Daddy dearest

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. There is nothing I could do about this, since it just popped up to me, making me realise the ideal opportunity it presented. Kishimoto-san, I owe you one for this! Chappie 343 got me an idea!

Weird days for the Serpent

He looked at the Uchiha traitor for a moment, the elemental technique still being blocked by his wrists. His serpentine eyes looked at the boy, who had betrayed him, having activated his sharingan to possibly try and kill him. Sure, there were little things that the boy could learn, but there was the small problem of the boy not having a contract with snakes, or even having the guts to try some of the body modifications that he had done. The medicines he had been taking had been because his soul had wanted to flee his body. He knew that he still had his old body preserved, missing its hand because of the way that he had left the Akatsuki, the hand being on display as a sign that he had cast away his past. Nobody knew that he still had his old body preserved somewhere in Konoha… they all must have thought he had gotten rid of it, because he had switched bodies so much, but he had been sure that it would have been preserved, since he had cast it into a block of concrete, with small tubes going to it, to make sure it was nourished, the way that it would be able to survive through some chemicals that would be recycled every year, to keep it alive, or at least semi-alive…

"Sasuke-kun… Kill me, if you must, but I'll live on… I don't take betrayal too kindly." Sasuke looked at his teacher, who had become worthless to his eyes. The elemental blade disappeared for a moment, Orochimaru's eyes locking with the blood red sharingan for a moment, his hands making a few seals, before the blade of the kusanagi split his hands apart, driving itself in his chest. A grin was on his face as he took his last few rasping breaths, coughing up some blood as he stared at the sharingan burning within Sasuke's eyes, making his determination all the stronger.

"Orochimaru-sama, here is the medici—" Kabuto's voice halted as he saw Sasuke stand there, the kusanagi blade impaling his old master, who had apparently died the moment that the blade had impaled his chest. "Sasuke-sama…" Sasuke looked at the medic-nin and then nodded, giving him permission to leave. Kabuto nodded gratefully, knowing that this would be the moment that he had been freed from Orochimaru.

He felt uneasy, like he was somewhere he shouldn't be. He looked around, seeing only a hazy mist. Suddenly, the face of his old mentor appeared before him, looking at him with eyes that seemed to carry no anger or hatred from him. "You chose your path, Orochimaru. Please, do not allow your son to choose the same path. He's been a bright boy, a wonderful kid, but all that you could do now, is mess him up further. If you go to meet him in Konoha, train him to take down that Uchiha aberration that you have created, to make amends for your sorrowful deeds in the past." The words struck a chord deep within him, looking at the spectre of the man that he had associated with getting stronger, also looking at the man like he was a father to him, guiding him along the way. If he hadn't had a few mistakes along the way, all of this could have been prevented. This curse could have been prevented; he could have lived a nice life, with a wife who would love him, if only he had not researched that accursed seal.

It had taken over his mind from the moment that he had laid eyes on it. Surely, an immortal shinobi would be the ultimate godlike being that would exist on the world, wouldn't that be true? He didn't know anymore, the words of his sensei sinking in to him, making him feel the way that it was supposed to be now, if he had stayed in Konoha. This would not have happened, he might have been made Godaime or something like that. He still remembered how much fun he used to have when he went out drinking with Tsunade, being able to hold his liquor better then anyone. Anko was a girl he picked up around his 26th birthday, taking her out of an orphanage and giving her his last name, training her to become his heir, but that failed rather spectacularly when his seal-induced madness took over. He knew that he shouldn't have marked her, should have spared her the pain and the angst that she might have been feeling from it, but he couldn't resist it, he had to, to test his immortality technique.

Silently, he vowed that his son would be the one that would be getting his full attention, though he didn't exactly know who would be his son… it could be virtually anyone, since he knew that Tsunade had only been expecting to have the baby around December… so… who should it be? He'd figure that out when he spotted the kid, after all, he was the best in camouflage and tracking out of the Dentetsu no Sannin…

He could feel the world coming to a halt around him, his mentor's face erasing itself from existence as he looked around to see a green liquid bubbling around him, tubes connecting to his body, making him look like some sort of monster he had made while he was still younger. He pulled his hands free from the tubes, relishing in the fact that he could control his body once again, making his own decisions again. He could feel how his body seemed to be revitalised once again, sending his chakra out through the chemicals, causing them to react with it and explode outwards with surprising force, just like intended. The chemicals evaporated immediately once they had been exposed to the air, the small bits of concrete scattered on the floor.

