River Song. The name I was given by none other than the Doctor himself. Not that I mind, it's actually rather catchy. Sometimes though, I wonder who I would have been had I instead chosen to be Melody Pond. My birth name. The name given to me by my parents. And yet, I wasn't Melody anymore. I was River Song; the woman who kills the Doctor, the Archeologist, the one who is fearless. Fearless. I wish that was true. But no matter how courageous or daring I come across as, I'm still only human. Well, half-human, half-Time Lord. But the truth of the matter still stands. Everyone is afraid of something; and that includes me.
Still, I'm not afraid of too many things. But one thing that absolutely frightens me down to my core would probably have to be the Silence. Not that it would show anyway. I do an exceptional job of making sure no one worries about me; I hate it when they do. And besides, everyone has enough to deal with without making sure I'm alright. Usually, I'm not. But like I said, no one knows.
I remember being afraid of the Silence before I was old enough to shoot. Them and Madam Kovarian. They had kidnapped me from my mother, raising and training me for one purpose and one purpose only: to kill The Doctor. They had drilled me day and night, not that I could remember them doing it personally; only the sheer agony of the things they had me do. And as soon as I looked away I'd forget everything about them. Which meant they could do anything to me, and I wouldn't remember. So I learned very early on to be afraid, to be very afraid.
One night they trained me in a spacesuit; and it was the worst experience of my life. That night was the night I escaped. I was only a child, but I'd been through torture to an extent no adult had ever been through, and I'd already regenerated twice before that night. I'd managed to force my way out of the spacesuit and I shot my way out of the old, abandoned orphanage that had been my only home for the first ten years of my life. Then, I remember running, running for my life. I was too afraid to stop; knowing a far worse punishment was in stake for me if I was ever to be re-captured. So I ran. I ran, and I ran, and I ran.
I ran the whole night, never stopping; only slowing down to catch my breath or to observe my surroundings. I remember seeing the sun rise, and coming to a halt in a clearing beneath the purple-grey sky. I shivered, because although they had provided me with the proper necessities for a child my age, in my hurry to leave I had forgotten to bring my coat.
But I was free. They wouldn't be able to find me. I'd never have to go back there ever again. Relieved, I almost fell over in shock. I couldn't believe I'd made it. I sat down among the long, flowing grass of the meadow, and I cried. And I'd never seen the Silence since, not stopping to even think if they were still out there.
My name is River Song, as Melody Pond no longer exists. I am half-human, half-Time Lord, I am 548 years old, and if you ask me what I am afraid of; I will say nothing. Why? Because as soon as I look away, I forget my fear entirely. Some might say it must be nice, to be able to forget your fears in a split second…but it's the exact opposite. Because every day, I'm waiting. Waiting for the day that they find me again. And I won't even know it's coming.
Review? Please?