Sherlock Holmes, the man who lives in the flat below me, whom has always thought of me as a companion, not a friend, like John. I think of him as my friend even now, and I always will no matter what happens. Both John and I are mourning, both of us are Shattered, but I'm not as Broken as John, Sherlock was his best friend. Sure I'm his girlfriend, I could cheer him up, and I do from time to time, but you can still see that emptiness in his eyes. How much he misses Sherlock.
What happened you ask?
Well…He died.
Sherlock Holmes, my companion and close friend is…Dead.
*1 month earlier*
I was sitting in Mrs. Hudson's kitchen chewing on a peppermint leaf, just staring at nothing. Thinking of Sherlock and John, what had gone down earlier today. I ended up getting cuffed to John and Sherlock and we ran from the police as 'hostages' it was a little bit amusing really but it really worried me, after that moment with Kitty and Jim, curse their names, John told me to go back home, to Baker Street, but as quickly and silently as I could. I didn't refuse, I loved him of course I could comply with his worried….commands? If you could even call them that. Anyways, I was sitting in the kitchen when I heard the front door open, the man who was over fixing something continued on drilling but I heard Mrs. Hudson speak "Oh God, don't make me jump" she laughed, I got up from my chair and inched my way to the walk way "bu-" I heard someone stutter, John "is everything okay with the police? Has Sherlock sorted it all out?" she asked, I walked into the entryway and John stared at me with worry and doubt shining in his blue eyes "what's wrong" I asked, rushing over "bu-" he stuttered again "Oh my god" he whispered to himself, mouth agape as he turned around rushing out the door, I ran after him, following him into the cab, against his wishes of course, and he explained to me what had happened in the cab ride down to St. Barts Hospital.
When we got there John's phone went off, we got out of the cab and I paid the cabbie as he answered his phone, practically running to the building "hello" he answered before pausing "hey, Sherlock are you okay", I only heard one side of the conversation of course, nothing from Sherlock's end of the line. "No I'm coming in, Aydan's with me" John said into the receiver "Where?" he questioned, stopping and walking around the street, looking for something, probably Sherlock, I took his hand in mine as he walked and he smiled at me briefly before stopping his walking "Sherlock-?" he asked before slowly turning his body and looking to the roof of St. Barts, I followed his gaze "oh God" John said, my eyes widened and I quickly deduced a small scenario in my head, but to sum it up in one word. Moriarty.
"What's going on?" John asked, I gripped his hand tighter and he looked down at me, my eyes showed fear and realization, he looked at me with a question on the tip of his tongue, she shook my head, fighting tears "what?" John asked suddenly, looking back up at Sherlock who was standing on the edge of the roof of St. Barts, I saw Sherlock look back onto the roof and I just knew my deductions were correct, I glanced at John, he seemed to be trying to speak but all that came out was "why are you saying this" though I could tell he wanted to say more. "Sherlock" John protested before pausing again, listening to what Sherlock was telling him "okay, shut up Sherlock. Shut up. The first time we met, the first time we met, you knew all about my sister, right?" he informed the detective, he looked aghast and sad as well as angry "You could" he laughed, though it wasn't a humorous laugh. What Sherlock said next made John furrow his already creased eyebrows, in confusion as well as the anger I saw earlier, he bounced between his feet, I just looked up at Sherlock, not wanting to see Johns face when it happened. "No" John said "Alright stop it now" John began to drag me behind him toward the hospital, I saw Sherlock reach out to us with his hand as if commanding us not to move, it seemed he said so as well because John stopped walking and put up our linked hands, walking back to our spot "Alright" John said I gulped and sighed silently "Do what?" John asked.
I could just picture Sherlock's next words in my head, luckily I didn't have to because I heard them from John's phone, quiet but still there "This phone call" he paused "it's my note" I took a deep breath, even more certain, positive about the ending of this "that's what people do don't they?" Sherlock asked "leave a note" he stopped talking then and I stopped listening, I didn't want to hear this, never in a thousand years, John nearly dropped the phone, his arm bounced back up to his ear though "leave a note when?" he asked, too shocked to comprehend what his friend was doing "no" he said "don-" he cut himself off, fidgeting and shuffling his feet, fighting back the tears I knew he wouldn't let out, I saw Sherlock drop his arm, throwing the phone behind him "Sher-SHERLOCK!" John yelled dropping his arm as well. What Sherlock did next I had known and feared would happen, I spread his arms and fell.
