"I once met a young girl filled with fire

That saw through my front to this shell of a man

She knew I'd be a handful from the start,

This strong willed woman had an angels heart

The holes in these wings don't allow me to fly

So you'd better brace for a life of pain,

And if fate is the path to this better life

Somehow I feel you'll never see the faces change"

Dropkick Murphys

"Upstarts and Broken Hearts"



authors notes: please R&R I don't own any of the characters except for any children that may or may not pop up. I haven't decided yet. This fiction is based on Dropkick Murphys song "Upstarts and Broken Hearts" and will only be a few chapters long. It's basically memories and an outline for Snape and Granger's relationship. I suggest you go download the song. Check out my other Snape/Granger story "Goodnight sweet princess" on fanfiction.net * let's hear it for shameless plugging*

Chapter 1



**

Snow had blanketed the rural area several days before and the remnants of the blizzard were beginning to disappear under the welcomed Sun's glowing face. The skies shown bluer than they ever had before, with fluffy white clouds spread sparsely about, moving slowly as the day dwindled on. Hogwarts castle sat against the picturesque background as comfortably as it always had, as if, when the earth was created, the castle had been created with it, in that very spot, and considering the age of the building, it wasn't far off from being there since creation. The rolling hills which the castle sat on ended by the edge of a large lake to one side, and the Forbidden Forest to the other, with the Quidditch field in the back, to the south.

I sat alone in my room on this day. An utterly breathtaking day, trying to collect my thoughts and calm myself down. I sank back down into the deeply worn in brown leather of my chair and took another deep breath. I knew I'd have to get up and get dressed soon, but I was happy sitting alone, the sun beating down on the floor before me, lighting my room just enough to be habitable. Would it be good enough to house two people though? I began to panic and my breaths came shorter and shorter until I was nearly doubled over and wheezing.

'Calm down. Deep Breaths. Don't die today.' I kept repeating to myself. Once I had regained what composure I had I smirked to myself about the last comment I kept thinking. 'Don't die today'. I wasn't by any means an old man. I was much older than she was, true, but that never mattered to her. I always thought of myself as much older than I really was, which annoyed her to end. I knew that if I died today because I kept worrying about what would please her, she'd kill me. Positively dig me up and kill me again. I snorted and sat back in the chair again. I really needed to get dressed, but I continued to lounge in my robe, with my partially wet hair uncombed and beginning to dry, matted in one direction, giving the illusion of an obscene bald spot on the side of my head. I began to mess with it and drifted back slowly into my thoughts. Mostly of when I had first met her. Not in the school, because at that time she was a child. Miss Granger. An insufferable know it all who didn't know when to keep her mouth shut and her hands and knowledge to herself. She had been the reason the Longbottom passed my potions class. All three of us knew it, but I didn't want to see him again, so I kept that bit of knowledge to myself and let it slide. No, when I had first really met her. It had been about 4 years since the last time I had seen any in her graduating class, and she had returned so that she could intern with the Arithmancy professor, so she herself could become a professor. In fact, she had already had offerings from the Salem Witches Institute for the Arithmancy position, which needed to be filled ASAP. She had returned and I had missed her, not actually missed her, but I didn't know who it was who was interning at the school. She had grown slightly since she left, and living on her own made her fill out a little bit more, but she carried herself with great ease, and had an internal fire about her. She kept her hair pulled up tightly at all times, and when she first arrived it seemed to me that the insufferable know it all had grown up into an uptight young-old woman. The type who worry over the smallest detail and were steeped in tradition and were strict in every way of life.





*flashback*

"Miss Granger I believe?" Severus Snape let a small, half smile emerge from his slight lips and held out his arm waiting for her to latch on. Snow drifted down lightly outside, and could be seen from the large windows right outside of the Great Hall. Hermione hadn't emerged to often from her quarters in the 6th floor corridor except to goto Arithmancy to help teach and sometimes to the Library to help tutor some poor soul in potions, or worse, Professor Binn's History of Magic course. Other than this, she kept to herself, not even descending to dinner with all the professors except on special feasts. This Yule Ball she decided to make an appearance and as she made her way down the stairs she saw Snape leaning against a pillar, in black dress robes. He offered his arm and she hesitantly took it.

"You clean up nice." She commented to him. He had pulled his hair back and made an effort to look presentable.

"You know I couldn't be big bad potions master if I looked like this all the time. Try instilling fear into the hearts of the pure and innocent some time with clean hair and a nice look about you." He responded in a serious voice. Hermione looked up at him for a moment and let her jaw drop slightly when she saw that he had a completely serious look on his face. She looked ahead and laughed to herself.

"So why do are you escorting me this evening?"

"Well it was you or McGonagall, and you're not old enough to be my grandmother, so I decided to bite back all my hate and malice towards you and be a gentleman this evening."

"Well you're facade is well kept." Hermione nodded in agreement and picked up the knee of her strapless sanguine dress, so that the toes of her shoes could find their way and not trip over the hem. As they entered the Great Hall together the music seemed to stop just in time and everyone turned and stared. Hermione dropped the little bit of fabric in her hands and placed her hand on his arm and smiled sweetly at everyone. The two made their way up to the head table and sat down at their usual seats. No one in their entire room seemed to notice Dumbledore's tranquil smile and radiant blue eyes.







