A/N: Wow I haven't posted anything in so long! But oh well, at least I did now. Hope you enjoy!!!
Warnings: This is a Sasunaru, so all opposed to this pairing, either convert or leave. Thank you.
Disclaimer:If I seriously owned all these characters, I think I'd atleast be able to afford my own labtop. For now, it's still a dream.
The Joys of Being a Skank
By: Supporter of Free Love
I was 13 years old the first time I had sex. Just about a year after Sasuke had left for the Sound Village. Did I enjoy it? Not particularly. Was I ready? Hell no, I was only 13. I hadn't even hit puberty yet. Did I need it?
Yes.
I'd rather not get into the messy and awkward details in which come with describing sex, and it'd probably be even more awkward then necessary since it was with a guy. Yes, Uzumaki Naruto had gay butt-sex. So what of it? Not one of the most glamorous moments of my life, but…
Well, just stating, it's not as if I wish I hadn't done it or anything. Or that's at least what I feel now, looking back at the situation. But back then, it was one of the most shameful secrets I had, next to being the Kyuubi container. Sleeping with a guy like Sai was an ultimate low.
Oops, did I forget to mention that fact as well? Hell, it was degrading enough having to live with myself as it is, can you blame me for not mentioning it? I mean, he's such a phony, smiling that fake-ass smile all the time, his long, freaky black hair the color of a raven's feathers. Eyes as dark as the depths of the ocean. Skin as pale and creamy as the moon itself. Why I ever did it at all with Sai is beyond me…
He just looks so much like Sasuke that it's disgusting! It was just like fucking your best friend! Not that me and Sasuke were best friends. That whole relationship ended the moment he left Konoha. I hate his guts.
Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, the sex. I bet you think it can't get any more worse then that. Let's list off the embarrassing details. First off, gotta recap the fact that I did it with Sai. All I can say is EW, and I obviously had to have been on something. Maybe I was drugged. No idea.
Secondly, we kind of got it on in the middle of the training field…who knew I could be such an exhibitionalist? I sure as hell know now, but I was young and naive then. Besides, it wasn't as if anyone was around.
Saving the worse for last, all I have to say in my defense is that I wasn't myself. Or else there is no way I would've bottomed. Yep, you heard right, I was the catcher in this one-moment relationship. Not that I really understood anything that was happening at the time. Again, too young and naïve to be held responsible for my actions. Now that I'm older, I don't mind being the "uke" of the relationship. I actually prefer it. Although I get the sinking feeling the Sai only knew what he was doing because of all those self-help books he reads.
Now what kind of normal person, or should I say guy, reads a book on gay man sex? Seriously, this guy is messed up in the head. Just like Sasuke. Both of them are crazy, I tell you. If Sasuke was around, I bet they'd be good friends.
It's been two years since Sasuke has left for Orochimaru. I haven't gone after him. Good riddance is what I say. I know I promised Sakura I'd bring him back for her, but…over the years I've changed. No longer do my promises mean anything. Everything I say is just empty. I'm not even part of Team 7 anymore. I quit that after Kakashi got on my case for failing to show up to practice on time (I would arrive even later then Kakashi!) and arriving hung over. Being a ninja was just too much stress, and I prefered partying anyways. Even Sakura, Iruka, and Tsunade couldn't convince me.
From time to time, I still do missions. But not the kind of missions that others find desirable. I do what all the other shinobi call "seduction missions." AKA, I fuck other enemy ninja for information. All in all, I believe everybody wins in this situation. The other Leaf shinobi don't have to worry about losing their innocence, and I get paid to do what I do best.
I guess I'm no longer someone to be respected. Apparently to be respected, you're not supposed to sleep with men twice your age. But I don't give a damn. No one's opinion matters to me anymore. I like having the feeling that if I'm feeling the urge for a warm body, I can snap my fingers and gay (and some strait) men will swarm to me, begging to fuck me. Depression can be easily battled when others desire for your company. It's not as if I'm picky with my men. I'll fuck basically any guy these days.