And when he landed, I could just hear that sickening crunch from where we were standing. John let go of my hand and ran towards where Sherlock lay, unmoving, he got hit by a passing biker and it was then I fell to my knees, knowing that this was all over. I noticed John get up, dizzily stumbling over to the group of people and nurses surrounding Sherlock's body, he pushed and shoved through the nurses and civilians, dropping to his own knees he took Sherlock's wrist between his fingers. I bowed my head as silent tears flowed freely down my pale, freckled cheeks, knowing that there was no pulse and that there will never be one, ever again.
!~!~!~!
The next day Sherlock's Suicide, forced suicide, was on the front page of the paper 'Suicide of Fake Genius' it read, in a bold capitalized font, I just knew that Mycroft read the paper this morning, like every morning, and found out of his brother's death, that his only brother had killed himself, that he had admitted to being a fake. This just saddened me further. I escaped to the confines of my own flat, the music room I wanted was perfectly built in the spare room in the flat, I retreated and hid away in there. I knew that Sherlock's funeral was only weeks away and I wanted to do something for Sherlock, one last thing for him, dead or not. So for the rest of the month I composed and wrote a song for Sherlock, I planned out the whole thing, I recorded the background parts and everything, I put them on my mobile which could be plugged into speakers, any speaker system thanks to my….repairs. I only came out for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, and a couple of times to say hello to John, whom was doing just about the same thing, he just sat in his chair staring at nothing, much like I had done in Mrs. Hudson's kitchen.
*Now*
Today is the day of the funeral, I dressed in my best black clothing, my usual black coat over it and I curled my hair up into a formal bun where some of my curly bangs just couldn't fit, and on my feet I wore a pair of black converse, my Claddagh ring on my right hand the point of the heart pointing at my wrist. I looked at myself in the mirror, my empty look and red eyes. I sigh and walk out of my flat, down the stairs to John and-…John's flat, he was standing by the door, looking at his feet, he was wearing his best shirt and trousers but, like me, the usual jacket was overtop and he had the usual shoes on his feet. "You look dashing" I said softy as I stopped in front of him, he sniffed and looked up at me with his bloodshot blue eyes, "and you look beautiful" he complemented, his voice raw and scratching from both misuse and the weeping that I knew he didn't want me to see "thank you" I smiled a little and pecked him on the lips "shall we go?" I asked "I bet Marie is waiting for us" John nodded and offered me his arm, I took it and as we passed by the door I picked up my black violin case and we walked down the stairs to greet Marie and head to the cemetery, where John and Mycroft decided to hold everything, rather than a church with all that religious stuff.
Mycroft said what was needed to be said instead of a vicar, he had the right to do so since he was both Sherlock's brother and high up in the British Government. John then went up and said a few words, Marie and Lestrade said some things too, there wasn't many people there actually, only those who were mentioned as well as myself. When it was time for me to go up and say my part I took a deep breath and took out my homemade pocket speakers and my mobile, everyone was looking at me strangely as I set everything up, I pulled up the background music for my first song, a Violin, Viola and Cello cover of the mournful and beautiful song Paradise, and then I stood and picked up my violin case, I took out my white violin and it's bow, I waxed it a little before addressing the few at the funeral "I've been composing something for Sherlock's Funeral since that day" my voice threatened to break so I cleared it and continued "But before I play you my masterpiece I am going to play the song Paradise by Coldplay, a string trio version that I've been working on as well as Sherlock's song, I decided that it was a mournful and powerful enough song to start this off" I took a deep breath and pressed play on my phone before positioning the violin on my shoulder and playing along The song brought Marie to tears, and I sighed, fighting back tears myself "prepare yourself for this, it's…erm, tricky to describe but it's also a less depressing than Paradise, I mean it's Sherlock's song, how sad could it become?" I chuckled humourlessly to myself and I went to my other background recording on my phone before pressing play. The piano started off abruptly and I quickly joined with my violin, my eyes closed and a swayed to the beautiful music, silent tears fell from my closed eyes as the song came to an end, but another started just after, piano beginning it as well. A second violin joined at the end of this one and it ended as beautifully as the last [A/N- Links to both her songs in the description]. I got shocked looks and smiles when I opened my eyes "wow" I heard Lestrade mumble "I've got a whole Medley in the making on the piano as well as the violin at parts, I'll record it and send it to each of you when I'm finished" I said wiping away the stray tears on my cheeks and I put all my things away, the small group applauded me and as the men carried the coffin to the grave Marie put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me to her side, I hugged her back gently with a blank look on my face and my violin in my hand.