He took a careful step outside of the box that had housed his lifeless body for so many years and took a good look around. Nothing seemed to have been disturbed. The tubes and vats full of medicinal and chemical solutions were still acting like intended, now shutting down one by one now that they were no longer needed. A smile came to his face, a dry chuckle coming from his throat. There was a certain mirth in this situation. He had left Konoha to be free, only to be reborn here in Konoha once again, to train his son. He spotted his pile of spare clothing on the shelf where he had left it, before having sealed the entrance with some very powerful genjutsu. There was not a lot to choose from, only a long kimono which was not good for travelling at high speeds over the rooftops, more suited for travelling over the road. That would be one of the things that he would be best suited to wear. The other thing that he could choose from would be his old Jounin outfit, including the Jounin Jacket, but that would betray immediately who he was, unless he decided to use a henge or something similar, since that would make him suspect immediately. He looked at the stump of his arm, sighing deeply as he knew that the original was now probably somewhere else altogether. He knew that he couldn't get the ring back, but he could at least try to call it back to him, since all the Akatsuki rings were connected to their wearers, by having some blood from them in it, making them easily recalled should a person steal it or it be left somewhere due to the limited intelligence that the member displayed. The person only would need a hand seal to recall it.

With a Tora hand seal formed in one hand, he concentrated his chakra and the ring materialised in front of him, falling on the ground with a small ping. It was something out of the ordinary, making it very precious to him. To him, this ring signified his first attempt at getting away from the addiction of creating the seals to make him immortal, but it failed…

He put the ring on his finger, noticing how it didn't really seem to fit on his right hand, having been worn on his left for the time that he had worn it. There seemed to be little difference in the way that it seemed to fit but a small sense that it was supposed to go on the other hand, which was missing. He looked at the stump of his left hand and sighed quietly. He grabbed the kimono and accompanying garments and began to clothe his naked body with them. He still looked like he was 34 or younger, so he could easily pass as Naruto's father, despite the child being 15, close to 16… after all, shinobi got children early in life, most getting married or engaged at age 18, even incidents of people getting married at age 13…

He lit an explosive tag, moving his body back as the explosion cleared the block away from the entrance, which he had put up if someone decided to dispel his genjutsu, since he was still a paranoid bastard back then, still being one, but having added some more paranoid behaviour to the list…

He got above ground, noticing that he was in a forest of sorts, which apparently had been placed there. The last time that he had been here there were lots of buildings, which seemed to be demolished or something. He knew that this would have been demolished by Kyuubi, before it was sealed into that Naruto kid… thinking of the jinchuriki, he thought about how this would all play out, if he would be able to take a good shot at Sasuke-kun, weakened through the body switching method. He looked at his right hand, looking at the way that the skin seemed to be unnaturally pale. He moved his right hand through his hair, looking at the way that it looked to be flowing, before grabbing a strip of cloth and tying his hair together. If they didn't see it untied, they would have less reason to connect his image to the image of Orochimaru that they had. Of course, Jiraiya and Tsunade could immediately see through it, since they knew the minute details of his face, having worked with him for such a long time that they all took notice of some of the small things, though he still remembered that Tsunade had a small mole on her ass, the last time that he had watched it having been the day before he left, the day that she had announced that she was pregnant.

When he got to the gates of Konoha, he waited patiently in line, waiting for his turn to be admitted entrance to the village. He had thought about using a fake passport, but decided against it. He would use his birth name of Mitarashi Ichiro, which had been turned into Orochimaru three years after his birth, as was the tradition of his clan, which all used snakes in their way of attacking, being masters at poisons and other malicious things…

"Hello there, miss, can I help you with something?" he looked up at the chuunin guarding the gate and was prepared to just kill the insolent young man who had just insulted him by calling him a woman. "I'm quite male, thank you very much. I may look like a girl in this outfit, but it's not my choice to wear this. I'm visiting my son, who lives here. Please check my passport and let me be on my way." His voice was chilly like a grave, his eyes cold and hard and the chuunin guard gulped and then accepted the passport, moving aside to allow Orochimaru to pass after having inspected the passport for some time, checking the bingo book a few times, but not seeing any similarities to the other pictures. Orochimaru had been smart enough to keep his old body alive, so they had only fairly recent pictures of him, which did have the facial snakelike mascara and makeup. His original body didn't have those; he only wore them to make him more snakelike to observers…

"Could you please open the gate for me?" he asked politely, his voice being somewhat warmer and cheerier then before. The chuunin guard turned around, wondering why the man couldn't just open the small door in the gate, but then saw that a stump and a hand were pressed to the man's side, immediately spotting the disability, the guard hastily bowed and then opened the door, Orochimaru bowing in slight gratitude. "Arigato Gozaimasu." Orochimaru said. "No problem Sir. Have a nice time with your son." "Thank you."

