A/N: This is my first buffy fic. Done a sliht crosover but not enough to count. This is an alternative ending to tabula rasa. Which you're probably sick of but if u can find it in the fluffiness of ur heart to review i'd be thankful. Oh the song is 'Awake by Finch
[b]Stay With Me[/b]
[i]One devotion with empty moments
Can you stay tonight?
Silence broken with words unspoken
Now she's on her knees
'Til i'm feeling so useless
Can I beg for one more she says
The air is clearing again[/i]
Tara was painfully slow at packing her clothes. She was trembling from the nights experience.
She had finished with Willow. God, how could that be?
Her and Willow were forever. Just the week before they had sang how much they were in love!
As the thought bombarded her mind she didn't notice WIllow walking into the doorway.
"Please, stay just tonight?" She said with a hoase voice.
Tara cringed at the pain she could hear. She had no response, even if she had she didn't think she could say it aloud. It was likely to be stuttered noise.
The last piece of hope in Willow was brutally crushed by the deafening silence.
The tears she had cried came thicker and faster, her cries became louder, her legs failed her as she collapsed to the ground on all fours. Sobbing for her lost love.
Tara watched on with her face incapable of showing the pain she felt.
Her heart broke all over again as she watched Willow's shoulder quake with sobs.
She wanted so much to just take her in her arms and hold her, stroke her hair, kiss away her tears but she was abusing the magicks, she had lied and put their life's at danger.
Instead she went across the hall to the bathroom and ran the washcloth under the cold water. Quickly returning she kneeled down beside her soulmate.
"B-breathe. You'll m-make youself s-sick." She said gently as she patted away Willow's tears but they kept coming.
"P-please calm down." Tara begged.
She had seen Willow upset, she was the one holding her as she grieved her best friend. This was just as bad. It made sense. She had started to grieve their realationship.
Willow pulled away from Tara.
"One more chance?" She blurted out.
Tara avoided eye contect and kept her gaze to the floor.
After a minute of silence Willow ran from their... her room.
[i]We're breathing, water turns to wine
The day is tired, the night's inside her
Now she is alive no more feeling so useless
Can I beg for one more she says[/i]
Tara walked towards the door of the summers house... of her home.
As she put her hand on the door knob someone grabbed her shoulder.
"D-dawnie."
Dawn said nothing as she dragged Tara through the dinning room and stopped just outside of the kitchen.
"You see what this is doing? You can't leave her. You can't leave us." With that Dawn stormed upstairs.
Willow sat, slumped at the breakfast bar with a bottle of wine and a glass. She was working her way through it fast.
"Why are you torturing me? Leave if that's what you want so badly." Willow said without taking her stare from the bottle.
Tara let herself breathe, she had subcounciously held her breath.
"I-I don't want t-to l-leave." Why did she have to have a damn stutter!
"Then why are you about to walk out with a suitcase?"
"Because I have too!" She shouted to her own surprise.
Willow finally turned and made eye contect.
Tara could see the fatigue and pain in WIllow's normally bright, perfect eyes.
"No you don't." Came the meek reply.
"I'm just a big t-temptation for you to use m-magicks. You lied to me... You c-could have killed us all."
"I'll stop! I thought I was doing the right thing. I just wanted to make you and Buffy better. I didn't want to... I couldn't lose either of you." She said with the tears making a record comeback.
"You said you'd s-stop and you didn't. If I'm around you'll have a b-bigger temptation to p-practice." Tara said sadly.
"And you expect me to stop when you leave me?! I love you! How is taking that love away going to help!? The way I can stop is with support. The kind you give me! I've screwed up, I know I have. But I'll get better, if you go... I don't know what I'll do."
"Y-you'll move on. W-we c-can still be f-friends."
"I can't move on from you! You're my soulmate! I wouldn't get over you! You are my world!" Willow was now standing.
Tara stared deep into Willow's eyes... "W-we can't." She whispered.
"Please don't do this." Willow begged.
[i]Taking with arms wide open, longing for sleep again
But now i'm awake
Keep breathing to feel something
Take my breath all away[/i]
Tara was near breaking down as she slowly held outher arms for Willow.
She couldn't leave her, they were soulmates and Tara would be the lonely babbling wreck without her. They were each others world.
Willow fell into Tara's eyes and held her tighter than ever before. The scent of Tara, the feeling of her hair gave Willow more comfort than anyone could think.
Both women held each other and cried for what seemed like an eternity.
They somehow ended up back in their room... Their room.
Within a minute they were in pyjama's and wapped up in each others arms.
"Never leave me." Willow asked more than said.
"N-never. It'd k-kill me." Tara answered.
Willow gently kissed Tara.
"I love you much. I'm so sorry." She said a the tears returned yet again.
Tara wiped away the tears from Willow's puffy eyes. She was still beautiful.
"Shhh baby. I love you t-too. I-I didn't w-want to h-hurt you."
Willow cupped Tara's face, "relax. It's still me." she said trying to sooth Tara's stutter. She knew it was from fear.
Tara took a deep breath and nodded. "you're tired. You should sleep."
"We should?"
"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere." Tara promised.
Willow let her haed rest on Tara's shoulder as she felt sleep taking her.
"You'll help me, right?"
Tara kissed the top of WIllow's head, "of course. I love you, baby."
Willow made a groan in response.
Tara watched Willow sleep for the short time left before sunrise.
How could she have considered leaving? Her Will needed her like she needed Willow.