At the end of the funeral, John, Marie and I were left standing in front of Sherlock's grave, it was black marble with white carved letters spelling out 'Sherlock Holmes' and nothing else on the stone, the red dirt of the grave was right in front of our feet. Marie was going on and on about things, as I had my fingers laced with John's, John and I just stared at the headstone as Marie rambled, John replied to something she asked and I ignored them, just staring blankly wanting to take out my violin and play him a full and devoted musical farewell, as if my last wasn't enough. I only started paying attention when John removed his hand from mine to pat Marie on her hand in comfort "if you are concerned about the things in the fridge, sorry but some of those are mine" I said smiling softly at Marie "really?" John asked, I nodded "I even had a skull to talk to, back in Ipswich that is, but when my flat mate discovered the head in the fridge I guess that was the last straw for her, she smashed my skull, packed my things and threw me to the sidewalk before I even got home, I had finished a case that day, it was the first time the police there had called on me, I solved the case in a day and what do I get when I get home? Yelling and screaming in my face, shrill shrieks of disgust and anger just before she shoved my things into my arms and took the key from my hands." I sighed before chuckling "good times" John and Marie stared at me "what? It's a graveyard, I get all funny in grave yards" I told them, they nodded and went back to their conversation, Marie left seconds later attempting to stop her tears "Ah" John made a noise and I looked at him, he was speaking to Sherlock's grave "you told me once that you weren't a hero" he took a breath and swallowed "um" he fidgeted as he talked "there were times that I didn't even think you were human" I smiled "but let me tell you this" he paused "you were the best man and the most human, human-being I've ever known, and no one with ever convince me that you told me a lie…So" he moved back a bit "there" he made a sound I couldn't identify and he hesitated before walking over to Sherlock's headstone and touching the top in farewell "I was so alone and I owe you so much" he held back his tears, strong like the trained soldier he is, he sighed and turned to walk way, attempting to smile at me before abruptly turning back around "please" he stated "there is just one more thing, just one more thing, one more miracle Sherlock, for me" he swallowed "Don't…Be…Dead" his voice cracked as those words passed his lips "would you do that? Just for me. Just stop it, stop this" his voice sounded so broken and I could tell that with each word the wall that blocked his tears crumbled, with each word one piece dropped off, the wall lowered so much that he bowed his head and breathed in and out, all shaky breaths as he attempted to control his emotions, I shuffled over to him and took his hand in my own, lifting it to my lips and kissing his knuckles as he rose his other hand I dropped the hand from my lips but held it tightly, John's shoulders shook with suppressed sobs and his sniffled before wiping his eyes and standing up tall, I let his hand drop back to his side and he looked at the grave one more time and spun around on his heel walking briskly forward, a last salute to Sherlock Holmes.
I stayed behind for a moment, I went up to the headstone and gripped to top with my hand "Look" I kneeled beside the stone "I know you've never seen me as a friend, only as a companion and a colleague but…Even though you can't hear me now" I paused, letting one lone tear slide down my face "I just have to say, I've always seen you as a friend Sherlock, right from the start, when I met you in the flat I remembered that time when we were younger, I saw you as a friend then and I haven't stopped. You were my best and only friend in grade school Sherlock, and I know that I followed you around like a puppy, but" I took a shaky breath "I love you like a brother, and you were the only one I've ever had that connection with. You understood me Sherlock. Like no one else did, and though I have John, and he understands me, he could never understand like you did, and I hope you still do." And with that I stood pressing three fingers to my lips while backing away and then before turning I raised those fingers to his grave, in a nerdy, but true, salute to him.
And as I ran up to John, whom had slowed down his pace, violin case in hand, unbeknownst to the two of us Sherlock Holmes, alive and breathing, stood on a hill over to the side, watching whom he had always thought to be his two of his only friends kiss and walk away from his body-less grave, hand in hand, sad but content.
A.N: Songs that were used in one Youtube Playlist- www . youtube playlist?list=PLFubCrA8bdSe4S _y_ m2nU0sTqljhV4mSc&feature=mh _lolz
Erase the spaces. It's in order from the first song to the last. As well as the song that I got the idea for this story from.