She hadn't had time to think about it. Well, she didn't want to. For the past month, there had been a distraction that could push the memory out of her mind, that could let her pretend that everything was fine. But now the distractions were gone. She had nothing but time to think, think about exactly what she had tried not to - that awful night at Malfoy Manor.
It was only days after the Battle of Hogwarts, everyone was still grieving. Hermione had gone back to the Burrow with Harry and the Weasleys; she was extremely grateful that they had even let her. Truthfully, she had nowhere else to go - it's not like her parents knew she existed.
She hadn't spoken much in the days that she had been there, giving the family time to grieve the death of their brother, their son. But it was also because she had nothing to say. She felt numb, empty. She didn't feel anything. She longed to feel absolutely anything, but no matter what she did, she felt nothing. It had been days, why was she still like this?
It had been two days since they had buried Fred, and everyone's attention had shifted to each other - but unfortunately, mostly to her. They noticed she didn't eat, looked like she barely slept. She didn't like the attention she got. She wanted to go unnoticed, she didn't want any of them to worry about her. But they did - especially Ron. He was the first one to notice she wasn't herself, questioning her the night after they buried Fred. She played it off that she was fine, she was just tired. She could tell he didn't buy it. But he didn't push her, and he didn't ask her about it agin.
It still bothered her how she didn't feel anything. So she slipped out of bed, creeping into the bathroom. She showered, washing away everything from the war - both literally and figuratively. But still, she felt empty, like a part of her was missing. She guessed it was the effects of the Cruciatus curse, that it had taken out a part of her. After all, it had made Neville's parents go insane - and she was afraid that it was beginning to happen to her. She ended up punching the wall, hoping just to feel something. All she felt was pain in her wrist, but it was better than nothing. She opened up the bathroom door, cradling her now swollen wrist. And she had seen Ron - he was sitting out in the hallway.
He had waited up for her.
There were no words exchanged between the two, as she didn't exactly know what to say. He eyed her wrist, raising an eyebrow. If things were different, if they were back at Hogwarts, he would've questioned her about it. But he didn't, and weirdly, she was thankful for it. He stayed silent as the two moved closer, and without saying a word, he hugged her.
Hermione wrapped her arms around him, and she felt something - was it butterflies? Whatever it was, she felt something. Finally. But of course, she still wasn't the same. She probably wasn't going to be for a long time, but at least it was a start.
After a few minutes, she crawled back into bed in the room she shared with Ginny - although she figured she wouldn't fall asleep. She held onto that feeling, glad that after weeks, she finally didn't feel completely numb.
She closed her eyes, hoping to, for once, stop everything from floating around in her mind and finally fall asleep.
Sorry its kind of short, but hope you enjoyed the first chapter!