Hello, everyone. Been a while, yeah? I've been gone for quite a while, so please forgive this little attempt at a story. I was just trolling around the Gintama fandom and decided that I wanted to try writing a Otae x Gin story, which is horribly funny for a lot of reasons. The first being that I fail at romance. The second being that I'm horribly out of shape when it comes to writing. The third: I haven't watched the series in a while. And the last, well, as much I would like to see one of two pairings happen (Gin and Otae or Gin and Tsukuyo), it's just not something I see happening. Ever. So the first two prototypes to this story felt so horribly OOC that I couldn't bear it. This still doesn't seem too in-character, but it's better at least. Anyway, it was also supposed to be a one-shot. I've come to realize that I can't write any more than that or I'm at risk of never finishing. But then this grew to be longer than I expected, and I'm pretty tired, so hopefully the rest will be up soon. Anyway, I hope it isn't too bad. There's not much at all that goes on during this chapter either, so...yeah. Romantically speaking. And plot-wise. *sigh* Why did I do this again? I'm sure I'll know in the morning.

A Gorilla Offering Sweets is Still Just a Gorilla

There was another record-breaking heat wave in Kabuki-cho, and Sakata Gintoki was having none of it. He was hogging the barely-functioning fan with glee. Kagura had gotten hauled away by her father for a rare visit. Gin didn't know where they were going, but he did know that they took Sadaharu with them. Shinpachi darted out early in the morning because of an Otsuu concert.

He leaned further into the weak breeze created by the fan in satisfaction. If he had a parfait and some strawberry milk, it would've been perfect. The Yorozuya was blissfully quiet and Gin got to completely lay claim to the one fan they managed to salvage about three days ago. There were no complaints about the heat or fighting over who got to sit in front of the fan. There were no complaints about about how there was no food in the fridge. The old hag didn't come to bug him for the rent that was several months overdue because the heat was so intense. Though she could've sent Tama instead. Oh well. Gin certainly wasn't complaining.

Just as he contemplated taking a nap, there was a light knocking on the door. Who the hell was out in this weather? What job could possibly be done in this heat? And it definitely wasn't Tama or the old hag. Gin decided to just ignore it. He closed his eyes and sighed as the fan gently shifted his silver curls ever-so-slightly.

The knocking came again. This time it was accompanied by a "Gin-san, if you don't open up, I'll kick down the door."

Gin groaned. He knew that threatening innocent voice anywhere. He climbed to his feet, leaving behind the only bit of cool air in the room. His feet dragged on the way to the door. If Shimura Tae was going to be crazy enough to come all the way to the Yorozuya in this heat, she could handle the heat for just a few more seconds.

When he slid the door open, there she was. Dressed in her normal pink kimono and her hair done up, looking the part of a pretty (but flat as board) woman. Gin knew better. This wasn't a woman. This was a mountain gorilla that had a heat resistance that bordered on fire-proof.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, not bothering to greet her or invite her in. "Why the hell did you walk all the way here in this weather? Especially in that kimono. You don't even look like you're breaking a sweat."

"Of course not," Tae answered, tilting her head with that deceivingly innocent smile on her face. "A woman must always look her best, even in this sort of heat wave."

"A woman? What woman? All I see is a mountain gor-"

An angry fist connected with his face and Gin went flying backwards. He deserved that, he supposed. But she just proved his point, so he figured it was worth it.

As he was picking himself up off the floor, Tae was closing the door behind her. "So what did you come here for anyway?" Gin asked out of obligation. He didn't really care. All he wanted was to retreat back to the fan. Plus, he wasn't in the greatest mood because he'd been deprived of sugar over the past week.

"Isn't it obvious?" Tae replied, acting as if he should already know the reason. Shinpachi and Kagura were gone, which she should've known about ahead of time. So it wasn't for them. He really had no idea what she was doing here, and he wasn't in the mood for guessing games. So he waited for her to answer. She walked over the the couch in front of the fan and took his previous spot directly in front of that little machine. Gin groaned again internally as he took the spot opposite her on the other couch.

"It's work," she elaborated after a moment. "A wild gorilla turned up on my roof this morning, and I was so surprised that I accidently blew a hole in the roof as I was chasing it away." She said this all with a sickly-sweet smile. You wouldn't know she was talking about nearly blowing up a stalker just by looking at her.

"Yeah, and so you want me to fix this hole?" Gin asked.

"That's right."

"When?"

"Preferably today."

"In this heat? Hell no. Why don't you just ask Shinpachi to do it? He's part of the Yorozuya too," Gin said petulantly.

"Shin-chan is at a concert today."

"Why do you want the roof fixed today of all days?"

"It's supposed to rain tonight," Tae lied. Gin knew that was a load of bull. He'd faithfully watched Ketsuno Ana's weather prediction this morning just like always, and there was nothing about rain. And Gin hadn't gone outside in a while, but he had a feeling that any clouds that might've been in the sky had been burned away by the sun by now.

Normally, he would've kicked up an argument, but he didn't have the energy because of the heat and not having any sugar in his bloodstream. Besides, he was pretty sure that Tae was going to make him fix her roof if she had to drag his corpse there. So he just shot her a look. Why was she lying anyway? He forced the thought away. He did NOT have the energy to try and understand what was going on in this gorilla woman's head.

"Have you asked any professional roofers if they can fix it?" he asked desperately.

"They all claimed it was too hot out today to do the work. Gin-san, you shouldn't be turning down jobs when you haven't had work in several weeks. I know that you don't even have money for a quart of strawberry milk."

It was true, and Gin grumbled in reluctance. It was looking more and more impossible to refuse the job. His withdrawal from the sugar was getting pretty severe, and he badly needed a parfait. Still, he couldn't eat a parfait if he was dead, right?

"What if I promised to buy you a parfait or whatever each week for the rest of the year rather than pay you?" That settled it. He was sold. Pay was always tight, anyway. What made it unbearable was not being able to have sweets. Now that someone had promised to buy those for him, he didn't need the money. The old hag could wait another few months.