I lay in bed looking up at the ceil knowing that its time to wake up. Its 5:30 a.m. and my class starts at 9. I sit up rubbing the sleep from my eyes and walk into my on suite bathroom. turning on the shower the hot water begin to steam up the room. I step under the water and just let the hot water wash over my body. I close my eyes and allow my mind to wonder like it does every morning.
My name is Emily Fields. I'm 20 years old. I live in Rosewood, Pennsylvanian and have my entire life pretty much. At least this was home base for my family. My dad was a U.S Solider and my mom was a domestic most of the time. When my dad had to leave, she worked as a secretary. When I was 15, my mom found out she was pregnant. I was an only child until then. I was happy to have a new sibling but it was going to be a huge adjustment for me.
On April 10th, six days after my 16th birthday, my mom gave birth to twins, Dominic Jonathan Fields and Jessica Alexis Fields. When they were a little over year old my mom found out once again she was with child. Not long after she found out, we got the devastation news that my father was Killed In Action. I cried for weeks. I couldn't believed it happen but I had to be strong for my mom and siblings.
May 12th she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It was a great 18th birthday gift because she looked so much like my father. She named her Sydney Denise Fields. When Syd was only two months old, my mom died in a major car accident. Here I am only 18, no friends and three kids to take care of. They said they could put them into the system and put them up for adoption but they were the only family I had so I had to take care of them. I put off going to college to raise them. Both of my parents had life insurance policies so we were taking care of money wise. The house was mine.
I open my eyes and finish up my shower. I dress before walking down the hall to the twins room.
"Mama." Jessie said rubbing her eyes.
"Ready to get up?" she nodded her head and climbed down from her bed. I looked over at Dom but he was still sound asleep. I grab her tiny hand and walk down to Syd's room. she was standing up in her crib looking at me. "Hi baby." I said happily picking up. "Let's go to the bathroom you two." Syd was in the process of being potty trained and she was getting better and better. I still put a pull up on her at night just in case.
"Can we have pancakes?" Jessie asked and I smiled.
"Anything for you." I kissed her forehead helping them both wash their hands before heading downstairs. I made pancakes and eggs before running upstairs to get Dom up. "Little man, it's time to get up. breakfast is downstairs." he rubbed his eyes and lifted his arms signaling he wanted to be carried. I take him to the bathroom before taking him down the table to eat his food.
"After we eat, we take are getting dressed for school alright. no horse playing this morning."
"Mama, I don't wanna go to school." Dom said with a mouth full of eggs.
"You have to baby boy. I have to go to school too." he furrowed his eyebrows and I kissed them. "This weekend we can go to the park okay?"
"Okay." he said smiling. He loved going to the park. I honestly didn't have time to take them to the park but if it would make him happy, then its worth it right?
For the last two years, I haven't done anything fun. Spencer, Aria and Hanna all moved away before my dad passed away. They don't even know my parents are gone. They don't know that I have siblings. As for Maya, My girlfriend, her parents moved back to California around the same time the girls left. that was about six years ago. I missed them so much but I cannot think about that. I have three kids now. My three kids. I tried to get them to not call me mama but they just didn't understand that so I allowed them to. I will tell them when they get older the truth but they deserve a mother just like I had one.
"All done." Syd said smiling. She was a happy child. they all were.
"You're covered in syrup baby. You all are." I grab some baby wipes from under the sink and clean their faces and hands. "time to get dress."
"we dress ourselves." Dom said grabbing Jessie hand and walking up the stairs. they are in their phrase of dressing by their selves and they actually pick out matching clothes so I don't mind it.
"Okay when you're done come to my room so I can do your hair." I dress Syd in a shirt and jeans. I pull her hair into a pony tail and sat her on the bed letting her watch TV. Jessie walks in a purple dress and sandals. I pull her hair into a pony tail as well then brushed Dom's hair. "Jessie let's go put leggings on under this okay? it's a pretty dress baby."
"Thank you mama." she skips down the hall to her room and grabs a pair of pink leggings. she sit on the floor taking her sandals off and stands putting on the leggings. "I'm a princess."
"Yes you are. A beautiful princess." I tie shoes and make sure they are ready before looking at the clock. its 7 after everyone is ready and that gives me enough time to drop the twins off at preschool and then Ali at daycare.
I drop the twins off at Pre-School and drive to the daycare down the street from the college. I walk inside to make sure Sydney is set in class. "I love you." I tell her kissing her forehead. "love you too mommy." she turn looking towards the toys and runs off to play. I stand up and head back to the car.
it was hard finding balance between having three kids and going to school. it took me an entire year before I could get into college. I quit everything I loved for them and I wouldn't change anything. I walk into class and take a seat off to the side near the back. I didn't have any friends in class and I didn't want any friends. all my friends left me awhile ago and I didn't feel like replacing them. my love life died long ago when Maya left as well.
"Good morning Everyone! Today we are going to have a pop quiz on what we learn last week." the professor started and I felt like my head was going to explode. when the class was over the professor called my name. "Ms. Fields, Can I speak to you for a minute?"