After Sai, I realized that although sex could be painful at times, it at least made me feel something. As if I wasn't meant to be lonely for the rest of my life. When Sasuke left, it felt as if I had no emotions left. Every smile I faked, every laugh I forced, killed me a little more and more inside, until it was too much to take. Sex was a relief. Something I had control of. I could choose when I wanted it, and how I wanted it. Rarely did I want to top though. Strange, huh?
Ha, how far the Great Uzumaki, future Hokage, has fallen. The prankster has now become nothing more then a whore. Only good for a quick fuck. But like I give a shit. I admit, I haven't given a damn ever since Sasuke slipped from my fingers. Ever since I failed to keep one of my precious people safe.
Sitting down at the bar, shot after shot being downed by myself, I wallow in my pathetic life and what could have been. I know I'm not happy. I'm not sure I know how to again. For all I know, I'm dying of AIDs or some other god damn sexually transmitted disease. But at least I can still feel.
An hour later finds me in the back room with the ugly ass guy who owns this dump, his hand down my pants as I down another bottle of whiskey and grab for another. Why not let him do what he wants? I'm feeling generous. I might even let him fuck me later if the mood strikes me. I got nothing better to do, and I could use the relief.
Just five minutes later, and my pants are gone. No underwear, but like I wear that kind of clothing anymore anyways. In, out, in, out, and in and out some more. I just watch as he continually thrusts into me, a look of constipation on his face. Yes, I just said constipation. Excuse me for not being romantic. He pants in my ear, gasping for air like an out of shape fat guy who just ran a mile without stopping.
It only took a little bit for him to come. Stupid idiot couldn't even come inside of me, so he got a mess everywhere. Stupid, inexperienced fag with no god damn stamina. He had instantly fallen asleep as well afterwards, with a stupid self-satisfied grin on his face. Which doesn't shock me, since I'm assuming it's been a while since he'd gotten some.
Getting up, I barely even winced, used to having cock up my ass. Walking out of the back room, I stopped at the cash register and picked up a little reward I felt I had earned. And the stupid bar attendant watching the register just smiled all dopey-like at me, obviously stoned. Stupid people in this world.
Walking home, I decided to take a detour and go to my spot where I could just sit and think. No one knew of this spot except for me, obviously, and I didn't really have anyone to tell about it. Deep in the woods, if you kept walking past the little stream, you'd come upon this gorgeous lake. It's truly an unbelievable sight at night.
My favorite spot is under this one willow tree right on the edge of the lake. This is where I'd sit, gazing up at the moon from beneath the protective shelter of the willow. I never do go swimming. Can't really say why, since the clear water looks so very cool and inviting. But I'm always content just watching the moon and thinking calmly for hours.
For some odd reason though, tonight was different. That one ugly guy had left me dissatisfied, and therefore I felt nothing what-so-ever. How ironic, a nobody like me feeling nothing. Ha, I make myself laugh sometimes.
As I usually do when I'm feeling numb and unemotional, I find myself thinking of Sasuke. I don't really question why anymore. It's just the way the world works, I guess. I think about how disgusted he'd be if he ever saw me again. When he found out that instead of training to become stronger, I was too busy whoring myself out for my selfish needs.
I would now never be worthy of being on the same level as Sasuke. Sure, he betrayed Konoha and everyone he knew, but at least he still had his dreams. All that remained of my dream of being the Hokage was the necklace given to me by Tsunade, in which I had broken one night in a drunken stupor. Oh yeah, I'm not even worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Sasuke.
For the first time in a while, I let the tears fall. I didn't cry full-out, but I still let the tears fall from my eyes. And they continued to fall until I fell into a light slumber.
Hell, I guess I wasn't too bad off. At least I could still cry.
A/N: So, any good? Worth continuing? Or a total waste of your fanfiction experience? I'll never know if you don't review, so make sure to do so!!!