hard and old in the planes of Gabrielle's face, as if she's taken some of Xena's darkness away, only to find her own. She walks with confidence, even arrogance. And her skirt is really short. Lila tells her to put some clothes on and gets a laugh in response.
From both of them. Lila didn't realize Xena knew how to laugh.
They tell wondrous stories. Lila asks in jest if Gabby is an Amazon now and Gabrielle laughs and says yes, a queen. Xena complains when she tells them tales of the warrior's bravery, says she's exaggerating. But Lila thinks she doesn't mind as much as she says she does.
One night she passes their room and stops. They're in the same bed and Gabrielle is wrapped around Xena, one of those deadly hands is stroking blond hair. Xena's eyes meet Lila's and she shivers because those eyes are so blue.
'I want to talk to you,' Lila isn't sure where the words come from, but they're floating in the air and she can't pull them back/
Xena presses a finger to her lips and nods. She gently extracts herself from Gabrielle's embrace-she's wearing pale cotton that reveals the sun-darkened skin of her arms. Lila cannot help but watch as Gabrielle makes a soft, mewling sound, her hand searching for the other woman. Xena catches that hand and bring it to her lips. Whispers, "I'll be back, Gabrielle."
It's the way Xena says her name. Lingering on the syllables. Caressing them. That's what makes Lila realize.
They're lovers. Xena and Gabrielle are lovers.
She confronts Xena with this knowledge as soon as the woman follows her out.
Xena doesn't deny it. She stares into the distance; her hair is dark and tangled.
'How long?'
'A while.' It's not an admission.
'She married Perdicus!'
She thinks Xena actually shudders at that, 'Yes.'
Lila stares at her, 'How are you even-how can two women be lovers?'
Xena smirks, her teeth are stars, 'Do you really want to know what I do with your sister in bed?' Lila grimaced, 'No' Xena's voice drops to a whisper, 'I didn't think so.'
'I don't like you,' Lila says, because somehow, this night wants only truth.
'I know.'
'You're a murderer.'
Xena's face is shadowed, 'Yes.'
'Do you love her?' The important question, the one that shivered in the air.
Their eyes meet and Xena whispers, 'Yes, yes, yes, yes.'
'Xena?' The torn ribbon of Gabrielle's voice, heavy with sleep twines around Xena and breaks the fear-enthrallment she has over Lila. A snake's hold on a mouse. She never feels smaller than when she is around the warrior.
'I'm coming.'
Xena is aching beautiful then, with a smile on her lips and eyes that are melted ice.
'I'm sorry.'
Gabrielle's face is made of stone, she blinks slowly and carefully. her breathing is measured, like she must think about it. She doesn't reply, her hands clench at her knees. They are callused now, her skin is marked with faint, silver scars.
'You'll look after my scrolls?'
'Yes, sister,' She wants to touch her, but she is a stranger now. When she had ridden in, Lila hadn't recognised this fierce, hard-eyed warrior, this muscled woman with a strange sword at her side and a sneer on her face, 'Where will you go?'
'Amphipolis. Then Amazonia. Perhaps they'll remember they have a queen.'
'Everyone dies,' she tells a woman who is twenty-five years too young. She would fix her, but she is an old woman now, and Gabrielle's pieces are scattered across the known world.
She touches the chakram on her belt, 'I know.' She doesn't have to say that's no comfort.
Gabrielle is almost out the door when Lila speaks again, 'Sister…'
She turns back, her green eyes are clear and emotionless, 'Yes?'
'You don't have to die as well.'
'I've learned the last lesson Xena had to teach,' The warrior's name sounds like a wound, 'Do you know what that is, Lila?'
Lila shakes her head, mute with a lead tongue and a heart that won't stay in place.
'You have to fight for something you'll never quite catch. She fought for redemption. I'll fight for her, for the day we'll find each other again.'
'Even in death she takes you from me,' Lila says, her words taste like salt.
Gabrielle just walks away.
