So this is my first ever crack fanfiction. Its smutty and a joke I wrote for some friends. Its cringe worthy and full of OCs. Expect nothing. A plot hasn't even bet determined yet.
The great hall darkened by only candle light and the mystically blue night sky was alive with chatter between the returning Hogwarts students. The dazzled and frazzled first years were currently being sorted into their new houses, their trepidation and wonder practically suffocating the room between the tanned stone walls in their own hearts, the sorting hat's voice barely booming over the stories and tales of the summer – mostly those tales of the World Cup.
Harry sat by his bushy haired best friend, across from him Ron sat between his sister and the mischievous twins, stuffing his face as they idly chatted about anything besides the World Cup between calls of "GRYFFINDOR" from the snarky old hat. By luck not on their side, their classmates continuously drew them into the conversation, forcing Hermione to bring up the extension charm on the tent in great detail to placate Harry, Neville joining in from her left side about a paper he had been working on the previous year about extending a greenhouse with a similar but more delicate charm, as to not affect the magical properties of the plants.
It wasn't until Dumbledore had finished his speech about the Tri Wizard Tournament in front of the high table that the great feasting hall's excessively large doors squeaked open with such a deep sound that it garnished no more attention than usual – which meant half of everybody. Two girls were escorted in by Filch, girls that Harry, and many others in the hall, did not recognize. Standing to the right, the taller of the two was evenly tanned, her molten toffee orbs shined from her flawless pointed face against her dark lashes and supple and sultry deep pink lips. Soft brunette hair wrapped down in elegantly laid curls into a honey blonde that would make the most beautiful Malfoy matriarch envious. The curls stopped just at the top of her breasts which pressed tightly against her unrobed white button-up shirt, tie missing. Tucked into her tiny waste before her – shorter than he expected – school skirt pooled around her shapely hips and down her upper thighs that cascaded into silky caramel legs. He looked away quickly, gulping down a blush he wasn't expecting before his eyes roamed to the girl beside her.
Shorter by a few inches, this girl had darker maroon hair that shined blood red or a playful purple depending on which way the candle light struck upon it, falling straight and thick to the base of her spine. Her pale skin contrasting to her companion despite their close facial features. Gray eyes with specks of dusty cyan were piercing under her poised marrow red eyebrows and her lighter lips were set in a wry grin. Not as shapely as her taller counterpart, her hips sat wide in a feminine sort of way, her own white shirt being unbuttoned to expose a black camisole beneath her crossed arms, and a Hufflepuff tie lazed haphazardly around her neck but not tangled into the bronze gold chain that fell beneath the camisole. She sported a pair of black pajama pants instead of the expected school skirt – something she most certainly got detention for, Harry was positive – tight around her round rear and getting looser as it worked down her thighs.
Harry's attention went back to first girl he laid eyes on, watching as Snape approached and chatted with the two, though chatted wasn't usually a word one would use to describe Snape's conversations, it seemed the two girls were comfortable goading the man. He felt his pants tighten slightly as he wondered what else she would feel comfortable doing. Ron interrupted his vicariously growing thoughts as the two girls separated ways in the right of the hall, the auburn girl sitting at the end of the Hufflepuff table while the golden goddess as Harry had temporarily dubbed her, moved to the center of the hall, gliding like a Beauxbaton before taking a seat at..
He felt himself deflate in more ways than one.
The Slytherin table.
"Who are they? Ive never noticed them before! And with a body like that, MERLIN would I have noticed her before!"
Hermione and Ginny grimaced as specs of potatoes fell in front of him. "Chew your food Ronald McDonald, this isn't the burrow." The ginger haired girl gagged.
Harry voiced the question in a politer tone. "I think they're new…?"
"Transfers. From Ilvermorny. I heard Professor McGonagall say they're sisters."
"They look nothing alike," Ginny spoke pointedly "Most wizarding families' children are practically-" She was cut off by the twins bubbly voices "-Identical!"
Harry shook his head "Regardless, we should meet them. Welcome them to Hogwarts properly."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Welcome them, huh?" Harry only ducked away back to his pie.
As she sat in an open seat on the long wooden bench, she made eye contact with a dark haired, light skinned beauty. She licked her upper lip slowly with a smile, causing the male to smirk back as he righted his shoulders and stuck his steady hand across the table.
"Adrian Pucey. A pleasure. Are you new?"
"A pleasure it is," she purred as her eyes twinkled at him, not missing the stirring looks from the boys who sat around him, "I've transferred from Ilvermorny, my sister and I are finishing out our schooling in the United Kingdom."
"Your sister?" He scowled, taking a glance at the Hufflepuff table.