Letting a tear fall she placed another gentle kiss on Willow's forehead before letting her soulamte's steady breathing lull her to sleep.
[b]Stay With Me[/b]
[i]One devotion with empty moments
Can you stay tonight?
Silence broken with words unspoken
Now she's on her knees
'Til i'm feeling so useless
Can I beg for one more she says
The air is clearing again[/i]
Tara was painfully slow at packing her clothes. She was trembling from the nights experience.
She had finished with Willow. God, how could that be?
Her and Willow were forever. Just the week before they had sang how much they were in love!
As the thought bombarded her mind she didn't notice WIllow walking into the doorway.
"Please, stay just tonight?" She said with a hoase voice.
Tara cringed at the pain she could hear. She had no response, even if she had she didn't think she could say it aloud. It was likely to be stuttered noise.
The last piece of hope in Willow was brutally crushed by the deafening silence.
The tears she had cried came thicker and faster, her cries became louder, her legs failed her as she collapsed to the ground on all fours. Sobbing for her lost love.
Tara watched on with her face incapable of showing the pain she felt.
Her heart broke all over again as she watched Willow's shoulder quake with sobs.
She wanted so much to just take her in her arms and hold her, stroke her hair, kiss away her tears but she was abusing the magicks, she had lied and put their life's at danger.
Instead she went across the hall to the bathroom and ran the washcloth under the cold water. Quickly returning she kneeled down beside her soulmate.
"B-breathe. You'll m-make youself s-sick." She said gently as she patted away Willow's tears but they kept coming.
"P-please calm down." Tara begged.
She had seen Willow upset, she was the one holding her as she grieved her best friend. This was just as bad. It made sense. She had started to grieve their realationship.
Willow pulled away from Tara.
"One more chance?" She blurted out.
Tara avoided eye contect and kept her gaze to the floor.
After a minute of silence Willow ran from their... her room.
[i]We're breathing, water turns to wine
The day is tired, the night's inside her
Now she is alive no more feeling so useless
Can I beg for one more she says[/i]
Tara walked towards the door of the summers house... of her home.
As she put her hand on the door knob someone grabbed her shoulder.
"D-dawnie."
Dawn said nothing as she dragged Tara through the dinning room and stopped just outside of the kitchen.
"You see what this is doing? You can't leave her. You can't leave us." With that Dawn stormed upstairs.
Willow sat, slumped at the breakfast bar with a bottle of wine and a glass. She was working her way through it fast.
"Why are you torturing me? Leave if that's what you want so badly." Willow said without taking her stare from the bottle.
Tara let herself breathe, she had subcounciously held her breath.
"I-I don't want t-to l-leave." Why did she have to have a damn stutter!
"Then why are you about to walk out with a suitcase?"
"Because I have too!" She shouted to her own surprise.
Willow finally turned and made eye contect.
Tara could see the fatigue and pain in WIllow's normally bright, perfect eyes.
"No you don't." Came the meek reply.
"I'm just a big t-temptation for you to use m-magicks. You lied to me... You c-could have killed us all."
"I'll stop! I thought I was doing the right thing. I just wanted to make you and Buffy better. I didn't want to... I couldn't lose either of you." She said with the tears making a record comeback.
"You said you'd s-stop and you didn't. If I'm around you'll have a b-bigger temptation to p-practice." Tara said sadly.
"And you expect me to stop when you leave me?! I love you! How is taking that love away going to help!? The way I can stop is with support. The kind you give me! I've screwed up, I know I have. But I'll get better, if you go... I don't know what I'll do."
"Y-you'll move on. W-we c-can still be f-friends."
"I can't move on from you! You're my soulmate! I wouldn't get over you! You are my world!" Willow was now standing.
Tara stared deep into Willow's eyes... "W-we can't." She whispered.
"Please don't do this." Willow begged.
[i]Taking with arms wide open, longing for sleep again
But now i'm awake
Keep breathing to feel something
Take my breath all away[/i]
Tara was near breaking down as she slowly held outher arms for Willow.
She couldn't leave her, they were soulmates and Tara would be the lonely babbling wreck without her. They were each others world.
Willow fell into Tara's eyes and held her tighter than ever before. The scent of Tara, the feeling of her hair gave Willow more comfort than anyone could think.
Both women held each other and cried for what seemed like an eternity.
They somehow ended up back in their room... Their room.
Within a minute they were in pyjama's and wapped up in each others arms.
"Never leave me." Willow asked more than said.
"N-never. It'd k-kill me." Tara answered.
Willow gently kissed Tara.
"I love you much. I'm so sorry." She said a the tears returned yet again.
Tara wiped away the tears from Willow's puffy eyes. She was still beautiful.
"Shhh baby. I love you t-too. I-I didn't w-want to h-hurt you."
Willow cupped Tara's face, "relax. It's still me." she said trying to sooth Tara's stutter. She knew it was from fear.
Tara took a deep breath and nodded. "you're tired. You should sleep."
"We should?"
"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere." Tara promised.
Willow let her haed rest on Tara's shoulder as she felt sleep taking her.
"You'll help me, right?"
Tara kissed the top of WIllow's head, "of course. I love you, baby."
Willow made a groan in response.
Tara watched Willow sleep for the short time left before sunrise.
How could she have considered leaving? Her Will needed her like she needed Willow.
Letting a tear fall she placed another gentle kiss on Willow's forehead before letting her soulamte's steady breathing lull her to sleep.