Once he stepped inside Konoha, he took a moment to reassert himself to the surroundings once again. A lot had changed; some of the stalls had been switched around or even gone out of business. For a moment, he stood there, until he began to make his way to the central square, where the Hokage tower stood, interested in just getting a feel for the area once again. Of course, he had been here with the invasion, but then he had been over the rooftops, never paying much attention to the scenery, even the time that he was here, never straying too far from the safe areas he had picked. He watched how tradesmen and villagers peddled their wares, seemingly not having a care in the world. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking about the anarchy that he had sowed.

"Get out of the way, sir!" a man shouted and he moved aside immediately, letting someone pass him by, catching a wisp of black hair before the other man passed him by, the other man being the one who had shouted. Orochimaru shook his head for a moment, continuing onwards towards the square, where he hoped that he would be able to get a bowl of ramen, since that was a particular treat that he was willing to indulge himself in at the moment…

When he got to the square, he noticed that there were more shinobi around, noticing that there were also more ANBU around, but that was to be expected with the Hokage having taken up office in the tower, like usual. He looked around, searching for the ramen bar where he usually had been able to eat his beloved ramen, usually without Jiraiya or Tsunade knowing where he was. I'd be surprised if they knew I liked ramen… heh, if I had any kid, he or she might be a ramen addict, if you look at the amount of the stuff I consume at most times… damn, I am not sure if I even have a money pouch with me at the moment. How could I be so stupid as to forget money! Oh yes, I didn't know how long my body would be there… so I guessed it'd be needed there for about 100 years until I might have been killed, so the money might have been worthless by then…

He looked for the stall, his eyes widening in joy as he saw it, though there were some customers already there. He saw a blonde boy sitting there, as well as a pink-haired girl, with a dark haired boy sitting next to the blonde boy too. So young, but you can see that they might be the next best thing that comes along when the day needs saving... now, lets see if Teuchi-san is still knowledgeable about his best customer…

"Teuchi-san! How nice it is to see you once again!" he said when he reached the stand, his stance relaxed as he sat down next to the blonde boy after the dark-haired boy had sat down somewhere else to make space for him, a gesture which he thanked the kid for, but got no reply back, just a nod.

"Who are you?" The ramen chef asked, looking at the man to try and figure out who he was. Slowly, an image began to form and his eyes widened. "Ichiro-kun, so you're finally back from that mission you were going on or something?" Orochimaru nodded, having given the excuse for his absence for such a long time as a research mission that was hush hush, meaning that Teuchi should say nothing about it, which the man apparently had done.

"Hai, it was very… interesting. So, do you have any miso ramen for me?" the blonde boy next to him ordered a miso ramen at the same time, causing Orochimaru to look at him. "Kid, you remind me of someone I had met a long time ago..."

"What are you talking about, Ichiro-san?" Naruto asked looking at the strange man, dressed in a very formal kimono which was better suited if one was seeing relatives or some high family that one was visiting.

"Nothing, nothing, just a fragment of an old man's mind… Heh, if luck would have it…" suddenly, he thought back to his sensei's words, thinking about the child that he had supposedly gotten, a male child. "Would you happen to be born around December, boy?"

His eyes shone with confusion, though he shook his head. "No, I was born on the day that the Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked Konohagakure." Orochimaru nodded, he knew that much, but since he was an unknown party to the three of them, he kept it safe. Damn, why didn't I recognise them just yet! It was obvious that there would be some sort of meeting between us, but I have to find my son, she couldn't have given birth prematurely, that would require a shock or something equal to that… SHIT THAT'S IT! I KNEW IT! THAT'S THE THING THAT MIGHT HAVE MADE HER GIVE BIRTH PREMATURELY! She must have found my research notes… then concluded that I was a no good bastard, then the baby must have come, but then that would place the birthing at around June, which would be pretty soon too, but I don't really see myself in any of the Genin that I watched while in Konoha. Uchiha Sasuke it might be, but I don't think I had anything to do with his mother… though she DID look pretty hot when I peeped on her in the hot springs once, to celebrate the fact I had a child on the way… I didn't even tell Anko she was getting a little brother…

His face was pensive enough that it made all the people at the ramen stand look at him and he placed the stump of his left arm on the table, as if to pick up the bowl, to use the right one to feed himself the ramen. In time, he realised that that was physically impossible and retreated his hand. "Damn, I guess that this means that eating ramen is impossible now…" he looked at Teuchi, who smiled ruefully. "I can't really help you at the moment… I'm the chef and have to make sure that those two numbskulls keep out of trouble. "HEY WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING WITH THAT RAMEN!"