"Professor Myles how can I help you?"
"I want to talk you about your work in class." I look at him with an nervous glance. "No don't be worried. you are an excellent student. But I'm concern about you absence lately. you missed all last week but manage to do well on this test by first glance. you class work is unbelievable."
"Then what's the problem sir?"
"If you continue missing class I will have to report you."
"my kids had the flu and I'm a single mom."
"oh I didn't know that."
"yes sir. I don't make them my excuse but that is the reason sir. I made sure I studied and stayed on what I was missing online."
"I understand. but couldn't their father help out?"
"he died sir. it's just me." I nodded and looked down.
"Thank you Ms. Fields. That will be all." I nodded my head and place my bag on my shoulder exiting the building. I head to admissions to drop off my next payment. I'm standing in line when I hear a familiar voice coming from not to far ahead of me. That sweet, raspy voice that I haven't heard in maybe six years. I closed my eyes picturing the beauty who voice went together perfectly. when I open my eyes I liked to fall out. It was her. Why is she here?
I turn to face the wall as she started to make her way in my direction. she was talking to the admissions lady and as they walked by I heard her say, "I cannot wait to start school here. I miss being in Philly." with that she was gone. my heart started to beat as if it was going to rip out of my chest. I wish the line would hurry and move. I drop off my payment and go pick up my babies then head home for the day.
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its been two weeks since I seen her. I haven't see her on campus but then again I haven't been trying to either. I walk into Professor Myles class and immediately I feel something in off in the room. I see someone speaking to professor. she is about 5'4 with long black hair. she has a olive skin tone and my heart starts to race. it cannot be her. please say it isn't so.
I take my seat and flip to the next empty page in my notebook. Something tells me to look up and when I do our eyes meet. Her brown ones bore into my brown ones. The eyes I fell in love with. The ones I loved looking at. her lips part and I felt all the air leave my lungs. she started to move towards me and the professor started to speak. she sat down in the seat she stop at and paid attention to Mr. Myles.
when he concluded class I was out of there before he could even finish the sentence. I wanted to get as far away from her as possible. Why the hell was she in my class if she just started here?
"Em! Emily!" I heard the voice calling my name. I slam my hand against the door of my car and open the door throwing my bag in. "Emily is that really you?"
I let out a deep breath before turning around and facing her. "Maya."
"Oh my god baby it is really you." she smiled so brightly and her eyes weld with tears. "What happen to you? You just disappeared. You erased your facebook. You changed your number. I tried to contact you I tried but I couldn't reach you."
"Maya I—"
"Em."
"I have to go." I rushed out getting in my car and pulling away as fast as possible. I couldn't be that close to her. I couldn't breathe. I felt like all the oxygen was sucked out of the air. I pull into the daycare parking lot and just sat there trying to catch my breath. tears roll down my face. I try to compose myself before I walk inside to get Sydney.
"Mama!" she yelled running into my arms. "go get your bag from your chubby." I stand up and walk towards her teacher.
"Emily."
"Hi Diana. How was she?"
"She was good as always. she painted some pictures but she wouldn't go down for her nap."
"yeah I notice that on the weekend. she just wouldn't go to sleep."
"I'm sure she will get out of it. just give her some time."
"I will see you in two days." I tell her picking up Syd kissing her cheek as we walk out the door. "Are you ready for a nap?" she smiled doing an evil laugh and shook her head. "No." I belting her in and tickle her tummy. "Yes huh!"
"Mommy stop!" she laughed and I immediately forgot about what just happen. her sweet innocent laugh filled my heart. "Ready to go get sissy and bubba?" she nodded her head. "Give me kiss." she kisses me and I close the door driving to the pre-school getting my other babies.
"Tell me all about school babies." I tell the twins and they start talking over the other telling about the different things they did and how much fun they had. "You guys sound like you had a lot of fun today. Did we take naps?"
"Yes we both did." Jess spoke up. "Can we watch TV when we get home?"
"Do you have worksheets to do?"
"No promise mommy." Dominic said and I smiled. He is so adorable. I looked in my rear view mirror and stared at my little triples. they all looked just liked me when I was their age. I could see little pieces of both of my parents in them. Dominic reminded me a lot of my dad, very sweet and attentive while Jess was my mom, bossy and protective. Sydney was just a bowl of sugar. Pure sweetness.
I pull into the drive way and I get Sydney out the car. they ran to the front door ready to go inside. I let them in and I grab Sydney up in my arms making her laugh out loud. "It's nap time for you missy." I kiss her cheek and sit down on the couch with her.
"Lay down with mommy. I'm tired." I laid down and she cuddled close to me. I watched TV for the better part of thirty minutes before I look down and see Sydney is sound asleep. I pick her up placing her in her pin to carry out her nap. I go check on the twins who have fallen asleep watching Arthur on the floor. I hear the door bell ring and I run to the door. I swing the door open without looking and freeze in my spot.
"Maya—"
A/N: This is the revamp version of MY CRAZY WORLD! I hope this version is better and that you enjoy what I have done with it. Please let me know what you think.
With so much love,
Desshaje