I looked down at my watch. 11:00 am. I was already dressed and had eaten the light breakfast that the house elves had brought for me. The clouds were beginning to become more stationary and build up. Some had gray underbellies and it looked like it might snow lightly before the afternoon was out, but I quickly pushed that outside my mind as I began to pace up and down in front of my large fireplace. Everything was in order as far as I knew, but I also knew that on important days such as this that little things had bad habits of popping up from the middle of no where and ruining everything you had planned. I ran my fingers through my hair and continued with my deep breathing exercises and took a long stride over to my bookcase and removed a large leather bound book. It was a photo album. Filled with every memory I had of, and with her. I sat it on my desk and opened it up. I took one look outside and then down at the pictures, all waving and smiling, sunny days and snowy days. Indoor photo's with rain pounding on the windows in the background, or with the night sky beaming down with the light of hundreds of angel eyes. One photo in particular brought up a particularly interesting memory. He watched as Hermione from a year ago licked on an ice cream cone in a London park, periodically laughing and waving.





*flashback*



"What are you doing?"

"Taking your picture." Severus laughed as he quickly snapped a photo and placed the camera back into the folds of his robe. Hermione shook her head at him. He insisted on wearing what he always wore, even though it was unseasonably warm outside, and they were out among muggles. She sat down under a tree and beckoned him over. A small older woman sat on a bench staring at them, glaring at Severus and clicking her tongue in disapproval.

"Come here." Hermione said, ignoring the woman and her growing interest in the couple.

"Yes?" He asked as he sat down beside her.

"Look, we're being watched." Hermione nodded toward the woman who immediately looked away. Severus smirked and put his arm around Hermione. The woman, whose attention was back onto the two of them, sniffed and shifted in her seat. Hermione laughed and ate at her raspberry ripple ice cream. He smiled and leaned back against the tree, peering at Hermione from the corner of his half-closed eye. She laid down with her head in his lap and watched the azure sky fly by through the shady cool of the large green leaves of the tree. Hours passed by and neither seemed to notice, since everything seemed to be perfect. Grey clouds began to form quickly and it began to rain, chasing them both from the light and pleasant sleep they had drifted into. Hermione jumped up and grabbed Severus's hand laughing.

"How long have we been out here?" he asked her.

"All day I think. We should find somewhere to get out of this." She replied. Severus looked at her and interlocked his fingers in with hers. Hermione looked down and smiled and the two began to slowly walk.

"You know, just a few years ago, I never thought I'd be walking in the rain with such a beautiful woman." He said, not looking anywhere but in front of him.

"That's kind of cheesy." Hermione crinkled her nose.

"But it's true." he paused. "Why me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're so young. You're 25 years old."

"And you're 43. so what? Why does it matter to you? It doesn't matter to me. I'm happy with you just the way you are." She interrupted him.

"That's good to know, since I don't plan on changing." He responded in a serious tone.

"I wouldn't want you to." Hermione smiled to herself and put her head on his shoulder.

"Really?"

"Truly. I love you Severus." Hermione stopped and looked up straight. Severus continued on a few more steps before what she had said sunk in and he too stopped dead in his tracks. The rain was pouring down even harder now, and street lamps were beginning to turn on. Hermione had never told him she loved him. He had told her one time, but she rejected him, and said that she didn't want to hear that from a co-worker, and that because of their teaching positions at Hogwarts she wished to have a completely platonic relationship with him. Still, Severus pursued her, and she eventually gave into his requests for her company on weekend excursions to Diagon Alley or Hogsmede or just having tea with him in the castle. Everything he could have said flashed through his mind as he turned on his heel to look at Hermione. She just stood there, drenched. Her normally curly brown hair was straight under the water weight and sticking to her face and neck and back. Her light blue shirt was soaked through and her jeans were clinging to her legs most uncomfortably. She just stood there, crying. Severus could only see her breathing was irregular because of the stream of rain down her flushed face. His normally hard, dark brown eyes had gone soft and weary. He knew how she felt and told himself that in the moment she had slipped up, and betrayed herself, that part of him relished in dreams, 'Maybe she did mean it Severus, she's finally admitted it'. The logical part told him to get over it, act like he hadn't heard her and get her to a warm place. But he decided that he was going to have to take this into his own hands. He took a few steps towards her and she shrank back, as if she was still frightened of her old potions master.

"Hermione." he said in a loud whisper, extending his hand. She nodded her head and took his hand and grabbed him around his neck, pulling herself into the folds of his robe. He smelled warm. A scent of everything that made a person comfortable, like home almost, wrapped up in love's arms. Hermione knew that she was in love with him, but she couldn't understand why at the same time, she hated herself for saying anything about it. Severus wrapped one arm around her waist and stroked her head with the other.

"I really do love you." She gushed into his chest.

"I love you too." he whispered in her ear and pushed her back to look at her. He wiped her tears away and smiled at her.

"Really?" She asked.

"Truly."