"Don't you worry your pretty little head, she had to bribe the headmaster to let her into Hufflepuff. Something about not liking water and wanting to be near the kitchens. The fat-ass." She snarked, "You can call me Gigi."
He gave an assuming grin as he gestured to the boys on either side of him, "Marcus Flint, Graham Montague."
Cal gave a snort as she spoke to Zacharias Smith, Hannah Abbott, and the ever dashing Cedric Diggory. "I've never met Tonks actually, though I find being a metamorphmagus particularly fascinating."
"Your father, he was a Black, wasn't he? I heard my father mention there were heirs to the Black house in America." Cedric spoke with hesitance.
"Regulus Black. Yes, my sister's father as well. As it turns out he was quite the hound on his travels, but I have only ever found one other bastard child before his… untimely disappearance. However did you guess?"
"I saw the Orion constellation tattooed on your thigh on the way to the great hall, before you changed-" "It's a ghastly skirt, really!" "- and the Blacks are known for their affection for the stars."
"I didn't see much of him, if that's what you're expecting to get out of me," the auburn haired girl spoke pointedly, "I was mostly raised by some Black house elves, Komie and Kreacher. Hookey helped raise my sister."
"The slytherin…" Smith hissed. "Komie?!" Abbott embellished, causing a laugh from Diggory.
Cal shrugged, completely and blatantly ignoring Smith, "I was a brash and unapologetic American child."
Her bare foot tapped impatiently on the glossy marble of the floor, shoes long left in her dormitory. Cal pulled her wand out of her bun, the hair falling loosely down her neck, before pointing it at the door with a small flick. A pleasured grown erupted from the inside of the forgotten broom closet, followed by a feminine shriek and a grunt of dissatisfaction.
"You bloody bitch!" Gigi called as she stumbled out of the closet, pulling her lacy dark panties up from beneath her skirt.
"Quickies don't take that long, Gi. You've been in there an hour, its almost curfew."
Gigi smirked as she buttoned her shirt, Adrian Pucey stumbling out behind her – shirtless and sweaty – and planting a kiss to the back of her ear, causing the exotic beauty to shiver from the hot breath that fanned down her neck as his hand gripped her left hip tightly, before heading down the hall past Cal with his shirt and tie thrown over his left shoulder. "Since when have you EVER given a flying broomstick dildo fuck about curfew?"
"Since I wanted to ruin your fun," The redhead gave a feral grin, "Don't you wanna go exploring with your volatile sister?"
"What the fuck are you planning!?"
Their walk down the corridor reverberated their giggles across the portraits that frowned at the two impish misses. Their conversation halted when three figures turned the corner in front of them.
"Hey, new girls!"
"How eloquent.." Cal drawled.
"Hush Ron! What are the two of you doing out past curfew?" The short brunette spoke in the most intimidating manor she could seem to muster up.
Gigi barked out a laugh, "You look like a wet kitten!" "We could ask you the same."
"I happen to be a prefect." Hermione huffed.
"Oh and I suppose these two upstanding gentlemen happen to beprefects as well…?" Gigi mimicked Cal's earlier drawl, one hand on her hip and the other gesturing towards Ron's catawampus appearance.
Harry cut off any further conversations as he ran a hand through his unruly hair. "Who are you?"
"I'm Cal, this is my sister Gigi. We're transfers from Ilvermorny but I speculate you already knew that. Care to introduce yourself, Hercules?"
"I'm Harry, Harry Potter. This is Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley."
Gigi gasped out "Weasley!" under her breath in giggles as she brought her hand forward to hide her white grin, the bouncing of her chest as her body shook eliciting another unexpected blush from the "chosen one."
"Wonderful, now if you don't mind, we'll be continuing on our way."
"You can't just wonder the halls at night!- Who are you, really, I've heard whispers." Harry cut Hermione off.
"Black. Our father was a Black." Harry hissed "Siri-" "Regulus. Regulus Black was our father." Gigi continued.
"Bloody Snake scum! You slimy bastards must be one of them! Death Eaters!" Rons shouts practically echoed, causing a round of unpleased exclamations from the portraits, as he took a step forward with his left foot.
Before Harry or Hermione could react, Ron was thrown back down the hallway, hair singed and wand a baker's dozen feet away.
"How did you do that?!"
"Wandless magic. Gotta be careful of the no-maj." Gigi grinned in a feral manner that caused Harry and Hermione to step back slowly. Meanwhile, Cal stalked towards the ginger haired boy before yanking him up by the collar and pressing his back against the window. "Talk to my sister like that again and I will burn every inch of skin from your body-"
"DETENTION. ALL of you." The deep velvety voice brought Gigi metaphorically to her knees as she whipped around to face a seething Snape.