As Teuchi went to see to the inexperienced ramen chefs, Orochimaru looked back to the blonde boy next to him. "You're hurt. What hurt you so badly? Was it a jutsu that you used or did your girlfriend beat you too roughly?" he watched how the boy flushed for a moment, before he looked at him for a moment, fighting down the blush. "It was a jutsu designed to take down tough people…" Orochimaru nodded, he saw that from the start too, since only those jutsu tended to create multiple bone fractures. "I can see that. The bone is splintered or fractured, the cast being there to prevent you from having the healing process interrupted, am I right? And if I know the style that its done in, I guess that its one of Tsunade's apprentices that made it around your arm then?"

"Sakura-chan did it for me, to make it heal faster…" Orochimar nodded, looking at the pinky sitting there, looking like she didn't have a care in the world. "Of course. But if Tsunade herself had done it, nothing would have been needed. That woman is a true miracle bringer… well, I know a man who could do almost the same with the right chemicals, but he's been gone from this village for a long time, it seems…" Teuchi looked at his old customer for a few moments, before deciding that it might be a mere coincidence, but decided to ask nevertheless. "How come you look so young still, Ichiro-kun? You better not tell me its because you got some skin cream and such, because even I aged, you're not looking a day over forty…"

Orochimaru looked at the man and then narrowed his eyes, before he smiled, his tongue dangling from his mouth in a serpentine manner, his eyes opening fully and his slightly pointed teeth being bared and visible for the man to see. "Because a snake sheds his skin, he can grow… outwardly, nothing will change… inwardly, I will still age…" a rattling cough then shook his body, reminding him of how frail his health was at the moment.

"Fuck." He muttered unceremoniously, his voice becoming hoarse for a moment, before it smoothed once again, natural voice mechanisms coming back to him. He looked at Naruto for a moment and then sighed deeply. "Kid, I got to ask for a favour…" Naruto looked at the strange man, who had a coughing fit a scant few moments ago. "Could you feed me my ramen? I'll return the favour, of course."

Naruto looked over at the strange man, then at Sakura and at Sai, seeing no visible response from them, but trusting that this man was simply disabled with his hand chopped off by someone, probably on a mission. "Sure, I'll feed you." With that, he set to work, feeding the man the ramen bit by bit, the ramen having cooled off just perfectly.

"So, now let's get you all fed… Open wide, little Boy…" Naruto didn't look too happy at that remark, Sakura and Sai giggling and giving no emotional response respectively at the scene. "My name is Naruto, Ichiro-san." Orochimaru smiled at the response and after a little bit of thinking, he said; "Nice to meet you. My name is Mitarashi Ichiro."

Its not hard to do feeding of a young teenager, he realised as he fed Naruto some of the hot broth, taking care not to make it too hot for the teenager to make sure no accidents happened.

She watched this all occur, watching how the strange feminine man seemed to feed the semi-hot broth to the young blonde teenager, who didn't complain, but just let him be fed. She remembered him now, walking towards him with slow and deliberate strides, looking for any accomplice that he might have brought with him. There was nothing that would be able to make a difference, she was ready for the confrontation should it occur, there being ANBU nearby if it got too out of control. The look on his face seemed off somehow, not being calculating, but kinder then most would look.

"Playing with little kids, are you now, Ojayi?" he turned to the speaker, looking at his adopted daughter for a moment, a sliver of regret coming to his mind as he looked at the way that she seemed to be still mad at him for the abandonment suffered that long time ago, then the meeting in the Forbidden Forest… "Anko-chan, you know that I don't play with teenagers if I could help it. I still am a straight man, you know that…"

She raised an eyebrow and then shook her head. "Ain't convincing me, Tou-san… Granted, you look a bit different, but you've forgotten that I know how you looked without the makeup on…" that got weird looks sent at him from the teenagers, save Sai and Teuchi giving him a slightly weird look too, but it was none of his business.

"Anko, need I remind you that you still wet the bed until you were 10? Not everyone needs to know my other name, since it would be pretty hazardous for me to be here. I'm here, looking for my son, who must have been born between June and December, if that was correct…" she raised an eyebrow. "You actually were able to have children? Gee, I thought your jizz had all dried up within that husk that you call a body…"

His eye twitched slightly as he looked at her for a moment and then sighed. "I guess its to be expected that you took over some of your friend's behaviour… or maybe you just picked it up from me…" she shook her head at that, looking him into his nearly golden serpentine eyes. "I bet not. Who would want to get any of your traits?" "My children perhaps? I grafted enough DNA of mine into your body to make you biologically mine, even though you don't remember it happening!" He hissed, having bent to her, hissing the words in her ear, him being more interested in his survival then etiquette.

