Chapter 1: Welcome to What I Call My Life

Loren Tate

Happiness was not a feeling I was fondly familiar of, because all my happiness had been taken away when my Mom died in an accident a few years back. Now I only have my Dad with me, and that just wasn't enough I no longer had my Mom tucking me in bed anymore, and I could no longer ask her for her wise words of wisdom. Although I was 18 now I still loved when she tucked me in for bed, it made me feel like a child again and those times were much happier. Yes my house could literally house 12 people, and I had a lot of expensive and valuable things, but this wasn't what had mattered materialistic things I really didn't care about. I had to do my hair all by myself now because my Dad couldn't do hair like at all, anytime he tried to do my hair it would just end up in one big knotty mess. I needed and wanted my Mom back, because my Dad couldn't even cook anything the only thing he knew how to make was cereal and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, so most of the time for dinner we would order take out. Ordering takeout did cost a lot of money, but my Dad was a lawyer so he could afford the cost of it. Usually a regular day for me would be go to school, come home do homework, and then write some songs here and there with my keyboard that my Mom had bought for me for my 15th birthday. I started to write songs after my Mom had died; I felt that I needed to let out my emotions so I figured I would reveal my feelings within music. Never would I let anyone hear my music though because I was self-conscious about my work. I felt that if people heard it they would think it sucked, and that I'm just some depressed little 18 year old. The only people that even bother to take part in my life were my Dad and my best friend Adam. These two were the only people I talked to on a regular day basis; I didn't really have any girls as best friends. Sure Adam was dating this girl named Melissa Sanders, and she tried to be friends with me but I had seen right through her fakeness. She was only trying to act like this to win Adam over; I knew this but didn't want to worry Adam with my doubts. I don't know why but suddenly Mel now despises me, and we used to be really good friends I honestly don't know why our friendship was now terminated.

Melissa and I were best friends until about a year ago when she just stopped saying a word to me. I guess our friendship was just meant to end, and still till this day I miss her being my friend, because she brought out the cheery side of me. Now that she's gone I no longer I have faith in myself, and I'm no longer that courageous Loren I used to be. All I do when I'm at school now is just go to my classes, and get scolded by Melissa here and there. Also I no longer had faith in love, my past relationships always ended with the same line "It's not you it's me." So after many failed relationships I just gave up on the idea of love, because no guy really liked me for me. Well anyways the rest of my day at school would just be normal, at lunch I just sat with Adam and him and I talked for an awful long time, because I didn't really have much more friends than him. Well I did know one another person very well, and that was Adriana Masters. Adriana and I became friends because both of our Dads knew each other from the department they worked in, and one day they introduced us to each other that's when both of us became friends. We had a lot of things in common with each other seeing that both of our Moms were no longer with us, and that the two of us liked the one and only Eddie Duran. He was my idol and my inspiration for some songs I have written. I've listened to his music ever since I was fifteen years old, and ever since then he has become my rock star idol. Although music was a passion of mine I never really believed music could and would be a career of mine, so I instead focused on a more realistic future that's why I wanted to become a lawyer just like my Dad. My school of choice would be Brown seeing that I had already been accepted there thankfully. Anyways back on the topic of Eddie Duran; I've always wanted to meet him in person, but never could get tickets to one of his meet and greets. Adriana always invited me to go with her to one of his meet and greets, but I would never budge because honestly I was nervous about seeing him up close. I was scared that I might have a major fan girl moment, and totally scare him off. Adriana and I usually talked about this stuff when we over at each other's houses, because most of the time our Dad's weren't home from work. So to keep busy for the time being we both stayed up and talked for what seemed like an eternity. At school I didn't really talk to her because she was always hanging out with Melissa. Today though was different Adriana was apparently busy, and my Dad still has not returned from work this is not really a surprise though he always arrives at the house late. So I decided I would just go to the mall by myself seeing that I needed a new pair of jeans, because I had stained a pair of blue jeans that I had really cherished while eating pastrami sandwiches with my Dad a few days ago. My Dad he was honestly trying to take the best care of me, while my Mom's presence was no longer here. Although he tried his best I just didn't feel the same as when Mom was here. I now started to tear up a bit thinking about the memory, the memory that haunted my mind ever since "that day". Seeing that I really didn't want to cry right now I decided to keep my mind occupied I would head to the mall now. It was about 7:00 so it wouldn't close until a couple hours, so with that I grabbed my keys and my brown sling purse and headed out the door. Little did I know that this little trip to the mall would change my life forever?

Eddie Duran

Fancy cars, the nice pent house, and every girl's affection in the world I had all these things, but what I truly needed and wanted desperately was someone to share it with. I needed love that empty hole in my heart that was left when my Mom had died needed to be mended. The day my Mom had died was the most gruesome day of my life; never will I feel so much pain as I did on that specific day. Yes I still had my Dad, and I thank god that he also wasn't taken from me, but I wanted and desired my mother's love again. You may ask why I'm bringing up all these memories, and the reason is because my Mother's birthday is in a few days. Both my father and I are a complete wreck on the inside, but on the outside we would try to put on a smile. I did this so that the media wouldn't antagonize the situation making my Dad and I feel like our life was an open book for the world. So my Dad and I kept our real emotions hidden from the world, and just continue on with our days acting like everything was fine. A regular day for me would just be, sit at home and think of songs to write for my new album. Jake who is my manager and the label have literally been breathing down my neck for new material. Truth was no matter how hard I tried I couldn't write anything, because I had no muse or no source of inspiration. Nothing really could and would make me feel inspired anymore. I used to date this girl named Rebecca and she was a model, and of course rock star dating a super model seems like a perfect match but that only fueled the fire. She cheated on me and was just using me the whole time for my money and fortune, and eventually I saw right through it and that's when we ended our two year relationship. At first I felt like my heart was literally ripped out of my chest because I loved her, but as the months past I figured that it was just a heartbreak that had to occur. Now I wanted to find love again, but I couldn't find a girl that was actually down to earth, and I couldn't find a girl who likes me for me and not my money. So after realizing I would never find a girl like this I just gave up on the idea of love. The days that followed after this realization were just dark and depressing. The only two people that kept my spirits up where My Dad and my best friend named Ian. Both of them brought out the cheery side of me, and I couldn't be more grateful for their presence. Today was different though both of these two wonderful people were busy doing other things, and I was just stuck sitting on my black leather couch at my penthouse alone. I wasn't really in the mood to write, and I had no clue what to do. I now was thinking of what I could possibly do, when a sudden idea popped up in my head. Since in a few days my Mom's birthday would occur, I figured I would go and get something to put at her burial site. I wanted to get her something very fancy and yet something that fit her style. So with that I grabbed my keys that lied on the top of my piano and headed out the door with only my phone and keys in hand. I decide I would head to this great flower shop located in the mall, little did I know that taking this little trip would truly change my life forever.

Well hope you liked, and yes Eddie and Loren are meeting in the next chapter so can't wait for that. Hope you continue to read the story though because this is only just the beginning literally it's just the beginning. Well thanks for reading and it would be nice if you reviewed thank you all hope you're having a great day:)

Until Next Time,

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