"Aha, I see… Well, do you promise not to cause too much trouble? Only look for my little brother or something?" Orochimaru looked at his daughter, who seemed to be very reluctantly looking favourably on him once again, by a miracle. "Seems you were right, sensei… Forgiveness can be gotten if you only try hard enough. Too bad you and I died to know that…" he muttered the last part almost inaudible, looking at Anko with a sad look on his face.

"Anko-chan, can I stay at your place? I guess my place was sold since I was probably declared missing, right?" she looked at him with a semi-helpless look on her face. If she agreed, she would be helping one of the most wanted criminals from Konoha's history books. She shook her head, knowing that there were some high ranking shinobi that came by her apartment daily, who would know if someone else was living her with her, no matter how well her father would be able to hide, even with his hand having been cut off…

He lost his hand? How did that happen? Oh well, that means he can't use some of his jutsu, which would give me the opportunity to kill him now and redeem myself in the eyes of the people, but he looks totally changed now, no longer so obsessed with that one seal that he showed me once, then told me to never look for again, since it might have been dangerous. Maybe he got too obsessed by that one seal and it took over his mind, making him act so cruel? Oh well, lets see if the blonde super boy of Hokage-sama can host him for a while… "Say, Naruto-kun, would you be able to host my poor Otousan for a few days or so? I'll make it worth your while…" her hand went down his shirt, causing Naruto to break down in sweat as her hand seemed to trail down his chest muscles, staying there for a moment, before going lower. "Of course, Anko-san!"

Orochimaru shook his head at the antics of his adopted daughter, looking at her with a bit of disapproval, but not giving any comments on it. "If he was your little brother, would you act the same?" she turned to him, flashing him a bit too much leg as she turned slightly, her hand still in Naruto's shirt. "Of course, but then we'd take showers together…"

Kakashi, who just appeared next to Anko, caught the last comment from Anko and he gave Naruto a thumbs up. Naruto just sighed and got up. "Let's go to my place then, Ichiro-san. Teuchi-san, how much do I owe you?" the ramen chef stopped shouting at his numbskull assistants and looked at his favourite customer of the last 5 years. "Nothing at all, it's on the house because an old friend came home finally after having spent nearly 16 years on a mission he still won't tell me about. Maybe later with some sake, ne, Ichiro?"

Orochimaru muttered something before he could feel a burning sensation in his throat and he lurched forward, his hand and stump going to his mouth, his right arm being able to cover it before blood spilled forth from his mouth, his coughing up blood beginning all of a sudden again. He looked at the ground, coughing up more and more blood, looking at the gunk that came with the blood and sighing deeply he got into a fully standing position again, only to see Naruto appear on his right side and Anko on his left, supporting him in their own way.

It didn't take long until they were at Naruto's place, making way for him to be placed in Naruto's bed, still coughing up some blood, until he fell into a restless sleep. Whilst he slept, he was being watched by Naruto and Anko, before the two looked at each other, Anko speaking first: "If he wakes, please help him with anything that he might need. He's a brilliant man, just a bit misunderstood. If you help him out well enough, I'll give you a part of my salary as a reward, since his accounts were all frozen, as he's been gone for a long while." Naruto nodded solemnly, knowing that she would ask this, since Jiraiya had been sick once, and he had to give the same instructions to someone else who would take care of the man whilst he trained on. Of course, they weren't the exact ones, but they matched well enough…

After all was agreed, she went to her own apartment to take a bit of a shower, leaving Naruto with Orochimaru, who he only knew as Ichiro, Anko's father. Anyone would be able to recognise him if he had his makeup on, but nobody would, due to the hand missing.

Naruto fell asleep, sleeping on a small futon that he had propped up next to the bed, looking at the ceiling for ten minutes, listening to the ragged breathing of Orochimaru until sleep claimed him finally, sending them both into a well deserved sleep.

Well, I hope to be able to write another chapter if this is well received by the public, but am currently a bit ill, so I guess that this might be the first thing I'm going to publish in a week or two, until I get better. Getting better already, having had the worst part of the sickness, but you don't know what'll be creeping round the corner next time… anyways, I hope to receive some nice reviews on this.

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